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Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

irlZaphod posted:

In that instance, it's better to use the inside of your leg to control it first, unless you're being closed down and won't have time.

Yeah, like I said, inexperience haha. It was the first sport I played where you don't wear a cup by default. Now I know better.

Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:

Outdoor season is here finally and I'm playing 11vs11 and apparently this year the team wants me to move from my usual holding midfield/destroyer role into a centrehalf because both of our starting CBs hosed off and moved on to bigger and better things. I'm only 1.82m tall and I was wondering if there was any specific things I should be working on because the first team we are playing has a massive 2m tall striker originally from Africa. I know I am probably going to lose out on every single aerial battle but I also am worried about his strength, I'm not the strongest player on the pitch. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to disrupt his game? I already have decided I'm going to do my usual dirty player tactics, step on his feet during set pieces to prevent him from jumping, give him the occasional "accidental" jab in the ribs when fighting for a ball in the air and that type of thing, but aside from being a dirty oval office is there anything like I should be working on to not embarrass myself on the pitch?

I know this may come off as stupid because I just mentioned some of the stupid things I used to do as a defender, but I might be able to help out a tad. I have learned since then.

what I do, when someone is bigger than me, is give them no space at all except in the midfield where giving him no space could leave you burned on a good through ball. When I was covering a forward, I'd essentially put my belly on him and occasionally bump him out of the way to let him know I was still there. I think the biggest thing is just don't let him use his size and strength to bully you around. Aerial battles can be a bitch, but a way to counteract that is to stay on the ground and get yourself in a position that you know you'll be able to try to take him on as soon as the ball gets under control. If it's in the box for a set piece, have someone else cover him and you watch the inside or outside post. If it's not on a set piece, just restrict his movement.

If the guy is faster than you, give him a little shove off before you run. When you're in midfield and you're standing behind him, keep an arm up near him when the ball is getting close. As soon as he starts to run, use your arm for a little leverage to slow his acceleration and boost yours.

I guess the biggest thing too is typical defending stuff. Jockey him if he's coming at you and stay goalside. Pushing people off to the wings makes them uncomfortable when they see their room is running out. Also try to find out what foot they are weak with, you can usually do that by watching them practice before the game. A lot of people will try to juke you and go around you via their strong foot. That means if they're right footed, they'll be juking to your right then going left. Don't always go straight in for the tackle because you will get beat a lot. Force him to make a mistake.

Another good thing is just get underneath the striker's skin, because he'll be trying to do it to you. I've been in a lot of box battles that got pretty heated because I wouldn't give the guy room, wouldn't let him move wherever he wanted, and made it so that he would get frustrated at not being able to play so he'd be impulsive and make mistakes.

Edit: Don't be afraid to just boot it the gently caress out either. One of my fellow defenders always wanted to hold onto the ball. This lead to him getting embarrassed often.

Soulex fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Mar 31, 2014

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Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:

Playing football when it's -10°C and snowing sounds cool and manly as hell but in fact, it isn't and is absolute shite.

I played one winter snow game outside, and I will never do that again.

Charlotte Hornets
Dec 30, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
I've played 3 times this year at -15 C and it was glorious.

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Man, got told last night there wouldn't be any Monday night 5's since our football halls are getting done up but apparently they are still open at night time while the works is being done so I'm sweetly relieved.

I like how on my 5 a side day I contrive to eat a healthy diet. Porridge with banana and a glass of OJ for breakfast, home-made vegetable soup and tiger bread for lunch and I'll be having scrambled eggs on toast with bacon and hollandaise sauce for my pre-match meal.

If I put in this much effort the other 6 days I'd not be a couple of stone overweight :p

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:

Outdoor season is here finally and I'm playing 11vs11 and apparently this year the team wants me to move from my usual holding midfield/destroyer role into a centrehalf because both of our starting CBs hosed off and moved on to bigger and better things. I'm only 1.82m tall and I was wondering if there was any specific things I should be working on because the first team we are playing has a massive 2m tall striker originally from Africa. I know I am probably going to lose out on every single aerial battle but I also am worried about his strength, I'm not the strongest player on the pitch. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to disrupt his game? I already have decided I'm going to do my usual dirty player tactics, step on his feet during set pieces to prevent him from jumping, give him the occasional "accidental" jab in the ribs when fighting for a ball in the air and that type of thing, but aside from being a dirty oval office is there anything like I should be working on to not embarrass myself on the pitch?

Use your lower center of gravity and your hips to put him off balance on set pieces. Don't hip check him obviously, but don't be afraid to use your lower torso to push in to his thighs and such. Wiry little fuckers used to do that to me when I went up for corners and free kicks and it drove me insane.

ephex
Nov 4, 2007





PHWOAR CRIMINAL

Ramagamma posted:

I like how on my 5 a side day I contrive to eat a healthy diet. Porridge with banana and a glass of OJ for breakfast, home-made vegetable soup and tiger bread for lunch and I'll be having scrambled eggs on toast with bacon and hollandaise sauce for my pre-match meal.
That is possibly the worst pre-match meal ever lol

Filthee Fingas
Jan 5, 2004
It's great being left handed..you can jerk off and still keep the mouse on the right side of the keyboard

euroboy posted:

Because the worst player always has to play in goal

I only play goalie (5 a side) because I can't kick (properly) a ball. I blame Ice Hockey and being a Canadian living in London

Insanely Sikh
Aug 26, 2009

Winner, SA's Sikh Of the Year, 2013
Scrambled eggs with a bit of laal mirch, with beans or toast and a banana half an hour before the game is my new pre-game routine

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer
My pre-5-a-side meal is a bagel and a 5 hour energy.

I am out of shape.

irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

I don't usually eat before I play because I usually play right after work

Charlotte Hornets
Dec 30, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
if you play as a goalie you don't need to eat tbh.

Ho Chi Meeeeee
Jun 13, 2008

let me shovel out your brains
hang my image in your skull
so I can be the vision
in your nightmares from now on
I'll usually eat lots of pasta or something with a lot of carbs before the game. lol @ eating a bunch of things that will make you fart and poo poo your pants like hollandaise sauce and eggs.

Simone Poodoin
Jun 26, 2003

Che storia figata, ragazzo!



I usually eat a banana and a cup of coffee or two

Ho Chi Meeeeee
Jun 13, 2008

let me shovel out your brains
hang my image in your skull
so I can be the vision
in your nightmares from now on

Drogadon posted:

I usually eat a banana and a cup of coffee or two

Arent you a keeper though? You could have a full english before every game and not be affected.

Simone Poodoin
Jun 26, 2003

Che storia figata, ragazzo!



Yeah, but I don't like feeling heavy so I only eat that. Banana for cramps, coffee for focus.

Ho Chi Meeeeee
Jun 13, 2008

let me shovel out your brains
hang my image in your skull
so I can be the vision
in your nightmares from now on
Being a midfielder owns you run around all day twatting into people and intercepting the ball and then you make a sideways or 10m pass to the guy who actually is creative and you start all over again.

irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

I usually just plonk myself on the half way line and play through balls

Then if we lose the ball I shout at all my teammates a lot and tell them to get back and defend

Xylorjax
Nov 27, 2002

Oh poo poo I didn't know I had teammates ITT

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
my favourite pre-match preparation was going out all night dancing and doing coke/mdma getting no sleep and playing in the final game of the season in goal.

amazingly there was an all night rave still going on in the valley next to the place where we play football and I could hear the techno music coming from their party.

sunny day, still buzzing playing football with my mates and some beats. loving awesome.

we lost 4-1 but who gives a gently caress.

Fryhtaning
Jul 21, 2010

I loving give up. I almost never bother practicing left footed shots because I barely have any skills with my right as it is, but I'm scoring 2 out of every 3 goals left-footed. Two games ago: curled one into the corner on a volley. Last game, let one go through my legs and flicked it with the back of my left heel over the diving keeper. I've never even practiced that move.

Got properly introduced to rubber turf burn that game as well. Made a power turn around their midfielder with nobody else in front of me and hit the jets, then before I even knew what happened I was eating turf in a superman pose. Fucker had been doing that poo poo all game and never got cautioned. That was easily a yellow in pro ball, let alone an over-30 rec league. Two more steps and I'd even go so far as saying red.

I thanked him a few minutes later by putting him into the side wall, hockey style.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:

I'll usually eat lots of pasta or something with a lot of carbs before the game. lol @ eating a bunch of things that will make you fart and poo poo your pants like hollandaise sauce and eggs.

That isn't going to help you any either. Yall should have a double espresso and an apple. Play hungry, like a predator.

Robbie Fowler
May 31, 2011
still waiting to play my first game of the season, last weekend got rained out. :(

my prematch routine usually consists of having a couple of vodkas and a few cigarettes, followed by some pre workout thing 10 mins before the game kicks off.

Ho Chi Meeeeee
Jun 13, 2008

let me shovel out your brains
hang my image in your skull
so I can be the vision
in your nightmares from now on

vaginal culture posted:

That isn't going to help you any either. Yall should have a double espresso and an apple. Play hungry, like a predator.

gently caress that, playing hungry is dumb imo. I dont eat a huge meal but I have a decent serving of pasta with homemade pesto and some veggies, i'll drink a cup of tea. Other times i'll make beans on toast with my tea. I dont like playing with people all thwacked out on tina or whatever. Those people are the worst.

Olewithmilk
Jun 30, 2006

What?

My non-studded shoes are falling to pieces and I can't ignore it anymore, can anyone recommend a good set of boots without studs that I can get from sports direct or somewhere.

marcadia
Sep 13, 2005


Olewithmilk posted:

My non-studded shoes are falling to pieces and I can't ignore it anymore, can anyone recommend a good set of boots without studs that I can get from sports direct or somewhere.

Yeah seconding this, my astro copas are falling apart and I need some new ones but don't want to pay £90, ideally I'd like some cushioning underfoot to protect my knees a bit more from the hard astro surface.

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009
In your guys' experience, what have you noticed is the rarest skill among people you play with?

I've played pickup and league soccer in like 8 states, and rarely can anyone finish. There are great dribblers, passers, defenders, etc., but very few consistent finishers.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Bobby Digital posted:

In your guys' experience, what have you noticed is the rarest skill among people you play with?

I've played pickup and league soccer in like 8 states, and rarely can anyone finish. There are great dribblers, passers, defenders, etc., but very few consistent finishers.

Tracking back

Xylorjax
Nov 27, 2002

Playing possession. Even the guys who have the requisite skills are more interested in trying to dribble through 4 defenders or hitting the perfect through ball to the triple-covered striker than in taking a step back and working the ball around to a better option.

EDIT: Fitness.

Chas McGill
Oct 29, 2010

loves Fat Philippe

Bobby Digital posted:

In your guys' experience, what have you noticed is the rarest skill among people you play with?

I've played pickup and league soccer in like 8 states, and rarely can anyone finish. There are great dribblers, passers, defenders, etc., but very few consistent finishers.

Civility.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

Xylorjax posted:

EDIT: Fitness.

It's this. Since none of us are pros or semi pros (I think) no matter where you play you're going to get plenty of people who are out there just for the exercise, which is perfectly fine, but it leads to things like people never


because you have to run to do that. I don't really care, but it is common everywhere.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Bobby Digital posted:

In your guys' experience, what have you noticed is the rarest skill among people you play with?

I've played pickup and league soccer in like 8 states, and rarely can anyone finish. There are great dribblers, passers, defenders, etc., but very few consistent finishers.

Finishers by far are the rarest along with really good goalkeepers(not fat goons).

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Gigi Galli posted:

It's this. Since none of us are pros or semi pros (I think) no matter where you play you're going to get plenty of people who are out there just for the exercise, which is perfectly fine, but it leads to things like people never


because you have to run to do that. I don't really care, but it is common everywhere.

Its why I hate 5 a side because even at striker you have to track back whereas in outdoor you can just hang with the CB's and chill

Ho Chi Meeeeee
Jun 13, 2008

let me shovel out your brains
hang my image in your skull
so I can be the vision
in your nightmares from now on
Yeah anyone who can finish is very rare.

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16
Fan of Britches

Shrapnig posted:

Finishers by far are the rarest along with really good goalkeepers(not fat goons).

So in your games no one can finish but the goalies are crap?

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Set Pieces.

Captain Trips
May 23, 2013
The sudden reminder that I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about

Ramagamma posted:

Set Pieces.

What's a set piece? Every pickup game I've played has "friendly outs".

Simone Poodoin
Jun 26, 2003

Che storia figata, ragazzo!



hosed up my knee, will see the physio tomorrow to see what's wrong. Have some pain behind the kneecap when I bend it and apply weight.

Sucks because we have a tournament match on Saturday that we have to win to get out of the group stages. Luckily, and relevant to an older discussion, we have a backup keeper so hopefully we can do the job.

cosmicjim
Mar 23, 2010
VISIT THE STICKIED GOON HOLIDAY CHARITY DRIVE THREAD IN GBS.

Goons are changing the way children get an education in Haiti.

Edit - Oops, no they aren't. They donated to doobie instead.

I love this answer. Every team I join, my teammates argue and bully just as much the other team if not more, and every game they argue and nearly get into fist fights and blame the other team for being a bunch of dicks.

Finishing is next biggest problem. We are 1-1-3 so far this season. We just played a 1-1 draw with a team we dominated almost the entire game. (Don't blame me, I played stopper the whole game.) Last minute of the game someone missed the goal centered in front of the goal seven yards out with no pressure. It was practically a PK, except the goalie wasn't as ready and he was slightly closer (and he's our second best finisher).

Tracking back isn't as much a problem for our team as much as not defending the open person instead of just standing there watching, then tracking back once the open guy gets the ball.


Possession - We are guilty of this too. We have a bad problem with playing down to our opponents. We have good players that are fast and have great ballskills, but then put jerseys on and they make fat old people defenders look like pros because they panic in games.

irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

I play with loads of people who are good finishers

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Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009
Fitness is not a skill, this is not Crossfit.

I hadn't considered tracking back. That's definitely a big one, although I think that's more tactical than technical.

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