Star Trek: ...And The Neckbeards Shall Post

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Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

Sash! posted:

There's not a second of Star Trek I haven't seen.

It's too late. I've seen it all.

Watch playthroughs for the 25th Anniversary game and Rites of Judgement. They're pretty fun.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 05:22

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 20:35

Hip-Hoptimus Rhyme: Mar 19, 2009; Gods don't make mistakes

Sash! posted:

Naw, Romulan ale just has a shitload of sugar in it, see, but the Federation types are so used to all that ultra-healthy stuff that they don't even know what sugar really tastes like. Like that weird kid at school that wasn't allowed candy and then went out of his mind if he got a bite size Snickers in him

I can't think of a society that would enjoy sugar less than Romulans. Vulcans maybe but only because they can't actually enjoy anything.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 05:29

V-Men: Aug 15, 2001; Don't it make your dick bust concrete to be in the same room with two noble, selfless public servants.

OtherworldlyInvader posted:

Yeah there's no way that stuff was supposed to be anything other than some sort of distilled drink.

I like to imagine its illegal because its methanol based, and the only reason Kirk isn't dead is because Bones has something in his magic medicine bag for it.

I'm pretty sure the only thing in Bones' magic medicine bag is more Romulan Ale.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 05:44

Kibayasu: Mar 28, 2010

Blazing Ownager posted:

Watching DS9 here and there while working on some stuff and I have to say the aliens that made those "Harvester" bio-weapons are the dumbest motherfuckers in the entire franchise. Pakleds are smarter than these guys.

Their plan:

1: Gather up all their smartest scientists and outside Federation help to figure out how to get rid of a Bio-Weapon. Don't just chuck them into the sun now.
2: Proceed to murder everyone who saw the data, but were entirely responsible for figuring out how to get rid of and cure said Bioweapons, not create them.
3: Extend that plan to two Federation officers who would never have any reason to re-create them "just to be sure." Except, you know, The Federation could make infinitely superior and more deadly weapons, bio or otherwise, if they had even a REMOTE mind to. So to insure that the Federation doesn't just roll a ship up and blast the crap out of them, they try to murder their people.
4: And all of this, in the end, is over a bio-weapon that gives you some mild flu-like symptoms and can be cured so rapidly and easily that if you can just get to a sick bay, you'll be 110% cleared to go home an hour later.

The whole plot would have worked infinitely better if it was some kind of game changing, solar-system destroying weapon or something that could not be disposed of properly, like highly unstable energy or something. But the aliens are fixated on something that makes any modern day bio-weapon look worse than a nuke in comparison in an era when a single ship can render an entire planet uninhabitable with a single torpedo. This is like antagonizing someone with a fleet of Death Stars because you're scared they might learn how to make an easily, easily curable version of Anthrax.

Dumbest. Aliens. Ever.

ED: Seriously though there's never any reason why they don't just load all of them onto a ship and hurl it straight into the nearest star.

The aliens may be dumb, but its basically the true start to the Bashier/O'Brien bromance so I can't hate it.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 06:03

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

Somebody extracted all the latinum! There's nothing here but WORTHLESS GOLD!!

# ? Apr 29, 2014 06:13

Hip-Hoptimus Rhyme: Mar 19, 2009; Gods don't make mistakes

Fister Roboto posted:

Somebody extracted all the latinum! There's nothing here but WORTHLESS GOLD!!

Ferengi know that the only true currency in the galaxy is continuity errors

# ? Apr 29, 2014 06:18

Delsaber: Oct 1, 2013; This may or may not be correct.

Kibayasu posted:

The aliens may be dumb, but its basically the true start to the Bashier/O'Brien bromance so I can't hate it.

Time to nominate episodes for a Star Trek: Best of Bromance DVD collection.

TOS: Amok Time
TNG: Elementary, Dear Data
DS9: Armageddon Game; The Ascent
VOY: uh...
ENT: Shuttlepod One, or just an animated .gif of Trip and Malcolm doing the Butch Cassidy jump out of the Romulan airlock.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 06:22

LEGO Genetics: Oct 8, 2013; She growls as she storms the stadium
A villain mean and rough
And the cops all shake and quiver and quake
as she stabs them with her cuffs

Romulan ale is clearly some sort of bum wine. Nothing natural could have that blue raspberry like color.

You don't eat blue/drink natural blue things.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 06:48

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Hip-Hoptimus Rhyme posted:

I can't think of a society that would enjoy sugar less than Romulans. Vulcans maybe but only because they can't actually enjoy anything.

Cardassians, on the other hand, LOVE sugar. Kanar is basically blackstrap molasses rum, evaporated to the consistency of syrup. Your Cardassian grandmother likely enjoys Kanar Liqueur, which is the aforementioned beverage mixed with Cardassian vole milk, producing a thick, creamy texture.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 06:50

MisterBibs: Jul 17, 2010; dolla dolla
bill y'all; Fun Shoe

Thanks to that watch-a-random-Trek-episode thing, I have a question for this thread:

- Is it possible to dislike an episode where Riker becomes a caveman, Barclay becomes a man-spider, and the phrase pygmy marmoset* is spoken?

Bonus second question:

- If you believe the answer to the question above is 'yes', how does it feel to be wrong? Is it pain? If so, is it a sharp acute pain or broad, dull pain?

* Considered one of the funniest phrases by Ghandi and Jesus, just throwin' that out there.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 07:05

The Dark One: Aug 19, 2005; I'm your friend and I'm not going to just stand by and let you do this!

Brawnfire posted:

Cardassians, on the other hand, LOVE sugar. Kanar is basically blackstrap molasses rum, evaporated to the consistency of syrup. Your Cardassian grandmother likely enjoys Kanar Liqueur, which is the aforementioned beverage mixed with Cardassian vole milk, producing a thick, creamy texture.

I'm pretty sure that sugary water would just naturally turn to caramel at the temperature that Cardassians find comfortable.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 07:22

mp5: Jan 1, 2005; Stroke of luck!

Delsaber posted:

VOY: uh...

Equinox Part 1 wherein Harry Kim refers to his best bud Tom Paris as Turkey Platter

# ? Apr 29, 2014 09:13

MrL_JaKiri: Sep 23, 2003; A bracing glass of carrot juice!

OtherworldlyInvader posted:

Yeah there's no way that stuff was supposed to be anything other than some sort of distilled drink.

I like to imagine its illegal because its methanol based, and the only reason Kirk isn't dead is because Bones has something in his magic medicine bag for it.

You mean he has more booze in the bag?

# ? Apr 29, 2014 10:30

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

Hip-Hoptimus Rhyme posted:

Ferengi know that the only true currency in the galaxy is continuity errors

I noticed this when Quark mentions that nog shaves the latinum. What does that even mean if the latinum is inside a gold container?

# ? Apr 29, 2014 11:49

MikeJF: Dec 20, 2003

Cojawfee posted:

I noticed this when Quark mentions that nog shaves the latinum. What does that even mean if the latinum is inside a gold container?

I assume given there's a lot of references in the series to latinum as a solid thing that gold-pressed latinum is actually some kind of gold/latinum alloy rather than just a container.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 11:54

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Cojawfee posted:

I noticed this when Quark mentions that nog shaves the latinum. What does that even mean if the latinum is inside a gold container?

It's mixed with the gold, or made into an alloy as MikeJF says.
Latium is just a magical material that can not be replicated, but probably still adheres to chemical laws.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 12:15

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

LEGO Genetics posted:

You don't eat/drink natural blue things.

Ahem.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 12:37

BrandonGK: May 6, 2005; Throw it out the airlock.

Blazing Ownager posted:

Watching DS9 here and there while working on some stuff and I have to say the aliens that made those "Harvester" bio-weapons are the dumbest motherfuckers in the entire franchise. Pakleds are smarter than these guys.

You forgot the best part. The dumb aliens are still committed to killing O'Brien and Bashier even after Sisko, and by extension Starfleet, have already gotten to wise them. Yep, these aliens are willing to commit an unambiguous, unprovoked act of aggression against a goddamn superpower over a bioweapon that's less scarier than the common flu.

Best case scenario is that the Federation cuts off diplomatic ties and the aliens are left to fend for themselves in a galaxy full of agressive, expansionist powers that are certainly armed with weapons a thousand times more destructive than these "Harvesters." Worst case scenario is all war with a Fleet of a thousand starships a hundred years more advanced than a vessel that could single-handedly glass the entire surface of a planet.

BrandonGK fucked around with this message at 13:27 on Apr 29, 2014

# ? Apr 29, 2014 13:25

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Ahem.

Also:

# ? Apr 29, 2014 13:38

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

That's a lot of Pepsi Blue.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 13:54

Bicyclops: Aug 27, 2004

I started Enterprise. It has its share of problems already, certainly, but after watching two straight seasons of Voyager, it seems like the greatest thing ever made. The production value alone definitely makes it feel very different.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 14:11

CharlieWhiskey: Aug 18, 2005; everything, all the time

this is the world

Crosspost from PYF Funny pics:

Honestly, the most offputting thing to me is the smiling Spock.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 15:11

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

A gold Enterprise the size of the Death Star?

Fascinating.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 15:12

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

The Dark One posted:

I'm pretty sure that sugary water would just naturally turn to caramel at the temperature that Cardassians find comfortable.

So Cardassians enjoy a brisk 170 celsius? I guess that "armor" is actually a torso-oven. Makes sense, like a snake with a heat-lamp suit.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 16:14

primaltrash: Feb 11, 2008; (Thought-ful Croak)

http://twitter.com/CaseyPBiggs/status/330553907803734016

Damar posted:

If you want to have seconds, cut your seconds in half, so you can have thirds too. I got that lil trick from @Jonathan_Frakes. ATB, Casey

# ? Apr 29, 2014 16:17

Subyng: May 4, 2013

Subyng posted:

I'm looking for a picture...

Found it.

From this deviantart page

http://thundercake.deviantart.com/art/Star-Trek-redesigns-115189820

# ? Apr 29, 2014 17:39

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

CharlieWhiskey posted:

Crosspost from PYF Funny pics:

Honestly, the most offputting thing to me is the smiling Spock.

Really? Not the name Winkie Pratney?

# ? Apr 29, 2014 17:55

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

Delsaber posted:

Time to nominate episodes for a Star Trek: Best of Bromance DVD collection.

TOS: Amok Time
TNG: Elementary, Dear Data
DS9: Armageddon Game; The Ascent
VOY: uh...
ENT: Shuttlepod One, or just an animated .gif of Trip and Malcolm doing the Butch Cassidy jump out of the Romulan airlock.

"Bride of Chaotica!" would be a good candidate, I think.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 18:02

MisterBibs: Jul 17, 2010; dolla dolla
bill y'all; Fun Shoe

From a book summary (there's not much out there):

quote:

'Trust the Force, Luke!'

Wouldn't it be wonderful
If there really was a Force?
Something of great and awesome power
Available to anyone anywhere at any time!
Who would pay the price to learn of its ways and surrender to its direction?

Long, long ago, of a galaxy not far away,
It was written
'The Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by Force'

Will you dare to lay aside your limits
And trust your life and destiny to the wisdom that holds together the stars?

'May the Force be with you.'

# ? Apr 29, 2014 18:06

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

After having pecked around the edges of Voyager with a watchlist, I'm watching Bride of Chaotica for the first time.

I think this may be the first time the shitter has been directly referenced in one of the shows, and a shortage of functioning shitters is apparently going to be a plot point.

And Neelix intimated that there's something particularly messed up with Bollians that the shitter shortage will exacerbate. Bolians have like IBS or something now, that's canon.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 18:42

SombreroAgnew: Sep 22, 2004; unlimited rice pudding

Otisburg posted:

After having pecked around the edges of Voyager with a watchlist, I'm watching Bride of Chaotica for the first time.

I think this may be the first time the shitter has been directly referenced in one of the shows, and a shortage of functioning shitters is apparently going to be a plot point.

And Neelix intimated that there's something particularly messed up with Bollians that the shitter shortage will exacerbate. Bolians have like IBS or something now, that's canon.

Bolians are like more acidic than your average humanoid. There was another episode where the Doctor was advising against getting Bolian acid jizz up in you.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 18:53

CharlieWhiskey: Aug 18, 2005; everything, all the time

this is the world

Trickjaw posted:

Really? Not the name Winkie Pratney?

No, but that does sound like a nickname Bashir had for his dick in medical school.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 19:04

Islam is the Lite Rock FM: Jul 27, 2007; by exmarx

LEGO Genetics posted:

Romulan ale is clearly some sort of bum wine. Nothing natural could have that blue raspberry like color.

You don't eat blue/drink natural blue things.

This?

# ? Apr 29, 2014 21:21

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

DemeaninDemon posted:

This?

Mad Dog is in no way, shape, or form natural.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 22:02

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

Subyng posted:

Found it.

From this deviantart page

http://thundercake.deviantart.com/art/Star-Trek-redesigns-115189820

That's pretty cool except the cardassian doesn't look nearly duplicitous enough.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 22:30

Stairs: Oct 13, 2004

Oh my God Casey Biggs is honored that I made a nail polish inspired by him. And he named it. Oh my God this is better than the time Michael Moore DMed me.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 22:41

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

Stairs posted:

Oh my God Casey Biggs is honored that I made a nail polish inspired by him. And he named it. Oh my God this is better than the time Michael Moore DMed me.

huh?

# ? Apr 29, 2014 22:48

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

MikeJF posted:

I assume given there's a lot of references in the series to latinum as a solid thing that gold-pressed latinum is actually some kind of gold/latinum alloy rather than just a container.

Latinum is a liquid. It is stored within a container of gold. As shown in the episode Who Mourns for Morn.

# ? Apr 29, 2014 22:57

MrL_JaKiri: Sep 23, 2003; A bracing glass of carrot juice!

Cojawfee posted:

Latinum is a liquid. It is stored within a container of gold. As shown in the episode Who Mourns for Morn.

But things can also be made of solid latinum, be plated in latinum, gold is valuable but also worthless, gold pressed latinum can be meaningfully shaved and it's all just inconsistent.

Also gold doesn't just break into powder so basically don't get worried about what it physically is other than "money that you can't replicate".

# ? Apr 29, 2014 23:13

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 20:35

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

MrL_JaKiri posted:

But things can also be made of solid latinum, be plated in latinum, gold is valuable but also worthless, gold pressed latinum can be meaningfully shaved and it's all just inconsistent.

Also gold doesn't just break into powder so basically don't get worried about what it physically is other than "money that you can't replicate".

Also a single bar of the stuff is apparently a significant amount of money (ie. more than you'd expect someone to have on them - in terms of wallet cash and not just the fact it's a really inconvenient bar).

# ? Apr 29, 2014 23:22

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