Febreeze posted:

The Steam roller treads are a cool idea, though I wonder if straight up and down was the best placement. How to they look on the shoulders or horizontally?

Darth Brooks posted:

Original.


I think if there's any alternate to just straight up and down it would be the second diagonal.

Darth Brooks posted:

Original.


I think if there's any alternate to just straight up and down it would be the second diagonal.

Rodrigo Diaz posted:

Horizontal one makes it looks like he has a zipper and there's a smaller him inside

Chimeric posted:

Chimeric posted:

Chimeric posted:

Chimeric posted:

Febreeze posted:

Should have been a hamster inside

Chimeric posted:

Chimeric posted:

Chimeric posted:

EVGA Longoria posted:

I'd like to propose (and bankroll) the next Farthouse contest:

Fat Dudes doing Football Things

Football is great. Fat Dudes playing Football are The Best. Nothing brings a smile to a football fan's face like a fat dude playing football.

Let's celebrate this with fat dude football projects. No restrictions on the type of media (song lyrics, video, ms paint, photoshop, something even better?????). Just celebrate fat dudes doing football things.

3 Winners will receive the forums certificate of their choice.

Chimeric posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vST6hVRj2A

The Wreck of the Jared Lorenzen

The legend lives on from the Wildcats on down
Of the quarterback called 'Hefty Lefty'
The big man, it's said, never gives up his bread
When the skies of September turn gloomy
Pregame fried dough, twenty-six thousand tons more
Than Jared Lorenzen weighed empty
That QB, he chewed through nine courses of food
When the games of September came early

The man was the pride of the N-Y-G side
Coming undrafted from U of Kentucky
As the big freighters go, he was bigger than most
With a coach and good supper well seasoned
A couple of plays and a Super Bowl ring
And he left fully loaded for Arena
He Ate Me had signed with the Horsemen in time
But eight short months later they folded


I don't know if I can keep going, it's more of a shipwreck than the actual shipwreck. Except for getting a ring thanks to 18-1

effectual posted:

Oh my god, Becky. Look at his arm! It's so big! He looks like one of those rap guy's friends. Who understands those rap guys? They only talk to him because he looks like a total star. I mean, his arm, it's just so big. I can't believe it's so buff and like out there, I mean pssh, gross! Look, he's just so black!

I LIKE BIG QUARTERBACKS AND I CANNOT LIE!
You other pundits can't deny.
That when a QB walks in with an 4.1 40 dash
And a spiral in your face
You get sprung,
wanna grab your clipboard
'Cause you notice that bicep was stuffed
Deep in the jersey he's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh heisman, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that arm you got makes me so hyper
Ooh, mobile risk-taker
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, wow me, wow me
'Cause you ain't a 3rd-rounder
I've seen them playin'
To hell with tradin' (down)
He's sweat, wet,
Got it throwin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' dink'n'dunk's the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
He gotta unleash the dragon
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your QB got the arm? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to go deep! (Go deep!) Go deep! (Go deep!) Go deep! (Go deep!)
Throw that dragon deep!
QB got arm!

Alouicious posted:

Mike Tolbert: The Football Drivin' Man

Now Mike Tolbert was a mighty man, yes sir. He was drafted a fullback in San Diego but was freed after the contract expired. He went to work as a drive-maker for the Carolina Panthers, don't ya know. And Mike Tolbert was the fattest, the most powerful man running the field.

Mike Tolbert, he would spend his day's hitting holes by slammin his thick fat body into defenders with his faithful linemen pryin open the hole, moving the chains after each mighty blow. There was no one who could match him, though many tried.

Well, the new drive was moving along right quick, thanks in no little part to the mighty Mike Tolbert. But looming right smack in its path was a mighty enemy - the Big Front Four. Now the big bosses at the Carolina Panthers decided that they couldn't go around the 6' 4" and 350 pound men. No sir, the men of the Panthers were going to go through it - smashing right into the heart of the defense.

A thousand guards would be called for holding before the great enemy was conquered. It took fifteen long plays, and before it was done the turf inside the stadium was filled with big, gnarley divots. The new gaps were filled with linebackers and safeties. Ya couldn't see no-how and could hardly walk. But Mike Tolbert, he worked tirelessly, pounding with his 245 pound body, and going 6 to 8 yards in one draw play. No one else could match him.

Then one day a draft scout came along to the camp. He had a Penn State running-back and claimed it could out-run any man. Well, they set up a contest then and there between Mike Tolbert and that there back. The coach ran that newfangled running-back. Mike Tolbert, he just threw down out 245 pound body, football in hand. They ran and ran, dirt rising everywhere. The players were howling and cheering. At the end of 15 plays, Mike Tolbert had run through twelve tackles - a total of 52 yards, while the Penn State back had only broken one tackle for 21 yards..

Mike Tolbert held up his hands in triumph! The players shouted and cheered. The noise was so loud, it took a moment for the men to realize that Mike Tolbert was tottering. Exhausted, the mighty man crashed to the ground, the ball rolling from his grasp. The crowd went silent as the trainers rushed to his side. But it was too late. A blood vessel had burst in his brain. The greatest runner on the Carolina Panthers was dead.

Some folks say that Mike Tolbert's likeness is carved right into the turf inside Bank of America Stadium. And if you walk to the edge of the turf of field tunnel, sometimes you can hear the sound of a big fat fullback pounding their way to victory over the defense.

Rasczak posted:

EVGA Longoria posted:

All 4 of you, let me know what type of certificate you want.

Chimeric posted:

Awesome, thanks EVGA . Custom Title would be great; I like my avatar but the little white corners on it have bothered me since I first noticed them and I'd love to have a version where those are transparent. (side note: I don't actually know how to make those transparent and if somebody could help me out with that they'd have my undying gratitude)

Chimeric posted:

Awesome, thanks EVGA . Custom Title would be great; I like my avatar but the little white corners on it have bothered me since I first noticed them and I'd love to have a version where those are transparent. (side note: I don't actually know how to make those transparent and if somebody could help me out with that they'd have my undying gratitude)

Febreeze posted:

It's the 10th anniversary of the 2004 NFL draft. You know what that means.

A story about Rivers in 3 acts. Act 1:

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/cry-me-a-rivers-reunion-part-1/

Febreeze posted:

It's the 10th anniversary of the 2004 NFL draft. You know what that means.

A story about Rivers in 3 acts. Act 1:

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/cry-me-a-rivers-reunion-part-1/

EVGA Longoria posted:

All 4 of you, let me know what type of certificate you want.

EVGA Longoria posted:

All 4 of you, let me know what type of certificate you want.

Chimeric posted:

Awesome, thanks EVGA . Custom Title would be great; I like my avatar but the little white corners on it have bothered me since I first noticed them and I'd love to have a version where those are transparent. (side note: I don't actually know how to make those transparent and if somebody could help me out with that they'd have my undying gratitude)

JPrime posted:

That Schaub is the best. 2nd best, actually. Best Schaub is "holding-up-flowers-to-a-hanging-Rivers" Schaub.

No Safe Word posted:

Alouicious posted:

I'd take a new custom title cert, but I don't have plat so you'd need to email it to me

EMAIL
alouiciouskf@gmail.com

Rasczak posted:

Thanks! I'll take No Ads I guess, I think I have everything else.

effectual posted:

Plat might be nice, I could send a pm once in a while.

geombear2 at gmail

effectual posted:

Haha, you've got to see this. Linked for context

http://seattletimes.com/ABPub/zoom/html/2023546328.html

Rasczak posted:

EVGA Longoria posted:

Thank you everyone for participating, and brightening the off season just a little bit with some fat dudes doing football things.