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Fart Sandwiches posted:How loving stupid do you have to be to not figure out how to change backgrounds? This is some meta-idiot story stuff. well, he was in the military so....
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May 9, 2014 16:07
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Fart Sandwiches posted:How loving stupid do you have to be to not figure out how to change backgrounds? This is some meta-idiot story stuff. We had some bricks in our platoon. Kids who couldn't always remember the difference between making ready on an M2 and a Mk19, which resulted in some spectacular ND's both CONUS and OCONUS.. Like the one time a kid sent the bolt on the Mk19 forward a second time while loading at the clearing berm as we were about to depart and discharged an HEDP round into a warehouse on the Seabee's compound. Too short of a flight for it to arm and detonate but we never found it. Made for an interesting day.
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May 9, 2014 16:09
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 Did I do it right? (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 9, 2014 16:18
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Fart Sandwiches posted:How loving stupid do you have to be to not figure out how to change backgrounds? This is some meta-idiot story stuff. Think how lost he'd be if he had an android.
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May 9, 2014 21:44
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I know I'm not military but I thought you guys would really appreciate this bit of utter stupidity from a cadet on my last ship: oval office jumped over the railings and loving ran on the main shaft while it was spinning.
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May 11, 2014 14:34
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Two Finger posted:oval office jumped over the railings and loving ran on the main shaft while it was spinning. Since this is a maritime story I'm going to assume this is a term for refusing the captain's dick.
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May 11, 2014 15:12
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Two Finger posted:I know I'm not military but I thought you guys would really appreciate this bit of utter stupidity from a cadet on my last ship: Fairly cool way to kill yourself imo
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May 11, 2014 17:21
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so like this kinda thing, right? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE-Mt3_KQmg
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May 11, 2014 20:36
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LARD LORD posted:so like this kinda thing, right? Yep. Would have made one hell of a mess if he'd slipped.
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May 11, 2014 21:06
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you mean extra grease
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May 11, 2014 22:02
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Put that on his posthumous award. Lubricated main propeller shaft for six months.
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May 11, 2014 22:03
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I coulda sworn I knew someone with a story of a nub getting hazed by being duck-taped to the shaft, with predictable results. There's more clearance so simple interference isn't an issue. That's one of those stories everyone has a third-hand version of.
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May 12, 2014 01:56
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Snowdens Secret posted:I coulda sworn I knew someone with a story of a nub getting hazed by being duck-taped to the shaft, with predictable results. There's more clearance so simple interference isn't an issue. That's one of those stories everyone has a third-hand version of. i've heard of this while in port which is obviously ok as far as hazing goes!!
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May 12, 2014 01:57
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Hazing owns
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May 12, 2014 04:30
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What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end.
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May 12, 2014 04:37
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end. might be nypd
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May 12, 2014 04:42
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end. enlisting?
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May 12, 2014 04:56
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end. "Tuesday".
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May 12, 2014 04:58
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end. MEPS
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May 12, 2014 06:28
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end. SOP
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May 12, 2014 21:19
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end.
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May 12, 2014 21:21
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end. cleaning stations
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May 12, 2014 21:40
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end. ORSE Wait, no. There's no grease on that stick.
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May 12, 2014 21:50
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Cojawfee posted:What's that thing in the navy where they grease up a broomstick and shove it up your rear end.
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May 13, 2014 14:48
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Mad Dragon posted:ORSE And you wish it was only a broomstick. The shaft is aft, indeed
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May 13, 2014 15:52
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I heard someone use the term "human weapons system" to unironically refer to people in the Air Force multiple times
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May 21, 2014 01:22
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Does that make security force dogs "canine weapons systems"? 
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May 21, 2014 01:26
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Prop Wash posted:I heard someone use the term "human weapons system" to unironically refer to people in the Air Force multiple times Weaponized herpes.
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May 21, 2014 03:43
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Prop Wash posted:I heard someone use the term "human weapons system" to unironically refer to people in the Air Force multiple times Fun fact: that person was in my flight. he was actually an alright dude, just your stereotypical head in the clouds doc that was really smart but didn't do the best job of expressing his ideas in normal-people speak Another fun fact: we actually physically prevented him from getting up and asking a question during that last "issues panel" or whatever. You're welcome.
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May 21, 2014 05:12
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iyaayas01 posted:Fun fact: that person was in my flight. Oh man gently caress youuuu I had money riding on that guy standing up and asking one last astonishingly bad question  we just thought he finally came to his senses! Still if I could have documented that one question he asked to the colonel panel it would be perfect for this thread. "I'll ask again..."Also soz we couldn't do BBQ, I thought I'd have a lot of free time at maxwell but I ended up busy basically the whole time. Not with class work so much as with getting drunk with my drinking club.
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May 22, 2014 03:45
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Wrong thread, whoops. Looks like I'm the idiot.
Cojawfee fucked around with this message at 04:39 on May 22, 2014 |
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May 22, 2014 03:49
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Prop Wash posted:Oh man gently caress youuuu I had money riding on that guy standing up and asking one last astonishingly bad question We have a guy in my unit that asks this kinda poo poo every goddamn class/brief/whatever. It's gotten to the point they just tell him to see the instructor offline immediately when he raises his hand, and dismiss the room otherwise. He's a 10 year PV2 (demoted), that was hot-potatoed around Afghanistan; passed off to one of our other companies up in Bagram while we were in Kandahar. He hosed up so bad that he went from a FOB, back to BAF, down to KAF, back to BAF, and sent home in a 3 month period. He missed movement out of Kyrgyzstan, and his homeward-bound flight twice. He talks like he has knowledge all the goddamn time around the new guys, until they realize he's completely full of poo poo and leave him mid-sentence. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 20:25 on May 22, 2014 |
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May 22, 2014 20:23
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Long time listener, first time caller. Here's an idiot with OpSec. My wife's cousin is a special forces dude with one of the branches. My mother in law is trying to send a message to me on facebook, but can't figure it out. So she post this on her (public) Facebook wall and tags me in it.  I'm going to paraphrase: "Tag: canyoneer What are you doing for Memorial Day weekend? [SPECIAL FORCES GUY'S NAME] just got back from [COUNTRY] and is doing training at [NEARBY BASE] for the next two weeks before he goes back. Aunt and Uncle So-and-so are going to drive down to visit him and we want to invite you all to join us!" I was puzzled why she said that he had just gotten back from [COUNTRY], as the country in question is a nation that is not an ally of the US, not a NATO member nation, and does not have any US military installations.
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May 23, 2014 21:47
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canyoneer posted:Long time listener, first time caller. Here's an idiot with OpSec. Of all the possible explanations, the least likely one is this: He was doing special forces poo poo in that country.
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May 23, 2014 21:53
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Victor Vermis posted:Of all the possible explanations, the most likely one is this: He isn't SOF and probably isn't even in the military
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May 23, 2014 21:56
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canyoneer posted:Long time listener, first time caller. Here's an idiot with OpSec. IDR is coming home!!!
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May 23, 2014 22:43
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This team leader in my platoon told us about an amazing 240 gunner ND turned running gun into a DFAC when they were returning from a mission, He shot a good 50 rounds into the loving thing before he broke the feed. He isnt with the Army anymore sadly.
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May 24, 2014 15:29
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How often do runaway guns even happen? I mean obviously it can happen on an open bolt weapon, but that's kinda terrifying.
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May 24, 2014 16:12
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One of the junior officers in my old unit progressed from "Hey guys, check out this great idea I had: clean your ears while taking a dump!" to some weird pavlovian conditioning stage where he couldn't poo poo without something in his ear. We (The other JOs) used to prove this to the newer, incredulous, officers by having them steal his huge stash of q-tips. We'd then watch as he didn't go to the can for a few days, until he'd finally melt down and hop around the base with the locked knees of barely-holding-it-in, yelling and begging people for a q-tip. All my good army stories are scatological .
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May 24, 2014 16:41
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DoktorLoken posted:How often do runaway guns even happen? I mean obviously it can happen on an open bolt weapon, but that's kinda terrifying. Depends on how often an armorer inspects/replaces the sear assembly.
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May 24, 2014 16:58
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