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nucleicmaxid posted:Right no. I'm not defending it, merely explaining the reasoning behind it, even if it's faulty. I, personally, cannot wait until the chip thing the the UK has becomes prevalent over here. October of 2015, according to this article.
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May 28, 2014 18:51
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silencekit posted:This one fits into that "student checkmates teacher because teachers are arrogant and useless" mold. That girl? Albert Einstein
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May 28, 2014 18:56
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But the girl is still dumb and whales don't swallow people.
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May 28, 2014 19:04
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One swallowed Jonah.
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May 28, 2014 19:06
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Whales can't loving swallow people.
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May 28, 2014 19:25
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Kajeesus posted:Whales can't loving swallow people. Hey man, have you ever read a little book called the bible 
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May 28, 2014 19:26
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Kajeesus posted:Whales can't loving swallow people. http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/could-a-whale-accidentally-swallow-you-it-is-possible-26353362/?no-ist CHECKMATE, ATHIEST.
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May 28, 2014 19:30
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And then Bloodnose slammed down his money without missing a beat and turned bright red and ran out of the thread.
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May 28, 2014 20:15
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The bible doesn't even say it was a whale. It says it was a big fish, so gently caress her.
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May 28, 2014 20:17
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JK! posted:The bible doesn't even say it was a whale. It says it was a big fish, so gently caress her. Herman Melville also sperged out about how whales are fish, not mammals. So the little girl in the story was probably either Herman Melville, Albert Einstein, or God Himself.
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May 28, 2014 21:12
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Bloodnose posted:My father writes CHECK PHOTO ID in the signature box on all his cards because he's paranoid about identity theft. These things happen I guess. when I was working retail, at least half of the people who wrote CHECK ID on the backs of their credit cards would get really offended if you actually asked to see their ID
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May 28, 2014 22:20
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Well, finally encountered a story in my life that belongs herequote:Overheard at a grocery by someone waiting in line (you already know this is fake, drat that was fast) behind a woman speaking on her cellphone in another language. Ahead of her was a white man. After the woman hangs up, he speaks up. And that Navajo woman was Albert Einstein. Always with the weird stilted language that nobody would ever naturally say. What is it with STDH, there's a whole code to it. And the guy is nice enough to wait for her to finish her call before berating her. (Guess that might actually be American) But if it was on a cellphone, couldn't she be like talking to her grandma who does live in Mexico or something? It just doesn't really make sense as something to be offended by, even if you're that kinda person, but I guess I'm massively overanalyzing what never had much thought put into it in the first place. silencekit posted:This one fits into that "student checkmates teacher because teachers are arrogant and useless" mold. Written in a voice that no newspaper has ever used. Zaphod42 has a new favorite as of 22:56 on May 28, 2014 |
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May 28, 2014 22:53
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silencekit posted:This one fits into that "student checkmates teacher because teachers are arrogant and useless" mold. This is another one of those "obviously meant to be a cute joke" things, guys. Nobody thinks this happened.
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May 29, 2014 01:34
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It's pretty much a dad joke for the Bible study crowd.
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May 29, 2014 03:33
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Seventh Arrow posted:It's pretty much a dad joke for the Bible study crowd. gently caress you, my dad jokes are awesome 
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May 29, 2014 04:30
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Bloodnose posted:My father writes CHECK PHOTO ID in the signature box on all his cards because he's paranoid about identity theft. These things happen I guess. My old boss did this, except then he would give me his card to go buy stuff for jobs.
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May 29, 2014 04:53
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 Fun fact: Your credit card is not valid until signed. If a retailer is presented with an unsigned credit card, the card issuer requires the retailer to check the card against a customer's photo ID and have the customer sign in their presence.If anything but their signature is written on that line, the card is invalid. http://www.mastercard.com/us/merchant/pdf/Unsigned_Credit_Cards-(Global).pdf There's a PDF from Mastercard, and all the major credit card providers have similar rules. Retailers are (sort of) not supposed to require photo identification to process a transaction with a valid, signed credit card. Armed with this knowledge and smugness, you can be the protagonist of a real life STDH.txt story as you explain to the bored teenager that you don't really have to show your photo ID, but I guess I will.
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May 29, 2014 06:42
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canyoneer posted:
I had a friend who actually did get in an enormous fight with another cashier at the store where she worked over this. She is SUPER PEDANTIC, though, and when she told me the story it ended with her, tumblr-style, "shaking and crying", so... grain of salt, I guess. I've worked retail and it amazes me how many people think it's my responsibility to prevent credit card fraud. I do not get paid enough to care about that poo poo.
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May 30, 2014 01:27
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Evelyn Nesbit posted:I've worked retail and it amazes me how many people think it's my responsibility to prevent credit card fraud. I do not get paid enough to care about that poo poo. On the flip side, I had people literally storm out of the store in a huff when we asked for their IDs for credit card purchases.
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May 30, 2014 04:04
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InediblePenguin posted:when I was working retail, at least half of the people who wrote CHECK ID on the backs of their credit cards would get really offended if you actually asked to see their ID Yeah this was always the worst. Ma'am would you mind showing me some ID, your card says HUFF GROAN UGH FINE JESUS CHRIST IM JUST TRYING TO BUY A COFFEE
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May 30, 2014 05:28
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I get the opposite end of the spectrum, where somehow every customer I get flips out if I don't cross-reference the credit card signature against three separate forms of identification.
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May 30, 2014 19:19
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My store has you check the last four numbers of the printed account number against what the mag strip tells the register the number is, as I guess they've decided the biggest threat in terms of credit fraud is swiping numbers using an RFID scanner or getting them from gas pumps then putting it on a dummy card with your name on it. I used to ask people to read me the numbers on their card, but 80% of people would go for the CID number on the back of cards and just waste time, so now I just ask to see their card after they swipe it and do it myself. The point of this is that people get offended at the notion of me just looking at the front of their card, and it makes me glad we don't have to ask for ID.
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May 30, 2014 19:35
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If someone uses their card, I ask for ID. Then I look from ID to card to person, card to person to id, scrutinize signatures to be sure they match, person to card, to ID, person to ID to card, recheck signatures, then move my head in a triangular shape for 30 seconds from ID to card to person. My eyes are suspicious during this entire process. Then I call a manager.
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May 30, 2014 19:40
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oldpainless posted:Then I call a manager. Then everyone stands up and applauds, and the customer, red-faced and indignant, storms out of the store.
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May 30, 2014 21:49
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oldpainless posted:If someone uses their card, I ask for ID. Then I look from ID to card to person, card to person to id, scrutinize signatures to be sure they match, person to card, to ID, person to ID to card, recheck signatures, then move my head in a triangular shape for 30 seconds from ID to card to person. My eyes are suspicious during this entire process. 
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May 30, 2014 22:11
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To end credit card chat I have this toughguy.txt revenge fantasy from an expat forumquote:I spent about a minute beating a man into submission on the sidewalk today- in full-view of an onlooking crowd in Tianhe Guangzhou.
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May 31, 2014 00:45
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Farmland Park posted:To end credit card chat I have this toughguy.txt revenge fantasy from an expat forum I love how the worst offense in his opinion is that the other guy doesn't speak English as his first language
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May 31, 2014 00:56
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Farmland Park posted:To end credit card chat I have this toughguy.txt revenge fantasy from an expat forum All those stories start as pretty believable, but then the protagonists becomes a sex guru superman against all odds all of a sudden. I bet this guy was hit, humiliated (IN BROKEN ENGLISH) and couldn't do anything about it. The story is considerably unusual not to share, but too shameful to tell unaltered.
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May 31, 2014 01:11
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Paladinus posted:All those stories start as pretty believable, but then the protagonists becomes a sex guru superman against all odds all of a sudden. I bet this guy was hit, humiliated (IN BROKEN ENGLISH) and couldn't do anything about it. The story is considerably unusual not to share, but too shameful to tell unaltered. I've also noticed a tendency in bullshit stories like this to finish with a question. As if they were just sharing a totally happened story for the purposes of starting a conversation. Which is basically an invitation for others to share their fantasies and have a circle jerk conversation that 'yes, this all absolutely happened'.
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May 31, 2014 01:27
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I admit that I laughed at this, but I know it isn't real: http://www.tickld.com/x/i-wish-this-man-was-my-father-hes-hilarious (Safe for work)
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May 31, 2014 03:23
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Some of the stuff David Thorne is obviously made up, but some of it is real. For instance, I'm pretty sure that the email exchange with the Australian authorities threatening to shut down his website actually took place (for those who don't visit his website, he posted a joke ad for a "business investment opportunity"---giving him $5150 to buy drugs and a cool briefcase to sell them out of). I believe some of the snarky email exchanges take place, but that obviously the intraoffice shenanigans are either fake or extremely exaggerated. But I could be completely wrong about any of them being real, I suppose. While we're on that topic, here's an unrelated email exchange that may well be STDH (though I want to believe it did happen): "dude has a whole website of these posted:Original ad:
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May 31, 2014 03:48
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I've seen that hidden weapons one before. I choose to believe it's true as it's much funnier that way
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May 31, 2014 10:27
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Saw this poo poo in my facebook feed today.
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May 31, 2014 15:10
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Noyemi K posted:Saw this poo poo in my facebook feed today.
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May 31, 2014 15:50
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trickybiscuits posted:What's unbelievable about that? The first 15 or so paragraphs.
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May 31, 2014 15:57
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trickybiscuits posted:What's unbelievable about that? Just about everything. And the person who posted this has a habit of posting this kind of STDH stories found on poo poo like 9gag (this was found on tickld or whatever the gently caress it was called).
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May 31, 2014 16:23
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Farmland Park posted:To end credit card chat I have this toughguy.txt revenge fantasy from an expat forum Wait...how do you say "gently caress you" in broken English?
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May 31, 2014 20:39
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Marley Wants More posted:Wait...how do you say "gently caress you" in broken English? Probably in some stereotyped "china man" accent.
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May 31, 2014 20:53
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I thought broken English was something like... ***ALERT**NOT A RACIST**FOR DEMONSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY**REPEAT**NOT A RACIST*** ...saying "Me go store now" instead of "I'm going to go to the store now". I hate it when poo poo that didn't happen sounds like poo poo that didn't happen.
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May 31, 2014 22:04
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Broken English is what it sounds like when someone has only a basic level of knowledge of the language. They can express ideas but do not follow grammar or syntax rule. It happens at some point when you're trying to learn a language, there's nothing racist about it unless you're stereotyping that everyone from X speaks like that. I spoke broken English when I was 10, I speak broken Spanish now. I run into a heck of a lot of people who speak broken French. I'm sure there's a more politically correct way to say it ("their English isn't very good", "he spoke English with difficulty", whatever) but it's a short and convenient way of putting it. What that guy meant was probably "thickly accented", because it's hard to gently caress up "gently caress you" otherwise.
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May 31, 2014 22:11
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