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Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
The AFC:C never existed.

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whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet

Thaddius the Large posted:

If we could get the Rifftrax guys to cover a Jags game, maybe against the Browns, it'd all be worth it.

This is basically how I'm able to get through Portland Thunder games

(P.S. You should totally come to one to share in the hilarity/inanity)

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

nrr posted:

Ehud: Kissing Chris Berman

I don't care if I'm too late

This can my the second site in my eventual blog empire.

I'm coming for you, SB Nation.

cucka
Nov 4, 2009

TOUCHDOWN DETROIT LIONS
Sorry about all
the bad posting.
This might seem a bizarre request but are any TFF goons fluent in Icelandic? Had an idea for a rewrite, but it's very involved and based on an Icelandic Post-Rock band.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJV-u_Tt2nk

At least I think they're from Iceland. I kinda had to deduce that fact.

Thermos H Christ
Sep 6, 2007

WINNINGEST BEVO

cucka posted:

This might seem a bizarre request but are any TFF goons fluent in Icelandic? Had an idea for a rewrite, but it's very involved and based on an Icelandic Post-Rock band.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJV-u_Tt2nk

At least I think they're from Iceland. I kinda had to deduce that fact.

I'm like 99% sure Sigur Ros sings in a made-up language. That used to be their gimmick at least, maybe that's changed.

cucka
Nov 4, 2009

TOUCHDOWN DETROIT LIONS
Sorry about all
the bad posting.

Thermos H Christ posted:

I'm like 99% sure Sigur Ros sings in a made-up language. That used to be their gimmick at least, maybe that's changed.

Supposedly, they do some songs in Icelandic. The video linked purports to have a translation. It's a ridiculous idea either way.

E: reading the link, that's probable. That was what I initially assumed, but the linked video claimed to be a translation.

E: This is for Jamarcus, wherever in Canada you are


I packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be cut by ten
I miss starting so much I hate the bench
It's lonely in my place
In such a pointless flight

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till I start and I do not really mind
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm the fattest man
Fattest man burning out his fuse in 10 or so

Bars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact they're drunk as hell
And there's no one there to card them if you cared
And all this sobriety I don't understand.
I'm drunk 7 days a week.
The fattest man, the fattest man

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till I start and I do not really mind
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm the fattest man
Fattest man burning out his fuse in 10 or so

E2: I think it's gonna be a long long time til he starts.

cucka fucked around with this message at 13:27 on Jun 2, 2014

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

PrinceRandom posted:

I'd say that Houston/Tennessee are rivals but maybe the Oilers leaving is starting to cool off.

Now that Bud Adams is dead and buried yeah kinda.

gently caress that guy.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

sweet thursday posted:

Quarter-back: Football Consequences

Josh Freeman who was Eli Manning's backup was one day in an office getting cut from the Giants. He got an email from his agent that said that canadians and redblacks had health care and aksed him for help so he went.

Josh Freeman got his helmet off and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the stadium where he left his hors and normal people close because he was in his football lab coat. Josh Freeman got on his horseback and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and play football quarterback" so he had to go.

Josh Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept riding down the road and made sure there was no line backers around because he ddint have playbook.

The canadian trees were nice and the plants were singing and the geese and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for Josh Freemans quest to help the Redblacks where they are. Josh Freeman looked around the canada and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my team to defeat the roughrider".

Josh Freeman was late so he had to ride really fast. A line backer was hiden near by so when Josh Freeman went by the defense came and wanted to give him a sack. Here Josh Freeman saw the first monster because the line back was posessed and had staph.

"I cant give you my football linebacker" Josh Freeman said

"Why not?" said the mrsa lienbacker back to Josh Freeman.

"Because you are headcrab zombie" so Josh Freeman throw the defence in the head with the football and ride away thinking "my canadians are in trouble there" and went faster.

Josh Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Henry Burris needed him where he was. Josh Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ottawa" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so Josh Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Henry so he went faster again.

Josh Freeman rode in and did another flip n jumped off his horseback and the horse took out some mounties in front of Josh Freeman. Josh Freeman smiled and walked fast. Josh Freeman then looked on the ground and found football so he pickd it up and threw fast at politicians in front of a house.

Josh Freeman said "MPs leave this place" and the MPs said "but this is our job" and Josh Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt work there anymore because they were NDP so he blew up the house and killed the left so they were at piece.

Then Josh Freeman herd another scream from his backup so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ottawa was nothing like New York there was no drunks singing and the pants weren't dead and teh streets was messy and bloody from poutine.

When Josh Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his backup Henry Burris fightin the roughrider and Henry said "Josh Freeman! Over here!" so Josh Freeman went there to where Henry burris was fighting. Josh Freeman fired his football from the arm really fast and the stitches went and shot the roughrider in the eyes and the roughrider couldnt see.

Henry Burris said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and slapped the roughrider in the face and the roughrider fell. Josh Freeman said "thanks i could help, backup" and Henry Burris said "you should come here last year" and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because Josh Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BACKUP!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Henry Burris looked up and said "NOO! Josh Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and Josh Freeman got sacked by the Saskatchwen Defense.

Josh Freeman loked back and saw Henry get steppd on by the roughrider and he was mad and angry.

"I'll get you ba-" and then Josh Freeman head was step on by cleats that say "Grey Cup Champions"

The End.



This was three or four pages ago and I do not give a gently caress because it's amazing

Thaddius the Large
Jul 5, 2006

It's in the five-hole!

whypick1 posted:

This is basically how I'm able to get through Portland Thunder games

(P.S. You should totally come to one to share in the hilarity/inanity)

Definitely on my to-do list, we've been in the middle of a move to a new place, which is ten kinds of fun with a 2 year old running around, and my wife and I both working full time. Still, it'd make for a good Portland goon meet, I'll shoot you a PM if I get my poo poo together.

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
The Thunder game I went to with Whypick1 was entertaining enough mostly because we spent the whole time making fun of how bad it was. It would be a good PDX football goon meet because the game can distract us from how awkward we all are.

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747

sweet thursday posted:

Quarter-back: Football Consequences




This is wonderful. :golfclap:

got any sevens fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Jun 2, 2014

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
He posted it in N/V and even though I pointed it out, he's still disrespecting the REDBLACKS. He should be banned, not applauded.

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.

No Safe Word posted:

Now that Bud Adams is dead and buried yeah kinda.

gently caress that guy.



Or, keeping in the spirit of things....

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver

Sour Diesel posted:

I miss when the Ravens, Jags, and Titans all hated the poo poo out of each other.
The AFC Central will always be the division of my heart.

I still hate the Steelers, BTW

enigma105
Mar 16, 2004

His record...it's over 9-7!!!
^^Agreed^^

The AFC South is the bro division. But I'm pretty sure everyone hates the Titans.

The Jags because of the 14-3 1999 season (And Jeff Fisher's "Jacksonville is our home away from home" comment)
The Texans because of Bud Adams (we stole your Oilers)
The Colts because...well maybe there was a little while when it was the Titans/Colats at the top of the Division? Honestly, I doubt the Colts hate anyone in the AFC:S because they could just about to the playoffs every year

Wanvig
Sep 8, 2003

enigma105 posted:

The Texans because of Bud Adams (we stole your Oilers)

I want our powder blue unis back :smith:

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Aldon Smith as Owen Wilson in The Royal Tenenbaums

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.
What's to hate, though? The Titans aren't bad enough to love, but they're far too mediocre for anyone to give them the time of day. It'd be like hating the Cardinals.

The Wild Man of YOLO
Apr 20, 2004

A little cross-country, gentlemen?

enigma105 posted:

Honestly, I doubt the Colts hate anyone in the AFC:S because they could just about to the playoffs every year

Most Colts fans hate the Patriots wayyy more than they hate anyone else. Our fellow AFC:S teams are usually overlooked unless we're playing one that week and even then we can't seem to muster too much emotion

my cat is norris
Mar 11, 2010

#onecallcat

my cat is norris posted:

:siren: Seems like it's about time for my Farthouse Contest. :siren:

We've seen some Disney crossovers in the songs we've written, but I haven't seen nearly enough Disney crossover artwork.

So, here's my challenge:

1. Using a medium of your choice, crossbreed any Disney character with any active NFL player, commentator, coach, coaching staffperson, or proud QB dad. Photoshopping is fine.
2. Present the results for everyone to enjoy.

My favorite will get a cert of his or her choice. I may even give out TWO certs, if the pool's just that awesome. I'll even buy an avatar for someone else you hate, if that's what you want me to do.

You've got one week.

:getin:

Tomorrow's the day I decide which of you is the best! You still have one more day to make your Disney masterpieces.

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
MEDIA FRENZY TIME MANZIEL DID TINY THING

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/manziel-and-the-media/

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen


He's like a Bizzaro Tim Tebow

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.

ZenVulgarity posted:

He's like a Bizzaro Tim Tebow

Hopefully good at football, then.

SWNomad
Jun 28, 2008
Febreeze, one of your pieces is on grantland: http://grantland.com/the-triangle/sports-book-club-pft-commenter-goodell-vs-obama-the-battle-for-the-future-of-the-nfl/

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

edit:
Nevermind, s'all good.

Chilichimp fucked around with this message at 21:36 on Jun 3, 2014

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
That was a paid commission I did for PFTCommenters book, not linking back to me isn't a big deal, it's offical artwork for the book and if it's pimping the book it'll come back to me because I'm listed on the Amazon page.

http://www.amazon.com/Goodell-vs-Obama-Battle-Future-ebook/dp/B00KLCZMXC/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

I'm glad you guys get mad about proper credit being given but in this case it's no big deal.

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747

Is the author 15? Look at his pic at the bottom.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 2000

effectual posted:

Is the author 15? Look at his pic at the bottom.

http://mentor.patch.com/groups/sports/p/lake-catholic-graduate-wins-grantland-football-fantasy-job

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Where the gently caress were these cushy gigs when I was in high school :mad:

nrr
Jan 2, 2007

Sexy Rexy's Sexy Store is always open for business

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

It's not football, but maybe it will give you an idea Febreeze:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2085851-graphic-designer-uses-the-simpsons-to-redesign-nhl-logos

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Reposting here so it might actually get done because I have awful photo editing talents.

Spoeank posted:

Requesting Chichevache's avatar with scrolling $100 dollar bills instead& him holding a pair of Beats by Dre for a new av TIA.


I'll do plat or an avatar or no ads or whatever other crap you can do to modify your 1's and 0's for money.

Chiche's avatar, for reference.


I already have the alt text chosen and everything
"For that kind of money, I can pay someone to make the second read for me."

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
Best logo hands down is the MN North Stars


I would actually totally dig that as an avatar. Alas this isn't football related but logos are cool

wheez the roux
Aug 2, 2004
THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

Top Hats Monthly posted:

Best logo hands down is the MN North Stars


I would actually totally dig that as an avatar. Alas this isn't football related but logos are cool

the Big Dipper is not an N that logo is dumb as hell sorry



WSU logo is the best, then the Brewers mitt, then the Sadhawk

wheez the roux fucked around with this message at 07:24 on Jun 5, 2014

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

wheez the roux posted:

the Big Dipper is not an N that logo is dumb as hell sorry



WSU logo is the best, then the Brewers mitt, then the Sadhawk

WSU logo still looks like a snail to me

wheez the roux
Aug 2, 2004
THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

Febreeze posted:

WSU logo still looks like a snail to me

oh gently caress you for pointing that out to me god damnit

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747

wheez the roux posted:

oh gently caress you for pointing that out to me god damnit

:getin: Dawgs up

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

wheez the roux posted:

the Big Dipper is not an N that logo is dumb as hell sorry



WSU logo is the best, then the Brewers mitt, then the Sadhawk

You're a dumb snail :colbert:

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.

wheez the roux posted:

oh gently caress you for pointing that out to me god damnit

Excuse me, are you making GBS threads on the magnificent mascot of UC Santa Cruz? (I know a snail is not a slug, but you know what I'm saying.)

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Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Probably Magic posted:

Excuse me, are you making GBS threads on the magnificent mascot of UC Santa Cruz? (I know a snail is not a slug, but you know what I'm saying.)

UCSC needs a football team for me to root for.

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