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A Greek Letter posted:One of the junior officers in my old unit progressed from "Hey guys, check out this great idea I had: clean your ears while taking a dump!" to some weird pavlovian conditioning stage where he couldn't poo poo without something in his ear. We (The other JOs) used to prove this to the newer, incredulous, officers by having them steal his huge stash of q-tips. We'd then watch as he didn't go to the can for a few days, until he'd finally melt down and hop around the base with the locked knees of barely-holding-it-in, yelling and begging people for a q-tip. Wait.... what? So even when he was about to explode, he just wouldn't consider, you know, sitting down and trying? What would happen if he sat on a toilet without a qtip? Would he seize up?  I don't know wtf.
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May 24, 2014 17:04
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Dawncloack posted:Wait.... what? So even when he was about to explode, he just wouldn't consider, you know, sitting down and trying? What would happen if he sat on a toilet without a qtip? Would he seize up? He claimed that just grabbing the q-tips on his way would "Get [him] going", and figured it was hopeless to try otherwise. I don't actually know what would happen if he'd reach some physical limit, as invariably someone would feel bad and give him his stash back.
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May 24, 2014 17:14
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A Greek Letter posted:He claimed that just grabbing the q-tips on his way would "Get [him] going", and figured it was hopeless to try otherwise. I don't actually know what would happen if he'd reach some physical limit, as invariably someone would feel bad and give him his stash back. Sounds like he was full of poo poo.
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May 24, 2014 18:01
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DoktorLoken posted:How often do runaway guns even happen? I mean obviously it can happen on an open bolt weapon, but that's kinda terrifying.
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May 24, 2014 19:12
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DoktorLoken posted:How often do runaway guns even happen? I mean obviously it can happen on an open bolt weapon, but that's kinda terrifying. Eh often enough that you'll probably see one during a combat arms enlistment.
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May 24, 2014 19:29
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PCjr sidecar posted:Sounds like he was full of poo poo.  e. vvv I've heard of a ruined weapon from someone seeing how long long they could sustain fire after their barrel started to glow red, but at least they weren't dumb enough to touch it after (i think). Guest2553 fucked around with this message at 19:47 on May 24, 2014 |
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May 24, 2014 19:45
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During our FTX in AIT we had a kid cycle through 800 rounds on a 240 then he decided to put his hand on the barrel not a finger but grab it, he ran screaming from the guard tower with his hand completely white, our 1sg saw him with a drill and walked over calm as gently caress went "alright, take a knee and drink water, youll be fine." As he walks away he remembers his other lovely words of advice "Rub some dirt on it and carry on." Kids going to RHU soon. Idiot.
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May 24, 2014 19:45
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A Greek Letter posted:He claimed that just grabbing the q-tips on his way would "Get [him] going", and figured it was hopeless to try otherwise. I don't actually know what would happen if he'd reach some physical limit, as invariably someone would feel bad and give him his stash back. You think he was using them in his ear? 
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May 24, 2014 23:15
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Great thread thanks for sharing. Edit: jerks. I just cleaned my ears and accidentally pooped my pants.
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May 25, 2014 00:04
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DoktorLoken posted:How often do runaway guns even happen? I mean obviously it can happen on an open bolt weapon, but that's kinda terrifying. As previously mentioned they can happen on weapons with worn sear assemblies. In my limited experience those cases are rare, maybe because the gear we worked with was new with the exception of the M2s. More frequently runaways happened due to an overheated weapon cooking off rounds in the chamber. In that case the best thing to do is to attempt to point the weapon in a safe direction and break the reload cycle.
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May 25, 2014 18:43
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Arishtat posted:In that case the best thing to do is to attempt to point the weapon in a safe direction and break the reload cycle. Out of curiosity, what do you do? Grab the belt, pull, and twist?
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May 25, 2014 22:42
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madeintaipei posted:Out of curiosity, what do you do? Grab the belt, pull, and twist? twist first then pull
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May 25, 2014 22:45
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Be a man and grab the charging handle.... Maybe I'm the idiot in this post...
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May 25, 2014 23:54
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you keep it aimed at the women and kids you're murdering and just lit it run dry
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May 25, 2014 23:56
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Reverand maynard posted:you keep it aimed at the women and kids you're murdering and just lit it run dry But then you might get in trouble for dead lining your 240 depending on how big the belt is
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May 26, 2014 00:13
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Reverand maynard posted:you keep it aimed at the
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May 26, 2014 03:24
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Cross post from idiots on social media.Son of Thunderbeast posted:
Let that thought wash over you next time you're on whack shack patrol or staring at dicks during piss-tests. Or dealing with edit for accuracy
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May 26, 2014 03:56
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The guys fighting England to create America died but not to give us freedom. They died so some of us can get a day off work July 4.
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May 29, 2014 20:26
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Dude in my platoon decided it was a good idea to make a tatoo gun, after giving out 16 tattoos he realized that he had forgotten to clean it. Next week rolls around and sick call is filled with people having massive infections of skin eating viruses. Then this individual tried to kill himself by drinking tide. He is still allowed to drae a rifle for some reason
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Jun 4, 2014 00:43
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Anansi The Spider posted:Dude in my platoon decided it was a good idea to make a tatoo gun, after giving out 16 tattoos he realized that he had forgotten to clean it. Next week rolls around and sick call is filled with people having massive infections of skin eating viruses. Then this individual tried to kill himself by drinking tide. He is still allowed to drae a rifle for some reason It's just idiots all the way down
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Jun 4, 2014 01:04
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Anansi The Spider posted:Dude in my platoon decided it was a good idea to make a tatoo gun, after giving out 16 tattoos he realized that he had forgotten to clean it. Next week rolls around and sick call is filled with people having massive infections of skin eating viruses. Then this individual tried to kill himself by drinking tide. He is still allowed to drae a rifle for some reason Had a buddy that made a tattoo gun in Afghanistan out of a shaver, sharpie, and push pin. Tattooed a smiley face on his thigh and it somehow didn't get infected. But he did have a retarded smiley face on his thigh until it finally wore out.
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Jun 4, 2014 01:06
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I assume hes had more practice than some dumb private in 11b osut, where the common sense is through the roof already.
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Jun 4, 2014 02:05
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Anansi The Spider posted:I assume hes had more practice than some dumb private in 11b osut, where the common sense is through the roof already. Lmfao. Boots gonna boot.
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Jun 4, 2014 02:08
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Makes me feel way better about the barracks tat I got in Oki in 2011. That guy actually had a proper tattoo gun and what not. Can't imagine those idiots doing it with prison implements, holy Christ.
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Jun 4, 2014 13:50
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So a couple of idiots went to the waterpark this weekend in Korea. And got headlines right before Korean elections. Army strong: http://m.koreatimes.co.kr/phone/news/view.jsp?req_newsidx=158257
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Jun 4, 2014 13:58
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Was out with a friend this weekend who's an Army Reserve NCO, and got to hear half of the best conversation. Halfway though, she's knife handing at the phone in sheer reflex. Seems one of her soldiers decided to have himself a drink. Being 19, this was already a bad plan. It got worse when he decided he needed to get home to his parents' place, before they realized he was drunk, and hopped in his car. Now this wouldn't be quite the perfect level of idiocy until what follows. He ran a red light and T-boned someone, driving drunk. That someone? A cop car. So now he's calling from the city lockup, using his one phone call to try and get his NCO to bail him out so he doesn't have to tell his parents. It was beautiful. After she got done chewing on him she talked the deputy into letting him have a second call to contact his parents.
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Jun 4, 2014 16:06
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Enlistedmen. Enlistedmen never change.
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Jun 4, 2014 16:58
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Getting caught with a bitch in your room doesnt get any better than when said women is found to be the CQ NCOs wife. It all went down hill when she got shitfaced at the battalion ball and revealed her husbands shemale fetish
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Jun 4, 2014 22:49
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Anansi The Spider posted:her husbands shemale fetish As an FNG at one base I end up being in the same flight as a good buddy that I met on basic. I go down the hall to visit his barrack room, and since he's alone, I sit down in his roommate's chair. Roommate's computer keyboard was in the way of my arm so I bump it out of the way with my elbow. I must have inadvertently hit a media shortcut key in the process because the computer wakes up, opens up windows media player and resumes playing some hardcore shemale gangbang. I believe it was called Barely female, totally shemale II. After collective  we call a couple more guys in, and start to explore what other hidden mysteries were on that hard drive. We called that adventure off after about thirty seconds upon finding some explicit pokemon porn/loli/furry poo poo and just walked away in disgust.Ended up getting to know the roommate before too long. To his credit he was more or less normal (as much as any 20-year old in the army, at least  ), but there was a side of him I definitely didn't need to know about. He also started passport protecting his computer after that, which is sort of a win i guess.e. In unrelated news, anybody hear about that SNCO at Hood who was Guest2553 fucked around with this message at 23:46 on Jun 4, 2014 |
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Jun 4, 2014 23:39
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Thump! posted:Makes me feel way better about the barracks tat I got in Oki in 2011. That guy actually had a proper tattoo gun and what not. Can't imagine those idiots doing it with prison implements, holy Christ. it shouldn't make you feel any better this is still really dumb
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Jun 4, 2014 23:41
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Guest2553 posted:In unrelated news, anybody hear about that SNCO at Hood who was its always the wierdos who end up being in the SAPR office
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Jun 4, 2014 23:46
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I remember one of the cooks was trying to sneak a girl on base. The gate guard saw her in the car and told him to turn around and take her home. He turned around and returned shortly... with his spare tire in the back seat. You'll never guess what they found in his trunk. 
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Jun 4, 2014 23:53
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I sometimes wonder how you can be poor in the Army. Then I look to my left and right and see 350$ jordans and 200 dollar Oakleys and stop wondering.
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Jun 4, 2014 23:59
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Anansi The Spider posted:I sometimes wonder how you can be poor in the Army. Then I look to my left and right and see 350$ jordans and 200 dollar Oakleys and stop wondering. M3, mustang, m3, mustang, m3, some stupid jeep jacked up with a thousand moto stickers but at least it was probably cheap, mustang -every barracks parking lot ever.
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Jun 5, 2014 00:59
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Best Friends posted:some stupid jeep jacked up with a thousand moto stickers but at least it was probably cheap Haha those are never cheap, a used jeep from the early 90's is still around 6 grand up here no matter what shape it's in.
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Jun 5, 2014 01:02
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Anansi The Spider posted:I sometimes wonder how you can be poor in the Army. Then I look to my left and right and see 350$ jordans and 200 dollar Oakleys and stop wondering. I knew an E3 with a brand new camaro SS that, with insurance, was costing him about $900 a month.
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Jun 5, 2014 01:41
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gleep gloop posted:I knew an E3 with a brand new camaro SS that, with insurance, was costing him about $900 a month. And im sure he has to eat at the DFAC because hes retarded. I see tons of E5 - E7s with expensive cars, but why is it every officer ive seem drives the biggest pieces of poo poo cars? 
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Jun 5, 2014 02:14
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Anansi The Spider posted:And im sure he has to eat at the DFAC because hes retarded. I see tons of E5 - E7s with expensive cars, but why is it every officer ive seem drives the biggest pieces of poo poo cars? they're smart enough not to buy a car they don't need? except the brand new 2LT i knew who bought a brand new M3, or the 1LT i saw rollin around in a viper
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Jun 5, 2014 02:17
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Anansi The Spider posted:why is it every officer ive seem drives the biggest pieces of poo poo cars? Alimony 
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Jun 5, 2014 02:29
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Anansi The Spider posted:And im sure he has to eat at the DFAC because hes retarded. I see tons of E5 - E7s with expensive cars, but why is it every officer ive seem drives the biggest pieces of poo poo cars? House payments.
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Jun 5, 2014 03:48
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