More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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SEKCobra: Feb 28, 2011; Hi
Don't look at my site

HalloKitty posted:

Someone running from one end of a building to another with a 500MB USB stick?

I can't think of anything else that's that appalling.

That would literally be faster.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 15:04

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# ? May 23, 2024 11:19

Dilbert As FUCK: Sep 8, 2007; by Cowcaster; Pillbug

Solaris and broadcom drivers.

It's a hell like no other....

# ? Jun 9, 2014 16:21

Ynglaur: Oct 9, 2013; The Malta Conference, anyone?

You could have stopped with Solaris. I still have no idea why people use it when so many variants of Linux exist. I'm sure there are good reasons: I just haven't come across any yet.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 16:27

Dilbert As FUCK: Sep 8, 2007; by Cowcaster; Pillbug

Ynglaur posted:

You could have stopped with Solaris. I still have no idea why people use it when so many variants of Linux exist. I'm sure there are good reasons: I just haven't come across any yet.

I hear ya, but I'm working with Nexenta because FreeNas won't do storage acceleration, example:front end a slow NAS with a ZFS host. As it seems anything that does this is Solaris based.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 16:30

evol262: Nov 30, 2010; #!/usr/bin/perl

Dilbert As gently caress posted:

Solaris and broadcom drivers.

It's a hell like no other....

rem_drv and add_drv are pretty crusty, and bnx/bge don't play well, but it's not that bad

# ? Jun 9, 2014 16:51

Dilbert As FUCK: Sep 8, 2007; by Cowcaster; Pillbug

Anywhere I can package this thing into the ISO so if we have to rebuild the blasted thing it's already pre-existing?

# ? Jun 9, 2014 16:57

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Oh cool, today I got to drive an hour out of the city so that I could start a loving Bomgar session with this company's full time helpdesk so they can try to elevate user privileges on this laptop so that I can install Adobe updates.

This is why you always negotiate your salary, folks. I didn't and even though this is a vicious waste of my time, it obviously isn't a waste of money for my employers.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 18:44

SamDabbers: May 26, 2003

You can't expect someone who uses a computer every day to be able to follow step-by-step instructions to open a website and click a link. That'd take some sort of computer expert or something.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:30

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

Pissing me off is the conspiracy client. Whenever something easy goes wrong, it's always "But why would this just happen out of nowhere? Is there a virus? Did our equipment break? How long will it take to call the vendor and get a replacement? I don't understand why it was working yesterday but not today!"

Dude. The spam filter decided to flag the scanner's emails. I don't know why, but I'm guessing because you've sent so many emails with attachments in the last week the spam filter was playing it safe. I added it to the whitelist and released your scans from the quarantine. There is no reason to freak out.

Every other ticket put in is always attributed to some bigger problem that must be happening behind the scenes, and random tickets with totally unique and isolated issues are linked together with a grand conspiracy that everything in the world is broken. It wastes so much of my time to have to explain what's not happening instead of just explaining what IS happening.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:38

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

SamDabbers posted:

You can't expect someone who uses a computer every day to be able to follow step-by-step instructions to open a website and click a link. That'd take some sort of computer expert or something.

I once had to drive for an hour to another out-of-town job to install a networked HP printer on a laptop. As in, it was already on the network, and they just had to download the HP software and hit "Next" a bunch of times.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:40

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Inspector_666 posted:

I once had to drive for an hour to another out-of-town job to install a networked HP printer on a laptop. As in, it was already on the network, and they just had to download the HP software and hit "Next" a bunch of times.

Are you at least getting mileage?

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:42

Helushune: Oct 5, 2011

Ynglaur posted:

You could have stopped with Solaris. I still have no idea why people use it when so many variants of Linux exist. I'm sure there are good reasons: I just haven't come across any yet.

Speaking about Solaris... When I first started where I'm at, almost every machine that was running *nix of some sort was running OpenIndiana. No one knew why or how to administer them if anything broke and there was absolutely no documentation.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:46

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Sickening posted:

Are you at least getting mileage?

It's a company car. Honestly I don't mind the driving jobs so much since it means I at least have some time to kill in between these types of things.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:47

Roargasm: Oct 21, 2010; Hate to sound sleazy
But tease me
I don't want it if it's that easy

Dilbert As gently caress posted:

Anywhere I can package this thing into the ISO so if we have to rebuild the blasted thing it's already pre-existing?

dmake

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:56

hihifellow: Jun 17, 2005; seriously where the fuck did this genre come from

Boss keeps bringing in candidates for a desktop support position with way overqualified resumes. Then they bomb the group interview because it turns out someone with 10+ years of IT experience applying for desktop support means their skill set never evolved beyond help desk, and with our IT department being as lean as it is dead weight is a huge liability. Trying to engage them in anything technical becomes "well, I know how to make users" and then everything just gets awkward.

I'm starting to feel bad for these guys... just not bad enough to approve them.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 20:25

BaseballPCHiker: Jan 16, 2006

Had a fun assignment dropped in my lap today. "Oh by the way we've never really messed with wsus or updates unless we absolutely needed one. Can you go ahead and come up with a patch schedule and start approving patches to push out"?

I'm trying to remember/find a quick way to decline all the old superseded updates so at least I'm not staring down 15k updates.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 20:55

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

BaseballPCHiker posted:

Had a fun assignment dropped in my lap today. "Oh by the way we've never really messed with wsus or updates unless we absolutely needed one. Can you go ahead and come up with a patch schedule and start approving patches to push out"?

I'm trying to remember/find a quick way to decline all the old superseded updates so at least I'm not staring down 15k updates.

Are they wanting to put in actual time to test updates? If not, then don't even bother. The older stuff is pruned automatically in 2008 wsus and above. Just setup and go.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 21:20

BaseballPCHiker: Jan 16, 2006

Sickening posted:

Are they wanting to put in actual time to test updates? If not, then don't even bother. The older stuff is pruned automatically in 2008 wsus and above. Just setup and go.

They do want me to actually test the updates. I'm coming up with a group of users I know and trust enough to be test hosts. Thankfully we're all Win 7 & 8 but I'm sure there are hundreds of updates just for those two before I even start looking at Office and Lync updates. Guess I'll just decline anything that has been superseded and start from there.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 21:27

ZeitGeits: Jun 20, 2006; Too much time....

Sickening posted:

Are they wanting to put in actual time to test updates? If not, then don't even bother. The older stuff is pruned automatically in 2008 wsus and above. Just setup and go.

There is a .NET api for WSUS you can call from powershell. It's been a few years since I administrated a windows environment, so I can't help you beyond directing you to the msdn pages for it.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 21:46

Zamujasa: Oct 27, 2010; Bread Liar

"Oh this guy from [executive's other business] did it all for them, he can help us get compliant!"

Our primary domain server is 170+ updates behind.

Our secondary? Hasn't even checked for updates once.

This is going to be comedy.

Also, great to be the "most valuable employee" when I make under half of what the most useless employee made :toot:

(a "project manager" who got them to purchase a gaming laptop for :airquote:

development :airquote:

and wasn't fired even after hilariously overpromising and underdelivering, and being caught playing WoW on company time)

# ? Jun 9, 2014 21:53

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

gently caress you TI for pushing a fix to your wireless driver to a git repository that isn't on the wiki and isn't documented anywhere.

No no, push it to an obscure release of android and don't tell anybody. It's the ~*~*~*Texas Instruments*~*~*~ way.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 21:55

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

That feeling when you catch something out of the corner of your eye on your other monitor that's remoted into your DC.

Java Update Available

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

# ? Jun 9, 2014 22:19

Antioch: Apr 18, 2003

ZeitGeits posted:

There is a .NET api for WSUS you can call from powershell. It's been a few years since I administrated a windows environment, so I can't help you beyond directing you to the msdn pages for it.

I use PoshWSUS for all my powershell WSUS needs. The code below is what we use to decline Itanium and ia64 updates since we have none of those in our organization, but I'm sure you can tweak it to decline superseded updates etc.

code:

Import-Module PoshWSUS 
Connect-poshWSUSServer -wsusserver $serverFQDN -port 80

# Get All the updates that are not already declined and have ia64 OR itanium (case insensitive Regular Expression) in the title, decline them

$Decline = Get-poshWSUSUpdate | where { -not $_.Isdeclined -and $_.Title -match �ia64|itanium�} | Deny-poshWSUSUpdate

# Prepare the e-mail Body, with some prefix text, a declined updates table and a footer text, as HTML

$Body = $decline | ConvertTo-Html -PreContent �$($Decline.count) updates has been declined on $($Wsus.Name)<hr>� -PostContent �<hr>Disk space will be freed only at next Cleanup� | out-string

# Then send an e-mail using Powershell 2.0 native cmdlet

Send-MailMessage -To $whoever -From $WSUSServer -Subject �WSUS declined updates� -BodyAsHtml -Body $Body -SmtpServer $SMTPserverFQDN -Priority Low

# ? Jun 9, 2014 22:47

ijustam: Jun 20, 2005

One of my projects goes live this week and we haven't had a single day go by without some issue creeping up. I worked Saturday and Sunday on this one as well. Also, I'm the only person qualified to edit the code at the moment because the other developer is in a training session all week.

Another one of my projects is on fire as well, but I have to contact Microsoft before I can confirm our resolution. This was supposed to happen today and did not.

2 of the 4 support cases I'm on magically updated today, after nearly a month of inactivity. And of course they want to be updated as soon as possible despite them never responding in any sort of timely fashion.

I agreed to take over a colleague's project while he was on his honeymoon but he told me it'd be helping some users get sped up but the project manager seems to think otherwise. gently caress.

:suicide:

# ? Jun 9, 2014 22:48

QuiteEasilyDone: Jul 2, 2010; Won't you play with me?

Re: Fw: gently caress Printers

Today I found out that Konica Minolta support is absolutely terrible and has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. We've been having issues with getting x86 drivers loaded on because for some godforsaken reason 2008R2 believes that the x86 drivers are incompatible. Calling support led me through a 25 branch phone transfer tree which seemed to recursively loop with the exact same options at each branch. When I finally got a representative on the phone his suggestion was that we install the drivers and that any further elaboration was going to cost us on a case by case basis.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 23:19

dogstile: May 1, 2012; fucking clocks
how do they work?

DrAlexanderTobacco posted:

The EU Working Time Directive states that there must be a minimum of 11 hours between work shifts.

If you've opted out of that, god help you.

Didn't find out about that until about five minutes before I left, when co-worker helpfully let me know. I'll just send in a text and quote that next time, i've definitely not opted out, i'm not that dumb.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 23:41

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

AlternateAccount posted:

That feeling when you catch something out of the corner of your eye on your other monitor that's remoted into your DC.

Java Update Available

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

This + Adobe Reader.

Good news is we are almost done replacing all these old DCs, I wonder how long until I start finding that poo poo again.

I pushed for Server Core but apparently that is wayyyyyyy too crazy of a concept here...

# ? Jun 9, 2014 23:49

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Moey posted:

This + Adobe Reader.

Good news is we are almost done replacing all these old DCs, I wonder how long until I start finding that poo poo again.

I pushed for Server Core but apparently that is wayyyyyyy too crazy of a concept here...

I have fought this fight countless times. No gui = scary.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 23:52

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

Sickening posted:

I have fought this fight countless times. No gui = scary.

None of these twits even knew what RSAT was. I explained it to them and showed them many times, no dice.

Edit: I would love to see one of them try and work with powershell to make changes.

Actually, no. No I would not.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 23:57

Che Delilas: Nov 23, 2009; FREE TIBET WEED

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

Re: Fw: gently caress Printers

Today I found out that Konica Minolta support is absolutely terrible and has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. We've been having issues with getting x86 drivers loaded on because for some godforsaken reason 2008R2 believes that the x86 drivers are incompatible. Calling support led me through a 25 branch phone transfer tree which seemed to recursively loop with the exact same options at each branch. When I finally got a representative on the phone his suggestion was that we install the drivers and that any further elaboration was going to cost us on a case by case basis.

I can put up with about 4 branches of any given phone tree before I get annoyed and say "operator" "representative" "help" "shitfuckcock." If that doesn't work, lean on as much of your keypad as you can. Most phone trees are programmed to dump you to a real person if you do stuff like that.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 23:59

QuiteEasilyDone: Jul 2, 2010; Won't you play with me?

Che Delilas posted:

I can put up with about 4 branches of any given phone tree before I get annoyed and say "operator" "representative" "help" "shitfuckcock." If that doesn't work, lean on as much of your keypad as you can. Most phone trees are programmed to dump you to a real person if you do stuff like that.

The Konica Minolta Tree is apparently programmed to hang up on you for doing so, doesn't respond to voice commands, and a quick Google on how to game the system didn't reveal much. It's literally phone support hell

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:08

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

Re: Fw: gently caress Printers

Today I found out that Konica Minolta support is absolutely terrible and has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. We've been having issues with getting x86 drivers loaded on because for some godforsaken reason 2008R2 believes that the x86 drivers are incompatible. Calling support led me through a 25 branch phone transfer tree which seemed to recursively loop with the exact same options at each branch. When I finally got a representative on the phone his suggestion was that we install the drivers and that any further elaboration was going to cost us on a case by case basis.

I always love calling support and telling them "Hey I can't do X" and their response is just "Well you need to do X."

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:20

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Moey posted:

None of these twits even knew what RSAT was. I explained it to them and showed them many times, no dice.

Edit: I would love to see one of them try and work with powershell to make changes.

Actually, no. No I would not.

Its shocking how many people login to servers through remote desktop to do basic poo poo. It seems so silly. No, you don't need to login to the DC to access active directory using RDP.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:30

Che Delilas: Nov 23, 2009; FREE TIBET WEED

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

The Konica Minolta Tree is apparently programmed to hang up on you for doing so, doesn't respond to voice commands, and a quick Google on how to game the system didn't reveal much. It's literally phone support hell

So they're basically real life Popcopy then. Good to know.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:36

sloshmonger: Mar 21, 2013

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

Re: Fw: gently caress Printers

Today I found out that Konica Minolta support is absolutely terrible and has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. We've been having issues with getting x86 drivers loaded on because for some godforsaken reason 2008R2 believes that the x86 drivers are incompatible. Calling support led me through a 25 branch phone transfer tree which seemed to recursively loop with the exact same options at each branch. When I finally got a representative on the phone his suggestion was that we install the drivers and that any further elaboration was going to cost us on a case by case basis.

I went through something similar with Konica Minolta a couple of years ago. Ironically, I think it was with the "Universal Driver".

Of course, we beat the machines to hell over the course of a couple years. It got to the point where the guy doing maintenance on our machines took over a cube for a few days, and people thought it was ideal.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:37

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

DrAlexanderTobacco posted:

The EU Working Time Directive states that there must be a minimum of 11 hours between work shifts.

If you've opted out of that, god help you.

I hope they remove the possibility of opting out entirely. Not so much to protect dumb-rear end employees from themselves but to protect other employees from the dumb-rear end employees. I have no idea what the situation is right now regarding changing the directive, I just know it's been in the works at some point after 2012.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:43

dennyk: Jan 2, 2005; Cheese-Buyer's Remorse

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Every other ticket put in is always attributed to some bigger problem that must be happening behind the scenes, and random tickets with totally unique and isolated issues are linked together with a grand conspiracy that everything in the world is broken. It wastes so much of my time to have to explain what's not happening instead of just explaining what IS happening.

My favorite "OMG HAX!!!!" ticket was back when I was working tech support for a web hosting company. Some lady misspelled her own domain name on one of her links on some page buried deep in her site and it ended up pointing to a page on some environmental survey company's website. She immediately opened a ticket in all caps saying something along the lines of "HELP MY SITE HAS BEEN HACKED HELP HELP!!!!!" It took like three email exchanges before we finally convinced her that no, some little environmental survey company in North Dakota whose domain name happened to be a letter or two different than hers didn't actually hack her site and change her links. :downs:

# ? Jun 10, 2014 02:18

nzspambot: Mar 26, 2010

Moey posted:

This + Adobe Reader.

Good news is we are almost done replacing all these old DCs, I wonder how long until I start finding that poo poo again.

I pushed for Server Core but apparently that is wayyyyyyy too crazy of a concept here...

Just unstall the GUI by accident

# ? Jun 10, 2014 04:41

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

Sickening posted:

Its shocking how many people login to servers through remote desktop to do basic poo poo. It seems so silly. No, you don't need to login to the DC to access active directory using RDP.

Yeah, doing AD changes from PowerShell from my desktop surprised some people :|

# ? Jun 10, 2014 06:28

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# ? May 23, 2024 11:19

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

AlternateAccount posted:

Yeah, doing AD changes from PowerShell from my desktop surprised some people :|

RSAT?

# ? Jun 10, 2014 07:51

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