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Terry Crews was the only good part of the first Expendables and Mickey Rourke's scenes were boring as hell. Never saw the second one.
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Jun 18, 2014 17:09
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The only interesting of The Expendables for me is that, like Act of Valor, it frames torture as a sadistic, immoral act that is beyond the scope of its heroes. But unlike that other movie, The Expendables is a sadistic killing spree anyway. Wasn't there also a subplot about Jason Statham beating up his girlfriend's ex-husband that went absolutely nowhere? I'm hard pressed to think of a film that underutilized its cast as badly as The Expendables.
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Jun 18, 2014 17:21
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muscles like this? posted:Doesn't help that half of the cast are a bunch of no-names. 99% of the time they wouldn't even rate a mention, except Stallone sells these movies on how many people he puts in them. There's 17 people on that poster and I reckon maybe... four no-names?
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Jun 18, 2014 17:28
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:Planet Earth, where anything involving Chuck Norris gets the gasface.
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Jun 18, 2014 17:37
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Gaz2k21 posted:The expendables is the cinematic equivalent of a bunch of ex pro-footballers in their retirement years getting together and going for a kickabout down the park.....nothing but a bit of fun by former masters of their trade. So, a mild novelty that soon wears thin, ultimately less interesting than watching current players still in their prime in a real match.
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Jun 18, 2014 18:09
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zandert33 posted:What world do you live in where this is boring garbage? The place where that scene exists in a movie where you have to watch an hour of craggy old men mumbling at each other before you get to it. I'm all for watching JCVD kick a knife into a guy's chest, but both Expendables movies have an enormous amount of incredibly boring filler.
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Jun 18, 2014 18:37
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According to that poster, they give Terry Crews a gatling gun, and that's at least worth a matinee ticket, imo
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Jun 18, 2014 18:42
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If you're a Terry Crews fan, make sure you're watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He's doing great work there.Erebus posted:The place where that scene exists in a movie where you have to watch an hour of craggy old men mumbling at each other before you get to it. I could get past that if the action was at all compelling. JCVD has recently done good work in the last two Universal Soldier movies and Stallone was fun in Bullet to the Head. It's not like these guys are incapable of being good in action movies, they're just not doing it here.
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Jun 18, 2014 20:18
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I only saw the beginning of the second one, and it had the production values of a credit card commercial, like that one with the vikings. I'm no movie snob but I found it completely unenjoyable, and even worse, boring. You have to be really bad at making movies to make poo poo blowing up surrounded by every action star boring, but they pulled it off.
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Jun 18, 2014 20:36
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MikeJF posted:There's 17 people on that poster and I reckon maybe... four no-names? Looking at the poster, I have no clue who: Randy Couture Ronda Rousey Glen Powell Victor Ortiz Robert Davi are and Dolph Lundgren is barely an also ran. These are pretty much the highest profile things he does anymore. So maybe not half but a third of the people wouldn't even rate normally. morestuff posted:The only thing I really remember about the first one is that it was peak "Hey, Mickey Rourke acting again is a cool story, let's bring him in and see if he can liven up this terrible monologue I wrote." That was literally the scene where I turned off the first movie from complete boredom.
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Jun 18, 2014 21:01
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If you have seen any action movie from 1985 to 1995 that didn't have a big name in it, Robert Davi was probably the villain.
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Jun 18, 2014 21:04
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yeah, Robert Davi is totally an "oh, that guy!" actor.
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Jun 18, 2014 21:25
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MrBling posted:yeah, Robert Davi is totally an "oh, that guy!" actor. He, unlike loving Chuck Norris is what I want to see in these movies. I want to see Robert Davi and Bolo Yeung and Ed Harris and Tim Curry and whatnot.
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Jun 18, 2014 21:28
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:He, unlike loving Chuck Norris is what I want to see in these movies. I want to see Robert Davi and Bolo Yeung and Ed Harris and Tim Curry and whatnot. Al Leong can't be up to much.
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Jun 18, 2014 21:41
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I dunno I don't mind Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris didnt do anything wrong, the internet did.
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Jun 18, 2014 22:09
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Cage posted:I dunno I don't mind Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris didnt do anything wrong, the internet did. Chuck Norris has always loving sucked, though. Name a good Chuck Norris movie. There are none.
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Jun 18, 2014 22:15
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muscles like this? posted:Looking at the poster, I have no clue who: 
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Jun 18, 2014 22:18
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Jun 18, 2014 22:19
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Cage posted:I dunno I don't mind Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris didnt do anything wrong, the internet did. Chuck Norris is a creationist, anit-gay marriage, anti-vaccination fundamentalist that thinks Atheists are trying to outlaw Christianity. gently caress em.
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Jun 18, 2014 22:20
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axleblaze posted:Chuck Norris is a creationist, anit-gay marriage, anti-vaccination fundamentalist that thinks Atheists are trying to outlaw Christianity. gently caress em.
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Jun 18, 2014 22:24
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TheJoker138 posted:Chuck Norris has always loving sucked, though. Name a good Chuck Norris movie. There are none. The Expendables 2 
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Jun 18, 2014 22:26
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TheJoker138 posted:Chuck Norris has always loving sucked, though. Name a good Chuck Norris movie. There are none. I grew up on Sidekicks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUl8RV2r6U4 It's very rare for a trailer (nowadays) to LITERALLY give away the entire movie.
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Jun 18, 2014 22:51
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A Force of One is still good for a few yucks.Cage posted:He can still punch and shoot people pretty good though. I dont see how they relate. Punching and shooting people isn't a story. Hell, you don't even need a story. Just be good enough of an artist and collaborator so that you can do some justice to both film and the art of physical combat and strategy. Otherwise, it's the prime definition of hackneyed bullshit.
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Jun 18, 2014 23:15
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morestuff posted:Al Leong can't be up to much. Exactly.
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Jun 18, 2014 23:26
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Cage posted:I dunno I don't mind Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris didnt do anything wrong, the internet did. Chuck Norris is the reason why there wasn't any cursing in the second movie (but graphic bloody violence is perfectly fine) so gently caress him.
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Jun 19, 2014 01:17
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Cacator posted:Chuck Norris is the reason why there wasn't any cursing in the second movie (but graphic bloody violence is perfectly fine) so gently caress him. Plus he made the shittiest garbage pile movies in all their primes. I loving DARE you people to watch Invasion U.S.A. again.
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Jun 19, 2014 02:00
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penismightier posted:Plus he made the shittiest garbage pile movies in all their primes. I loving DARE you people to watch Invasion U.S.A. again. Yep. He is three rungs below Seagal.
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Jun 19, 2014 02:21
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axleblaze posted:Chuck Norris is a creationist, anit-gay marriage, anti-vaccination fundamentalist that thinks Atheists are trying to outlaw Christianity. gently caress em. My wife's been to his house, she says he has huge portraits of himself all over the place. She said he had an entire medicine cabinet full of Rogaine, which is weird as it was still prescription only then, she said he had dozens of bottles.
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Jun 19, 2014 02:43
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:Yep. He is three rungs below Seagal. That said, only one one of them bragged about how he couldn't be choked out, only to get choked out by Gene Lebell so bad he shat himself. It wasn't Norris.
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Jun 19, 2014 02:48
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Firewalker is a guilty pleasure of mine,Louis Gosset Jr. evens out the terrible.
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Jun 19, 2014 03:13
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El Gallinero Gros posted:That said, only one one of them bragged about how he couldn't be choked out, only to get choked out by Gene Lebell so bad he shat himself. For more fun thinking Steven Seagal is a piece of poo poo, check out the hot spoken word breakdown in his hit song Jealousy. The first amendment? Oh you mean the freedom to gently caress us for free? 
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Jun 19, 2014 03:18
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Who told that story about Seagal crying after reading the best script ever, his own?
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Jun 19, 2014 04:12
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Steven seagal killed someones dog in a police raid
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Jun 19, 2014 04:24
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ClearAirTurbulence posted:My wife's been to his house, she says he has huge portraits of himself all over the place. She said he had an entire medicine cabinet full of Rogaine, which is weird as it was still prescription only then, she said he had dozens of bottles. This is a much more interesting story than the expendables could ever hope to be.
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Jun 19, 2014 04:30
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I sold Steven Segal a TV once. It was a Vizio.
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Jun 19, 2014 04:42
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Steven Seagal: Lawman was one of the best new TV series to come out of the last few years.
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Jun 19, 2014 05:02
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 I'd be perpetually angry at the world if I wrote that screenplay, too.
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Jun 19, 2014 05:44
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I'd just like to remind everyone that Stallone cowrote and costarred in a Dolly Parton musical-comedy called Rhinestone. And that in this movie he sings a song called "Drinkinstein." Drinkin'stein. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNPPf4RbQeg
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Jun 19, 2014 06:32
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K. Waste posted:I'd just like to remind everyone that Stallone cowrote and costarred in a Dolly Parton musical-comedy called Rhinestone. More proof that we should be able to take Oscar's back for future work being subpar.
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Jun 19, 2014 06:44
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K. Waste posted:I'd just like to remind everyone that Stallone cowrote and costarred in a Dolly Parton musical-comedy called Rhinestone. Well, what the hell is a stein good for?  Well, besides making for awesome decor, that is.
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Jun 19, 2014 06:55
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