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You reach down and flip the tortoise on it's back. The tortoise lays there on it's back, its belly baking in the hot su- *crowd roars approval*
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Jun 20, 2014 01:36
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A turtle is eating some berries. You flip it on its back and move it 50 feet away from the nearest food source and demand that it get a job and earn those berries as well as a way to get there. You actively prevent it from turning itself over and prevent others from helping it while blaming the turtle for being in the situation you put it in. You tell people "it should pull itself over by the bootstraps." You are now a conservative.
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Jun 20, 2014 04:27
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Super Mario is a conservative? No! 
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Jun 20, 2014 06:21
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ToxicSlurpee posted:A very, very good litmus test when it comes to ultra conservatives is to start quoting Warhammer 40K in front of people that don't know what it is and see how they react. Anybody that hears those quotes or "educate men without faith and you only create clever devils" is probably a complete poo poo with deplorable opinions. I used to do that, but with Hammerite teachings from the Thief series. You'd (not) be surprised how many of the devout went along with it
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Jun 20, 2014 10:45
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VitalSigns posted:Super Mario is a conservative? Many immigrants and tradespeople vote against their own interests.
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Jun 20, 2014 12:24
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Binowru posted:This reminds me of the time an actual conservative politician could not pass Voight-Kampff: Wait... there's a right answer?
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Jun 20, 2014 13:54
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VitalSigns posted:Super Mario is a conservative? I doubt it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV5w8OFrm6U
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Jun 20, 2014 14:58
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Duke Igthorn posted:"Forest Gump is a retard! This is particularly funny to me because my brother was born with severe mental retardation. My mother took us both to church as kids, and I always thought that was silly, since my bro is not neurologically capable of understanding the concept of 'God.' He only understands completely concrete, tangible things like, "let's wash hands," or "let's sit and eat," or "let's get in my car." Anything remotely abstract like the idea of an invisible deity is completely beyond his comprehension.
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Jun 20, 2014 15:13
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brain.centipedes posted:This is particularly funny to me because my brother was born with severe mental retardation. My mother took us both to church as kids, and I always thought that was silly, since my bro is not neurologically capable of understanding the concept of 'God.' He only understands completely concrete, tangible things like, "let's wash hands," or "let's sit and eat," or "let's get in my car." Anything remotely abstract like the idea of an invisible deity is completely beyond his comprehension. My brother-in-law has some form of autism (not sure which, my wife can't remember and I always thought it rude to ask my mother-in-law), where he can do most tasks and drive a car, but reading and critical thinking skills are very difficult for him, and so is any sort of change to his daily norm. But despite this he happily goes to church every Sunday, and the concept of not believing in God is completely foreign and alien to him.
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Jun 20, 2014 15:36
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 Only $300 on Amazon
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Jun 20, 2014 20:47
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RagnarokAngel posted:
Haha Holy poo poo! The most popular review for that is pretty great: quote:Unfortunately, I purchased this product with the intent of teaching an able-bodied child about our Lord and Savior. Guess how well that went? Well, shortly after our second bible study, the child began to behave strangely. He requested pudding, and I gave it to him. He walked into a wall and dropped the pudding. I think we all know what transpired. Yes, the child came to know God, but the child is now retarded. I accept full responsibility for my mistake and I have prayed for the Lord's unlimited forgiveness. I have given this book five stars with the caveat that it should only be used for retards. May the infinite blessings of our white Christian Lord and Savior be with you and with your white families. e: actually, all the reviews are great! http://www.amazon.com/Helping-retarded-know-God-Christian/dp/B002JS66M2
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Jun 20, 2014 21:04
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brain.centipedes posted:Haha Holy poo poo! The most popular review for that is pretty great: quote:I have a retarded son. He's a big fella about 6'5", with incredible strength. He would be a great asset to any sports team if not for his feeble mind. After reading this book he now violently runs after every hipster with a beard screaming "JEEEEESUS, JEEEEESUS, JEEEEESUS" It's quite terrifying to watch as he sets off to hunt them down like a crazed linebacker in a championship event. I've seen many Apple products shattered, and many gallons of Starbucks spilled as these poor trendsetters run for their lives. It's a sad thing to watch these unfortunate hipsters lose control of their bowels in terror as he hugs the Holy Spirit into them. quote:I think this book has helped me get in touch with my son, who is a teenage reatard. It helped me explain to him why Jesus made him a giant retard. He nodded a lot.
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Jun 20, 2014 21:12
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quote:I once knew a young fellow who didn't believe in god. He was a full fledged retard all over his knees and s***. He used to come into my house at night with a half dead chicken just screaming and yelling about "FRODO!!! PRECIOUS! !!" what ever the sinful s*** that means. he would take his pants off and scream "BAGGINGS" or something in his retard way, while trying and trying to vigorously beat a dead house fly with a shoelace. I drat near fell off my chair reading that
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Jun 21, 2014 01:12
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quote:Activist Bradlee Dean makes a shocking charge: what if the Taliban and other Muslim enemies we have met on battlefields around the world, had help? And not just any help, but help from the very people we trust the most? [6] Is the charge that Obama is aiding terrorists because pee pee doo doo he is a bad president? No it's infinitely dumber. quote:One thing is for sure, and there is no doubt, “terrorism” is working for the global community to strengthen their alliances toward a one-world government. It's the NEW WORLD ORDER!!! 
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Jun 21, 2014 03:47
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GigaPeon posted:Wait... there's a right answer?
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Jun 21, 2014 04:33
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Fly posted:You help or at least want to or try to help the tortoise unless you're a bad person or a replicant. VK test is about measuring reaction. So you're supposed to conjure the image in your mind and feel something about the fact you aren't helping. You then subconsciously react. Replicants can't do the whole imagining thing as fast because they don't have the complex memories humans do, so they don't react the way humans do. See this briefcase? Genuine baby-hide
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Jun 21, 2014 05:14
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Sir DonkeyPunch posted:VK test is about measuring reaction. So you're supposed to conjure the image in your mind and feel something about the fact you aren't helping. You then subconsciously react. Replicants can't do the whole imagining thing as fast because they don't have the complex memories humans do, so they don't react the way humans do. I am familiar with it, at least from the movie. The idea of measuring emotional responses doesn't translate well to twitter though, so it seems to say someone can fail it that way except to project whether the tweet suggests that the person doesn't care to help, which is what I meant to imply. I am assuming that the inability to feel is similar to the unwillingness to feel, which makes a replicant hard to distinguish from a bad person as far as tweets go. Subconscious reactions are hard for me to extract from tweets. Furthermore, a good person would want to help because she or he can feel.
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Jun 21, 2014 05:29
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GigaPeon posted:Wait... there's a right answer? The right answer is to show any kind of emotion: shock, dismay, worry, even glee if you're a sociopath. It's a test to determine if someone is actually a robot. 
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Jun 21, 2014 20:37
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A Fancy 400 lbs posted:The right answer is to show any kind of emotion: shock, dismay, worry, even glee if you're a sociopath. It's a test to determine if someone is actually a robot. For an example of failing, look no further than the genuine twitter feed for New Zealand's Minister for Police, Judith Collins. 
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Jun 22, 2014 03:55
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Somfin posted:For an example of failing, look no further than the genuine twitter feed for New Zealand's Minister for Police, Judith Collins. img-ouroboros.jpg
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Jun 22, 2014 04:28
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A Fancy 400 lbs posted:The right answer is to show any kind of emotion: shock, dismay, worry, even glee if you're a sociopath. It's a test to determine if someone is actually a robot. Except showing the emotion is done through subtle biological clues rather than the words themselves. The VK test required the VK machine to work. Replicants didn't act like robots, so the actual answer itself wasn't relevant. It was how their body reacted to emotionally provocative questions that passed/failed people. Anyway Judith Collins wants a three strikes rule for New Zealand and is a "get tough on crime" person so we can probably let the twitter person get a pass for not really understanding Dick's VK test.
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Jun 22, 2014 04:52
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Lassitude posted:Except showing the emotion is done through subtle biological clues rather than the words themselves. The VK test required the VK machine to work. Replicants didn't act like robots, so the actual answer itself wasn't relevant. It was how their body reacted to emotionally provocative questions that passed/failed people. It isn't an actual Voight-Kampf test (there is no actual Voight-Kampf test) but that twitter exchange is funny as poo poo.
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Jun 22, 2014 05:36
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I wonder if we could work her response into a campaign ad against her?
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Jun 22, 2014 05:38
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Frankly I'd be more concerned about a grown up getting all soggy eyed about a hypothetical turtle in a trick question. The mark of a semi-competent politician is that they don't let obvious bullshit fog their logical thinking ("will you please think of THE CHILDREN" being the oldest trick eg. used against sexual minorities). Also that they don't tweet.
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Jun 22, 2014 11:13
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Nenonen posted:Frankly I'd be more concerned about a grown up getting all soggy eyed about a hypothetical turtle in a trick question. The mark of a semi-competent politician is that they don't let obvious bullshit fog their logical thinking ("will you please think of THE CHILDREN" being the oldest trick eg. used against sexual minorities). Just a quick question, have you read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Blade Runner left out some important things as to why the Voigt-Kampf test exists and how it works. Androids aren't capable of emotion, they only simulate it. Humans, however, have hard-wired responses that are measurable even if they think "I should not cry about a suffering turtle." A human will still have a noticeable biological response, if you know what to look for. In the world as it is now a suffering turtle isn't a major deal because there's a gently caress ton of turtles. In the book, however, Earth is a sparsely populated, dusty, irradiated mess that is almost devoid of life. Animals are viewed as a mix of precious things that had to be kept alive at all cost and status symbols, as living animals were ludicrously expensive. People that couldn't afford fake animals often bought robotic ones. Humans looked at animals as fellow life that must be preserved after we hosed everything up. Androids looked at animals like machines. If you haven't read it it's definitely a good one to read. Not very long either. It deals with a lot of things like what it means to be human or alive, even, and one of the themes of the test and the book in general is that the world had advanced technologically to the point where it was difficult to impossible to tell fake humans from real ones.
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Jun 22, 2014 13:21
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Humans, however, have hard-wired responses that are measurable even if they think "I should not cry about a suffering turtle." A human will still have a noticeable biological response, if you know what to look for. Except psychopaths would probably be constantly misidentified as replicants. That always bothered me a little. I wish someone would conduct a study relating political affiliations to PCL-R scores. ToxicSlurpee posted:If you haven't read it it's definitely a good one to read. Not very long either. It deals with a lot of things like what it means to be human or alive, even, and one of the themes of the test and the book in general is that the world had advanced technologically to the point where it was difficult to impossible to tell fake humans from real ones. Be careful following this advice. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep is seriously one of the most soul-crushing and dystopian stories I have ever read, and I read a lot. Rick Deckard may be the emptiest, most depressing character ever written. People will think I'm exaggerating because, hey, it's just science fiction, but holy poo poo.
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Jun 22, 2014 13:43
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Centripetal Horse posted:Except psychopaths would probably be constantly misidentified as replicants. That always bothered me a little. I wish someone would conduct a study relating political affiliations to PCL-R scores. That's actually kind of the point. The book is basically just one long existential crisis and that's what makes it so good.
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Jun 22, 2014 14:14
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Imagine four turtles on the edge of a cliff. Say a direct copy of the turtle nearest the cliff is sent to the back of the line of turtles and takes the place of the first turtle. The formerly first turtle becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth falls off the cliff." Conservatism works the same way.
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Jun 22, 2014 14:26
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It's too bad the turtle won't live, but then again, who does?
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Jun 22, 2014 17:58
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TinTower posted:Imagine four turtles on the edge of a cliff. Say a direct copy of the turtle nearest the cliff is sent to the back of the line of turtles and takes the place of the first turtle. The formerly first turtle becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth falls off the cliff." This is a great analogy.  The turtles represent different prejudices, right?
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Jun 22, 2014 19:54
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quote:Mexican Troops Invading Arizona Border; Shooting American Citizens.[1] Okay I'm pretty certain they're overstating what's happening here given their only source is a place whose only source is the local news, but enough about that, I just noticed these articles have tags! quote:Tags: Barack Obama, consitution, Economy, Eric Holder, Guns, Harry Reid, Mexican Gang Members, Mexican government, NSA, tea party, terriorist, Tyranny
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Jun 22, 2014 20:39
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Centripetal Horse posted:Be careful following this advice. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep is seriously one of the most soul-crushing and dystopian stories I have ever read, and I read a lot. Rick Deckard may be the emptiest, most depressing character ever written. People will think I'm exaggerating because, hey, it's just science fiction, but holy poo poo. Welcome to every PKD book ever.
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Jun 23, 2014 00:28
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grate deceiver posted:Welcome to every PKD book ever. Hey not true; there's also the ones where the protagonist is a tweaked-out headcase who can't tell if reality is real or not due to all the futuredrugs he's on.
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Jun 23, 2014 00:32
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quote:A shocking look at erotic reading lists and other sexualizing elements of the Common Core curriculum. [8] Citation is a conservativenewsandviews.com article titled "COMMON CORE AND SODOM". The books cited (The Bluest Eye, The Black Swan, and Dreaming in Cuban are the names) aren't ones I've read so I can't tell if they're overreacting. I did find this funny, though. quote:7. 1987 The Supreme Court struck down Louisiana’s “Creationism Act”. This resulted in government-run schools censoring creationism, which gave evolution free reign to reduce students’ belief in God to a myth.
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Jun 27, 2014 02:50
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Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:Citation is a conservativenewsandviews.com article titled "COMMON CORE AND SODOM". The books cited (The Bluest Eye, The Black Swan, and Dreaming in Cuban are the names) aren't ones I've read so I can't tell if they're overreacting. I did find this funny, though. Dunno about the others, but The Bluest Eye has a scene in which the little girl protagonist is raped by her own father, told from the father's perspective. It's pretty horrifying (which is the point) and most certainly not "erotic" in any sense. They're not just overreacting; they're making the issue up entirely.
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Jun 27, 2014 06:40
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Moreover, the bluest eye is one of a few canonical examples of literature written by a black woman. It's definitely valuable to the curriculum, which I'm sure is mostly full of books by old white men.
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Jun 27, 2014 06:58
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Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:Citation is a conservativenewsandviews.com article titled "COMMON CORE AND SODOM". The books cited (The Bluest Eye, The Black Swan, and Dreaming in Cuban are the names) aren't ones I've read so I can't tell if they're overreacting. I did find this funny, though. Word to the wise: their article "Resurrecting Sodom" is nowhere near as hot as it sounds.
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Jun 27, 2014 09:08
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I know this is Conservapedia and all, so I shouldn't expect differently, but the fact that they can look at a novel by Nobel laureate and think "tawdry sex" really bothers me. The aggressive purging of anything outside of whitebread, anti-sexual Christian culture if Andy or someone like him got control of the censors would be stupendous. Ever english class in Maerica would just be reading Heaven is For Real over and over again.
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Jun 27, 2014 16:15
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Conservapedia posted:More disgusting Muslim cheating at soccer World Cup
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Jun 27, 2014 18:49
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quote:Most of those who promote the global warming narrative, have an agenda for controlling the people, and are hypocritical besides. But suppose it is real after all? And its cause is not what everyone says it is, but goes back to the Great Flood? [3] This is so confusing. "Obama is Kenyan, global warming isn't real, the alarmists are using it to advance their agendas, the science isn't there, but it is, the science is biblical! Global Warming isn't real but could be?"
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Jun 27, 2014 19:34
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