|
I managed to quote the wrong person,  50FA i lost some dumb fire fighter refresher training application that the ship was mailed 5 copies of.edit: and now that i turn that part of my brain back on, a few weeks after the whole thing that specific application was abandoned in favor of something else that i dont care about. Fart Cannon fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Jul 3, 2014 |
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 00:58
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 14, 2024 15:58 |
|
|
Two marines drown in Iraq, March 2003, when their Major ordered them to swim across a canal in full gear.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 01:00
|
|
|
Guest2553 posted:Ten years ago to the month. Every now and again I meet someone else who remembers that phrase, maybe it's something staff to do gently caress with anglos at this point. One of the few things I remember from basic is when we were being taught hand signals, the French INT corporal who was in charge of us stood up, patted his head and screamed at the top of his lungs while standing in the middle of a group of 45 Privates "EVERYBODY! COME ON ME!".
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 02:07
|
|
|
Samu posted:One of the few things I remember from basic is when we were being taught hand signals, the French INT corporal who was in charge of us stood up, patted his head and screamed at the top of his lungs while standing in the middle of a group of 45 Privates "EVERYBODY! COME ON ME!". French people are the best for this. I had a French warrant and he was yelling at us for something or other and he yelled out "YOU THINK I KNOW gently caress NOTHING, I KNOW gently caress ALL". It was really hard not to laugh at that.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 02:16
|
|
|
`Nemesis posted:Two marines drown in Iraq, March 2003, when their Major ordered them to swim across a canal in full gear. Yeah but they probably wanted to anyways. Whenever we had a patrol day without anywhere specific to go there would always be one dickhead in the squad who wanted to cross a body of water. Nevermind that the other side is the rear end-end of someone else's AO, I WANT PICTURES OF ME HOLDING MY RIFLE OVER MY HEAD.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 04:27
|
|
|
What's really sad is that stories date back centuries of soldiers drowning from being caught in the water in full gear. One famous figure (ironically, I can't remember who) supposedly died, I think during the Crusades, from being so hot and exhausted that he ran straight into an oasis as soon as he found one and drowned because he didn't bother taking off his armor before going swimming. I guess they just don't think that modern loadouts are that heavy? Just looking at it, it's hard to remember that a Marine is carrying probably close to 100 pounds of stuff on him. It doesn't look like it, but your average US soldier is probably more weighed down than a knight in plate armor.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 04:47
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:What's really sad is that stories date back centuries of soldiers drowning from being caught in the water in full gear. One famous figure (ironically, I can't remember who) supposedly died, I think during the Crusades, from being so hot and exhausted that he ran straight into an oasis as soon as he found one and drowned because he didn't bother taking off his armor before going swimming. Friedrich Barbarossa is who you're thinking of, though he walked his horse through a river and it collapsed under him.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 04:49
|
|
|
Also, it's believed that some French knights drowned at the Battle of Agincourt because when they faceplanted in the mud, they had difficulty getting back up from the weight of their armor.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 05:34
|
|
|
Well-fitted armor isn't as cumbersome as you think. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3UbOdyn_Us
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 05:38
|
|
|
Mad Dragon posted:Well-fitted armor isn't as cumbersome as you think. Not "use a winch to get on the horse" or "stuck like a turtle on its back" cumbersome, but I believe it's about 40 or 50 pounds and the guys were bogged down in mud thick enough to slow down their advance. Someone who fell face-first into it would probably have had some difficulty in getting out, especially if they were in a fight or retreat and surrounded by moving and brawling soldiers. I also think that the French knights at that time had full helms that covered the entire head, which would have made any potential mud drowning worse if the mud and water got in through the visor slits.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 05:43
|
|
|
Our flight has this creepy doll in a flight suit and helmet that was part of a tradition that kind of fizzled out sometime before I joined. Basically if it was deemed that you were a whiney bitch you'd find it sitting on your desk, and it would continue to find its way back there until the situation improved. This kind of went away due to hurt feelings and whatnot, at some point someone got upset and put one of those bullet-hole stickers on its visor. Now there's some talk about bringing it back and Cat Swastika Guy is at the top of the list of targets. Can't imagine how he'll take it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 06:10
|
|
|
...
Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:33 on Mar 31, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 06:24
|
|
|
Humper Monkey's thread about his son was what got me to join the forums, and is still one of the most  things I have ever read.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 06:27
|
|
|
Mine was the Martin Random poo poo lasagna thread, but yeah the humper money stories were always a good way to kill a couple hours when i was bored at work.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 07:04
|
|
|
PLANES CURE TOWERS posted:Mine was the Martin Random poo poo lasagna thread, but yeah the humper money stories were always a good way to kill a couple hours when i was bored at work. Oh Jesus, that one. I found that archived on Wyseguys when I was a teenager before I ever knew that the SA forum was a thing beyond vague references to trolling goons on the rest of the internet.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 16:19
|
|
|
Why the gently caress didn't he just move out? poo poo, one of my barracks roommates came home drunk and puked ALL OVER the bathroom one night. I had to piss in the shower. We had a little talk (I yelled at him), he apologized, and cleaned it up. It never happened again. Mad Dragon fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Jul 3, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 19:33
|
|
|
Mad Dragon posted:Why the gently caress didn't he just move out? People asked him that. I don't have it open right now (at work), but I believe it was a mix of two things: 1. He had a fairly good setup on his divided section of the apartment, and was living cheaply there. 2. He had a morbid fascination with the situation and wanted to see exactly how it would play out.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 19:35
|
|
|
And it wasn't true, just like his West Wing exposé that detailed Cheney's hourly mouth rinse to counteract oral necrosis and Donald Rumsfeld's refrigerated underwear. But yeah, even fictional stories need to illustrate character motivations.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 20:25
|
|
|
-Troika- posted:Humper Monkey's thread about his son was what got me to join the forums, and is still one of the most That kid who thought he was Goku?
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 21:57
|
|
|
Victor Vermis posted:And it wasn't true, just like his West Wing exposé that detailed Cheney's hourly mouth rinse to counteract oral necrosis and Donald Rumsfeld's refrigerated underwear. Yep, dude was in law school in NYC last I heard (like 2006ish) and made it all up. Fun read, though.
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 23:24
|
|
|
Oooh, I just remembered a pretty good story from a few years back. I like to call it "The War Trophy." So, I was an artilleryman (reservists, lol) with one of the oldest regiments in Canada. Battle Honours going back to the Great War and such, established in the 1870s. As such, we had a lot of trophies, stuff captured from years past, a collection of every musket rifle used in the hands of "Canadians" from 1812-onwards, a swagger stick with a miniture map of the Juno Beach landing zone inside of it which belonged to the BSM (Hold it up to the light, see the map in case of capture and such), a complete, original set of op-orders belonging to the C.G. of Canadian Artillery at Juno (Probably loving priceless these days). Among the trophies is a M.G.08. Basically a German adaptation of the Maxim gun, from the Great War. It's mounted on a wooden plinth with a plaque saying when and where it was captured (1917, don't remember the exact location). All of the old trophies and weapons we had were deactivated, either the barrel was welded up or the action was destroyed in some way. All the rifles and muskets certainly were. But as one of our young, drunk Gunners found out at a battery dinner, the action on this MG08 still seemed...somewhat functional. This was found by him working the cocking lever a few times and depressing the trigger with a loud *CLUNK* So imagine, if you will, the next hour. We're all in Mess Dress (White shirt and bowtie-style), sitting around a table with a bottle of CLP, some plyers and a screwdriver. One of the sergeants in my battery was a movie Armourer, and had the thing apart after fighting with 100 years of grease, gunk and possibly the blood of the Kaiserreich. The bolt mechanism is slightly rusty, but unmodified. The barrel is also quite rusty (Water-cooled jacket, after all), but un-blocked. We had an active German machinegun sitting in our Officer's mess for about 50 years and nobody noticed.
|
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2014 22:42
|
|
|
MA-Horus posted:Oooh, I just remembered a pretty good story from a few years back. I like to call it "The War Trophy." It's really more of a single shot without the proper cloth belts or links.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 00:27
|
|
|
MA-Horus posted:Oooh, I just remembered a pretty good story from a few years back. I like to call it "The War Trophy." This sounds like the opening scene to a movie about an old Canadian outpost getting attacked by zombies or demons or something. A setup showing the "deactivated" gun being found to be working, the monsters attack....and then cut away during the climax to the gun (mysteriously loaded with a fresh belt of 8mm ammo) mowing down a horde.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 01:45
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:This sounds like the opening scene to a movie about an old Canadian outpost getting attacked by zombies or demons or something. A setup showing the "deactivated" gun being found to be working, the monsters attack....and then cut away during the climax to the gun (mysteriously loaded with a fresh belt of 8mm ammo) mowing down a horde. Shaun of the Dead had the same plot device as well.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 03:49
|
|
|
Justin Godscock posted:Shaun of the Dead had the same plot device as well. I think I'd believe an 1866 Winchester was in working order and had .44 available over a German machine gun.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 04:20
|
|
|
Justin Godscock posted:Shaun of the Dead had the same plot device as well. The difference is that Shaun of the Dead is a parody and was so obvious about the Chekhov's gun that the pub containing the literal gun is called "the Winchester" and its name is repeated at least a dozen times before zombies even show up.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 04:21
|
|
|
Derek Dominoe posted:I think I'd believe an 1866 Winchester was in working order and had .44 available over a German machine gun. I'd find a working 1866 Winchester with ammo in an English pub less believable than a working German machine gun with ammo in a Canadian military base.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 04:51
|
|
|
oh, yeah, 8mm ammo with cloth belts and links are just kept around all the time. you can order it off cabelas
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 06:33
|
|
|
Larry Parrish posted:oh, yeah, 8mm ammo with cloth belts and links are just kept around all the time. you can order it off cabelas I did find an aluminum belt cheap for sale that's advertised as being for the MG 08. And Cabela's does sell 8mm Mauser.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 07:55
|
|
|
.303 British (7.7x56mmR) is NOT 8mm Mauser (7.92x57).
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 08:05
|
|
|
That's the page for the brand. There's a drop box to select 8mm.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 10:18
|
|
|
I've got tons of stories about idiots, but one of my favorites is this little vignette about an intrepid Seaman Recruit (E-1 for those of you not familiar with Navy). We'll call him Cletus. Cletus is from a tiny, mud hole town in Arkansas somewhere. He is exactly the sort of barely literate, possibly actually legitimately retarded, manchild that the military loves to recruit. His speech is almost unintelligible from a combination of poor vocabulary and an incredibly thick accent of some form along with a mild lisp. He was short and skinny, with a face that looked like he was the product of generations of both incest and interspecies copulation. If there is ever a book on white trash genealogy published this guy would be the cover. So Cletus gets called into the XO's office late one night for an unrelated thing (which is also a hilarious story in and of itself). As legal officer I was present for most of these sort of grilling sessions in case they ended up getting forwarded to NJP. In the course of the questioning for the other thing the subject of money comes up. He claims to not have any at all. On one hand, he is an undesignated E-1 so he gets paid next to nothing, but on the other hand he lives onboard, has no bills, and has been on deployment for almost four months with only one port visit so he should have something in his account. So the XO starts pulling that string. Cletus then starts talking about how he met a girl back home during POM leave. While there he got her pregnant and was sending all his money back to her via a pay allotment so she could "save it for when the baby comes". The XO then calmly asks if he was sure it was his. He was adamant that it was. He then starts to describe that beautiful night during which we in the room realize he didn't actually have sex with her. He just got a BJ in a bar bathroom. The XO stops him and says, "you can't get someone pregnant with a blow job". This revelation blew young Cletus's mind and he just stood there, dumbstruck. The XO to his credit, just calmly shook his head and told CMC to head down to admin and cancel the allotment. ManMythLegend fucked around with this message at 18:28 on Jul 5, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 14:06
|
|
|
MA-Horus posted:Among the trophies is a M.G.08. Basically a German adaptation of the Maxim gun, from the Great War. It's mounted on a wooden plinth with a plaque saying when and where it was captured (1917, don't remember the exact location). It concerns me that at least one unit from Canadia has upgraded their arms.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 15:50
|
|
|
Necrocult posted:That's the page for the brand. There's a drop box to select 8mm. Yeah, for some reason Cabela's lets you filter through ammo down to the exact caliber, but actually clicking on the selection brings up the entire manufacturer's page where you just select which type of ammo you want from them. quote:So Cletus gets called into the XO's office late one night for an unrelated thing (which is also a hilarious story in and of itself) Well, sounds like we need to hear it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 18:07
|
|
|
Let's Talk About Idiots: You can't get someone pregnant with a blow
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 18:08
|
|
|
Wasabi the J posted:Let's Talk About Idiots: You can't get someone pregnant with a blow Used a condom and she then saved it and flipped it inside out in her yoohoo. poo poo that didn't happen but I suppose it could.
|
|
#
?
Jul 5, 2014 18:30
|
|
|
ManMythLegend posted:I've got tons of stories about idiots, but one of my favorites is this little vignette about an intrepid Seaman Recruit (E-1 for those of you not familiar with Navy). We'll call him Cletus. Goddammit I lost it in a meeting and getting weird stares. That's glorious -- you should MSPaint the expression on his face.
|
|
#
?
Jul 6, 2014 00:38
|
|
|
ManMythLegend posted:I've got tons of stories about idiots, but one of my favorites is this little vignette about an intrepid Seaman Recruit (E-1 for those of you not familiar with Navy). We'll call him Cletus. That is the definition of enlisted.txt right there. OK I'll share because I'm pretty certain that the statute of limitations is out on this one. Situation As part of the 3rd ID invading Iraq we were forced to travel light. That meant we left a lot of stuff behind in a couple of Conexes parked on Camp NY back Kuwait. Mission Our supply sergeant, his assistant and an escorting M1114 (that's an up-armored Humvee for those of you following along at home) are detailed to drive down from Baghdad -> Kuwait, pick up whatever and then drive back. Sounds simple right? Execution Everything goes swimmingly on the trip down. It's a full day's drive so they stayed overnight at the camp, located the Conex among the hundred or so that were lined up on the back lot of the camp, sleep over one more night and head back to Baghdad the morning of the third day. Here's where things start to go awry. The Humvee develops engine trouble or overheats or something and so they decide to tow it using the 5-ton's tow bar. It takes about half an hour to hook up but they do it and the guys from the Humvee hop in the back of the truck and off they go. Just about as they get to the outskirts of Baghdad they notice smoke coming out of the Humvee. By the time someone in the back gets the attention of the driver and supply sergeant the Humvee is visibly on fire. They pull over to the side of the road (mind you this is May or June 2003) to see what's up and hopefully put out the fire. Also they call us (the troop HQ which was operating out of a suite in the former Iraqi Interior Ministry building) to let us know what's up. Top hears that one of his vehicles is on fire and immediately orders my driver and myself to mount up and we drive down there along with the troop Executive Officer (XO and also officer in charge of maintenance and property accounting) to help out. By the time we got there the vehicle in question was a smoldering wreck. The Humvee and pretty much everything in it was a complete write-off. I may or may not have been complicit in this because I think this is the trip that I missed a turn on and we ended up going a long way out and back and added a good hour plus to our response time. At the time Top (our troop First Sergeant) was pretty loving pissed at me but in retrospect I don't think it mattered one bit as our little fire extinguishers that we carried on the trucks wouldn't have done any better than the ones the guys in the 5-ton tried to use to put out the fire.  Hmm that's not good.  Yeah that's definitely not good.  Welp!  We didn't want that M240B anyway... What makes this story even better is that not only did these guys torch a M1114, but they also left the radios, the M240B machine gun, and even a couple of personal M4s inside it!  And here's our supply sergeant contemplating the paperwork he's about to write to explain all of this... So I'll bet you're asking yourself, "Mr. Arishtat, why the gently caress did this happen and could it have been prevented?" What happened here is that when they hooked the truck up to the 5-ton to tow it they failed to read the section of the technical manual for the Humvee which states that when you tow it for long distances you're supposed to disconnect and remove the propeller shafts that run from the transfer case to the front and rear differentials. The reason that you do this is that with the engine off the transmission fluid which lubricates and cools the transmission and transfer case isn't getting circulated (because the pump isn't running!) and will eventually boil off and then you have metal-on-metal grinding which leads to, yup, you guessed it, Humvee flambe! Oh by the way as far as I know the whole thing was just written off as a field loss which was covered by the big blank check that was written to the 3rd ID by the Department of Defense for participating in the invasion and initial occupation of Iraq. Those are your tax dollars at work.
|
|
#
?
Jul 6, 2014 02:11
|
|
|
Saw this on facebook. Highest voted story on r/relationships. http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1f9okx/im_28m_starting_to_fall_for_my_24f_wife_and_am/ I'm starting to fall for my 'wife' and am unsure how to proceed. posted:
http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1h1lay/m28_everything_with_my_wife_f24_that_i_married/ Everything with my wife that I married for insurance reason, then fell in love with, was going well... until last night.Updates. posted:
Frosted Flake fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Jul 6, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jul 6, 2014 02:29
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 14, 2024 15:58 |
|
|
Yes the best possible thing to do about your fraud is to post it on the internet.
|
|
#
?
Jul 6, 2014 14:08
|
|
