Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D
Port o shitter in Afghanistan

E: not me

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Hotel Kpro
Feb 24, 2011

owls don't go to school
Dinosaur Gum

Lazy Reservist posted:

Not tech school, but in the Deid, a couple of cops were caught under one of the Cadillac shitters.

:psyduck: oh god why? There were at least a few places on crappy compound that would have been far less dirty and less likely to get caught.

Cojawfee
May 31, 2006
I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius
I just got confirmation from homefacts.com that a guy that was in my shop is indeed a child molester. According to a news article, he was diddling kids in the same time period he was in my shop. Ugh.

Cojawfee fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Jul 21, 2014

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012


SumYungGui posted:

What is the nastiest place people have bumped uglies during training that everyone knows of?

In training? DFS in a trench, caught on NVG.

Deployed, forward lower lobe of an AWACS.

Cenen
Apr 7, 2011
It probably wasn't super dirty but people would bang in that pavilion on the parade grounds at Sheppard. Dirty would have to go to behind (urban legend says in but I doubt it) the dumpsters behind the old med dorms but that seemed retarded since you could just run across the roof and do it inside.

E: Running trails at Manas. That ~sometimes~ padlocked door on a chainlinked fence always left me feeling super secure but at least it gave people the chance to gently caress on IR. Still can't believe that we A. left those worthless inbred fucks permanent structures and B. that we cleaned them out before we left. Not like they didn't live in their own filth anyway.

Cenen fucked around with this message at 12:40 on Jul 21, 2014

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

Cenen posted:

E: Running trails at Manas.

The proper name for those trails is Handjob Forest.

We had a genius on my crew. He slipped one of the Kyrgyz shuttle drivers thirty bucks' worth of Com, closed up the blinds and straight bang bus'ed it out while the driver drove in slow circles until he was done. Probably got bed bugs on his poo poo but it's still about the best way I've heard.

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.
Porta shitters and dumpsters at Camp Victory. Not sure why since there were plenty better places but I know it happened.

Anywhere on a ship. First deployment they busted a couple grinding it out in an F-14 intake in the middle of the night. Most hilarious was sandbox liberty in Dubai where a dude had his girl bent over behind one of the food shacks with about 8 other dudes watching the show.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

At Fort Sam it was a tradition to bang in the bushes outside of the 232 dfac. Or in the music practice rooms in the Hacienda.

On deployment, we had the ambulances with beds right in the back. No shitter loving for us.

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.

PLANES CURE TOWERS posted:

At Fort Sam it was a tradition to bang in the bushes outside of the 232 dfac. Or in the music practice rooms in the Hacienda.

On deployment, we had the ambulances with beds right in the back. No shitter loving for us.

Medical pogs have the distinct advantage of empty beds in the clinic.

Cenen
Apr 7, 2011
You'd think but from what I've gathered no one ever bothers to clean up afterword and gets caught pretty quick.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

vulturesrow posted:

Anywhere on a ship. First deployment they busted a couple grinding it out in an F-14 intake in the middle of the night.

Crew chief gonna get pissed at literal fuckery breaking the gently caress out of his plane.

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.

Cenen posted:

You'd think but from what I've gathered no one ever bothers to clean up afterword and gets caught pretty quick.

I know it definitely happens and yes they are usually stupid enough to get caught.


EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Crew chief gonna get pissed at literal fuckery breaking the gently caress out of his plane.

Tomcats were always broke anyhow.

pkells
Sep 14, 2007

King of Klatch
Worst I can remember is inside the TACAN and ILS shelters on the airfield. They weren't really dirty though. Hell, the TACAN shelter was finished inside and air conditioned, along with having a locked door. And you'd have about a 5 minute warning of anyone coming because they would have to get permission from the tower to drive onto the airfield.

I guess behind the washers in the laundry room at BMT is pretty gross too.

LCL-Dead
Apr 22, 2014

Grimey Drawer
I used to find it highly amusing, walking around Camp Fallujah at night to the chow hall for midrats or to the internet center to get a phone call in before whatever and having to walk past the dozens of porta-shitter lines, never failing to find the odd 2 or 3 shitters where sounds of soft slapping and not so well controlled grunting filled the space around it.

Tommy knocking porta shitters while people hosed inside was a pretty good time too. Had some people come running out I had never expected to see. Occifers and enlisted of all types..

Nastiest though would have had to of been the porta shitter on the east side of camp that the cleaners missed cleaning out about once a month. So you'd get poo poo stacked 6' above the bowl and could still catch pogs from CEB loving in it if you paid enough attention.

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
Concrete bunker in Afghanistan. A spider or something bit me on the rear end :( .

When I was Goodfellow I was walking to PT and caught two privates getting ready to go at it in some bushes. I threw my water bottle at them and they scattered.

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
bunker too, also unused CHUs and a bunch of mosquitos bit her in the rear end, lol.

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
That reminds me of an idiot story that involves me! When we were on Bagram my job involved sitting in a truck for hours and hours every night hoping for the possibility of getting to shoot rockets. Our firing point was in the middle of a bunch of bunkers that were dug into some dirt hills. After staring at these night after night we realized one had a rusty old lock on it that we could very easily cut with the bolt cutters in our truck. We busted the lock open and went inside. There was a lot of spiders, dust, and stacked up boxes. We kicked a couple boxes and walked in a little further and suddenly saw the giant stacks of mortar rounds, arty shells, and that all the boxes had little explosions drawn on them. We bolted out of there as fast as we could.

The next time we went out there we noticed a GIGANTIC padlock was slapped onto all the bunkers.

Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002



:wtf: Were these filled with some ancient Russian ordinance left over from the 80s or something?

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
That's what we guessed, but we didn't stick around long enough to investigate further.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


I jerked off a couple times in a portashitter during a winter exercise. The water froze over so all the poop was sitting on top of a sheet of ice. It was almost up to the seat when we left. The company we rented the thing from taped the vents up and put a cheap space heater inside, that failed a couple days in after trying to cope with -50 at night. The second time I did it I got a really bad headache so I might have breathed too many fumes or something. Don't think I'll ever do that again.

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

SumYungGui posted:

What is the nastiest place people have bumped uglies during training that everyone knows of? Best I got is between two dumpsters in the dumpster stall behind an AAFES gas station. Probably tame in comparison to what someone has seen, but it was pretty trashy between those dumpsters.

Had a female running a whorehouse of herself out of a portashitter in Iraq, but it was more the amount of dick she got that was obscene than the location. That, and how much she made.

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

PathAsc posted:

Had a female running a whorehouse of herself out of a portashitter in Iraq, but it was more the amount of dick she got that was obscene than the location. That, and how much she made.

Tell us more! This sounds like a much better story than

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Dingleberry posted:

Tell us more! This sounds like a much better story than


Moral of that story: maintain your personal weapon, and don't get caught. If you're about to get caught, eat a bullet.

sforzacio
Nov 6, 2012

PathAsc posted:

Had a female running a whorehouse of herself out of a portashitter in Iraq, but it was more the amount of dick she got that was obscene than the location. That, and how much she made.

generation fill

Sax Offender
Sep 9, 2007

College Slice

Dingleberry posted:

Tell us more! This sounds like a much better story than


I thought that had to be a photoshop, but nope--actual title.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

Derek Dominoe posted:

I thought that had to be a photoshop, but nope--actual title.

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002



Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

:vince:

sforzacio
Nov 6, 2012

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

Lmao

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

:drat:

krispykremessuck
Jul 22, 2005

unlike most veterans and SA members $10 is not a meaningful expenditure for me

I'm gonna have me a swag Bar-B-Q

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

boomshakalaka

vains
May 26, 2004

A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

lol

I thought I saw some once but it turned out it was just a range.

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

pvt lynch saw more combat than veins at the very least

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
i dont get it

Victor Vermis
Dec 21, 2004


WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Affi posted:

i dont get it

veins, unlike real marines (see: John Cena, Schneider's corpse) has never killed a man.

Cenen
Apr 7, 2011

Victor Vermis posted:

Schneider's corpse

Stay safe Poverty Ghost

PookBear
Nov 1, 2008

In eve online I scam people although I have recently taken a break. Last week I taught a friend my method and then yesterday I got a message that he had scammed someone out of the largest ship in eve. Turns out some guy had just gotten back from Afghanistan and spent over a thousand dollars of his deployment money buying internet money which he promptly got scammed out of.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Cenen posted:

Stay safe Poverty Ghost

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

Reverand maynard posted:

In eve online I scam people although I have recently taken a break. Last week I taught a friend my method and then yesterday I got a message that he had scammed someone out of the largest ship in eve. Turns out some guy had just gotten back from Afghanistan and spent over a thousand dollars of his deployment money buying internet money which he promptly got scammed out of.

turns out everyone in this story is scamming themselves by playing eve

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5