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swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action

Sandweed posted:

ISIS is doing a lot of hosed up poo poo though, the news ain't gonna cover it all because it's not getting views.

Yeah, in a vacuum it's a really good thing for him to be letting people know about but it's hugely hypocritical and ridiculous coming right at the end of a week of posts about how Israel is actually right to have killed hundreds of innocent people.

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Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010


Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

EL BROMANCE posted:

re: the pretty good breakdown of why 'nice guys' are overlooked


I'm not getting it, what is stupid about this? Why did you emphasise the bits you did? Are you a 'nice guy' that's taking offence over the piece? You do know what a 'nice guy' is, right?

I don't think he's saying it's stupid, he's just emphasising the argument that best refutes the whole Nice Guy mindset.

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

EL BROMANCE posted:

re: the pretty good breakdown of why 'nice guys' are overlooked


I'm not getting it, what is stupid about this? Why did you emphasise the bits you did? Are you a 'nice guy' that's taking offence over the piece? You do know what a 'nice guy' is, right?

The article's rules are pretty good advice for everyone, regardless of gender. But there are parts of the article where he gives examples directly to "nice guys" because he's tired of seeing them bitch on the cracked forums. This reply isn't actually to you. I thought about replying to White Dragon yesterday, but decided to just ignore the post since it sounds like he got it off of tumblr, out of context.

quote:

Let's try a non-money example so you don't get hung up on that. The demographic that Cracked writes for is heavy on 20-something males. So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

So, what do you bring to the table? Because the Zooey Deschanel lookalike in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do?
"What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"

No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?

"Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!"

I'm sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don't have, then back the gently caress away from the patient. There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising career ready to step in and operate.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/#ixzz38O2FqOYr


Cleretic posted:

I don't think he's saying it's stupid, he's just emphasising the argument that best refutes the whole Nice Guy mindset.
Ah. Yeah. It wasn't super clear.

Crain
Jun 27, 2007

I had a beer once with Stephen Miller and now I like him.

I also tried to ban someone from a Discord for pointing out what an unrelenting shithead I am! I'm even dumb enough to think it worked!


Resident drug fiend friend posted this. I can't really be mad at him since he's too stupid to understand anything related to cancer beyond "It bad, Weed make good, medicine BAAAAD!". He's just decided he's in the pseudo-hippie camp of naturopath healing with drugs so he blindly shares anything related to it.

He's basically the liberal version of a Tea Partyer.

I want to try and explain that there isn't a single cure for "cancer" because each type of cancer is very different and some are curable while others are potentially incurable. But it'll all just go over his head and I'll get "blaze it human being, weed cures all that's why illegal". :sigh:

cage-free egghead
Mar 8, 2004




Public advertisement comments are always a fun read. A surprising amount of people mentioned nothing but the woman in the front.

Excels
Mar 7, 2012

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

This looks like fun!



No illegal drugs? Sounds like a poo poo party

Excels
Mar 7, 2012

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

When I signed up for the Ride to Conquer Cancer (just finished my fourth year on crew) I remember grilling one lady about stupid conspiracy theories like this and she gave me a really good response;

"If cancer did have a cure, then our goal would be to make an affordable cure for everybody and not just the rich."

razorrozar
Feb 21, 2012

by Cyrano4747

Crain posted:

I want to try and explain that there isn't a single cure for "cancer" because each type of cancer is very different and some are curable while others are potentially incurable. But it'll all just go over his head and I'll get "blaze it human being, weed cures all that's why illegal". :sigh:

These guys bug me. I smoke weed, but to pretend I do it for reasons other than recreational is blatant lying and a disservice to those who need it for legit medical problems. I feel like people who pretend it has more medical value than it does hurt the fight for legalization.

Excels
Mar 7, 2012

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

razorrozar posted:

These guys bug me. I smoke weed, but to pretend I do it for reasons other than recreational is blatant lying and a disservice to those who need it for legit medical problems. I feel like people who pretend it has more medical value than it does hurt the fight for legalization.

i love living in ontario because drug culture is pretty much open season. they had a big gaming con at the ontario science center, everyone was on acid during the rave and none of the security guys cared, they were really chill about everything and nobody gave anyone else a hard time.

i've toked while walking around with friends at a theme park.

really they will only get pissed if you act like a douchebag about it.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

Excels posted:

When I signed up for the Ride to Conquer Cancer (just finished my fourth year on crew) I remember grilling one lady about stupid conspiracy theories like this and she gave me a really good response;

"If cancer did have a cure, then our goal would be to make an affordable cure for everybody and not just the rich."

The thing that baffles me most is how so many people screaming about the cure for cancer being deliberately hidden thoroughly fail to understand cancer at all. Cancer is not one disease that a magical cure exists for. Some cancers respond to treatment A, some respond to treatment B. Aside from that we have, in fact, actually cured most cancers in that we have working treatments that fix the patient almost all of the time, especially if cancer is caught early. Hell I used to work with a guy that was in his 90s and had cancer four times. Each time it was an easily fixed version that they caught really early. A few pills, a day or two in the hospital, maybe some minor surgery, and dude was good to go. Nobody was intentionally making him sicker just to profit.

But you can't tell them that, it's always "but this person I used to know paid $500,000 in medical bills then died anyway!" Well, no poo poo, medicine is hard and nothing medical ever has a 100% success rate. Doesn't mean that it's all useless.

Crain
Jun 27, 2007

I had a beer once with Stephen Miller and now I like him.

I also tried to ban someone from a Discord for pointing out what an unrelenting shithead I am! I'm even dumb enough to think it worked!

ToxicSlurpee posted:

The thing that baffles me most is how so many people screaming about the cure for cancer being deliberately hidden thoroughly fail to understand cancer at all. Cancer is not one disease that a magical cure exists for. Some cancers respond to treatment A, some respond to treatment B. Aside from that we have, in fact, actually cured most cancers in that we have working treatments that fix the patient almost all of the time, especially if cancer is caught early. Hell I used to work with a guy that was in his 90s and had cancer four times. Each time it was an easily fixed version that they caught really early. A few pills, a day or two in the hospital, maybe some minor surgery, and dude was good to go. Nobody was intentionally making him sicker just to profit.

But you can't tell them that, it's always "but this person I used to know paid $500,000 in medical bills then died anyway!" Well, no poo poo, medicine is hard and nothing medical ever has a 100% success rate. Doesn't mean that it's all useless.

They basically think there is a loving potion out there that just gets rid of any cancer you have and makes you immune to it from then on.

So what they really want is a vaccine.

Small Fry
Mar 2, 2013
I should preface this by saying that while I am not an oncologist, I am a surgeon and I have experience with cancer. People don't seem to understand that a large part of cancer treatment can be preventative; eating healthy, exercising, not doing drugs (or smoking), and not being massive idiots about what you do and put into your body can all significantly decrease the likelihood of developing cancer. There are more than 100 types of cancer, and barring some rare and exotic types, most have success rates approaching 100% if caught early enough! So please, take care of your body, and deal with the colonoscopies and prostate exams, because the best way to stop cancer is to catch it early and kill it fast.

PervertedLogic
Aug 14, 2003

Crain posted:

They basically think there is a loving potion out there that just gets rid of any cancer you have and makes you immune to it from then on.

So what they really want is a vaccine.

Ahahahahahah. Yeah, that would go over well.

Of course, they already have a vaccine for cervical cancer (I know HPV but it amounts to the same thing) and look how well that's worked.

Excels
Mar 7, 2012

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!
Also if they discovered a cure for cancer, our overpopulation problem on Earth would get serious pretty fast. Disease is sort of a thing that has to happen if we want to conserve our planet's resources.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

Excels posted:

Also if they discovered a cure for cancer, our overpopulation problem on Earth would get serious pretty fast. Disease is sort of a thing that has to happen if we want to conserve our planet's resources.

Or we could, you know, make fewer babies. I'm pretty sure that would work.

Excels
Mar 7, 2012

Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Or we could, you know, make fewer babies. I'm pretty sure that would work.

There's no way to control that short of making it law to only have one child per household like China or something.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

Excels posted:

There's no way to control that short of making it law to only have one child per household like China or something.

If you look at the numbers increasing educational opportunities actually makes that irrelevant. Developed, highly educated countries tend to develop much lower birth rates over time. I don't think it would be a horrifying idea to make birth control free and cap the number of children people can have. Or give some sort of incentive to not have 15 children.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Excels posted:

There's no way to control that short of making it law to only have one child per household like China or something.

The best way to lower population is generally agreed to be providing educational and career opportunities for low-income people, especially low-income women. Cheap or free contraception is the second most effective way.

Islam is the Lite Rock FM
Jul 27, 2007

by exmarx
Get rid of cancer and some other disease will take its place. Basically, we're hosed regardless so go get wasted or high or whatever.

Squallege
Jan 7, 2006

No greater good, no just cause

Grimey Drawer

Crain posted:



Resident drug fiend friend posted this. I can't really be mad at him since he's too stupid to understand anything related to cancer beyond "It bad, Weed make good, medicine BAAAAD!". He's just decided he's in the pseudo-hippie camp of naturopath healing with drugs so he blindly shares anything related to it.

He's basically the liberal version of a Tea Partyer.

I want to try and explain that there isn't a single cure for "cancer" because each type of cancer is very different and some are curable while others are potentially incurable. But it'll all just go over his head and I'll get "blaze it human being, weed cures all that's why illegal". :sigh:

I've got a statement to make. Better bust out the ol' scotch tape!

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

DemeaninDemon posted:

Get rid of cancer and some other disease will take its place. Basically, we're hosed regardless so go get wasted or high or whatever.

I think the funniest thing is when people post stats like more people are dying of cancer now than ever in history. Well yeah, no poo poo, it's because we cured all the other poo poo that would have killed us before we got cancer. On top of that record keeping is better now and a lot of cancer deaths were written up as "old age" and left at that.

Tetracube
Feb 12, 2014

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Destroying cancer would upset the delicate balance between good and evil. A worse disease would surely take its place.

Here's a bad blog: http://ask-fury-belle.tumblr.com/

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.
most cancers occur after childbearing age anyway. That 1 in 3 figure that's always bandied about is heavily skewed to 50+ people, like 80-90% of cancers occur in this age group

Crain
Jun 27, 2007

I had a beer once with Stephen Miller and now I like him.

I also tried to ban someone from a Discord for pointing out what an unrelenting shithead I am! I'm even dumb enough to think it worked!

ToxicSlurpee posted:

I think the funniest thing is when people post stats like more people are dying of cancer now than ever in history. Well yeah, no poo poo, it's because we cured all the other poo poo that would have killed us before we got cancer. On top of that record keeping is better now and a lot of cancer deaths were written up as "old age" and left at that.

Get rid of Cancer and there will just be another #1 killer of people (in XYZ demographic). Eventually you're going to start hitting the upper limit of cell life anyway. You're going to start having your genome run out of junk DNA to lost on replication and it'll start forgetting how mitochondria are supposed to work or something. Humans aren't meant to live forever, something will eventually kill us (outside of accidents and purposeful death).

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Who wants to live forever?





When love must die o/~ o/~

FouRPlaY
May 5, 2010

Christmas Present posted:

so I'm about to defriend this dipshit; can't really remember why we're Facebook friends. I'm involved in local standup comedy, so it's probably a friend of a comic or someone who came to a show or whatever. There's something about this guy that goes beyond the usual idiot.

the image that made my eyes roll so hard I hit unfriend:



If your scene is like mine, it was one of the comics. And it will be his closer.

Apogee15
Jun 16, 2013
I would totally want to live forever, assuming I got to keep my mind and can still move around and do things.

Ninjasaurus
Feb 11, 2014

This is indeed a disturbing universe.

I haven't reached the point yet where sexualizing My Little Pony doesn't faze me so... UGH.

Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



FouRPlaY posted:

If your scene is like mine, it was one of the comics. And it will be his closer.

yeah Kansas City isn't exactly the most progressive scene, and this guy's from Independence, MO, where he's practically a bleeding heart.
That said, I don't think this guy was a comic; he never struck me as the kind of guy that has the guts to get behind a microphone, and he's just too bland. I have another Facebook friend (also from Independence) who is a local comic, and posts chemtrail/NWO/Dees/WAKE UP bullshit, but is also funny enough to keep on my feed.

Blind Pineapple
Oct 27, 2010

For The Perfect Fruit 'n' Kaman

1 part gin
1 part pomegranate syrup
Fill with pineapple juice
Serve over crushed ice

College Slice
How many things can one image be wrong about?

Gimnbo
Feb 13, 2012

e m b r a c e
t r a n q u i l i t y



Tetracube posted:

Destroying cancer would upset the delicate balance between good and evil. A worse disease would surely take its place.

Here's a bad blog: http://ask-fury-belle.tumblr.com/



He (she? no, definitely he) unironically typed "maregina."

Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



Gimnbo posted:

He (she? no, definitely he) unironically typed "maregina."

I was going to reply that I'm pretty sure there's some irony here like they could be really into ponies but are clearly mocking the fandom nonetheless but then I clicked on the blog

quote:

More Checked Privilege art - and Sweetie’s really going to hate this one! It’s censored for the sensitive, so if you want to find out the real cause of CP’s gender confusion follow this NSFW link! http:// HAHA NOPE

The Iron Rose
May 12, 2012

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
I finally have something to share! Not sure if I'm being the idiot on facebook or not here, but someone certainly is.


My stepsister is Will Power, I'm (appropriately) Greta Life. The rest are all her friends who started out reasonable enough


Then it kinda gets worse from there.

And worse, and worse, and worse.

Then you have someone who thinks the IDF is being too humane, of all things.

I do political analysis work. I... kinda got annoyed.


I don't think I was too outta line, was I?

casual poster
Jun 29, 2009

So casual.

ToxicSlurpee posted:

I think the funniest thing is when people post stats like more people are dying of cancer now than ever in history. Well yeah, no poo poo, it's because we cured all the other poo poo that would have killed us before we got cancer. On top of that record keeping is better now and a lot of cancer deaths were written up as "old age" and left at that.

Whenever I've heard someone say "more people are dying of this than ever before!" I've always thought "well yeah, there's a few billion more people living today than there was back than, it's bound to increase," and have never understood the logic behind what they were saying.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

casual poster posted:

Whenever I've heard someone say "more people are dying of this than ever before!" I've always thought "well yeah, there's a few billion more people living today than there was back than, it's bound to increase," and have never understood the logic behind what they were saying.

Usually I hear it in the idea of "a higher percentage of people die of cancer now than 100 years ago, it's because of X" but yeah that's just as stupid. It's also usually heaped with pseudoscience and bullshit like raw foodism and what have you. Sure contemporary eating habits are frequently horrifyingly awful but it's used to convince people that refusing to see a doctor, ever, while using milk thistle and eating nothing but broccoli and oranges will make you literally immortal.

Hihohe
Oct 4, 2008

Fuck you and the sun you live under


If you avoided everything that supposedly causes cancer you'd probably die of starvation if you didn't already die from suffocation or thirst.

Higgy
Jul 6, 2005



Grimey Drawer

Hihohe posted:

If you avoided everything that supposedly causes cancer you'd probably die of starvation if you didn't already die from suffocation or thirst.

Fact: Everyone that has had cancer has had a drink of water. What isn't the government telling us? #Illuminati #flouride #sheeple


From Grandma-in-law (in this exact order all within a few hours of each other):



cage-free egghead
Mar 8, 2004
Nothing gets me more motivated to start doing more for my country with my brothers than a nice, hearty facebook image!

Islam is the Lite Rock FM
Jul 27, 2007

by exmarx
What's all that nitrogen doing in the air? That's right causing cancer. There's even an n in cancer for nitrogen.

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ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

Hihohe posted:

If you avoided everything that supposedly causes cancer you'd probably die of starvation if you didn't already die from suffocation or thirst.

One of my favorite books ever was called "Everything Is Bad For You." You can prove that literally anything is, in fact, bad for you and wow did that book accomplish that.

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