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duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

Messyass posted:

here you go:

- Bing

probably what it would end up being. the bing browser.

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duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

AtomD posted:

2) Flow
it's so fast and fluid. market it with rap music to appeal to the kids


this would get a lot of traction because of the tie-in to the "Fast and Fluid" messaging

not even joking

just suggest will.i.am or will smith for the rap part because old white people love rappres named will and you're set

pagancow
Jan 15, 2001

Video Stymie

Wiggly Wayne DDS
Sep 11, 2010



minivanmegafun
Jul 27, 2004


if you're involved in graphics print this out and stick it on your desk to give the neckbeard it guy who wanders by and mutters about how photoshop works just as fine on windows than a Mac and you shouldn't be a special flower

pagancow
Jan 15, 2001

Video Stymie

tbf if you're in a production enviroment and just installing every update that comes willy nilly you are asking for problems.

Number19
May 14, 2003

HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH


pagancow posted:

tbf if you're in a production enviroment and just installing every update that comes willy nilly you are asking for problems.

i have a minimum 1 week testing period for security updates so thankfully this only get installed on my test stations

i feel bad for all the home users who won't hear about this and will be stuck in bluescreen hell

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
what's this black screen nonsense? I done care if they changed the color, it will always be a blue screen.

Number19
May 14, 2003

HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH


windows 8/8.1 will sometimes just ist at a black screen with no error at all if there's a problem with updates

it still has a blue screen where it shows you a sad face and a more "user friendly" error message

bring back old gbs
Feb 28, 2007

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Number19 posted:

windows 8/8.1 will sometimes just ist at a black screen with no error at all if there's a problem with updates

it still has a blue screen where it shows you a sad face and a more "user friendly" error message

this is true and its a v improved user experience

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock

windows 8.1: a bsod is still better than metro

mod sassinator
Dec 13, 2006
I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

duTrieux. posted:

probably what it would end up being. the bing browser.

was going to suggest that too. it's so bad it must be what they choose

mod sassinator
Dec 13, 2006
I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass
maybe just shorten it to the binger

open up the binger and go to msn.com!

suffix
Jul 27, 2013

Wheeee!

mod sassinator posted:

open up MSN .NET and go to msn.com!

Pinterest Mom
Jun 9, 2009

http://instagram.com/p/r2jjTdhQFx/

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

I LOVE THIS COMPANY TEAM

Athletic Footjob
Sep 24, 2005
Grimey Drawer
DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVECLIPPERS CLIPPERS CLIPPERS CLIPPERS

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

Athletic Footjob posted:

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVECLIPPY CLIPPY CLIPPY CLIPPY

pagancow
Jan 15, 2001

Video Stymie

http://www.theverge.com/2014/8/18/6033963/steve-ballmer-is-very-excited-to-be-the-new-owner-of-the-la-clippers

video embeded of the speech

pagancow
Jan 15, 2001

Video Stymie

Steve Balmer has found his new place. Sports is where he needs to be, this speech is incredible

qirex
Feb 15, 2001

looking forward to ridiculous prop bets between him and mark cuban

Workaday Wizard
Oct 23, 2009

by Pragmatica
the ballmer is the best wwf wrestler that never was

Dixie Cretin Seaman
Jan 22, 2008

all hat and one catte
Hot Rope Guy

Space-Pope
Aug 13, 2003

by zen death robot

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

the b-17 ballmer is the best wwf wrestler that never was

AtomD
May 3, 2009

Fun Shoe

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

the ballmer is the best wwf wrestler that never was

i think him playing ceo of a wwe type thing would literally get me watching wrestling

Fabricated
Apr 9, 2007

Living the Dream
Yeah, "some" machines

like try 200+ machines in the building my office is in. Thankfully for some reason the majority did it last friday. We just had our student workers go and redeploy them since we were going to do that anyway, and it takes all of 10 seconds to start.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

the ballmer is the best wwf wrestler that never was

sorry, he's Steve The Embalmer Ballmer

Juul-Whip
Mar 10, 2008

AtomD posted:

windows is utter garbage just fuckin rebuild it from the ground up

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

Fabricated posted:

Yeah, "some" machines

like try 200+ machines in the building my office is in. Thankfully for some reason the majority did it last friday. We just had our student workers go and redeploy them since we were going to do that anyway, and it takes all of 10 seconds to start.

idk, works for me

Messyass
Dec 23, 2003

duTrieux. posted:

probably what it would end up being. the bing browser.

of course if they wanted to do that they should have done it when they first launched bing

but if it wasn't half-assed it wouldn't be microsoft

anthonypants
May 6, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo
Dinosaur Gum

duTrieux. posted:

microsoft's messaging department is basically just surgeon simulator 2013 but with a word processor instead of a human body
quoting again from page 12, because drat

Wheany
Mar 17, 2006

Spinyahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Doctor Rope

Number19 posted:

it still has a blue screen where it shows you a sad face and a more "user friendly" error message

i loving hate cutesy error messages like that. windows xp had the perfect tone for the error messages with "shitapp has encountered a problem and needs to close."

all kinds of "aww, snap", "bad panda", ":(" and even "well, this is rather embarrassing" errors just feel like the program or web page is condescending me. "aww, baby got a boo boo? baby can't handle a real error message?"

those things could happen after i lose a significant amount of work, like this essay i'm writing in right now

Scott Forstall
Aug 16, 2003

MMM THAT FAUX LEATHER
Paul's on vacation, but that doesn't mean he can't provide insightful commentary into the complex technology industry.

quote:

Take, for example, The Motley Fool. This site, aimed at the financial investment community, has just declared that Microsoft should "concede" the smart phone market to Android and Apple. Except that it wasn't written like that. It was written like "Apple and Android." It's apparently important that Apple be first for some reason. Even though Apple is a distant second. It's not even alphabetically first.

What kind of rankles me is comments like this. "Microsoft ... has clearly become the No. 3 player in smartphones. Unfortunately, the company is at best Royal Crown Cola to Android's Coke and Apple's Pepsi."

That's a great line. Really funny, even memorable. But is it true?

According to this report, Coke controls 42 percent of the total carbonated soft drink market, compared with Pepsi's 30 percent. (Obviously, not my area.) And here's what a bar chart of that market looks like. (Minus Royal Crown, sorry.)



Here's what the comparable chart for smart phone market share looks like, using IDC's numbers. (I threw in Windows Phone for the heck of it.)



Those charts aren't the same. They're not even close. But this guy—who is there to give you investment advice by the way—can throw out a factoid (i.e a lie) like that and it just hangs in the air unchallenged. Windows Phone is like Royal Crown Cola. No one drinks Royal Crown Cola. Do they even make Royal Crown Cola? It just adds to the collection of preemptive obituaries out there, that growing perception of failure. We cannot allow that kind of thing to go unchallenged.

Mr. Apollo
Nov 8, 2000

lol he mad

Just-In-Timeberlake
Aug 18, 2003
It's great how MS allows a user to set an .lnk open with a default program, like Excel for example, and the only way to fix it is download some loving registry file to fix it.

also I hate my users.

univbee
Jun 3, 2004




Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

It's great how MS allows a user to set an .lnk open with a default program, like Excel for example, and the only way to fix it is download some loving registry file to fix it.

also I hate my users.

you haven't truly cj'ed until you've seen this happen with EXE files. fun things happen when that occurs

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock

hello i'm internet explorer and today i will be popping a save dialog and closing whenever you try to open a web page

AtomD
May 3, 2009

Fun Shoe
ms is trying so hard to make the xbone appealing to gamerz that their new video player actually plays mkvs

im a guy who made the wrong decision 6 months ago:
xbox play demolition underscore man dot seven twenty pee dot scene dot em kay vee. hehe bet your ps4 cant do that

AtomD
May 3, 2009

Fun Shoe
tbh if i was gonna buy a console id probably buy the xbone just because it would be exciting to see how bad a decision it would turn out to be over the course of 5 years

not even joking im really that dumb

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flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock

sony does what xbon't

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