Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Luigi Thirty posted:

no it's okay we're going to release exciting new products in 1997 such as a digital camera with a floppy disk drive and a kit that lets you connect your Mac to apple eWorld for only $15 per hour

apple was such a basket case/dumpster fire in the mid-1990s that every a- or b-list executive they approached about taking over after spindler flamed out turned them down, so they were forced to go with c-lister amelio, who was the mildly competent head of national semiconductor. amelio was pretty clearly ordered to find a buyer for apple, so he set about cutting overhead and trying to pitch the company. apple was in such bad shape that multiple companies passed on buying apple, even at a discount (sun, sony, and disney all shot apple down). with no suitors, amelio had to make a go of it as a standalone company, and job one was doing something about the obsolete mac os, which led to them buying next, and the return of steve jobs, and the rest is history.

amelio was a hatchet man brought in by the board to sell the company for parts. when no one wanted it, he brought jobs in and shrugged as jobs elbowed him aside and took control. he was never meant to be a guy with vision and passion and drive, so im kind of inclined to give him a pass. he also deserves some credit for shutting down a lot of peripheral projects and firing a lot of dead wood employees which made things a lot easier for jobs to do his turnaround - amelio had done a lot of the cutting and trimming for him. but yeah, for the most part to call him an empty suit is pretty much an insult to suits and the entire abstract concept of emptiness.

# ? Aug 25, 2014 21:56

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# ? May 17, 2024 11:16

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

gil bought next and while he was a dummy, he was responsible for getting jobs back to apple which makes him better than faggots-at-large sculley and spindler

# ? Aug 25, 2014 22:07

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

Last Chance posted:

faggots-at-large

hello, we don't use this word around here

# ? Aug 25, 2014 22:15

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

graph posted:

hello, we don't use this word around here

Last Chance posted:

faggots-at-big

fixed for the rules

# ? Aug 25, 2014 22:17

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

homo punching bag posted:

fixed for the rules

he meant "@". its a computer forum

# ? Aug 25, 2014 22:20

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Beeftweeter posted:

he meant "@". its a computer forum

lmao im extremely fail @ life

# ? Aug 25, 2014 22:22

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

graph posted:

hello, we don't use this word around here

yea i know, i'm feeling squirrely this afternoon. perhaps i've had too much coffee

# ? Aug 25, 2014 22:27

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

graph posted:

i was present at both keynotes

did you touch him???

# ? Aug 26, 2014 01:21

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

theadder posted:

did you touch him???

# ? Aug 26, 2014 01:51

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

graph posted:

no

=///

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:47

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

wahh wahh http://online.wsj.com/news/article_email/huawei-is-shaking-up-the-smartphone-market-1408908924-lMyQjAxMTA0MDIwNTEyNDUyWj

quote:

WSJ: For most handset makers Android is the only option. Is that a problem?

Mr. Yu: It's difficult to say. We have tried using the Windows Phone OS. But it has been difficult to persuade consumers to buy a Windows phone. It wasn't profitable for us. We were losing money for two years on those phones. So for now we've decided to put any releases of new Windows phones on hold. We have worries about Android being the only option, but we have no choice. And we have a good collaboration with Google.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 07:27

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

mod sassinator posted:

wahh wahh http://online.wsj.com/news/article_email/huawei-is-shaking-up-the-smartphone-market-1408908924-lMyQjAxMTA0MDIwNTEyNDUyWj

Huawei is right for doing this, they cant even enter american markets because the red china!!! will steal my amazon wishlist

good on them for fistfucking an american company back. google gets a pass though they can do no wrong

# ? Aug 26, 2014 07:31

ClassActionFursuit: Mar 15, 2006

mod sassinator posted:

wahh wahh http://online.wsj.com/news/article_email/huawei-is-shaking-up-the-smartphone-market-1408908924-lMyQjAxMTA0MDIwNTEyNDUyWj

that guy seems a lot more competent than id expect a smartphone manufacturer to be tbqh

not that the bar of "knowing windows phone and tizen are dead ends going nowhere" is particularly high but still thats better than samsung or htc

# ? Aug 26, 2014 08:58

cowboy beepboop: Feb 24, 2001

homo punching bag posted:

Huawei is right for doing this, they cant even enter american markets because the red china!!! will steal my amazon wishlist

good on them for fistfucking an american company back. google gets a pass though they can do no wrong

the funny thing is cisco have all the same backdoors but it's ok when your own gov does it apparently

# ? Aug 26, 2014 09:19

ClassActionFursuit: Mar 15, 2006

my stepdads beer posted:

the funny thing is cisco have all the same backdoors but it's ok when your own gov does it apparently

yeah it kinda is

i mean its not ideal but if you have to pick one or the other

# ? Aug 26, 2014 10:06

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

Space-Pope posted:

reminds me of the end of ip man, where apparently the japanese army just unconditionally surrenders at the end of world war 2. except it's implied that they surrendered to china

Lol

Stepping in to say iron monkey 2 owns. Not so much the first one

# ? Aug 26, 2014 15:57

Blackula69: Apr 1, 2007; ＤＥＨＵＭＡＮＩＺＥＹＯＵＲＳＥＬＦ＆ＦＡＣＥＴＯＢＬＡＣＵＬＡ

seriously though watch that korean movie I linked it's really fun and great and has some amazing stuntwork including an extended sequence inspired by the Warriors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMjDlYtXtuU

# ? Aug 26, 2014 18:06

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

quote:

The Wall Street Journal has published a fascinating look at the post-Microsoft life of former CEO Steve Ballmer, who spent 34 years at the company before stepping down in February and later buying the LA Clippers basketball team. Ballmer reportedly watched 100 episodes of The Good Wife in two weeks at home in an "atypical glum mood" before deciding what to do with his new-found free time.

But once he'd settled on buying the Clippers following the fallout from racist remarks made by previous owner Donald Sterling, Ballmer was by no means confident he'd get his team. "Oprah? How do I compete with her?" he reportedly asked his advisers after finding out that the TV personality was also interested. Donald Sterling's estranged wife Shelly wasn't sure either, asking a girlfriend "Who is Steve Ballmer?" but finding herself won over by the Microsoft man's passion and pledge to keep the Clippers in LA. "Steve is my favorite. I would have considered a lower bid to get him as the owner," she told her lawyer.

Before Ballmer's exuberant, amazing introduction as the Clippers' owner (set to Eminem's "Lose Yourself"), he was nervous for his first meeting with the players over dinner, and asked team coach Doc Rivers to tell him how he did later. Rivers received texts from most of the players, according to the Journal, with one saying "Thanks for tonight. Been here a long time. Never had such a meaningful dinner with the owner before."

# ? Aug 26, 2014 20:23

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

lol 'Donald Sterling's estranged wife Shelly wasn't sure either, asking a girlfriend "Who is Steve Ballmer?" but finding herself won over by the Microsoft man's passion and pledge to keep the Clippers in LA. "Steve is my favorite. I would have considered a lower bid to get him as the owner," she told her lawyer.' that owns

# ? Aug 26, 2014 20:31

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

graph posted:

lol 'Donald Sterling's estranged wife Shelly wasn't sure either, asking a girlfriend "Who is Steve Ballmer?" but finding herself won over by the Microsoft man's passion and pledge to keep the Clippers in LA. "Steve is my favorite. I would have considered a lower bid to get him as the owner," she told her lawyer.' that owns

"I used to watch that show Dinosaurs all the time when I was a kid, so when I found out the baby grew up and wanted to buy a basketball team I considered the offer."

# ? Aug 26, 2014 20:35

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

Ballmer reportedly watched 100 episodes of The Good Wife in two weeks at home in an "atypical glum mood"

lmao i wonder how many pints of ben and jerrys he powered through during his malaise

# ? Aug 26, 2014 20:35

Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

homo punching bag posted:

"I used to watch that show Dinosaurs all the time when I was a kid, so when I found out the baby grew up and wanted to buy a basketball team I considered the offer."

lol

# ? Aug 26, 2014 20:36

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

homo punching bag posted:

"I used to watch that show Dinosaurs all the time when I was a kid, so when I found out the baby grew up and wanted to buy a basketball team I considered the offer."

# ? Aug 26, 2014 20:40

Sniep: Mar 28, 2004; All I needed was that fatty blunt...

King of Breakfast

we're going to need another timmy!

# ? Aug 26, 2014 20:51

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

surface 3 is such poo poo, manages to be worse than surface 2 in practically every way

screen is garbage, they got rid of glass to make it lighter or something with the result that when you press on it with the pressure sensitive pen, the colours get all distorted

fan runs all the loving time compared to the surface 2

3d definitely feels worse, maybe some power saving thing? maybe it expects me to manually janitor video settings every time I want to do something in 3d?

they changed pen suppliers from wacom (knows what they're doing) to random china company no one's heard of (doesn't), feels exactly like going from a mac trackpad to a windows trackpad - in theory everything works the same but feels like poo poo

amazing

# ? Aug 26, 2014 21:54

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

homo punching bag posted:

"I used to watch that show Dinosaurs all the time when I was a kid, so when I found out the baby grew up and wanted to buy a basketball team I considered the offer."

# ? Aug 26, 2014 21:57

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Internaut! posted:

surface 3 is such poo poo, manages to be worse than surface 2 in practically every way

screen is garbage, they got rid of glass to make it lighter or something with the result that when you press on it with the pressure sensitive pen, the colours get all distorted

fan runs all the loving time compared to the surface 2

3d definitely feels worse, maybe some power saving thing? maybe it expects me to manually janitor video settings every time I want to do something in 3d?

they changed pen suppliers from wacom (knows what they're doing) to random china company no one's heard of (doesn't), feels exactly like going from a mac trackpad to a windows trackpad - in theory everything works the same but feels like poo poo

amazing

click in

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:05

DaNzA: Sep 11, 2001; :D; Grimey Drawer

Internaut! posted:

surface 3 is such poo poo, manages to be worse than surface 2 in practically every way

screen is garbage, they got rid of glass to make it lighter or something with the result that when you press on it with the pressure sensitive pen, the colours get all distorted

fan runs all the loving time compared to the surface 2

3d definitely feels worse, maybe some power saving thing? maybe it expects me to manually janitor video settings every time I want to do something in 3d?

they changed pen suppliers from wacom (knows what they're doing) to random china company no one's heard of (doesn't), feels exactly like going from a mac trackpad to a windows trackpad - in theory everything works the same but feels like poo poo

amazing

the n-trig garbage is actually an israeli company and on paper it's supposed to be the same/better with the specs but when i tried it in store it just felt laggy too for some reason, this is comparing it to the original surface pro which is lol

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:06

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

homo punching bag posted:

"I used to watch that show Dinosaurs all the time when I was a kid, so when I found out the baby grew up and wanted to buy a basketball team I considered the offer."

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:09

FamDav: Mar 29, 2008

Internaut! posted:

screen is garbage, they got rid of glass to make it lighter or something with the result that when you press on it with the pressure sensitive pen, the colours get all distorted

how did the lowest level person with any authority to fix it see this and think "this is ok"

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:15

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

FMguru posted:

lmao i wonder how many pints of ben and jerrys he powered through during his malaise

I bet he has one of those big wine glasses that holds a whole bottle

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:15

Space-Pope: Aug 13, 2003; by zen death robot

FamDav posted:

how did the lowest level person with any authority to fix it see this and think "this is ok"

"oh god literally no one is buying this poo poo we've got to cut costs anywhere we can"

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:18

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

someone at work who purchased a surface3 two weeks ago already lost the stylus

they are 50 bux lol

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:20

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

qirex posted:

I bet he has one of those big wine glasses that holds a whole bottle

those own, drinking wine (alone) owns

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:20

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

mishaq posted:

those own, drinking (alone) owns (for establishing a good sleep cycle)

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:21

Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

i'm going to eat a cheese pizza and drink a bunch of wine tonight ftw

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:28

Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

oops for a second i thought i was in the cjs thread because of the posts about drinking i sometimes forget every yospos thread is also about drinking, we regret the error

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:29

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

graph posted:

someone at work who purchased a surface3 two weeks ago already lost the stylus

they are 50 bux lol

oh yeah they also got rid of the magnet thing that held the stylus in place on the surface 2, with predictable results

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:29

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

the surface 3 is like the xbone, they're coming off of a blank check project with a break-even one and surprise it's not very good

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:30

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# ? May 17, 2024 11:16

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Internaut! posted:

oh yeah they also got rid of the magnet thing that held the stylus in place on the surface 2, with predictable results

what??? i mean the magnet sucked but it's the only other solution when they refuse to add a lil slot for it

# ? Aug 26, 2014 22:41

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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