Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Amethyst posted:

hahahahahahhaahah epic s use l33t speak.

I know nothing about internet culture despite spending 14 hours a day online

configuring active directory too many times has rendered me both impotent and mentally stunted

the thing he said ur name was is a thing what grows on a butt fyi

# ? Sep 3, 2014 05:31

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 15:20

Fayez Butts: Aug 24, 2006

Miley Virus posted:

yeah it's not like microsoft has been wildly inconsistent w/r/t design before

bastions of design integrity, they are

lets be realistic here

ya boy nadella isn't gonna call for another complete overhaul of the windows design language -- let alone switch from their artisinal custom font that they rebranded their entire company with -- this soon

# ? Sep 3, 2014 06:10

HAIL eSATA-n: Apr 7, 2007

they're going to rename "microsoft", "windows", "internet explorer", and "one" because they've been using all of them far too long

# ? Sep 3, 2014 06:14

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

outlook is poo poo on every device

does anyone use slack, flow dock or hip chat? can it replace outlook/lync.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 06:24

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

Amethyst posted:

shut the gently caress up you unbelievably tedious motherfucker

Amethyst Was Right

# ? Sep 3, 2014 06:30

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

carry on then posted:

it timed how long the boot took and stored that in a file, the next boot it would read the length of time and set the progress bar to take that much time to go from 0 to 100 no matter what.

praise him

# ? Sep 3, 2014 06:43

Fayez Butts: Aug 24, 2006

there i just made a better fake logo

# ? Sep 3, 2014 06:46

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

PleasureKevin posted:

outlook is poo poo on every device

does anyone use slack, flow dock or hip chat? can it replace outlook/lync.

slack looks pretty awesome

# ? Sep 3, 2014 07:01

MeruFM: Jul 27, 2010

PleasureKevin posted:

outlook is poo poo on every device

does anyone use slack, flow dock or hip chat? can it replace outlook/lync.

list the top 5 reasons you still need to use outlook/lync and find replacements that meet those requirements?

we just use gchat for IM and campfire for teamchat and deployment.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 07:31

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Fayez Butts posted:

lets be realistic here

ya boy nadella isn't gonna call for another complete overhaul of the windows design language -- let alone switch from their artisinal custom font that they rebranded their entire company with -- this soon

no its gonna be at least another 6 months

# ? Sep 3, 2014 07:57

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

MeruFM posted:

list the top 5 reasons you still need to use outlook/lync and find replacements that meet those requirements?

we just use gchat for IM and campfire for teamchat and deployment.

1. to get notified of changes to things (jira mostly)
2. general announcements about poo poo, overtime, absences
3. chatting to a person
4. group chats like 2 or 3 times a day lmfao
5. sending a file maybe?

# ? Sep 3, 2014 08:09

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

the bug is with the default mode for UAC with Win7 is one notch above full (unlike vista which was full on/off).

the problem is with the design of UAC in the first place, it hacks a ton of APIs to say"Do you want to let ___ do ___?" when not called by a process with the proper rights, when instead those APIs should return "go gently caress yourself" and make software developers rewrite their poo poo with proper separation of privileges (and stop writing their own goddamn installers when the OS provides one)

but no, gotta be compatible with shovelware from 1992, someone might care, so UAC it is! and if people are trained to just click through alerts as a side effect, well they should just pay more attention, because freedom!

# ? Sep 3, 2014 09:27

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

PleasureKevin posted:

Everything uses nested pop-ups. Creating an Outlook search folder opens a New Search Folder pop-up, creating a custom search opens Custome Search Folder pop-up over that, then creating criteria opens Search Folder Criteria over that. Creating a new folder also creates a pop-up instead of creating a folder with a temporary name like "New Folder".

windows developers all learned from a stupid tutorial involving presenting an alert and never learned that modes are deeply lovely

they want everything they do to be straight-line imperative code invoked by Form1.Button1.OnClick, gently caress actual modeling of the domain the user is working in or tasks the user is performing.

and don't forget these alerts and dialogs all have yes/no or ok/cancel buttons too, instead of actually naming buttons for what they do. they heard consistency was good somewhere so they're going to use it even if it's harmful, drat it!

Kevin Killion, a Mac developer from way way back, actually had a great rant on how toolbars with tool tips were cargo cult UI design; they mimicked the form of a successful easy to learn and use interface without any understanding of why, just "use pictures, they're easy"

# ? Sep 3, 2014 09:36

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Fayez Butts posted:

i like how people thought that windows 9 logo was legit when the windows text isn't in the correct font (segoe)

people who legit pay attention to fonts don't pay attention to windows

only Stockholm syndrome wannabes pay attention to windows "typography" or think it anything other than poo poo

# ? Sep 3, 2014 09:44

ahmeni: May 1, 2005; It's one continuous form where hardware and software function in perfect unison, creating a new generation of iPhone that's better by any measure.; Grimey Drawer

when the gently caress is Skype going to put up a drat api

# ? Sep 3, 2014 10:00

Condiv: May 7, 2008; Sorry to undo the effort of paying a domestic abuser $10 to own this poster, but I am going to lose my dang mind if I keep seeing multiple posters who appear to be Baloogan.

With love,
a mod

Fayez Butts posted:

there i just made a better fake logo

nice stealth goatman

# ? Sep 3, 2014 10:01

cowboy beepboop: Feb 24, 2001

ahmeni posted:

when the gently caress is Skype going to put up a drat api

when they can reliably serve ads through the api

# ? Sep 3, 2014 10:11

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

my stepdads beer posted:

reliably

lmbo

# ? Sep 3, 2014 10:15

Miley Virus: Apr 9, 2010

ahmeni posted:

when the gently caress is Skype going to put up a drat api

https://support.skype.com/en/faq/FA12322/is-skypekit-being-discontinued

they did

# ? Sep 3, 2014 10:18

ahmeni: May 1, 2005; It's one continuous form where hardware and software function in perfect unison, creating a new generation of iPhone that's better by any measure.; Grimey Drawer

Miley Virus posted:

https://support.skype.com/en/faq/FA12322/is-skypekit-being-discontinued

they did

I think that was the lovely client api
i think we'll end up rolling silc or tox at work soon cause this poo poo is sad

# ? Sep 3, 2014 11:30

Fayez Butts: Aug 24, 2006

eschaton posted:

people who legit pay attention to fonts don't pay attention to windows

only Stockholm syndrome wannabes pay attention to windows "typography" or think it anything other than poo poo

ummm no. i used to be a diehard windows fan but after using osx nonstop at my current job ive found it to be far superior for what I do. windows "typography" is one of the few things microsoft has done right.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 13:54

program666: Aug 22, 2013; A giant carnivorous dinosaur

Miley Virus posted:

https://support.skype.com/en/faq/FA12322/is-skypekit-being-discontinued

they did

that's to avoid people doing their own clients with no ads right? I have to wonder if microsoft released a really good API, and supported every OS out there (last time I used skype on linux it was a piece of poo poo) they could probably turn skype in the sole communication protocol used by humanity. I mean, imagine skype support on asterisk, they could have the money of commercial use licensing and for using it to call landlines and they end up killing this potential because of ads.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 14:03

MrMoo: Sep 14, 2000

eschaton posted:

(and stop writing their own goddamn installers when the OS provides one)

I read that Vista introduced a package manager, the other day, does anything actually support it though? Microsoft is still dicking around with Windows Installer, the gimped licensed poo poo bundled in MSVC, and WiX.

http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/cc748979(v=ws.10).aspx

# ? Sep 3, 2014 14:09

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

eschaton posted:

the problem is with the design of UAC in the first place, it hacks a ton of APIs to say"Do you want to let ___ do ___?" when not called by a process with the proper rights, when instead those APIs should return "go gently caress yourself" and make software developers rewrite their poo poo with proper separation of privileges (and stop writing their own goddamn installers when the OS provides one)

but no, gotta be compatible with shovelware from 1992, someone might care, so UAC it is! and if people are trained to just click through alerts as a side effect, well they should just pay more attention, because freedom!

no, read the article. its a problem with the auto-elevation feature. UAC on the whole cludgy as hell but it absolutely did complete its purpose of clubbing idiot "developers" over the head forcing them to write to the standards that MS has been publishing since they NT days. and despite what MS says, it is a security feature and a fairly good one at that when MS isn't busy sabotaging it. if they didn't "hack a ton of APIs" then vista and 7 would just be a continuation of the Everyone is Admin, Everything Runs as Admin fuckup that was XP and every other NT-based OS before it.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 14:47

Blackula69: Apr 1, 2007; ＤＥＨＵＭＡＮＩＺＥＹＯＵＲＳＥＬＦ＆ＦＡＣＥＴＯＢＬＡＣＵＬＡ

PleasingFungus posted:

Amethyst Was Right

oh man an unfunny insult thanks for quoting blue stymie that was totally worth it

# ? Sep 3, 2014 15:00

Blackula69: Apr 1, 2007; ＤＥＨＵＭＡＮＩＺＥＹＯＵＲＳＥＬＦ＆ＦＡＣＥＴＯＢＬＡＣＵＬＡ

calling someone out for being tedious in a nerd forum with multi-page discussions about user account control

# ? Sep 3, 2014 15:01

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

PleasureKevin posted:

outlook is poo poo on every device

does anyone use slack, flow dock or hip chat? can it replace outlook/lync.

i haven't used lync, but hipchat seems okay, more or less. not great

# ? Sep 3, 2014 15:07

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Amethyst posted:

it's amazing how truly boring a school district computer janitor really is

graph really lives the life of his profession

old timers might remember that dude who was always hella mad about being a school cj, I think his name was powdered toast man

e: tossed salad man

qirex fucked around with this message at 15:42 on Sep 3, 2014

# ? Sep 3, 2014 15:19

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

public school kids are horrendous with computers. I did that poo poo for a year out of high school and by the 3rd time I was picking a bologna sandwich out of the floppy drive of a shitpile compaq P133 I realized this wasn't a thing to do for your entire life

# ? Sep 3, 2014 16:38

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

http://www.theverge.com/2014/9/3/6100741/toshiba-encore-mini-windows-tablet

"Microsoft promised cheaper Windows tablets with its "Windows 8.1 with Bing" option for manufacturers, and they�re now starting to arrive. Toshiba is one of the first to announce a 7-inch Windows tablet this week at the IFA tradeshow in Berlin, signalling a new price point for mainstream manufacturers to battle the cheap Android alternatives. The new Encore Mini is a 7-inch (1024 x 600) Windows 8.1 tablet running a quad-core Intel Atom processor with 16GB of internal storage and an SD slot if you need more space. It�s a pretty bare-bones machine, but it�s priced accordingly: it retails for just $119.99 and is available now."

1024 x 600

drfisheye
But you can�t run Windows Store apps at 600px, the minimum requirement is 768px. I don�t get it.

blackNBUK
They removed that requirement with, I think, 8.1.

drfisheye
Nope, the requirement of 8.1 is 1024�768.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-8/system-requirements

drfisheye
I have 8.1 on a 1024�600 netbook and no Windows Store app starts.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 18:52

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

Cardboard Box A posted:

http://www.theverge.com/2014/9/3/6100741/toshiba-encore-mini-windows-tablet

"Microsoft promised cheaper Windows tablets with its "Windows 8.1 with Bing" option for manufacturers, and they�re now starting to arrive. Toshiba is one of the first to announce a 7-inch Windows tablet this week at the IFA tradeshow in Berlin, signalling a new price point for mainstream manufacturers to battle the cheap Android alternatives. The new Encore Mini is a 7-inch (1024 x 600) Windows 8.1 tablet running a quad-core Intel Atom processor with 16GB of internal storage and an SD slot if you need more space. It�s a pretty bare-bones machine, but it�s priced accordingly: it retails for just $119.99 and is available now."

1024 x 600

drfisheye
But you can�t run Windows Store apps at 600px, the minimum requirement is 768px. I don�t get it.

blackNBUK
They removed that requirement with, I think, 8.1.

drfisheye
Nope, the requirement of 8.1 is 1024�768.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-8/system-requirements

drfisheye
I have 8.1 on a 1024�600 netbook and no Windows Store app starts.

loving LOL, classic MS

# ? Sep 3, 2014 18:53

Metrication: Dec 12, 2010; Raskin had one problem: Jobs regarded him as an insufferable theorist or, to use Jobs's own more precise terminology, "a shithead who sucks".

lmao

# ? Sep 3, 2014 18:57

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

its amazing how they control the whole ecosystem - hardware spec, os, apis, app store - and still manage to gently caress everything up

that takes skill

# ? Sep 3, 2014 18:57

Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

Cardboard Box A posted:

1024 x 600

drfisheye
But you can�t run Windows Store apps at 600px, the minimum requirement is 768px. I don�t get it.

blackNBUK
They removed that requirement with, I think, 8.1.

drfisheye
Nope, the requirement of 8.1 is 1024�768.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-8/system-requirements

drfisheye
I have 8.1 on a 1024�600 netbook and no Windows Store app starts.

holy poo poo

# ? Sep 3, 2014 19:00

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Cardboard Box A posted:

http://www.theverge.com/2014/9/3/6100741/toshiba-encore-mini-windows-tablet

"Microsoft promised cheaper Windows tablets with its "Windows 8.1 with Bing" option for manufacturers, and they�re now starting to arrive. Toshiba is one of the first to announce a 7-inch Windows tablet this week at the IFA tradeshow in Berlin, signalling a new price point for mainstream manufacturers to battle the cheap Android alternatives. The new Encore Mini is a 7-inch (1024 x 600) Windows 8.1 tablet running a quad-core Intel Atom processor with 16GB of internal storage and an SD slot if you need more space. It�s a pretty bare-bones machine, but it�s priced accordingly: it retails for just $119.99 and is available now."

1024 x 600

drfisheye
But you can�t run Windows Store apps at 600px, the minimum requirement is 768px. I don�t get it.

blackNBUK
They removed that requirement with, I think, 8.1.

drfisheye
Nope, the requirement of 8.1 is 1024�768.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-8/system-requirements

drfisheye
I have 8.1 on a 1024�600 netbook and no Windows Store app starts.

this is what i come here for boys. this is the good poo poo.

odds that the update to fix the 768p thing will brick it??

# ? Sep 3, 2014 19:13

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Cardboard Box A posted:

http://www.theverge.com/2014/9/3/6100741/toshiba-encore-mini-windows-tablet

"Microsoft promised cheaper Windows tablets with its "Windows 8.1 with Bing" option for manufacturers, and they�re now starting to arrive. Toshiba is one of the first to announce a 7-inch Windows tablet this week at the IFA tradeshow in Berlin, signalling a new price point for mainstream manufacturers to battle the cheap Android alternatives. The new Encore Mini is a 7-inch (1024 x 600) Windows 8.1 tablet running a quad-core Intel Atom processor with 16GB of internal storage and an SD slot if you need more space. It�s a pretty bare-bones machine, but it�s priced accordingly: it retails for just $119.99 and is available now."

1024 x 600

drfisheye
But you can�t run Windows Store apps at 600px, the minimum requirement is 768px. I don�t get it.

blackNBUK
They removed that requirement with, I think, 8.1.

drfisheye
Nope, the requirement of 8.1 is 1024�768.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-8/system-requirements

drfisheye
I have 8.1 on a 1024�600 netbook and no Windows Store app starts.

this has brightened my whole day

# ? Sep 3, 2014 19:20

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

Blackula69 posted:

calling someone out for being tedious in a nerd forum with multi-page discussions about user account control

yep. graph goes above and beyond

# ? Sep 3, 2014 19:30

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Cardboard Box A posted:

http://www.theverge.com/2014/9/3/6100741/toshiba-encore-mini-windows-tablet

"Microsoft promised cheaper Windows tablets with its "Windows 8.1 with Bing" option for manufacturers, and they’re now starting to arrive. Toshiba is one of the first to announce a 7-inch Windows tablet this week at the IFA tradeshow in Berlin, signalling a new price point for mainstream manufacturers to battle the cheap Android alternatives. The new Encore Mini is a 7-inch (1024 x 600) Windows 8.1 tablet running a quad-core Intel Atom processor with 16GB of internal storage and an SD slot if you need more space. It’s a pretty bare-bones machine, but it’s priced accordingly: it retails for just $119.99 and is available now."

1024 x 600

drfisheye
But you can’t run Windows Store apps at 600px, the minimum requirement is 768px. I don’t get it.

blackNBUK
They removed that requirement with, I think, 8.1.

drfisheye
Nope, the requirement of 8.1 is 1024�768.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-8/system-requirements

drfisheye
I have 8.1 on a 1024�600 netbook and no Windows Store app starts.

Oh yessssss

# ? Sep 3, 2014 19:38

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

quick someone bring me an android watch 168px wide, i have an idea

# ? Sep 3, 2014 19:39

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 15:20

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Cardboard Box A posted:

http://www.theverge.com/2014/9/3/6100741/toshiba-encore-mini-windows-tablet

"Microsoft promised cheaper Windows tablets with its "Windows 8.1 with Bing" option for manufacturers, and they�re now starting to arrive. Toshiba is one of the first to announce a 7-inch Windows tablet this week at the IFA tradeshow in Berlin, signalling a new price point for mainstream manufacturers to battle the cheap Android alternatives. The new Encore Mini is a 7-inch (1024 x 600) Windows 8.1 tablet running a quad-core Intel Atom processor with 16GB of internal storage and an SD slot if you need more space. It�s a pretty bare-bones machine, but it�s priced accordingly: it retails for just $119.99 and is available now."

1024 x 600

drfisheye
But you can�t run Windows Store apps at 600px, the minimum requirement is 768px. I don�t get it.

blackNBUK
They removed that requirement with, I think, 8.1.

drfisheye
Nope, the requirement of 8.1 is 1024�768.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-8/system-requirements

drfisheye
I have 8.1 on a 1024�600 netbook and no Windows Store app starts.

microsoft.txt

# ? Sep 3, 2014 19:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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