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Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Desperado Bones posted:

Extreme photoshop


This guy looks like he should be leaning on a Firebird outside of a high school.

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corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!

DarkSol posted:

One of my favorite prog rock artists, Sven Grünberg, composed the soundtrack to Hukkunud Alpinisti Hotell. I have all of his albums, all the way from 1980 to 2001.

Here's a track from the film:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTlISg0Oyv8

That movie has fantastic music, but I didn't know that the composer had more music, thanks!


Here's another poster

CaptainHollywood
Feb 29, 2008


I am an awesome guy and I love to make out during shitty Hollywood horror movies. I am a trendwhore!

Autechresaint posted:



I saw this poster in a newspaper. There are so many things off about it, I can't believe someone approved it.

I had to look up several sites to make sure this was real.

I would never have guessed this was the plot:

After the untimely death of her mother in a Montauck surfing accident, Beckett, 16, and her father, novelist Miles Warner, move to the city to begin a new life. Enrolled at the exclusive Hamilton preparatory school in Riverdale, Becekett finds first love and discovers that the school is run by a coven of beautiful and seductive women who perpetuate their fountain of youth by drinking the blood of virgins.

SomeJazzyRat
Nov 2, 2012

Hmmm...
I can't wait for the trailer, if mainly for the outrage that it doesn't look like a non-24fps video camcorder that they got off the shelf. Because, you know, if they can't afford a crappy poster then they can't afford a basic RED camera rental.

Alternativly, the outrage that it does look like poo poo in imax.

axelblaze
Oct 18, 2006

Congratulations The One Concern!!!

You're addicted to Ivory!!

and...oh my...could you please...
oh my...

Grimey Drawer
What IMAX is showing that? Did they find a week or two when there's nothing else playing in IMAX or something?

Mister Chief
Jun 6, 2011

Probably an IMAX at a local museum.

Robert Denby
Sep 9, 2007
Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, huh? Nah, get fucked mate.
Pretty sure the IMAX snype is something leftover from a temp poster. I also wouldn't be surprised if the makers of the film get a C&D as IMAX is trademarked and fairly protective of their brand.

Optimist with doubt
May 16, 2010

Scoop Lover

:vince:

he knows...
The imax name was given out to use ages ago though. Several theaters have "imax" and it's just a slightly larger screen and mildly better sound usually.

KinkyJohn
Sep 19, 2002

Desperado Bones posted:

Extreme photoshop


You would think that, with all the photoshopping, they would at least lessen the shadow cast by his beer belly.

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD
Sep 14, 2007

everything is yours

Teenage Fansub posted:

I thought it was horrible. Worse than Cosmopolis.

e: I'm way more interested in his son's career now. I hope there's something coming up.

Yeah, Antiviral owns. I was lukewarm on Cosmopolis, this is rough on me to hear.

Mister Nobody
Feb 17, 2011

KinkyJohn posted:

You would think that, with all the photoshopping, they would at least lessen the shadow cast by his beer belly.

The beer belly and the mustache are kind of his defining physical traits. My problem is with his pants, they fit way too well.

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

CaptainHollywood posted:

I had to look up several sites to make sure this was real.

I would never have guessed this was the plot:

After the untimely death of her mother in a Montauck surfing accident, Beckett, 16, and her father, novelist Miles Warner, move to the city to begin a new life. Enrolled at the exclusive Hamilton preparatory school in Riverdale, Becekett finds first love and discovers that the school is run by a coven of beautiful and seductive women who perpetuate their fountain of youth by drinking the blood of virgins.

So, do they end up foiling the wicked women's plan by having a massive orgy? That would be a more effective solution than somehow hoping that ~~**love conquers all**~~

Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007

Teenage Fansub posted:

I thought it was horrible. Worse than Cosmopolis.

e: I'm way more interested in his son's career now. I hope there's something coming up.

Cosmopolis was siiiiiiiiiiick so I'm excited for this one. Cronenberg has yet to let me down.

Vince MechMahon
Jan 1, 2008



Yeah I loved Cosmopolis so someone who hated it not liking this just makes me think it's probably also really good.

Distorted Kiwi
Jun 11, 2014

"C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Autechresaint posted:



I saw this poster in a newspaper. There are so many things off about it, I can't believe someone approved it.

DERP: THE MOVIE made me delve into my posters folder for other eye-related posters.

Then I discovered THIS piece of 5-alarm crazy and just plain stopped looking.

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013

corn in the bible posted:

That movie has fantastic music, but I didn't know that the composer had more music, thanks!


Here's another poster


Continuing with the posters to Strugatsky adaptations, Hard to be a God, 1989 and 2014 versions:





The new one is amazing, hunt it down if it ever gets a release in English. In short, it is a Star Trek Prime Directive story taking place on Bosch/Bruegel-inspired Medieval planet that is never going to reach its Renaissance because it is too hosed up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHXTr0s-yOo

fatherboxx fucked around with this message at 09:57 on Sep 13, 2014

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD
Sep 14, 2007

everything is yours
I posted Hard To Be A God as a YTOTD, I think. In the original, Werner Herzog plays the lead character. Very strange film, both of them.

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone
Just watched Witchfinder General and now I feel dirty.



SALT CURES HAM
Jan 4, 2011
Witchfinder General is the best Hammer movie that Hammer didn't make.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

fatherboxx posted:

Continuing with the posters to Strugatsky adaptations, Hard to be a God, 1989 and 2014 versions:


Hard to Be A God, featuring the Highlander and the Kurgan?

ShufflerZero
Mar 21, 2009



58: Some actors were born to be action heroes. Robert Ginty wasn't, but he didn't let that stop him.

The Exterminator (1980)


Gold Raiders (1982)


Warrior of the Lost World (1983)


Scarab (1983)


the Act (1984)


Exterminator 2 (1984)


White Fire (1984)


Mission Kill (1986)


Three Kinds of Heat (1987)


Code Name: Vengeance (1987)


Maniac Killer (1987)


Out on Bail (1989)


Vietnam, Texas (1990)


the Bounty Hunter (1990)


Cop Target (1991)

Darthemed
Oct 28, 2007

"A data unit?
For me?
"




College Slice
Geez, he really capitalized on that Exterminator role.

ShufflerZero
Mar 21, 2009



I just spent the whole time watching 'the Exterminator' wishing Robert Ginty and Steve James had switched roles.
Just look at this bad-rear end mamma-jamma:

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

"You killed my girlfriend. You kidnapped my parents. But nobody and I mean NOBODY destroys the Ecto-1!"

quote:


Cop Target (1991)

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

ShufflerZero posted:

Warrior of the Lost World (1983)


I love Warrior of the Lost World; this poster was made first, then they made the movie based off the poster.


I'm honestly amazed that Robert Ginty and Fred Williamson made more than one movie together.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

fatherboxx posted:

Continuing with the posters to Strugatsky adaptations, Hard to be a God, 1989 and 2014 versions:



He is going to cut his hand and it is going to sting.

DrVenkman
Dec 28, 2005

I think he can hear you, Ray.

Evil Mastermind posted:

I love Warrior of the Lost World; this poster was made first, then they made the movie based off the poster.

That was a fairly common practice. Cannon used to love doing that. Make up a poster to show to investors where they can say 'Look how awesome this poo poo is going to be!' and then just deliver a movie that sort of looks like it.

If I remember, Cannon used to fund movies by pre-selling the international rights to something that wasn't yet made and then use that to actually make it.

Noxville
Dec 7, 2003

ShufflerZero posted:

Scarab (1983)


Those faces are amazing.

Distorted Kiwi
Jun 11, 2014

"C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

DrVenkman posted:

That was a fairly common practice. Cannon used to love doing that. Make up a poster to show to investors where they can say 'Look how awesome this poo poo is going to be!' and then just deliver a movie that sort of looks like it.

If I remember, Cannon used to fund movies by pre-selling the international rights to something that wasn't yet made and then use that to actually make it.

Yep, but WARRIORS was made after they handed a 40-page treatment to the director. "Off you go, make this!"

It's a fantastic piece of Z-grade awful-someness, however.

And every time ShufflerZero posts, I want to hang out with him on a Friday night with a six-pack and a box of ex-rental VHS.

SALT CURES HAM
Jan 4, 2011

DrVenkman posted:

If I remember, Cannon used to fund movies by pre-selling the international rights to something that wasn't yet made and then use that to actually make it.

Troma does (or at least did) this, too. Lloyd Kaufman goes into some detail on pre-selling at Cannes in one of the X Your Own drat Movie books (though I can't remember which one) and it's pretty interesting.

ubergnu
Jun 7, 2002

Failed gothic

ShufflerZero posted:

Scarab (1983)


Watch out slightly faceplanted Paul McCartney! There are some scary stuff happening behind you!

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.

There's a variant of this on a billboard near our house - the first time my gal and I saw it, we started laughing at how outrageously lovely and low-rent it is. Even my mother-in-law, who basically eats cultural garbage all day, referred to it as "cochino", which is the Spanish word for "pig" and basically means gross and dirty.

rawillkill
Aug 15, 2009

Emma Watson is what runs trivia teams.

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

Distorted Kiwi posted:

Yep, but WARRIORS was made after they handed a 40-page treatment to the director. "Off you go, make this!"

It's a fantastic piece of Z-grade awful-someness, however.

I watched this the other night. I think it peaked with Ginty in a battle royale with the Truckers, the Punks, the StreetwalkersAmazons, the NazisMilitary Renactors, and the inexplicable Martial Artist gang, complete with black belts, headbands, and shirtless dogi.

Also, the fight with Megaweapon was WEAKKKKK, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it's awful-someness.

joedevola
Sep 11, 2004

worst song, played on ugliest guitar

ShufflerZero posted:

Mission Kill (1986)


Oh God.

Cameron Mitchell as a central American dictator? I need this movie in my life.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006


Wow. It looks the exact same as the last one.

Party Boat
Nov 1, 2007

where did that other dog come from

who is he



I'm seeing double here! Four Gandalfs!

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

http://bloody-disgusting.com/exclusives/3311752/13-mgmfox-horror-films-set-release-time-halloween/

MGM's doing alt covers for some of their horror titles for Halloween, and while most of them are pretty lovely (holy moly that Jeepers Creepers one is awful), I'm digging the hell out of the Teen Wolf cover.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

That is awesome. I'm sure Michael J. Fox isn't terribly excited about it since he hates that movie.

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Lady Naga
Apr 25, 2008

Voyons Donc!
How can anyone hate Teen Wolf?

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