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19 o'clock posted:I think my department had around $200/year/employee scheduled. Which is an utter loving racket. The whole system exists because each state wants every finance person who "conducts business" (i.e. talks to a person) in that state to have a license. The licensing process is "write a check to the state licensing commission and take a test online". There are classes you take for these professional certifications. The only reason the class exists is to tell you what the test answers are. (The reason this is useful is that the test is looking for a specific answer, not just "what is right". If you give the right answer worded wrongly, then that's marked incorrect. If you give the right answer plus a little extra work, that's marked incorrect.) So you pay a fee to the class to, basically, get the answer key. Then you pay a fee to the state government. You do not actually learn anything as a result of this process but the state can claim that it's looking out for its citizens, and the company can boast about the number of certifications its employees hold.
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Sep 22, 2014 06:46
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Miss-Bomarc posted:The intent of this budget is for you to take "professional certification" classes. Oh, absolutely true. I will gladly defend in today's exit interview that my CPA testing cost a tad bit more than $200. Continuing professional education for me as a CPA comes out ahead of $200 as well (not a CPA yet...). $200 may snag you some private company's certification of training or some such, but at my level those things are meaningless in my opinion. 19 o'clock fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Sep 22, 2014 |
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Sep 22, 2014 14:09
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dennyk posted:Basic deductive reasoning really does just escape some people, doesn't it? gently caress people who have the ability to take sick time and just don't. ladyweapon fucked around with this message at 17:13 on Sep 22, 2014 |
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Sep 22, 2014 17:07
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Renegret posted:I've been on Jury Duty for the past two weeks, I'm in the office today but the trial continues next week. How in the hell do you manage that much email?  Sure it's over a two week period but that doesn't make it any less insane. There's no way any reasonable person could expect you to catch up on that many emails once you get back.ladyweapon posted:Coworker is in again today, after leaving early friday, and sounds even worse. Shes "not sure" its bronchitis except for all the symptoms that point to bronchitis and that the rest of her family apparently has bronchitis. I just kept talking in increasingly scary words about how bad I get when I have bronchitis and shes also six months pregnant, so now shes going to see a doctor (despite being sick most of last week she hasnt seen one). Shes coughing directly into her hands, then occasionally hands me stuff, and I make no effort to hide the sheer amount of hand sanitizer I use the second I touch anything she touches. Three months is no exaggeration on how long I was sick last year. I'm already working 10 hour days, if I get sick again I am saying gently caress it and taking a week off. gently caress your co-worker so much. There's a special place in hell for people who knowingly expose others to their infectious disease. I'm immune compromised and depend on other people to do things like get vaccinated and have some loving manners when they're sick. The accountant here gets sick all the time, never takes time off, and hacks with her wet cough all over everything in the office. I've taken to spraying Lysol all over desks, doorknobs, countertops, cabinet handles, fridge handle, etc. every morning when I come in. She came in to the office with some Zicam and thought she was doing everyone a huge favor (after we kept telling her to see a doctor). Zicam is homeopathic bullshit, there's no actual medicine in it at all. On one hand it's easy to be angry at her for being so irresponsible; on the other, her English isn't very good and may not realize that she's being deceived. I hope your disgusting disease vector coworker sees a doctor and gets some medication (and maybe takes some sick time off, too, Jesus).
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Sep 22, 2014 19:14
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Poop Cupcake posted:gently caress your co-worker so much. There's a special place in hell for people who knowingly expose others to their infectious disease. I'm immune compromised and depend on other people to do things like get vaccinated and have some loving manners when they're sick. The accountant here gets sick all the time, never takes time off, and hacks with her wet cough all over everything in the office. I've taken to spraying Lysol all over desks, doorknobs, countertops, cabinet handles, fridge handle, etc. every morning when I come in. She came in to the office with some Zicam and thought she was doing everyone a huge favor (after we kept telling her to see a doctor). Zicam is homeopathic bullshit, there's no actual medicine in it at all. On one hand it's easy to be angry at her for being so irresponsible; on the other, her English isn't very good and may not realize that she's being deceived. Christ, spray her with the loving Lysol.
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Sep 22, 2014 19:27
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Lowly posted:It's probably because the managers are deciding the award and they give it to someone who helped them with some specific problem they had directly. In other words, they weren't really considering who went above and beyond in their work in general, it was more like "who has helped ME PERSONALLY out the most this year? My organization does awards like this per-department which means someone in HR doesn't go up against someone in research who have completely different goals so we give out a lot of awards in a year.
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Sep 22, 2014 19:35
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sbaldrick posted:My organization does awards like this per-department which means someone in HR doesn't go up against someone in research who have completely different goals so we give out a lot of awards in a year. That... doesn't sound horrible at all. What's the catch?
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Sep 22, 2014 19:41
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ItalicSquirrels posted:That... doesn't sound horrible at all. What's the catch? The lawyers get cars as a bonus, while the support staff gets a $20 grocery store gift card?
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Sep 22, 2014 19:53
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:The lawyers get cars as a bonus, while the support staff gets a $20 grocery store gift card? $20 for me is about a week and a half of food while my wife's on a trip*. You can bet your rear end that if I were offered gift cards to Giant I'd be a model employee. *My wife travels for a living and is on the road for literally 60% of the year.
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Sep 22, 2014 20:15
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We got $15 gift cards to the local grocery store stapled to our pay stubs right before thanksgiving to buy a turkey. That's as close as we got to holiday bonuses 
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Sep 22, 2014 20:43
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My manager has a thing now where if I make a mistake - like a typo - I'm given a lecture and explanation about professionalism and the vision of the company.
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Sep 22, 2014 22:18
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CelestialScribe posted:My manager has a thing now where if I make a mistake - like a typo - I'm given a lecture and explanation about professionalism and the vision of the company. I have a vision of an updated resume.
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Sep 22, 2014 22:36
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CelestialScribe posted:My manager has a thing now where if I make a mistake - like a typo - I'm given a lecture and explanation about professionalism and the vision of the company. Does it follow a line of, 'if you can go a second without making a mistake, you can go a minute, and if you can go a minute, you can go an hour, etc?" If it does, that is Scientology level BS.
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Sep 22, 2014 22:53
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My new manager is patient, understanding, highly competent, and an incredible mentor. He also just spent 15 mins ranting to me about Benghazi.
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Sep 22, 2014 23:35
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enraged_camel posted:Because bringing up grievances with HR and your boss during your employment can get you labeled as a "troublemaker" and hurt your chances to get promotions, raises, etc. Whereas when you leave, you don't have any chips in the game anymore, so you can just speak your mind (without burning bridges). I guess fortunately I have never felt this. A weird company that punishes employees that try to improve it.
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Sep 22, 2014 23:38
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Xibanya posted:My new manager is patient, understanding, highly competent, and an incredible mentor. What would Vilerat think?
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Sep 22, 2014 23:54
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enraged_camel posted:So I'm friends with one of our HR recruiters and the other day we were talking about how hard life is these days for college graduates. Well when I was recruiting on limited resources, I knew for the most part we couldn't get the "best" candidates, although ultimately we did get smart people who did a good job. It actually was a plus if you had some minor flaw, like you were really smart but an underachiever in school. Then we could make our mediocre salary offer and expect you to work at our satellite office out in the suburbs.
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Sep 23, 2014 01:04
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Xibanya posted:My new manager is patient, understanding, highly competent, and an incredible mentor. I had a great, wonderful boss who was incredibly supportive and gave me the ability to do my own poo poo and run my own programs with minimal interference. She was the perfect type of manager who understands that her job is to shield you from the demands of those above her so you can do your job. I also couldn't eat tofu or corn in front of her without hearing about GMOs. It just turned into a fun game to figure out how deep it went. I eventually gave up when she pointed out the chemtrail on the plane flying overhead, realizing there was no bottom to this well. Take what you can get, and just smile and nod.
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Sep 23, 2014 05:17
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Good managers are all conspiracy nuts, got it.
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Sep 23, 2014 05:19
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ItalicSquirrels posted:That... doesn't sound horrible at all. What's the catch? To get any real good gifts you have to be here for like 30 years.
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Sep 23, 2014 14:48
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quote:Please re-send order list. Not able to make out dates in excel document you sent. dates look like this ### 
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Sep 23, 2014 16:27
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Sep 23, 2014 16:32
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I love that stuff. Right up there with people writing novels in Excel and asking for help in printing.
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Sep 23, 2014 17:41
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hahahahahaha holy poo poo
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Sep 23, 2014 17:50
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Once upon a time, I used to think Google Docs was cool, revolutionary even. One place to store relevant documentation, track edits, and search for information? How can you lose? Well, it turns out losing is what happens when every single loving document, issue list, company quarterly rocks, and client information is all stored in Google Docs, with everyone having the capacity to change titles, information in the documents themselves, and otherwise delete/edit/add content at any given time with zero oversight. It's like walking into a library one day, then coming back the next day to find that maybe the covers on the books are the same, but all the chapters are different. Thought you'd find your answer in this one??? Jokes on you, it never existed in the first place! I'm sorry that you didn't know that project tracking was being stored in this book, you should have paid close attention as the title, number of pages and relevant responsible parties were being continually modified and included/discluded. It's a spiraling, whirlpool nightmare that nobody and everybody is responsible for. ex post facho fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 01:05
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Our intranet is similar. Updating a procedure? Don't edit the existing one. Upload a brand new one. Make sure it's named differently to ensure confusion.
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Sep 24, 2014 01:16
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a shameful boehner posted:Once upon a time, I used to think Google Docs was cool, revolutionary even. One place to store relevant documentation, track edits, and search for information? How can you lose? I think you'd have the same problem with SharePoint or anything else that doesn't actually have intelligent permissions provided by the document owner. You can't blame docs for your organization not having any organization.
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Sep 24, 2014 01:21
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a shameful boehner posted:Once upon a time, I used to think Google Docs was cool, revolutionary even. One place to store relevant documentation, track edits, and search for information? How can you lose? Hahaha, my company develops lovely document management software and you're our target audience. You have no idea how many companies are willing to shell out tens of thousands of dollars (plus annual "support" payments) just because they don't know how to organize their documents and permissions properly.
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Sep 24, 2014 01:34
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Volmarias posted:I think you'd have the same problem with SharePoint or anything else that doesn't actually have intelligent permissions provided by the document owner. You can't blame docs for your organization not having any organization. Oh, believe me, I don't blame Google Docs.
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Sep 24, 2014 02:21
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At least y'all use electronic formats. When I ask for an electronic format from a coworker, it tends to come as an Excel print with writing all over it scanned as a .PDF.
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Sep 24, 2014 03:08
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My old cGMP/ISO 17025 food safety lab had all of our controlled documentation in hard copy note books. No electronic system, and yes one of the manuals went missing.
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Sep 24, 2014 07:38
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Poop Cupcake posted:How in the hell do you manage that much email? My general strategy is right click -> Mark All as Read. We're a big team and we have a lot of automated e-mails that get sent to the entire department. For the most part, I'm not responsible for E-Mails that come in when I'm not working. I have filters for HR and management so I can pick those out of the mess while everything else gets ignored. Management is aware of the problem and anything that's actually important gets forwarded a thousand times at different times of the day for a week as well as some sort of direct verbal communication. e: Also this place is so dysfunctional that anything important I had to know yesterday probably isn't relevant anymore today. Renegret fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 13:02
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I have to ask. Do companies in the US really use cubicles? I always thought that was a screen writing thing to give the character privacy. Do your bosses think that you'll all stop working if you are able to talk to one another? How does working in a team happen?
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Sep 24, 2014 13:12
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Incoming Chinchilla posted:I have to ask. Do companies in the US really use cubicles? Yes, cubicles are real things. quote:Do your bosses think Many don't.
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Sep 24, 2014 13:20
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Incoming Chinchilla posted:I have to ask. Do companies in the US really use cubicles? Cubicles are the best case. In cubes people respect your space, they don't creep up on you, and they mind their business. You can get work done. Without cubes it's a miserable panopticon slash petri dish. Working in a team happens in meetings. Or by talking over the cube walls. (Though that's mostly bitching about external people. Bitching about internal people is done in private cube visits)
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Sep 24, 2014 13:31
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Incoming Chinchilla posted:I have to ask. Do companies in the US really use cubicles? Yes in the US there are cubicles. In a modern office the peons have walls about waist height, and the salarymen get full walls for privacy. Managers of peons will probably be in the corner of the cube farm with two full walls and two glass ones so they can easily view their charges. If there are any actual offices in the building they belong to either very important people, or to IT or HR, since they're the most likely to have sensitive stuff lying around. Among the low-walled peons you can gauge status by the number of monitors they have.
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Sep 24, 2014 13:45
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Tokyo Sex Whale posted:Yes in the US there are cubicles. In a modern office the peons have walls about waist height, and the salarymen get full walls for privacy. Managers of peons will probably be in the corner of the cube farm with two full walls and two glass ones so they can easily view their charges. If there are any actual offices in the building they belong to either very important people, or to IT or HR, since they're the most likely to have sensitive stuff lying around. 2, and the walls go almost to my shoulders 
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Sep 24, 2014 13:47
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Hah, cubicles, that's a good one. We're still stuck with "high density seating" here. I wish I had that level of privacy. To make matters worse, all the meeting rooms are booked at least a week in advance and even the lunch room tables are taken for overflow meetings. You pretty much have to wander like a nomad to have a private phone conversation, or leave the building.
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Sep 24, 2014 13:57
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19 o'clock posted:At least y'all use electronic formats. When I ask for an electronic format from a coworker, it tends to come as an Excel print with writing all over it scanned as a .PDF. Sometimes I have to check one list against another list so I asked for an excel doc so I could use a macro to find the discrepancies. He printed me out 3 pages with over 100 entries. And then added more to them with pen. He used a ruler and drew little rows and columns and added more that he "forgot."
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Sep 24, 2014 14:29
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Incoming Chinchilla posted:How does working in a team happen? Poorly.
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Sep 24, 2014 14:30
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