Bloody Hedgehog posted:

If anyone was curious about the snake-skin effect of the graft, it's because they take the raw graft and put it through a skin mesher. The skin mesher basically looks like a pasta maker, and has interchangeable bladed rollers to cut a specific pattern into the skin graft which allows it to expand up to 9 times it's original size. Quite handy so you don't need to donate as much skin as was lost.

Suicide Sam E. posted:

Thanks for this image to complete the unpleasant process of Enfield's recovery. Before I was just picturing doctors scraping skin off of him to staple to the back of his skull, but now I have further insight to them perforating the skin first. My world is just so much richer.

RAGE HOLE posted:

Wow, that is really loving cool. I want mine set to a spirograph pattern.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Goon sets himself on fire, posts a thread about it:

Alas Boobylon posted:

you are literally a human being, that is to say, kindling

No. 6 posted:

Or just fix the holes in the tax laws while slightly increase taxes on individuals who hold the majority of income in the country.

Lamebot posted:

Congratulations! You have been randomly selected for compulsory deportation.

TEAYCHES posted:

WHAT THE gently caress IS THIS LEFTIST HORSE poo poo

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

That would actually work. Stop suggesting plans that don't involve cutting already minor programs, harebrained ideas that came to you in a dream, and literal magic.

TrixRabbi posted:

Figures Current Releases ends the week before Dear White People comes out.

...of SCIENCE! posted:

James Hardon posted:

[telegraph beeping noises]

CAT HAS RECENTLY STARTED LIVING UP TO ITS NAME -STOP- HAS RECENTLY BECOME WHAT I CAN BEST DESCRIBE AS A FURRY DQ SOFT SERVE MACHINE -STOP- OTHERWISE NORMAL -STOP- CONSULTING MY FRIENDS FROM THE APPLE EVENT ANTICIPATION MEGATHREAD BEFORE CALLING A PROFESSIONAL -STOP- MODS? -END MESSAGE-

Gay Roads posted:

CommonTerry posted:

It says "this machine kills chechens"

scamtank posted:

Lote posted:

Memento Mori

So where are you? You're in the huddle. You just - you just wake up and you're in...in the huddle. There's the key. It feels like maybe it's just the first down you've been there, but perhaps you've been there for a drive. It's - it's kind of hard to say. I don't - I don't know. It's just huddle with crimson and gold jerseys.

I look down. I have a playbook in my wristband. I open the playbook, peaking in. On the inside cover, in large letters it says, "I am a REDSKIN." I must be a Redskin. Further down, there's a photo of this chubby faced goofball:



DONT BELIEVE HIS LIES

I look do a double take at the text underneath. That's strange.

I look to the sideline. I see it's 2nd down and about 7 to go. I also see that chubby faced goofball on the sidelines. Weird. Why do I care about him?

Suddenly, my helmet speaks to me, "Call the play! Hurry up! 11 Fly Right Omaha." It snaps me back to attention. I dutifully repeat, "Alright guys. 11 Fly Right Omaha. Let's do this!"

I clap. Breaking the huddle. I'm repeating the play up to the line. I have this condition. It started when I was at Texas, but it's gotten worse. I got drafted by the Browns, but it get's hazy from there. If I think for too long, I'll forget how I started. Next time I call a play, I'm not gonna remember the last play I called. I don't even know if I've called the same play twice by accident. Steve Young had it too. He wrote himself endless notes. But he'd get mixed up. I've got a more graceful solution to the memory problem. I'm disciplined and organized. I use habit and routine to make my life possible. Young had no drive. No reason to make it work.




Where was I?

I'm under center. I look down. I have three tattoos on my left hand resting right below the center's taint.

I am a Brown
I am a 49er
I am a Redskin

I look up. Blue jerseys with Stars. Cowboys. Well, hol-lee-poo poo! I've made it to the big time, and I'm playing in the NFC East. I look to the sideline. I see it's 2nd down and about 7 to go. The play clock is at 7 and ticking down fast. I need to snap this ball. "Down. Set. Hike!" The NFL is fast. I drop back and do a 5 step drop. Step up into the pocket. I see 11 on the right sideline on what looks like a fly route. I ... poo poo! That Cowboys lineman was fast, and I have to get out of the way. I'm flushed out running to the right. My back is clear now. I step up and set my feet.




Where was I again? I'm the middle of a play. I'm out of the pocket. It must have been a bootleg. Who do I throw to? I look at my right hand. I have four tattoos on my right hand:

I am a Brown
I am a 49er
I am a Redskin
I am a Cowboy

I must be a Cowboy. I look down field and to the right. My running back, #32, has beaten his guy to the inside and he's wide open deep. I let that bomb fly. It sails true. A real McCoy bullet. The running back catches the ball in the end-zone. I raise my arms for a touchdown as he runs out of the end zone. Why? I start running.




Ok. So what am I doing? I'm running. Wait. I'm blocking for that guy in blue.

"McCoy throws an interception to Scandrick!" booms out over the loudspeaker.

No. I'm chasing him. I'm running towards him. I feel a huge force on my chest. I'm getting laid out on my back. My head whips back and is the first to hit the turf.




I look up. That's a giant screen. There's some guy with the number 12 in crimson also on his back. I look up. It's me.

Where am I?

SaltyJesus posted:

mind the walrus posted:

I'm assured they're very funny but I never have the patience for them either because they tend to arrive void of context--often as the entire point--and rarely have a good opening hook to suck you into each poster's particular brand of insanity. Sometimes I can hammer away at one or two and find some interesting stuff, but most of the time I just feel like I'm at another studio art installation only in this one the joke is that everyone knows playing with feces makes you retarded no matter how nice a drawing of Jesus you can make with it.

Tomn posted:

Ten out of ten veterinarians do not recommend neutering your drunk Germans, though if you absolutely have to neuter them it's probably best that they're drunk.

Crane Fist posted:

What kind of hosed up football have you dudes been playing this whole time

Sagebrush posted:

i bet that someone seeing the characteristic features of a crown vic in the distance generates exactly the same activation pattern in the exact same brain areas as an ancient hunter gatherer spotting a tiger in the grass

darkwing cuck posted:

remember this guy killed his son cuz guns don't kill people

mind the walrus posted:

mr.capps posted:

The gun lobbies look on with anticipation to see what Big Baby's next move will be.

SaltyJesus posted:

It feels so weird to see quotes from one of my threads in here.

SaltyJesus posted:

It feels so weird to see quotes from one of my threads in here.

sweeperbravo posted:

donkey salami posted:

Cant claim stand your ground if cant stand yet

Well played dad

echinopsis posted:

Everyone is trying to get my man nition to weasel out of the GOTO


I like to think every software worth a drat has a GOTO hidden in there somewhere. Like taking a jizz in the coleslaw at KFC, you just know that ONE of those pottles has it. It's like a signature.. "I was here" it says "I was alive. I EXISTED"

Japanese Phone Box posted:

a cool analogy

Crankit posted:

uh gross that this forum is full of seedophiles, don't even try and pretend there's a difference and you're a herbephile.

Tuckleberry posted:

no one gives a gently caress

Pope Corky the IX posted:

This is it. Your big moment. It's all downhill from here.

SaltyJesus posted:

Glad to hear it. I can finally retire from my arduous shitpost training routine and rest on my laurels.

TVarmy posted:

I have a big penis. It makes my girlfriend a bit uncomfortable. She first has to summon her horse, and then suss out where my dick is. After a five minute or so horse ride, she is there. At first, it looks like it's just a part of the mountain, covered in moss, trees, and a stray deer here or there. But as she approaches, it rises erect, and shakes off the dirt from years of slumber. She rides her steed up the balls and performs an elegant jump to the base of my shaft, and begins to climb, as my dick sways and groans at the injustice of an intruder. What's but a minor twitch for my dick is nearly enough to snap my girlfriend's neck. She has to grip so hard for dear life. But my girlfriend is a strong woman who isn't afraid to complete her quest. Soon, she is at the head, and sees the glowing heart of my dick. She unsheathes her vagina and begins to hump the spot vigorously. My penis roars, knowing it doesn't have much time. Semen coats the pristine landscape. The deer scaling my dick is now choking on one particularly ropey strand of the white goop. She holds on as the penis falls down slowly in its death throes. She jumps off, mounts her horse, and sheds a single tear.

After that, we usually order a pizza and find something good on Netflix.

QuarkJets posted:

So really, have any of the bitcoiners talking about bitcoin living on after a nuclear war given any thought as to how they'll be using an internet-based currency in a post-apocalyptic wasteland?

They should remake the Road Warrior films except instead of gas being precious it's bitcoin. Mel Gibson would rant about jew bankers controlling the world (it'd be an easy role for him) and Barter Town would have a huge bitcoin symbol over the front gate.

e: Lord Humungus would be a 600 pound guy in a rascal scooter with huge ASICs on each side of him, and all of his minions would be riding around on vehicles made of ASICs that are constantly mining bitcoin.

Geekboy posted:

My married girlfriend's husband went to Columbine. As in, he was there when it happened.

He has PTSD pretty bad and as much as I'd love to pick his brain about it, I can't imagine how you bring that up to someone.

Like, I'll gently caress his wife but that's just awkward.

SaltyJesus posted:

Glad to hear it. I can finally retire from my arduous shitpost training routine and rest on my laurels.

Snapchat A Titty posted:

Man I'm old. First I thought holy poo poo kids from Columbine are getting married now? Then I thought, gently caress that was a decade ago. It's so much more than a decade.

basically I count my age in decades since american tragedies.

Chamale posted:

"9/11 happened in grade 3"

The Whole Internet posted:

Had a teacher I absolutely hated in preschool. She punished kids at the drop of a hat. I got punished for all kinds of poo poo I never did.

So... one day she brought a bunch of cupcakes to the room and set them on the shelf. We had to sit in a room with cupcakes, as 4 year olds, for 2 hours. After she told us they weren't for us, I was too angry. I had the funny idea that she was keeping all of them for herself for some reason.

So I decided to get revenge. During recess, after the tray was moved to another room, I snuck in and pushed a tiny piece of poop into one of them from underneath.

Later I found out those were for the special ed kids. The parents had brought them in for their kid's birthday. Some poor retarded kid got that cupcake.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Christ almighty, I was in grade 9.

Rumda posted:

Just think in a year or two there'll be thousands of teenagers clumsily making out on their parents couch who weren't even born when it happened.

E: Oh god people born just after are the same age I was when it happened.

Rumda posted:

Just think in a year or two there'll be thousands of teenagers clumsily making out on their parents couch who weren't even born when it happened.

E: Oh god people born just after are the same age I was when it happened.

IronicDongz posted:

It's not really that different as a lot of kids who were really young, as a 7 year old I sure as gently caress didn't have any understanding of the event or what it meant to people.