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This is what it has come down to. An automated PowerShell script that: Opens the Word.Application object, runs a macro to Check Out, Add a paragraph, Save, and Check In, then it runs a SOAP call to Versions.asmx to see if it's a 0KB entry. I'm at 1276 check ins so far, no sign of the issue. 
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Nov 7, 2014 21:39
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poo poo not pissing me off - in the early stages of talking to a company, I successfully refuse to name a salary range, they come back with a range at the bottom of six figures. I make under 50k, and would've been pretty happy with 75k. Also, this is Texas. 
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Nov 7, 2014 22:27
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YanniRotten posted:poo poo not pissing me off - in the early stages of talking to a company, I successfully refuse to name a salary range, they come back with a range at the bottom of six figures. I make under 50k, and would've been pretty happy with 75k. Also, this is Texas. Good job goon
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Nov 7, 2014 22:30
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poo poo that pisses me off - not being consulted on initial issues so things can get done properly. So we have a partner who wants a secondary phone on her table. No big deal, I get it configured and hand it off to my babby tech to go plug it in on her table. He comes back and tells me she's only got two ports, one of them for her printer and one for her PC, and due to some fuckery in our environment our networked printers need their own port, we can't just slap a hub on there to add the phone on. So I check the port map and she's supposed to have three - except the third port is buried behind her massive shelf/desk unit and we can't get at it. We get in touch with her and confirm that she's okay with moving her printer to her desk so we can wire it into this port. Babby tech tells me he's got it and he'll coordinate with facilities, he just needs me to light up the line. Fine, I go to do that. When they uncover that port, it's a two-jack port, unlabeled, so they pick a jack at random and wire it in - without consulting me - and then move everything back (a fairly major process.) They don't test that the printer's live on this port or anything, just assume they picked correctly and they're good to go. She reports not five minutes later that her printer is still not working, because they picked the dead port (which I later confirm with a cable toner.) Instead of moving everything out again, I'm then told to just localize the printer, which takes another half an hour until I discover that HP Laserjets have this stupid SmartInstall "feature" that just means their installer will sit there for twenty minutes before failing out, and you have to disable it on the printer itself before Windows will pick it up the way it normally picks up USB printers. Why, why, why would you pick a port when you had a 50/50 chance of being right and then immediately assume you picked correctly? Why wouldn't you call me so we could do it right in the first place? It's been a quiet day, we're not slammed, come on!
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Nov 7, 2014 22:35
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I bought a new video card which has really only served to slow my computer way down. How the gently caress is this a thing in 2014?
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Nov 8, 2014 00:27
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nitrogen posted:You just need to give them these if they break their phone, unless they pony up money personally to replace it: We still have a drawer full of these to threaten people with  They're even worse because they are touch screen only and have resistive screen which barely worked when new let alone 5 years later
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Nov 8, 2014 00:37
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Laptop chat: One of our higher-ups bought an X1 Carbon off Woot. It's got a tiny SSD (128gb), a weird keyboard, and an incredibly sucky touchpad (that I couldn't figure out how to drag-and-drop on while I was installing his software), but it's pretty sweet for the price.
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Nov 8, 2014 07:26
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I set one of them up the other day and didn't actually hate the keyboard nearly as much as I was expecting to. Also, the touchpad pretty much follows the same command rules as on a Macbook from what I could tell.
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Nov 8, 2014 08:44
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sfwarlock posted:Laptop chat: One of our higher-ups bought an X1 Carbon off Woot. It's got a tiny SSD (128gb), a weird keyboard, and an incredibly sucky touchpad (that I couldn't figure out how to drag-and-drop on while I was installing his software), but it's pretty sweet for the price. Almost identical to my flex15, but with worse specs(and I assume a better build quality)
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Nov 8, 2014 09:28
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The x-1 carbon is the laptop that sealed the fact that I will probably not buy another Lenovo product again. I have heard the HP business line is maybe something I should look at... Only thing that I am worried about is trying out warranty repairs. Lenovo has slipped recently but still they send me a box next day air and pay for shipping both ways. I only have to send items back in for the same problem 60% of the time.
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Nov 8, 2014 13:34
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Coredump posted:If the company is going to hand out iPhones they should either charge the department for broken ones outside of life cycle replacements or buy good cases along with the phone. People are children when it comes to taking care of company equipment. I think that's a case our director is trying to negotiate with the other directors. Doesn't sound like it's easy though, they're probably arguing that accidental damage is just one of the normal costs of IT etc. We're on a tight budget right now though they are managing to charge some things to other departments (some software upgrades for example) Also those who have company phones are mostly sales, execs, or anyone else who is shall we say "well valued" (*cough*family*cough*) so it doesn't take much for them to get their way if they don't have much luck with us. "But daaaaaad I need an iPhone so I can do my emails..."
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Nov 8, 2014 14:40
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Most of our phones aren't that old, I think they're generally iPhone 5/S's. So unless a department director specifically comes to me to request a certain replacement phone, they get the cheapest option available; one field guy is on his fourth phone so I sent him an iPhone 4S. I've rolled out Lumia 635's to a bunch of office staff and they seem fine with them, but then along comes another field doofus who can't figure out his fisher price iPhone because he has a hard time with the document scanning app (It's the free version of Genius Scan, you focus the camera, press the shoot button, press the black and white button, press email and punch in the address, it's not friggin' difficult) so now I have to swap his phone with someone's Lumia for some reason, and being they don't use the same SIM type the numbers have to be swapped...
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Nov 8, 2014 15:21
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Last night at 11:30 I get a call, a hotel is having issues accessing a WAP on the south side. They've had three guests complain. I check our documentation and walk the night clerk through resetting that WAP, but she can't find it anywhere around that side of the hotel. I have her walking around looking at ceiling tiles, as one of them should be marked to signify the one that has the WAP above it. I can see from my WAP dashboard that the southernmost one is offline, and has been since 5:33 that evening. Eventually we give up, as everybody is asleep (because it is one loving AM) and I agree to drive on site at 9:30 this morning. I show up, start looking for the WAP, and can't see any ceiling tiles. On a hunch, I check the maintenance closet. The field tech was on-site, swapped out the WAP that we can actively manage using our online WAP management dashboard, and replaced it with a lovely Honeywell box that I had to manually reset. He documented none of this. He had a ticket at 4:30 yesterday to run out there and check on the LAN for the hotel's Property Management System. He wasn't scheduled to touch any WAPs, he didn't document touching any WAPs, but the girl at the front desk let me know that he swapped them out because... ?????????? I'm going to beat him to death with a wireless access point I swear to loving god. If he had just documented this WAP instead of loving off after swapping them out, I may have been able to resolve the call within 10 minutes and go back to enjoying my night out.
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Nov 8, 2014 16:56
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A lady's hard drive started failing in her laptop and she ignored the warnings. She only told us when applications and start ups were so slow that she couldn't work for the first half hour when getting in. During diagnostics I uncovered a friendly SMART stat showing 112 free fall events, resulting in immediate hard drive freezes every time. She claims she has no idea how that would happen.
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Nov 8, 2014 21:53
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GargleBlaster posted:Call me cynical but it's amazing how many company iPhones seem to get "accidentally dropped" shortly after a new release and how many of those drops seem to smash up the LCD as well as the touchscreen or are stilletto-shaped etc. Just after the iPhone 6 came out I dropped my 5s phone on a concrete floor. Even with the protective case the screen cracked. I thought "I've just become one of those guys they talk about in the thread." Instead I just expensed the $100 for a 5s replacement instead of trying to finagle a 6 out of the deal.
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Nov 9, 2014 00:07
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Judge Schnoopy posted:A lady's hard drive started failing in her laptop and she ignored the warnings. She only told us when applications and start ups were so slow that she couldn't work for the first half hour when getting in. Working remotely from the Vomit Comet?
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Nov 9, 2014 01:20
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Judge Schnoopy posted:A lady's hard drive started failing in her laptop and she ignored the warnings. She only told us when applications and start ups were so slow that she couldn't work for the first half hour when getting in. Time to replace the spinning rust with an SSD? 
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Nov 9, 2014 01:38
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death .cab for qt posted:Last night at 11:30 I get a call, a hotel is having issues accessing a WAP on the south side. They've had three guests complain. Are you certain swapping, ah, hardware was the only thing going on in that closet?
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Nov 9, 2014 04:31
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Wibla posted:Time to replace the spinning rust with an SSD? Since she's running lotus notes this was absolutely my first and last recommendation. The failed hard drive was under warranty though so the company opted with "don't spend money, get marginal improvement for a little while" over "spend a little for a night and day difference in productivity and data safety for ms. tosses company property." Awesome of Dell to overlook the free fall events though. Their warranty policy for IT groups is basically to throw parts at the problem as fast as they can.
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Nov 10, 2014 01:54
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The additional annoyance with these phones is we're with some lovely middle-man company (not my decision) instead of dealing with the network directly, to save like 5% off the bill or something. Said company seems to be finding it ludicrously difficult to get hold of iPhone 6 and nanosim stock from the network to send to us. (Personally, I suspect they've failed to pay the network). We've been waiting a couple of weeks now. So of course there's one (bit of a sense of entitlement - top boss's wife and all that) who's always down a couple of times a day with "WHERE IZ MY IPHONE?!?! WHY AREN'T YOU ON THE PHONE CHASING IT?" - erm, we have other things to do? And we already ask about once a day for an update. "Well you should be chasing them harder! I want my iPhone!"  tomapot posted:Just after the iPhone 6 came out I dropped my 5s phone on a concrete floor. Even with the protective case the screen cracked. I thought "I've just become one of those guys they talk about in the thread." Haha. Well I suppose there's the occasional legit one!
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Nov 10, 2014 10:01
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loving branch manager in charge of signature testing makes a big goddamned deal about us documenting the rule implementation process late last week, then demands that my boss provide someone to sit on a teleconference with her today. So I cancel the day off that I have planned and come in this morning to find an out-of-office message stating that she's on vacation today and will be back on Wednesday and instead I have to deal with her thumb drive cop minion.
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Nov 10, 2014 14:35
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GargleBlaster posted:The additional annoyance with these phones is we're with some lovely middle-man company (not my decision) instead of dealing with the network directly, to save like 5% off the bill or something. Said company seems to be finding it ludicrously difficult to get hold of iPhone 6 and nanosim stock from the network to send to us. (Personally, I suspect they've failed to pay the network)... Depending on the deal structure, in many cases it's the opposite: the carrier pays the dealer a commission on everything after the goods sell. The dealer may have inventory that belongs to the carrier, but they don't always pay a fee to carry that inventory (unlike, say, car dealerships). The disadvantage, of course, is that smaller dealers don't get preferential treatment, such as large stocks of the newest phones. When you deal with a carrier directly, you're typically dealing with the largest dealer--the carrier itself--so inventory is less of a problem. Tell your boss that you're saving 5% on Telco costs in exchange for being a lower priority for hardware upgrades. That may be a perfectly good business decision, but you're not getting the 5% discount for nothing.
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Nov 10, 2014 14:50
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We're now at 6 days and counting to have our sister site's FTP server allowed through our new firewall. It's actually affecting production at this point. 
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Nov 10, 2014 15:33
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jammyozzy posted:We're now at 6 days and counting to have our sister site's FTP server allowed through our new firewall. It's actually affecting production at this point. Is this due to one of those change freeze policies whose intention is to avoid affecting production? I love those policies: they assume implicitly that: 1. Everything in production is currently fine and 2. Time stands still
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Nov 10, 2014 15:51
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We got a "great job!" email sent to "All employees" from some random person last Friday. It's still making the rounds today with people reply-all'ing with such insightful commentary as "Yay!" and "Good job team!". 
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Nov 10, 2014 17:23
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Ynglaur posted:Is this due to one of those change freeze policies whose intention is to avoid affecting production? I love those policies: they assume implicitly that: No, it's just a botched deployment of a new security policy. The policies themselves are sensible, it's just corporate IT have been sat with their thumbs up their collective arses not fixing it. A second FTP site we use was set up fine. 
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Nov 10, 2014 18:08
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Sheep posted:We got a "great job!" email sent to "All employees" from some random person last Friday. It's still making the rounds today with people reply-all'ing with such insightful commentary as "Yay!" and "Good job team!". "Fantastic job, QA! ...Also please remove me from this mailing list, thanks."
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Nov 10, 2014 19:26
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DrAlexanderTobacco posted:"Fantastic job, QA! re: Please remove me from this list.
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Nov 10, 2014 19:32
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I have to do a ppt presentation about how a bunch of our kit got owned (basically, they put it on the internet with an all lowercase dictionary word as the password) and what we need to do to fix it, and where to go long term. I've been saying for a while that the way the kit is set up is crap and they need to do something about it, it's fallen on deaf ears until the ISP started disconnecting lines. Been trying to find out for a week who is actually going to be at the thing, so I can figure out what sort of level of information to present, and gotten no-where until tonight. I have to leave tomorrow afternoon to get to where the meeting is. Turns out that the skill levels of the people range from a senior infrastructure engineer at head office who is actually a very competent networking person but knows absolutely gently caress all about our project, to our project manager, his boss and his bosses boss, who know the project very well but likely still have home router SSIDs called "linksys", and some of the installation engineers who are literally blokes who drive around in a van, install these things and know gently caress all about computing. So I guess I'm going to bore the infrastructure guy to death now as I explain stuff he almost certainly already knows, such as why the ones behind NAT didn't get owned and why relying on that is still a terrible idea.
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Nov 10, 2014 19:45
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psydude posted:re: Please remove me from this list. re: Please stop using reply all! 
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Nov 10, 2014 22:11
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I never thought I'd be buying bitcoins of all the goddamn idiotic poo poo for work to unlock a machine with cryptowall and insufficient offsite backups, but here we are. At least I'm not personally paying for any of this nonsense. Bitcoin businesses must be making a killing off of cryptowall.
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Nov 10, 2014 23:39
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System file checker has never done a drat thing in all the years I've used it, even on very obviously messed up machines.
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Nov 11, 2014 02:05
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skooma512 posted:System file checker has never done a drat thing in all the years I've used it, even on very obviously messed up machines. This has been bugging the hell outta me. Where the hell is your avatar from?
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Nov 11, 2014 02:07
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RadicalR posted:This has been bugging the hell outta me. Where the hell is your avatar from? The video for Hotel Detective by They Might Be Giants https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkVHvD-IMbg
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Nov 11, 2014 02:18
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skooma512 posted:System file checker has never done a drat thing in all the years I've used it, even on very obviously messed up machines. I've gotten so far as it telling me things fixed, but it's never alleviated a single symptom of a problem. Besides checking and registering .DLLs I don't think it does anything, and I can't honestly say I've come across a problem caused by bad .DLLs.
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Nov 11, 2014 03:30
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skooma512 posted:System file checker has never done a drat thing in all the years I've used it, even on very obviously messed up machines. SFC has never solved anything for me either. Chkdsk, however...
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Nov 11, 2014 05:13
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SFC is when you are out of ideas and are like "I know this won't fix anything, but this will give me 15-20 minutes to think and make it look like I'm doing something". At least it has been in my experience.
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Nov 11, 2014 06:18
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poo poo pissing me off: my new assistant asked me if having lots of files on the desktop slows the computer down. This is why you don't let management hire a guy who worked at a pizza place because "he has the best people skills".
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Nov 11, 2014 06:19
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Mattress Man posted:poo poo pissing me off: my new assistant asked me if having lots of files on the desktop slows the computer down. I had a quick google and couldn't find an answer to this, but would having an actually large amount of files in there (the NTFS max files per folder is 4294967295) slow down your desktop? I imagine it'd nuke the unused icons cleanup wizard at least.
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Nov 11, 2014 06:36
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Someone recently posted that it was actually a bug in the Win95 days, but that seems like the kind of thing that is easy to claim is true because who's checking that? My money says who cares.
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Nov 11, 2014 06:51
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