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Don Lapre
Mar 28, 2001

If you're having problems you're either holding the phone wrong or you have tiny girl hands.
Microsoft should just sell them on ebay.

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Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
Heard Sunset OD is now good

c/d

hanyolo
Jul 18, 2013
I am an employee of the Microsoft Gaming Division and they pay me to defend the Xbox One on the Something Awful Forums

Alan Smithee posted:

Heard Sunset OD is now good

c/d

It has always been good. Most of the preview videos show the start of the game which is quite slow until you unlock the air dash a couple of hours in. Metacritic of 82 :cool: Insomniac is back!

eric
Apr 27, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
They were scared of another titanbone bundle catastrophe so they made a few thousand white bundles.

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


hanyolo posted:

Yeah they're going on ebay for heaps too :smith: hopefully they'll get their act together and release another white console bundle soon.
> Discussion > Games > Xbox One: Hopefully They'll Get Their Act Together And

Pathos
Sep 8, 2000

It's interesting. The last thread was a solid nonstop mocking of the XBone. This thread is more like the sad lonely kid in elementary school who's 6 months behind the latest fad, trying to catch up.

It's okay, Jimmy. I'm sure your Sunset Overdrive will be popular again next year.

Seedge
Jun 15, 2009
Hey, buddy. :glomp:



VincesUndies posted:

Lol

2 million out of how many consoles?
Remember when TitanFall sold 2 million on Xbox One?

Eh, where did you hear this?

hanyolo
Jul 18, 2013
I am an employee of the Microsoft Gaming Division and they pay me to defend the Xbox One on the Something Awful Forums

Pathos posted:

It's okay, Jimmy. I'm sure your Sunset Overdrive will be popular again next year.

A game doesn't have to be popular to be good? The amount of sheep in this thread is crazy

Seedge posted:

Eh, where did you hear this?

A quick google shows VGCharts to be the source, so not sure how reliable it is but since it sold 1 million in 3 weeks it's more than likely it's hit 2 mill by now.

http://segmentnext.com/2014/08/05/titanfall-sales-reach-2-million-on-xbox-one-3-million-in-total/

hanyolo fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Nov 10, 2014

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

hanyolo posted:

A quick google shows VGCharts to be the source, so not sure how reliable it is

Not remotely.

Saladman
Jan 12, 2010

eric posted:

The kinect was supposed to be the center of the Xbox universe. It was going to be the revolutionary device to control the ultimate all in one TV box. Then MS panicked about the terrible Xbox sales and abandoned it six months after release. If amniocentesis existed for consoles kinect 2 would have been aborted before release instead of being sent to the orphanage.

Gotta give MS credit for abandoning that piece of poo poo though (I own a Kinectbone). If Nintendo had released the Bone, they would've doubled-down and released an updated version that had two Kinects and no Xbox.


I see Kinect 2.0s in the secondhand shop going for about $80 here. Not sure if anyone actually buys them, but maybe someone wants them now that there's a PC adapter. I haven't sold mine so I don't know what they actually go for, since mine is busy gathering dust in the basement.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

hanyolo posted:

Yeah I 100% agree, there wasn't really any reason to buy a bone at launch unless you *really* liked Forza/Ryse/KI.

there is still literally no reason to own a bone, there is still no release coming up that justifies it within like, a whole year

Kaddish posted:

I was thinking about getting the Plex Pass actually, it's pretty cheap and seems like it would be pretty useful. I'll stick to dlna for now.

well if you were on ps4 you could've just streamed to its web browser without needing a plex pass :(

Seedge
Jun 15, 2009
Hey, buddy. :glomp:



hanyolo posted:

A game doesn't have to be popular to be good? The amount of sheep in this thread is crazy


A quick google shows VGCharts to be the source, so not sure how reliable it is but since it sold 1 million in 3 weeks it's more than likely it's hit 2 mill by now.

http://segmentnext.com/2014/08/05/titanfall-sales-reach-2-million-on-xbox-one-3-million-in-total/

So, since TLOU hit 1 million in one week-ish, it must be at like 6 billion by now.

Sales at launch /= sales through year.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

oh yeah, was at my buddy's house again the other day, had been playing the new cod on ps4 and then went and played it on an xbone. first thing of note is that his DAY ONE EDITION pad already has stick drift which is unbelievably annoying. secondly, even with the resolution difference being only quite small, it's still plainly obvious on foliage, distance views etc, and the torn frame are hideous.

my official review: One out of 32mb

SBJ
Apr 10, 2009

Apple of My Eye

Laughter in the Sky
It's loving hilarious that people abandoned the kinnect while the ps4 camera that received little to no hype (and was sold separately) had high demand and was out of stock simply due to word of mouth about the playroom

e: sorry shadow puppet, fixed spelling to have 2 n's.

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO




The answer is yes, people are now having this problem. Its today's new low.

History Comes Inside!
Nov 20, 2004




shadow puppet of a posted:



The answer is yes, people are now having this problem. Its today's new low.

Yeah but they can probably just fix it with a controller firmware update that only has a small-medium chance of completely bricking your controller :smuggo: eat poo poo other console havers

HyperPuma
Jun 24, 2007

b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but trump is president
help my controller bluescreened

Crafty
Dec 9, 2003

I CAN'T SEE SHIT.












xbox one is the best

Captain Internet posted:

I don't own any new consoles and have a 360. The Xbone is a mediocre gaming machine that was self hyped as the next big water cooler television sport entertainment and fell on its face out of the gate.

This makes it funny. I hope this has elucidated why people make fun of it. It's not proper console warrioring, it's more like bullying.

So you guys see yourselves as big bad playground bruisers, dishing out Sony justice? Jesus man, just stick to console warrior. Is slightly less embarrassing.

Dark souls 2 launched in march against titanfall. Look at the npd, titanfall 1 (Xbox one sales alone) dark souls 2 (360 & ps3 combined) charted at 6. The following month dark souls had dropped completely out of the top 20 and titanfall was still number one. Bare in mind the relative install bases and this is even more hilarious. When you also acknowledge that titanfall bundles are not included in npd you see what a titan stomp this really is.

It's no surprise that you guys are excited for bloodbourne , it will literally be the first non poo poo game on your wobbly console. Also being single player focused means it won't completely break psn, yipeeee! But lets not get too excited, it's generally not a big seller, though I imagine after this year and a half famine it will be snapped up ferociously. :shrug:

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



Crafty posted:

So you guys see yourselves as big bad playground bruisers, dishing out Sony justice? Jesus man, just stick to console warrior. Is slightly less embarrassing.

Dark souls 2 launched in march against titanfall. Look at the npd, titanfall 1 (Xbox one sales alone) dark souls 2 (360 & ps3 combined) charted at 6. The following month dark souls had dropped completely out of the top 20 and titanfall was still number one. Bare in mind the relative install bases and this is even more hilarious. When you also acknowledge that titanfall bundles are not included in npd you see what a titan stomp this really is.

It's no surprise that you guys are excited for bloodbourne , it will literally be the first non poo poo game on your wobbly console. Also being single player focused means it won't completely break psn, yipeeee! But lets not get too excited, it's generally not a big seller, though I imagine after this year and a half famine it will be snapped up ferociously. :shrug:

Captain Internet posted:

I don't own any new consoles and have a 360. The Xbone is a mediocre gaming machine that was self hyped as the next big water cooler television sport entertainment and fell on its face out of the gate.

This makes it funny. I hope this has elucidated why people make fun of it. It's not proper console warrioring, it's more like bullying.

Captain Internet posted:

I don't own any new consoles and have a 360.

maybe you should post another review of cod singleplayer to refute someone's post about multiplayer :laugh:

koolkal
Oct 21, 2008

this thread maybe doesnt have room for 2 green xbox one avs
u either own an xbone or u dont

hanyolo
Jul 18, 2013
I am an employee of the Microsoft Gaming Division and they pay me to defend the Xbox One on the Something Awful Forums
lol @ not owning any next gen console and still posting FUD in this thread. Does the thought of people enjoying games make you literally shake? That is MRA levels of autism

Crafty
Dec 9, 2003

I CAN'T SEE SHIT.












xbox one is the best

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

maybe you should post another review of cod singleplayer to refute someone's post about multiplayer :laugh:

Who says you have to own a new console to be a console warrior? Haven't you heard of stux?

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


hanyolo posted:

lol @ not owning any next gen console and still posting FUD in this thread. Does the thought of people enjoying games make you literally shake? That is MRA levels of autism

I love the thought of people tenderly loving their bones. I love the image of that goon that bought a bone today thinking:

quote:

The TV stuff is actually pretty cool and the voice commands work pretty well.

Because he has an unnaturally high voice and finds the experience smoother than plugging in a USB (1:4 chance of needing a hard reset) mouse to move his system icons around.

How do you not understand that people who would talk about the Xbox One continually since May 2013 love this system with all their hearts. Ownership is no barrier to Bonership.

History Comes Inside!
Nov 20, 2004




hanyolo posted:

lol @ not owning any next gen console and still posting FUD in this thread. Does the thought of people enjoying games make you literally shake? That is MRA levels of autism

tbf boner posts are only a sideshow to watching microsoft gently caress up everything they try and do to save the xbox one all in one entertainment system from Microsoft.

We had an entire thread of that without any boner posts at all, powered solely by schadenfreude.

hanyolo
Jul 18, 2013
I am an employee of the Microsoft Gaming Division and they pay me to defend the Xbox One on the Something Awful Forums

shadow puppet of a posted:

How do you not understand that people who would talk about the Xbox One continually since May 2013 love this system with all their hearts. Ownership is no barrier to Bonership.

Unrelated, but I feel bad for the old thread getting nuked just after you put your ad up, so I'm willing to buy a emoticon if someone can come up with a good one. Rough ideas:

- :drat: except with Phil or Major coming out and saying FUD
- Alternatively, an xboone coming out and saying something stupid and pixely, bonus points for screen tear
- A ram with ES on it

Also, please post your pet next to your gaming device of choice

Avalanche
Feb 2, 2007
Neogaffers are saying that Xbones in the new bundles contain hosed up hard drives that squeak/chirp/scratch. The console or the OS or loving jesus never stops accessing the HD so you end up with hearing something akin to crickets/electrical noise when your "whisper quiet" console is on.

It's funny MS still is using a lovely batch of hard drives. I had this same problem back in Jan when I still owned an Xbone. Then again I don't understand how this can happen considering it's the same drive in the PS4 unless the Xbone PSU is so lovely, it is not pumping enough wattage to properly power every Xbone component.

Maybe the PSU needs more ram.

Crafty
Dec 9, 2003

I CAN'T SEE SHIT.












xbox one is the best

Bobtista posted:

tbf boner posts are only a sideshow to watching microsoft gently caress up everything they try and do to save the xbox one all in one entertainment system from Microsoft.

We had an entire thread of that without any boner posts at all, powered solely by schadenfreude.

To be honest after launch week the material really went stale, unless you think '32mb of ram!' repeated over and over is funny (you probably do).
I'd say there's better comedy material if you look at the Sony camp right now.

Good games coming this holiday season? Shh.

Driveclub multi working yet? Uhm

Free version of driveclub everyone was promised as compensation for the full year delay? Yeah about that...

At least psn is totally solid now everyone is forced to pony up fifty dollars a year? Sort of!

A real poo poo show :laugh:

But you can't laugh unfortunately, because mugs like you and captain capslock actually went out and bought a system that's best exclusive is knack :(

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


The xbox one is maybe thread not being able to put out 1079p ages is the greatest outcome that could have ever happened to it. No need to feel bad. Imagine if the thread dragged on for two weak years only to be sold off to piecemeal to Lenovo, Hanspree and Amaazon.

I think our best bet for an emoticon would be some "full experience" small gif of Cortana we can put in the corner of our posts. I think I speak for most of the fanbase when I say we want that idea.

Also, we could make a gif of :150bux: that also appears as a wordfilter if someone says kinect/kinnect.

Crafty posted:

To be honest after launch week the material really went stale, unless you think '32mb of ram!' repeated over and over is funny (you probably do).
I'd say there's better comedy material if you look at the Sony camp right now.
Post the thread Fame Crafty!

shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 11:35 on Nov 10, 2014

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


Gah, double posted. I need to update my keyboard's firmware

SBJ
Apr 10, 2009

Apple of My Eye

Laughter in the Sky
Crafty if you post the Sony-shaming thread you can become an inverse shadow puppet. an actual puppet.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

Crafty posted:

So you guys see yourselves as big bad playground bruisers, dishing out Sony justice? Jesus man, just stick to console warrior. Is slightly less embarrassing.

Dark souls 2 launched in march against titanfall. Look at the npd, titanfall 1 (Xbox one sales alone) dark souls 2 (360 & ps3 combined) charted at 6. The following month dark souls had dropped completely out of the top 20 and titanfall was still number one. Bare in mind the relative install bases and this is even more hilarious. When you also acknowledge that titanfall bundles are not included in npd you see what a titan stomp this really is.

It's no surprise that you guys are excited for bloodbourne , it will literally be the first non poo poo game on your wobbly console. Also being single player focused means it won't completely break psn, yipeeee! But lets not get too excited, it's generally not a big seller, though I imagine after this year and a half famine it will be snapped up ferociously. :shrug:


one of these things is not like the other, one of these things was hailed as a CoD killer and competing in a market where you're expected to shift millions of SKUs in the first week to have a chance at keeping a long term player base. the other is a relatively small game, buy a relatively small studio, catering to a relatively small market that, like the previous game, way outsold its projected sales.

i dunno man, there are a poo poo ton of games on the ps4, and we don't have to pretend to like sunset overdrive or killer instinct either. got all your third party needs better catered for, and a poo poo ton more little cool cheap games. future IPs that are actually something to look forward to rather than ancient games made by 3rd rate fill-in studios. also if you've had PS+, the best value online games subscription service, you already have about 24 games for it for $10 less than XBL! and the first free retail/AAA games start next month. its pretty good man :)

Crafty
Dec 9, 2003

I CAN'T SEE SHIT.












xbox one is the best

Stux posted:

one of these things is not like the other, one of these things was hailed as a CoD killer and competing in a market where you're expected to shift millions of SKUs in the first week to have a chance at keeping a long term player base. the other is a relatively small game, buy a relatively small studio, catering to a relatively small market that, like the previous game, way outsold its projected sales.

i dunno man, there are a poo poo ton of games on the ps4, and we don't have to pretend to like sunset overdrive or killer instinct either. got all your third party needs better catered for, and a poo poo ton more little cool cheap games. future IPs that are actually something to look forward to rather than ancient games made by 3rd rate fill-in studios. also if you've had PS+, the best value online games subscription service, you already have about 24 games for it for $10 less than XBL! and the first free retail/AAA games start next month. its pretty good man :)

I thought sales were hugely important to you stux? Now I see sales are only hugely important to you if one of the products on sale is hailed as a cod killer. My mistake! Do forgive me, I try to keep up.

SBJ posted:

Crafty if you post the Sony-shaming thread you can become an inverse shadow puppet. an actual puppet.

If I ever find myself with 8 free hours a day and a hankering for trawling reddit/neogaf and the rest of the internet for every hint of a morsel of negative news regarding Sony - I'll be sure to start the thread!

I'm not a console warrior, I'm a console bully!! (that's much better you see?)

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


Crafty posted:

If I ever find myself with 8 free hours a day and a hankering for trawling reddit/neogaf and the rest of the internet for every hint of a morsel of negative news regarding Sony - I'll be sure to start the thread!

Its 10 with a half for lunch, but you do get a paid month off whenver Louisgod retakes power.

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



Crafty posted:

If I ever find myself with 8 free hours a day

so during the patch for MCC?

:lol: owning a next gen console

Wiggly Wayne DDS
Sep 11, 2010



Crafty posted:

I thought sales were hugely important to you stux? Now I see sales are only hugely important to you if one of the products on sale is hailed as a cod killer. My mistake! Do forgive me, I try to keep up.


If I ever find myself with 8 free hours a day and a hankering for trawling reddit/neogaf and the rest of the internet for every hint of a morsel of negative news regarding Sony - I'll be sure to start the thread!

I'm not a console warrior, I'm a console bully!! (that's much better you see?)
There already was a PS4 Shark Tank: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3640763

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

Crafty posted:

I thought sales were hugely important to you stux? Now I see sales are only hugely important to you if one of the products on sale is hailed as a cod killer. My mistake! Do forgive me, I try to keep up.


If I ever find myself with 8 free hours a day and a hankering for trawling reddit/neogaf and the rest of the internet for every hint of a morsel of negative news regarding Sony - I'll be sure to start the thread!

I'm not a console warrior, I'm a console bully!! (that's much better you see?)

sales are important of course, but if you're comparing a niche japanese RPG which sells based on difficulty and inaccessibility against the next multiplayer FPS by the makers of one of the best selling franchises of all time you're missing the point

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO



This would make a pretty good refuge for people asking actual Xbox One tech support questions.

Just saying.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

it was literally being hailed as a console seller etc, thats what makes it failing funny. the same as microsoft tried to do with sunset overdrive as well. its a fun little game, but its not a system seller at all. ms touting it as one and then having it fail to do so is where the schadenfreude lies.

Crafty
Dec 9, 2003

I CAN'T SEE SHIT.












xbox one is the best

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

so during the patch for MCC?

:lol: owning a next gen console

Yeah :lol: at those fools!

I prefer to spend my time reading everything about new consoles all day and then posting on a forum where I aim to ridicule owners of net gen consoles with a series of sick one liners.

*captain capslock takes a puff on his cigarette and expands his large chest right out, he exhales the smoke into the air and slaps himself on the back*

"those dumb fools" *refreshes reddit hoping for new material*

Well there we have it. Xboners confirmed more mature than poorstation owners. Though to be far the copious amounts of Psn downtime is perfect for internet posting :shrug:

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shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


Crafty posted:

Yeah :lol: at those fools!

I prefer to spend my time reading everything about new consoles all day and then posting on a forum where I aim to ridicule owners of net gen consoles with a series of sick one liners.

*captain capslock takes a puff on his cigarette and expands his large chest right out, he exhales the smoke into the air and slaps himself on the back*

"those dumb fools" *refreshes reddit hoping for new material*
Now add in the layer that includes endlessly, weakly refuting everything the fools gather up.

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