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Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

cobalt impurity posted:

What, I have to have the pod and the packet? Get back to me when your products aren't so convoluted and bullshit, Campbell's. I don't have that much time to dedicate to soup! :argh:

I just open up a can and pour it on the floor and lick it off the floor like a animal eat it cold. Like god intended.

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Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON

bringmyfishback posted:

Yeah, I'm not saying a Keurig doesn't produce hot water, I'm saying that producing hot water's sort of what it DOES. Like, it's perfectly legit to use it to make instant oatmeal or ramen or anything else (assuming, of course, that you aren't dumb enough to add a pod) but it's not really a hack. It's like saying, "Lifehack: spread peanut butter on apples, not just bread!" Yeah, it's a good idea, but it's still basically using peanut butter as intended.

I think the "hack" comes from most (all?) of the consumer models don't have an option to just output hot water - you have to run them through a brew cycle. The commercial units have an option to just dispense hot water on demand:



e: doesn't make it any less stupid to call running it through a cycle without a cup inserted a "hack."

Fil5000 posted:

Kettles boil, coffee makers shouldn't, and you generally want boiling water for anything involving dried noodles or pasta.

If you don't have any other way to heat water being 10-20 degrees short of boiling isn't going to ruin your ramen or instant pasta/rice/etc v0v

Geoj has a new favorite as of 18:42 on Dec 1, 2014

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Cracked has another life hack not called life hack article. Including such wonderful ideas like putting olive oil on vanilla ice cream.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

How does the Keurig get the water hot so fast anyway.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010


muscles like this? posted:

Cracked has another life hack not called life hack article. Including such wonderful ideas like putting olive oil on vanilla ice cream.
Olive-oil ice cream is pretty awesome, but I still wouldn't pour neat olive oil over vanilla ice cream. Where's the anti-food porn thread when you need it?

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.


euphronius posted:

How does the Keurig get the water hot so fast anyway.

Electricity.

Islam is the Lite Rock FM
Jul 27, 2007

by exmarx

euphronius posted:

How does the Keurig get the water hot so fast anyway.

This life hack extensively researched by rich dudes in the 1800s.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

muscles like this? posted:

Cracked has another life hack not called life hack article. Including such wonderful ideas like putting olive oil on vanilla ice cream.

quote:


Food hack: order a product :effort:

quote:


Good way to grow your own mold.

quote:


Actual food hack: buy fresh goddamn garlic.

ChaosArgate
Oct 10, 2012

Why does everyone think I'm going to get in trouble?

That garlic one is actually pretty handy, but you either have to crush it slightly with a knife or roll the garlic bulb a little bit to loosen the cloves.

Actual garlic tip: slightly crush an unpeeled clove with the side of a knife and the skin starts to fall off.

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Where the hell do they speak Hot Water?

Rickycat
Nov 26, 2007

by Lowtax

Karma Monkey posted:

Where the hell do they speak Hot Water?

Under the sea, under the sea. Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me

Amoeba102
Jan 22, 2010

My Lovely Horse posted:

Food hack: order a product :effort:

Good way to grow your own mold.

Actual food hack: buy fresh goddamn garlic.

I was stuck wondering whether the entries were serious or satire when I got to:


I recognised a few of the entries that have popped up here before.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Whats a mug cake?

kazil
Jul 24, 2005

Derpmph trial star reporter!

Fil5000 posted:

Kettles boil, coffee makers shouldn't, and you generally want boiling water for anything involving dried noodles or pasta.

I'm pretty certain you don't need boiling water to make Cup Noodles work

Source: I've been to college.

Amoeba102
Jan 22, 2010

euphronius posted:

Whats a mug cake?

It's a cake you make in a mug. Basically, you downsize a cake recipe and put it in a mug. It is a form of lifehack.

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON

Karma Monkey posted:

Where the hell do they speak Hot Water?

I think the more important question is do you really need written instructions to operate a Keurig?

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Amoeba102 posted:

It's a cake you make in a mug. Basically, you downsize a cake recipe and put it in a mug. It is a form of lifehack.

Except it's usually a really bad cake recipe.

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Make_Cake_in_a_Mug

quote:

4 Tablespoons flour
9 Tablespoons hot chocolate mix
1 pinch of salt
1 egg
3 Tablespoons water
3 Tablespoons oil
Cooking Spray


Makes enough for one enormous serving.

1 mug, 9 tablespoons hot chocolate mix. Blarg.

Shwqa
Feb 13, 2012

euphronius posted:

Whats a mug cake?

A cake you make in a mug and microwave. It gets baked and you have a large single serving cake. It was a #lifehack. So some idiot saw the l#lifehack mini cake and said "hey did you know to make it not mini, just make it bigger?"

Amoeba102
Jan 22, 2010

Angela Christine posted:

Except it's usually a really bad cake recipe.


That's what makes it a lifehack.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

As well as the mold issue, if you're looking at your home-baked bread and think, this is nice and all but it really could stand to be a little more like Wonder, something's gone very wrong.

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




BAKE YOUR OWN BREAD AT HOME

BUT WISH IT WAS MORE LIKE WONDER BREAD?

THAT'S AMAZING

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE MY MOM WOULDN'T HAVE LET ME NEAR THE OVEN ON MY OWN

HOW'S TEE BALL GOING?

YOU WON A RIBBON?

THAT'S GREAT, CHAMP, GOOD FOR YOU

Dr. Stab
Sep 12, 2010
👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

http://www.clickhole.com/video/5-foods-youve-been-eating-completely-wrong-1358

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous
Lifehack: Don't own a mug? Buy this instead! All the deliciousness of microwave cake without the mess!




No idea is too stupid to be marketable.

Falcon2001
Oct 10, 2004

Eat your hamburgers, Apollo.
Pillbug

hyperhazard posted:

Lifehack: Don't own a mug? Buy this instead! All the deliciousness of microwave cake without the mess!




No idea is too stupid to be marketable.

In a moment of weakness I got one of these. It was pretty good for a microwaved cake thing.

Hemingway To Go!
Nov 10, 2008

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway
I found a good lifehack that demonstrates a good way to measure how many people your pasta dick feeds

SystemLogoff
Feb 19, 2011

End Session?

hyperhazard posted:

Lifehack: Don't own a mug? Buy this instead! All the deliciousness of microwave cake without the mess!




No idea is too stupid to be marketable.

It's not really a new thing, to be fair.

Damn Bananas
Jul 1, 2007

You humans bore me

Wouldn't this just fling the sandwich across the kitchen when it's done?

SomeJazzyRat
Nov 2, 2012

Hmmm...
Plus some brands have a wire panels that gently clamp on the toast to keep it centered. Doing this in some of those toasters will just gently caress it right up.

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

My Lovely Horse posted:


Actual food hack: buy fresh goddamn garlic.

I don't know why the whole world seems to struggle with peeling goddamned garlic so badly. You cut the top and bottom off the clove then peel the skin off. It takes seconds per clove and almost no effort but every time I am cooking and someone sees me peeling garlic they trip over themselves to tell me about this One Weird Trick, Chefs Hate It, which is normally to crush the clove with the flat side of your knife before peeling but then I have to spend a magnitude of time longer peeling the skin off the lovely, crushed cloves and then I have a bunch of crushed cloves which I didn't want because I wanted to slice them or cook them whole or whatever.

Also, :laffo: at the mental image of some smug #lifehacker watching his cheese toast-made-in-a-sideways-toaster being flung halfway across the kitchen then having to try and clean cheese off the heating element in the toaster.

HappyKitty
Jul 11, 2005

Angela Christine posted:

Except it's usually a really bad cake recipe.

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Make_Cake_in_a_Mug


1 mug, 9 tablespoons hot chocolate mix. Blarg.

To be fair, my wife does make a pretty awesome no-flour mug cake that actually uses real ingredients. It's something like two tablespoons of peanut butter, two tablespoons maple syrup, 1.5 tablespoons of cocoa powder, half a teaspoon of baking powder, half a teaspoon of vanilla, and one egg. Mix it up, microwave for a minute or so, get delicious mug cake (microwave time may vary).


Granted, I wouldn't want to try that poo poo as a full-size cake, because the shape and size of a mug is what makes it possible for the baking powder to make the mixture rise; anything with greater area and shallower walls and the whole thing would just fall flat.

Jedrick
Mar 21, 2010

:420: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.
:420:

cyberia posted:

I don't know why the whole world seems to struggle with peeling goddamned garlic so badly. You cut the top and bottom off the clove then peel the skin off. It takes seconds per clove and almost no effort but every time I am cooking and someone sees me peeling garlic they trip over themselves to tell me about this One Weird Trick, Chefs Hate It, which is normally to crush the clove with the flat side of your knife before peeling but then I have to spend a magnitude of time longer peeling the skin off the lovely, crushed cloves and then I have a bunch of crushed cloves which I didn't want because I wanted to slice them or cook them whole or whatever.

Holy poo poo, I'm not the only one! Crushing garlic is so loving backwards.

Futaba Anzu
May 6, 2011

GROSS BOY

cyberia posted:

I don't know why the whole world seems to struggle with peeling goddamned garlic so badly. You cut the top and bottom off the clove then peel the skin off. It takes seconds per clove and almost no effort but every time I am cooking and someone sees me peeling garlic they trip over themselves to tell me about this One Weird Trick, Chefs Hate It, which is normally to crush the clove with the flat side of your knife before peeling but then I have to spend a magnitude of time longer peeling the skin off the lovely, crushed cloves and then I have a bunch of crushed cloves which I didn't want because I wanted to slice them or cook them whole or whatever.

Also, :laffo: at the mental image of some smug #lifehacker watching his cheese toast-made-in-a-sideways-toaster being flung halfway across the kitchen then having to try and clean cheese off the heating element in the toaster.

I use both methods, yours if I'm using less than one bulb and the shake in a bowl for more. I save so many seconds doing it.

Jyrraeth
Aug 1, 2008

I love this dino
SOOOO MUCH

cyberia posted:

I don't know why the whole world seems to struggle with peeling goddamned garlic so badly. You cut the top and bottom off the clove then peel the skin off. It takes seconds per clove and almost no effort but every time I am cooking and someone sees me peeling garlic they trip over themselves to tell me about this One Weird Trick, Chefs Hate It, which is normally to crush the clove with the flat side of your knife before peeling but then I have to spend a magnitude of time longer peeling the skin off the lovely, crushed cloves and then I have a bunch of crushed cloves which I didn't want because I wanted to slice them or cook them whole or whatever.

I grew up with an Eastern European mom and I can peel garlic like a machine with my bare hands. Perfect gloves and garlicy fingers. #Lifehack

Brainbread
Apr 7, 2008

So, the Onion did a series called, "Troublehacking". They covered various topics such as

- Protecting your feet from broken glass
- Clearing white mold from your iphone.
- Opting out of Olive Garden's infinite bread sticks

And

- How to be warmed by blankets

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

drat Bananas posted:

Wouldn't this just fling the sandwich across the kitchen when it's done?

And then you can eat it off the floor like an animal, you piece of poo poo.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


Brainbread posted:

So, the Onion did a series called, "Troublehacking". They covered various topics such as

- Protecting your feet from broken glass
- Clearing white mold from your iphone.
- Opting out of Olive Garden's infinite bread sticks

And

- How to be warmed by blankets

You joke but I just linked this to a friend who has a history of getting "ghetto glitter" stuck in his feet.

Goosed it.
Nov 3, 2011

Angela Christine posted:

Except it's usually a really bad cake recipe.

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Make_Cake_in_a_Mug


1 mug, 9 tablespoons hot chocolate mix. Blarg.

So that's 330 calories of oil, plus 70 calories from an egg, plus I'm guess ~200 from the hot chocolate.

Life hack, eat a third of your daily recommended calorie intake in mug cake, and save calories by making the lowest effort cake of all time.

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013


The world's expert on grilled cheese tried this.

quote:

And here’s another tricky part, if your toaster is anything like mine, it will projectile-launch your toast four feet across the room when it decides it’s “done”. This is a serious issue. Cheese burns are no fun and they seriously feel like molten lava if they just so happen to launch out and hit you in the stomach while you’re wearing a bikini.

It's not worth it.

http://grilledcheesesocial.com/2011/09/06/brave-little-toaster-how-to-make-grilled-cheese-in-a-toaster/

Islam is the Lite Rock FM
Jul 27, 2007

by exmarx
Wonder if that cheese would catch fire.

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Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer
The only thing I can figure is either that specific toaster didn't fling the bread out OR it did and the person that came up with it said gently caress it and posted it anyway. Or it was a joke.

I can see how you could come up with that idea and go "that's brilliant....oh wait" after thinking about it for a few seconds. I can't imagine someone doing it, having their bread end up on the floor but then posting it anyway without knowing they'd get called out on it.

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