cobalt impurity posted:Go gently caress yourself. Sometimes I don't have a hair elastic on me at work, but I always have a handful of zip ties! That sounds like an unusual situation, and you should probably re-prioritize your loose-thing-retainers budget. Also, is that a Pokemon? Google says it's a Pokemon, but it looks like the character from Bubble Bobble, to me.
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Dec 8, 2014 02:59
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cobalt impurity posted:Go gently caress yourself. Sometimes I don't have a hair elastic on me at work, but I always have a handful of zip ties! Just leave your hair down like an animal.
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Dec 8, 2014 03:08
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Yes it is Bub from Bubble Bobble. Lifehack: relax and be free!
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Dec 8, 2014 03:09
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Oh Buzzfeed, you never disappoint. http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/life-saving-holiday-hacks-that-are-borderline-genius 
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Dec 8, 2014 04:05
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 Ah yes, the most magical part of the Santa fable: thousands of ants.
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Dec 8, 2014 04:26
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Lifehack: Let your kids believe in Santa Claus for as long as possible, then let them catch you putting presents under the tree. When they start crying, let them down gently, and assure them that Jesus Christ is real. When they grow up and get into a major auto accident and they only have moments to live, whisper to them the truth: their faith is a lie, and the only thing following our meager existence is a cold, unfeeling void. Moms HATE this weird trick!
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Dec 8, 2014 05:28
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Magic Hate Ball posted:
If it had been sugar, I'm sure I would remember it just as clearly, but for a different reason. 
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Dec 8, 2014 05:42
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"Remember children, Santa Claus is actually a sentient pile of ants in a red suit. Nightmare Before Christmas is just a very skewed version of the real story."
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Dec 8, 2014 05:49
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Screaming Idiot posted:"Remember children, Santa Claus is actually a sentient pile of ants in a red suit. Nightmare Before Christmas is just a very skewed version of the real story." This is my favorite SCP.
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Dec 8, 2014 05:57
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HELLO CHILDREN. ANTA CLAUS HAS COME WITH YOUR SEASONAL MATERIAL BAUBLES. BRING TO ANTA CLAUS YOUR SUGAR COOKIES, CLACK-CLACK.
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Dec 8, 2014 06:23
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Screaming Idiot posted:"Remember children, Santa Claus is actually a sentient pile of ants in a red suit. Nightmare Before Christmas is just a very skewed version of the real story." I misread this as a 'sentient pile of anger in a red suit' which is even better.
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Dec 8, 2014 06:31
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I did the footprint thing for my kids but I used talcum powder.
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Dec 8, 2014 06:33
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Screaming Idiot posted:"Remember children, Santa Claus is actually a sentient pile of ants in a red suit. Explains how he can carry such a large sack around. He uses his mandibles.
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Dec 8, 2014 07:16
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My GF's grandpa would go out every year early in the morning and load all the presents from Santa into a burlap sack, then he would shoot off his shotgun several times and drag the sack into the house, look at the children and go "I missed him again this year, but he dropped these!". Sometimes he would label presents in the sack as being to not any of the kids, and they would be like "Gramps, who is Danny?" and he's just say "Some unlucky SOB who isn't getting a present this year." After he died they discovered he had cashed in his burial plot years earlier to spend the money on weed and his own personal slot machine that he filled with chocolate coins, so pretty much the greatest person who ever lived. I mean, except the part where he used to make his 11 year old daughter drive him home from the bar because he was super wasted, that was probably a bad idea but it was the 50's in rural Oregon.
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Dec 8, 2014 09:17
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El Estrago Bonito posted:
I dunno if he wasn't an angry drunk that sounds pretty bitchin for the daughter.
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Dec 8, 2014 11:04
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El Estrago Bonito posted:My GF's grandpa would go out every year early in the morning and load all the presents from Santa into a burlap sack, then he would shoot off his shotgun several times and drag the sack into the house, look at the children and go "I missed him again this year, but he dropped these!". This owns, old people with guns are cool.
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Dec 8, 2014 13:20
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Screaming Idiot posted:HELLO CHILDREN. ANTA CLAUS HAS COME WITH YOUR SEASONAL MATERIAL BAUBLES. BRING TO ANTA CLAUS YOUR SUGAR COOKIES, CLACK-CLACK. I almost died when I read this, I was mid-swallow of the bite of bagel I was eating and I seriously almost died. I like you.
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Dec 8, 2014 14:41
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El Estrago Bonito posted:My GF's grandpa would go out every year early in the morning and load all the presents from Santa into a burlap sack, then he would shoot off his shotgun several times and drag the sack into the house, look at the children and go "I missed him again this year, but he dropped these!". This man's a true American hero.
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Dec 8, 2014 17:49
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El Estrago Bonito posted:My GF's grandpa would go out every year early in the morning and load all the presents from Santa into a burlap sack, then he would shoot off his shotgun several times and drag the sack into the house, look at the children and go "I missed him again this year, but he dropped these!". It's times like these when I miss my erstwhile homeland. 
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Dec 8, 2014 20:45
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Ms Boods posted:It's times like these when I miss my erstwhile homeland. DemeaninDemon posted:This man's a true American hero. Sorry guys, in today's America, that man is a criminal.
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Dec 8, 2014 20:57
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Stolen from the Funny Pictures thread.mng posted:Well this isn't terrifying
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Dec 8, 2014 21:06
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El Estrago Bonito posted:I mean, except the part where he used to make his 11 year old daughter drive him home from the bar because he was super wasted, that was probably a bad idea but it was the 50's in rural Oregon. For a rural Oregon resident this is actually tremendous foresight and restraint
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Dec 8, 2014 22:02
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Dec 8, 2014 22:34
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I hate coffee either way, so I am a bad judge here. Would that taste as lovely as I immagine? You can clearly see that the coffee went past the eggshell.
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Dec 8, 2014 22:40
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There's no way that would work. And even if you boiled an egg in coffee, EW WTF? Oh and are you gonna drink that coffee now? YECGH
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Dec 8, 2014 22:41
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Does this person think that hardboiled eggs are more difficult to transport than a regular egg or that they need to be made fresh?
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Dec 8, 2014 22:46
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I love the accompanying video for that.
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Dec 8, 2014 22:47
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I doubt even Stella Liebeck’s coffee could hard‐boil an egg.
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Dec 8, 2014 23:09
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How hot are people drinking their loving coffee? And yeah, it would totally taste like coffee and butt.
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Dec 9, 2014 00:59
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Doesn't it take like 16 minutes to hard boil an egg? How long was he in that elevator?
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Dec 9, 2014 01:07
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Not enough time in the elevator to boil your morning egg? Push the emergency stop button and let that cuppa joe do its thing! #yolksonyou
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Dec 9, 2014 01:12
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If it was somehow in there long enough to cook the egg, wouldn't the acid in the coffee leech a bit of calcium out of the egg shell? A 2 for 1 hack for ruining both your egg and your coffee.
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Dec 9, 2014 01:17
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I prefer to osmose my eggs. Lifehack: chewing is for dorks!
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Dec 9, 2014 01:41
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lol if you don't carry around a few raw eggs in your pocket for those long elevator rides.
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Dec 9, 2014 01:44
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Eggs aren't sterilized, they come out of a chicken's butt and are covered with poo poo.
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Dec 9, 2014 02:33
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lmbo if you dont drink coffee that would give you 3rd degree burns if it touched your skin so go to mcdonalds for your coffee egg needs
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Dec 9, 2014 02:50
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It's pretty much a crappy tea egg. Tea eggs are pretty good, but I can't imagine "egg dipped in lovely gas station coffee" would be quite as tasty.
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Dec 9, 2014 02:57
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DoomLazer posted:Doesn't it take like 16 minutes to hard boil an egg? How long was he in that elevator? 10-12 minutes for hard boiled. A cup of poo poo coffee will go cold in 5 minutes. You'll have a half raw egg at best.
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Dec 9, 2014 03:35
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Can we start a three page derail about how coffee is horrible for your health, only manchildren and fats drink it and you should really only drink water because that's what our ancestors evolved drinking? Screaming Idiot posted:Lifehck: Eat coffee grounds straight from the bag. Just eat it. All of it. Eat all the coffee all at once. And then buy another bag and eat that one too and then repeat the process. Repeat it forever. just eat every coffee bean and then die and leave a corpse that is mostly coffee.
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Dec 9, 2014 04:08
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SMASH MOUTH EAT THE COFFEE EGGS
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Dec 9, 2014 04:24
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