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suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Lamprey Cannon posted:

So, they never explained where that prophecy actually came from in the prequels, did they? I presume some piece of EU material came in to fill that void?

Obviously (Wookiepedia delivers). It is as dumb and convoluted as you'd expect.

oh and

A great example of creativity posted:


In the time of greatest despair,
a child shall be born
who will destroy the Sith
and bring balance to the Force.
:downsbravo: that is, like, deep, maaaaan ~

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Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

kingcom posted:

Its star wars so no?

why are you posting itt if you dont like star wars

kingcom
Jun 23, 2012

Fetus Tree posted:

why are you posting itt if you dont like star wars

The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS - its kind of like a hip hop twitter > post the Star Wars EU thing that makes you cringe the most itt

Lamprey Cannon
Jul 23, 2011

by exmarx

blowfish posted:

Obviously (Wookiepedia delivers). It is as dumb and convoluted as you'd expect.

oh and

:downsbravo: that is, like, deep, maaaaan ~

That article posted:

The prophecy was one of hundreds of obscure legends maintained by the Jedi Order, though its origins and actual content remain unknown. It was thought to have been created by the earliest Jedi philosophers, after the creation of the Galactic Republic but before the Jedi assumed an active role in it.

So, not only is it a prophecy that says next to nothing, but nobody actually knows where it came from? And nobody knows exactly how it's worded?

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

kingcom posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS - its kind of like a hip hop twitter > post the Star Wars EU thing that makes you cringe the most itt

If youre reading star wars eu at all i assume you like star wars

kingcom
Jun 23, 2012

Fetus Tree posted:

If youre reading star wars eu at all i assume you like star wars

I liked star wars once. ONCE. Ice cream man is still the best thing in the setting though.

Liquid Dinosaur
Dec 16, 2011

by Smythe
Time of greatest despair? Things seemed relatively fine when the first movie started and anakin was like 5

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
Coruscant suffered basically no change even though huge battles were going on in it's orbit. I mean, you'd think the place would start looking a bit shabby after a few orbital bombardments but I guess the droids were only programmed to shoot at clones + lucas was a bad writer

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
This is the best character

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Bosbit_Matarcher

quote:

Bosbit Matarcher was a Human male from the planet Delemede. In 212 BBY, when he was thirty-five years old, Matarcher bought a Delemedian starhopper, believing he had gotten a great deal for the starship. However, when he engaged the hyperdrive to take a quick jump outsystem, the relativistic shield on the starhopper—which was supposed to protect Matarcher from the strange bends in time and space associated with traveling at such hypervelocity—malfunctioned. The journey to leave the Delemede system took a mere two hours for Matarcher, but when he exited hyperspace, he found that to the outside galaxy, 190 years had passed, making it 22 BBY. Matarcher was now 225 standard years old.

The extreme and unusual malfunction brought Matarcher brief fame, resulting in a minor HoloNet News interview that detailed Matarcher's experience. In the interview, Matarcher said he would be returning to Delemede, but this time, he would be flying transit.

whoopsie

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Well at least he won't have any trouble re acclimating because technology and culture in Star Wars doesn't change at all in 1900 years, much less 190. Hell the ship probably didn't even lose any value.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

Chomp8645 posted:

Well at least he won't have any trouble re acclimating because technology and culture in Star Wars doesn't change at all in 1900 years, much less 190. Hell the ship probably didn't even lose any value.

I never got that how come every one is so dumb is there no school

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!
spice is a helluva drug

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

TOILETLORD posted:

I never got that how come every one is so dumb is there no school

I think that people in Star Wars are actually well educated and proficient in a technical sense, but are firmly rooted in tradition and completely lack creativity.

Basically it's a galaxy of Koreans.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

Chomp8645 posted:

I think that people in Star Wars are actually well educated and proficient in a technical sense, but are firmly rooted in tradition and completely lack creativity.

Basically it's a galaxy of Koreans.

no it makes no sense unless all scientist are just really maintenance dudes. Unless they literally go to a point where it is impossible to make better technology

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

TOILETLORD posted:

no it makes no sense unless all scientist are just really maintenance dudes. Unless they literally go to a point where it is impossible to make better technology

Maybe the technology has reached the limit of the human brain to comprehend, and since the Republic ain't down with genetic engineering or AI development that it's impossible to advance anymore.

makes u think...

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
If I remember right, their technology was all created eons ago by a long dead race of smart people. Humans and other aliens found this old technology and got it to work, but don't fully understand how it works. Like, they don't know what makes a hyperdrive jump really, just that it does. So they can replicate the stuff and even make improvements and tweaks, but they can't really innovate.

But the real answer is they want Star Wars to feel like Star Wars regardless of what era it's in.

The Chad Jihad
Feb 24, 2007


Star Wars kinds works in an alchemical, Spontaneous Generation sense where a world can be wracked with pollution and continuously strip-mined and a thousand years later it's still wracked with pollution and still being strip-mined, and a high-tech prototype is likely just as good as an ancient artifact

I actually think what bugs me most about the EU is retroactively assigning jedi character classes from KOTOR to people, and everything to do with lightsaber styles

OMG BYZANTIUM
Dec 30, 2008
Wait, so was Anakin really supposed to be a virgin birth? I remember going to watch the first prequel with my dad (who was super excited, having seen the originals in the theater) and when Anakin's stupid mom announces that he was born without a man or whatever, my dad said "Oh for gently caress's sake!"

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

OMG BYZANTIUM posted:

Wait, so was Anakin really supposed to be a virgin birth? I remember going to watch the first prequel with my dad (who was super excited, having seen the originals in the theater) and when Anakin's stupid mom announces that he was born without a man or whatever, my dad said "Oh for gently caress's sake!"

"Conceived by the force" I think.

The Force is the milkman of Star Wars.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

OMG BYZANTIUM posted:

Wait, so was Anakin really supposed to be a virgin birth? I remember going to watch the first prequel with my dad (who was super excited, having seen the originals in the theater) and when Anakin's stupid mom announces that he was born without a man or whatever, my dad said "Oh for gently caress's sake!"

historically that just meant you didn't know who the father was because you got boned so much, back when they didn't care about the patriarchy so much as the matriarchy since they could only prove a child belonged to a mother that birthed them.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp

OMG BYZANTIUM posted:

Wait, so was Anakin really supposed to be a virgin birth? I remember going to watch the first prequel with my dad (who was super excited, having seen the originals in the theater) and when Anakin's stupid mom announces that he was born without a man or whatever, my dad said "Oh for gently caress's sake!"

Yeah, he's legit Jedi Jesus.

There's also a part in the third one where it's kind of implied Palpatine (or his master, Darth Baddude) manipulated the Force to create Anakin.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

burritolingus posted:

Yeah, he's legit Jedi Jesus.

There's also a part in the third one where it's kind of implied Palpatine (or his master, Darth Baddude) manipulated the Force to create Anakin.

Plagueius, Sidious's Master.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp

redshirt posted:

Plagueius, Sidious's Master.

Darth names are bad but which is worse: Darth Tyranus or Count Dooku?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

burritolingus posted:

Darth names are bad but which is worse: Darth Tyranus or Count Dooku?

Dooku. What a dumb name.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Darth Try anus.

Also Sheev Palpatine.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

burritolingus posted:

Darth names are bad but which is worse: Darth Tyranus or Count Dooku?

savage opress, cad bane, zero the hutt come to mind.

kingcom
Jun 23, 2012

TOILETLORD posted:

savage opress, cad bane, zero the hutt come to mind.

Darth Andeddu is the darth known for bringing people back from the dead.

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.

OMG BYZANTIUM posted:

Wait, so was Anakin really supposed to be a virgin birth? I remember going to watch the first prequel with my dad (who was super excited, having seen the originals in the theater) and when Anakin's stupid mom announces that he was born without a man or whatever, my dad said "Oh for gently caress's sake!"

I never caught that bit of Phantom Menace. What other horrible poo poo did I miss from that movie?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Well, Anakin IS Force Jesus.

He dies as Vader and spends some time in Hell,
but Rises to redeem all of creation with an act of violence.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
No Vader no hope. Know Vader know hope.

Hefty Leftist
Jun 26, 2011

"You know how vodka or whiskey are distilled multiple times to taste good? It's the same with shit. After being digested for the third time shit starts to taste reeeeeeaaaally yummy."


Arcsquad12 posted:

Did this mod happen to be called Phoenix Rising? Because goddamn if that isn't the spergiest game mod I have ever seen. Every single mentioned planet in its canonical position on the Galactic Map, every ship to scale, and it took three hours to research a basic Star Destroyer.

it was probably something like that, yeah. i found the best mod was by those german steiner guys, at least back then it seemed pretty awesome

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.

TOILETLORD posted:

savage opress, cad bane, zero the hutt come to mind.

I saw an episode with Cad Bane, where he pulled off a heist in the Jedi temple. Seemed like a way better character than his name would suggest, Savage Opress though, god drat.

Ivor Biggun
Apr 30, 2003

A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula

Lipstick Apathy

burritolingus posted:

Darth names are bad but which is worse: Darth Tyranus or Count Dooku?

Darth Dooku

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

Ivor Biggun posted:

Darth Dooku

I just can't unhear Darth Goku.

kingcom
Jun 23, 2012

ThePutty posted:

it was probably something like that, yeah. i found the best mod was by those german steiner guys, at least back then it seemed pretty awesome

Empire at War was a sweet game. I got one mod that let you do all the clone wars stuff and upgrade into imperial tech.

Also

Wicker Man posted:

I just can't unhear Darth Goku.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

Wicker Man posted:

I just can't unhear Darth Goku.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
So they apparently got "Dooku" from "doku," the Japanese word for poison. Should have just stayed with Doku. Also supposedly Dooku means "from the rear end" in Portuguese, so he's called "Dookan" in the Brazilian version. Also a better name.

Ivor Biggun posted:

Darth Dooku

Perfect.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp

Like that Goku doesn't even need a handle for a lightsaber.

a real rude dude
Jan 23, 2005

All Star Wars names are created by a teen trying to find a new username on the internet.

What if I write my name backwards...

What if I look up this word in a different language...

What about like... Darth... Deathdark420

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Neurosis
Jun 10, 2003
Fallen Rib
darth niggerstomper58

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