We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

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Liquid Dinosaur: Dec 16, 2011; by Smythe

What if a janitor mops the floor of a sith lord's throne room and the sith lord slips and dies. Is the janitor, a non force-sensitive, completely normal dude, the new sith lord?

What if when the apprentice makes his move and engages his sith lord in mortal combat, they both mortally wound each other? Who takes power then?

If a jedi kills a sith does he inherit his position and all his assets and servants?

# ? Dec 29, 2014 05:12

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 09:16

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

What if when the apprentice makes his move and engages his sith lord in mortal combat, they both mortally wound each other? Who takes power then?

...I've never considered this. There's the obvious risk of both participants dying in a lightsaber fight so you would think an organization with two members only would be pretty strict when it comes to situations when they could both die.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 05:32

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

What if a janitor mops the floor of a sith lord's throne room and the sith lord slips and dies. Is the janitor, a non force-sensitive, completely normal dude, the new sith lord?

What if when the apprentice makes his move and engages his sith lord in mortal combat, they both mortally wound each other? Who takes power then?

If a jedi kills a sith does he inherit his position and all his assets and servants?

Remember how Palpatine always has some guys following him around everywhere?

They're Sith referees. Sith lord succession pretty much goes by hardcore wrestling rules so falls count anywhere.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 05:39

kingcom: Jun 23, 2012

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Remember how Palpatine always has some guys following him around everywhere?

They're Sith referees. Sith lord succession pretty much goes by hardcore wrestling rules so falls count anywhere.

Star Wars would be a lot better if it operated under the same rules as the WWE imo.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 05:41

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

muscles like this? posted:

Topher Grace did a re edit of the PT that's supposed to be really good but was only shown once to a small group of people.

I refuse to believe anybody could "Fix" the prequels without trashing the lot and reshooting. There just isn't enough meat or bones to the footage to assemble a proper movie.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:05

burritolingus: Nov 6, 2007; by Ralp

That Topher Grace edit sounds interesting. Taking all three movies and making an 85 minute film out of them, and he cut out almost all of Phantom Menace and opens with the Maul fight, isn't a bad idea. You really couldn't make them any worse.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:09

Weird BIAS: Jul 5, 2007; so... guess that's it, huh? just... don't say i didn't warn you.

There's a fan edit on youtube that condensed the three movies together. into a 2 hour 'character piece' about Anakin.

Literally the only PM scene was the tale end of the Maul fight. The rest was still terrible, there was a deleted scene of Anakin meeting Padme's family which I hadn't seen and thought was almost good so of course it was not in the movies originally.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:11

burritolingus: Nov 6, 2007; by Ralp

Weird BIAS posted:

There's a fan edit on youtube that condensed the three movies together. into a 2 hour 'character piece' about Anakin.

Literally the only PM scene was the tale end of the Maul fight. The rest was still terrible, there was a deleted scene of Anakin meeting Padme's family which I hadn't seen and thought was almost good so of course it was not in the movies originally.

Yeah, that really doesn't sound too bad. Sounds like the Topher Grace edit used the same deleted scene.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:14

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

There is no such thing as a good or worthwhile fan edit.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:15

burritolingus: Nov 6, 2007; by Ralp

If I had to choose one or the other, I'd choose That 70's Show's 85-minute version.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:16

Weird BIAS: Jul 5, 2007; so... guess that's it, huh? just... don't say i didn't warn you.

The scene shows Padme is more than a sexy tease, she's a real human bean.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:21

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

annikan our love can never be, that's why i'm by a roaring fire in a god damned leather bustier telling you this

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:22

Weird BIAS: Jul 5, 2007; so... guess that's it, huh? just... don't say i didn't warn you.

Wait so where were her loving parents during the whole Naboo crisis nonsense. I thought they'd be dead or something based on the original movie cuts but nope still alive and kicking in AotC, letting their daughter be a loving queen and then a senator. Getting captured and fighting a war at like 14 years of age.

What do they even do?!?!?

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:35

KiteAuraan: Aug 5, 2014; JER GEDDA FERDA RADDA ARA!

Weird BIAS posted:

Wait so where were her loving parents during the whole Naboo crisis nonsense. I thought they'd be dead or something based on the original movie cuts but nope still alive and kicking in AotC, letting their daughter be a loving queen and then a senator. Getting captured and fighting a war at like 14 years of age.

What do they even do?!?!?

the same thing every parent in Star Wars does. Be a really, really, really loving bad parent.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:37

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

KiteAuraan posted:

the same thing every parent in Star Wars does. Be a really, really, really loving bad parent.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:40

Weird BIAS: Jul 5, 2007; so... guess that's it, huh? just... don't say i didn't warn you.

They might've been good parents. Past tense.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:41

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

what the poo poo did the stormtroopers do to turn them into loving skeletons? stormtroopers mostly just blast people leaving one little like burnt patch.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:43

Jace Madan: Apr 10, 2007; A survivor... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.

Otisburg posted:

what the poo poo did the stormtroopers do to turn them into loving skeletons? stormtroopers mostly just blast people leaving one little like burnt patch.

The only thing I can think of is that they used one of these: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Oppressor_flamethrower

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:49

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

That's not them, the skeleton army happened to be raiding through the area and Ben+Beru took two out before being captured and dragged off. Empire was framed.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:50

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Jace Madan posted:

The only thing I can think of is that they used one of these: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Oppressor_flamethrower

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:53

Hefty Leftist: Jun 26, 2011; "You know how vodka or whiskey are distilled multiple times to taste good? It's the same with shit. After being digested for the third time shit starts to taste reeeeeeaaaally yummy."

source: trading card game

# ? Dec 29, 2014 06:54

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

That's not them, the skeleton army happened to be raiding through the area and Ben+Beru took two out before being captured and dragged off. Empire was framed.

i'm willing to bet there is a literal skeleton race in the EU somewhere

i mean we already have werewolf man and that other cantina guy who was some kind of vampire

# ? Dec 29, 2014 07:07

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Wolfsheim posted:

i'm willing to bet there is a literal skeleton race in the EU somewhere

i mean we already have werewolf man and that other cantina guy who was some kind of vampire

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Givin

# ? Dec 29, 2014 07:10

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Milky Moor posted:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Givin

skeletons ruled by math nerds who select their leader with a algebra contest.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 07:15

Liquid Dinosaur: Dec 16, 2011; by Smythe

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

That's not them, the skeleton army happened to be raiding through the area and Ben+Beru took two out before being captured and dragged off. Empire was framed.

Owen and Beru were fuckboys anyway.

And did you not see "Troops" from the other page? They were incinerated by a thermal detonator accidentally.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 08:01

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Otisburg posted:

skeletons ruled by math nerds who select their leader with a algebra contest.

not even group theory? pffffff losers :spergin:

# ? Dec 29, 2014 09:01

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

There is no such thing as a good or worthwhile fan edit.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 09:04

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Weird BIAS posted:

Wait so where were her loving parents during the whole Naboo crisis nonsense. I thought they'd be dead or something based on the original movie cuts but nope still alive and kicking in AotC, letting their daughter be a loving queen and then a senator. Getting captured and fighting a war at like 14 years of age.

What do they even do?!?!?

She was democratically elected queen at age 13. I wonder how that campaign went.

# ? Dec 29, 2014 09:48