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Since when is their satisfaction my concern?
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Dec 28, 2014 04:27
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Absurd Alhazred posted:I am pretty sure you were supposed to love each other's mothers. Did you not do this? Lots of unsatisfied mothers. There's more than fudge brownies in mom's hot oven to-night.
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Dec 28, 2014 10:34
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A quick snip about a boot mistake I made on Camp Fallujah, days into my first deployment: A couple of friends and I were walking to the chow hall to grab lunch on what was probably day 2 of actually being in country. We hadn't finished up the L/R transfer with the platoon we were relieving yet so we were pretty bored. Being the boot little PFC that I was and not realizing that there was a Marine Corps wide order to not salute shinies, I promptly threw up my hand for a group of female officers as we passed them, a butter bar, a not-so-boot 1st LT and a Captain. One of the guys I'm walking with quickly knocks my hand down but not before the Captain could spin around, grab me by the shoulder and accuse me of being a misogynistic pig dog for saluting a female officer in hopes that she gets shot dead by insurgent forces. I blubbered my way through an apology and continued on. Now, another quick snip about idiot higher ups and the few good officers who rescue us from them: Same deployment, fast forward 5 months and I'm walking out of the same chow hall with a buddy from our sister platoon who's wearing what are probably the flashiest pair of Oakley's in Iraq at the time (Circa 2006). These things have silver/blue frames with orange/red/blue/yellow tinted lenses and apparently "cost $400 bones" according to a statement made by said buddy during this altercation. So we're walking out, as previously stated, when this 1stSgt comes around the corner and instantly draws and levels off a knife-hand at my buddy's face. "Hey Devil! Tell me what's wrong with this image!" he snaps, to which my buddy and I just kind of stare at him. So he goes into this tirade about improper eye protection, about how lovely self discipline and the inability of our peers to police our own (That part leveled at me) combined with eccentric eye protection is leading to the death of Marines around the AO. He then proceeds to ask my friend to hand over his sunglasses, to which this Corporal replies, "If you think I'm going to hand you a pair of $400 Oakley's, you're loving high." As with all E7's and above, this guy proceeds to literally flip his poo poo, raising a second knife hand on high as if he were mere seconds away from laying down the wrath of Chesty Puller the Almighty upon my buddy when, and I swear this is how it happened, a random dust devil entered the courtyard and left within it's wake a salty-as-gently caress-looking Major. The major calmly steps up and asks the 1stSgt what kind of problem he's having. So my buddy and I look at each other and shrug/sigh/resign ourselves to our fate as we're surely hosed at this point. Before the 1stSgt can even finish explaining his issue with the sunglasses the Major interrupts him and asks, "1stSgt, if you've got enough time to walk around this base and correct Marines on their appearance then what the gently caress are you even doing here?" Queue the simultaneous jaw dropping on our end. He then turns to us, giving the 1stSgt his back as steam begins to jet from the old salt-dog's ears and tells us, "You two get along to wherever you're going. Now." So we pop a quick 'Aye Sir!' and take the gently caress off. We've easily got about a half mile sprint back to our trucks and we do indeed sprint for about half of that distance, laughing out loud over what had just happened. No poo poo, as we're getting to our trucks (now a quick walk more than anything) we hear a voice in the distance behind us and turn just in time to see this 1stSgt clearing the corner of battle square about 1/4 mile back, face a deep crimson in color, knife hand raised, eyes beady and full of rage. Needless to say we jumped into our trucks and took the gently caress off back to the staging area. I'll add another story later about the asshat SgtMjr (e9) who, as the Camp Fallujah roadmaster, decided it would be a good idea to stop a QRF section for speeding as they left the base on a QRF call. e: small edits for spelling.. LCL-Dead fucked around with this message at 14:44 on Dec 29, 2014 |
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Dec 29, 2014 14:42
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I was going through my stuff and found some notes and things from my 2009-2010 Iraq deployment. My unit was doing convoy security in MRAPs and an 1151 with a CROWS up top for shits and giggles (which we replaced with an MRAP about halfway through). Our convoy commander and platoon sergeant was a good guy but wasn't exactly blessed with a lot of operational competence. On one of our first missions, our lead scout vehicle had a fuel tanker that wouldn't respond to our usual EOF procedures (blink the Hellfire spotlight mounted on the .50 cals, then throw a chemlight, then shoot a pen flare at them). So he, rather frantically, stammers over the radio "SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT..... UHHH PEN FLARE!" I don't know how the gunner in that vehicle had presence of mind NOT to press down on the trigger, but he didn't. Still, might have been interesting to see what .50 caliber API rounds do to a tanker truck. This same platoon sergeant once asked me, the CROWS gunner, to set up a training course for the platoon with metal objects as IED stand-ins littered around an area and disguised so that everyone could get a chance to see what an IED under a cardboard box might look like. I told him that anything hot enough to show up on an IR camera underneath a box would probably set the box on fire. It took me weeks to explain to him that IR technology was not a magic box that could see through solid objects and show him bombs. One evening we're rolling from one place to another when our lead scout element, whose vehicle was equipped with mine rollers, calls for a halt. I was an eyewitness to none of this, as I was about a mile back in our #4 vehicle. Heard it all over the radio, and I'm sure what was happening in my head was more amusing than reality. Lead Scout: 3 (our commander's vehicle), we've just come to a halt. We've come up on something that looks... almost exactly like an anti-tank mine. 3: Roger. LS: Yeah, we've got pretty good eyes on it. It looks just like an anti-tank mine and it's right next to one of our rollers, so we have a good look at it. 3: Roger, don't run it over. LS: *pause* (You could practically hear the lead scout roll his eyes over the radio in response to this piece of good advice.) Roger. We have an IA here with us, he's asking if we can shoot it. As explained to me later, the Iraqi soldier had no English and our gunner had no Arabic. Their conversation took place between the scout vehicle gunner and the Iraqi soldier in pantomime. LS: Now he's asking us if he can shoot it. The gunner, who was also my roommate, really wanted to tell him yes. The vehicle commander didn't want to damage the rollers, though, if they could help it. Instead he told my buddy to try to get the guy to walk up to it and get as close a look at it as the guy was comfortable doing. LS: He's kicking it. Clearly there was some manner of miscommunication. Frantically, my buddy signs at the Iraqi to stop and to move away. The Iraqi also misinterprets this. LS: Uhh... he's just picked it up and threw it into the desert. We're clear. A few weeks later, we hear a story about how some Iraqi officer blew himself up while taking a Gerber to an IED, presumably while trying to place and arm the thing (or he could have been playing EOD, but I think it was more likely he was only moonlighting as Iraqi Army). The resulting explosion inspired his men to go full death blossom in the middle MSR Tampa and then go raid and loot a nearby village. IA was amusing when they weren't actively collaborating with people setting up loving EFPs to blow the hell out of us on Superbowl Sunday. McNally fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Dec 31, 2014 |
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Dec 31, 2014 08:11
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McNally posted:
 How did we lose this goddamned war?
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Dec 31, 2014 08:53
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Godholio posted:
You can't win when the population hates you more than they hate the militant groups you're fighting. Competence doesn't enter into it.
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Dec 31, 2014 08:57
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Iraq is a dirty, dirty place. Obviously you would want to wait for EOD if you found an anti-tank mine, but the streets are so filled with poo poo that sometimes you just need to verify for yourself and move on. I watched a Patrol Leader and both of the other vehicle commanders huddle around a sack in the middle of the road. It must've been deemed too conspicuous to be an IED because they all started kicking it and stomping on it until there was just shreds of cloth and white dust in the road. At the time I thought it was the dumbest thing I'd ever seen. Patrol continues. Back home before evening chow ends. Brilliant. Wat is it?! "I dunno" Well.. Do we need to call EOD? "gently caress this. I'm kicking it".  (sweeping middle-of-nowhere for weapon caches, not really a place you're going to find an IED in waiting- but it's still funny) edit: After working with the IPs, I was shocked when, in Afghanistan, the ANA guys didn't want to reach into a hole we started digging on a metal-detector blip to see if it was something that shreds human beings. There was a large object wrapped in plastic and buried in an abandoned mudhut. I was kinda peeved. Two hours later, EOD pulled out (and detonated LOLOLOL) a TV. Middle of rural buttfucking Afghanistan. Victor Vermis fucked around with this message at 11:25 on Dec 31, 2014 |
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Dec 31, 2014 11:16
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Godholio posted:
Because dirtfoot hippies and pearl clutching faggots haven't let us fight war properly since WWII.
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Dec 31, 2014 11:50
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Genocide Tendency posted:Because dirtfoot hippies and pearl clutching faggots haven't let us fight war properly since WWII. If arclight isn't proper then I don't know what is.
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Dec 31, 2014 15:16
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Zeris posted:If arclight isn't proper then I don't know what is. Arclight didn't target the center of Hanoi.
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Dec 31, 2014 17:03
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Zeris posted:If arclight isn't proper then I don't know what is. Didn't we arclight the jungle?
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Dec 31, 2014 17:40
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TCD posted:Didn't we arclight the jungle? Arclight missions were flown in an effort to disrupt the Ho Chi Minh Trail. Bombing took place in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia.
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Dec 31, 2014 17:44
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Waroduce posted:Arclight missions were flown in an effort to disrupt the Ho Chi Minh Trail. Bombing took place in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. That's because we used the wrong load. Arclight with B61s would have disrupted it plenty.
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Dec 31, 2014 19:25
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I guess I'm too young. Wikipedia, here I come!
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Dec 31, 2014 19:43
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Genocide Tendency posted:Because dirtfoot hippies and pearl clutching faggots haven't let us fight war properly since WWII. Still upset about the M14 getting replaced?
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Dec 31, 2014 19:52
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LCL-Dead posted:dickhead 1st Sgt This story made me laugh out loud and I'm having a lousy day, so thank you. Also, I did convoy security and had friends in QRF while I was in Afghanistan, so please please tell the Sgt Major story.
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Dec 31, 2014 20:27
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Admiral Bosch posted:This story made me laugh out loud and I'm having a lousy day, so thank you. Also, I did convoy security and had friends in QRF while I was in Afghanistan, so please please tell the Sgt Major story. Scroll down to skip the fluff Fast forward about a year to my second deployment to the glorious Camp Fallujah. The SgtMjr in question here was a dark-green female from 2nd CLB (I think it was 2nd? Could have been 3rd) who was an absolute crybaby / scared little bitch. Apparently, according to the underground, they had to put a paper bag on her head when they convoyed in to Fallujah from TQ on their trip to relieve the previous CLB command because she started hyperventilating... Where they got the paper bag from? I don't know. I don't remember ever seeing one while I was there at least (For sale or otherwise). On her first real mission outside of the base, which just so happened to be something like a 50 vehicle convoy from Fallujah to Ramadi and back, vehicle 2 hit an IED. All the way back in vehicle 27 she began to have a panic attack and proceeded to continue having a panic attack until Corpsmen were called to her vehicle to sedate her with some morphine until they could get her back to Camp Fallujah, because she was apparently ordering the driver, under threat of court martial if he disobeyed her, to turn around and go back to the base. Fast forward a few weeks and due to her being pretty much useless where her units mission was concerned but needing to find her something to do the base, in conjunction with CLB and whoever else's balls they had to tongue gently caress, allowed her to requisition a few "borrowed" pickup trucks from the local population (Of course, she didn't leave the wire to get them) which they then repainted and outfitted with reds and blues so that she could become the base roadmaster. At that point, other idiot non-combative types who needed some way to justify their existence in Iraq jumped onto her bandwagon and a roaming roadmaster patrol was born, complete with rotating shifts. New speed limit signs were posted in areas where there were none before (There were some.. but they were largely ignored) and they began their patrols. We had a few run-ins with her early on. The base had already labeled us as Cowboys for being unsafe and the like so she used to sit outside of our ready ramp/staging area to catch the trucks coming in off of patrols, as well as the ones going out. Usually the infractions involved speeding and vehicle crews not wearing proper PPE. Of course, when you helicopter your dick at a female anything with a position of authority from the roof of your armored vehicle while it's in motion and going over the speed limit, your platoon kind of gets a black eye around the base. At some point during this deployment our platoon, as well as our sister platoon (Each "platoon" being made up of a number of CAAT teams), were tasked with assisting what I believe was an Army Cav unit (Belief spurred on by the presence of Bradley's and M113 mortar variants) in manning a fob up along the northern edge of our AO. The Hooahs didn't have enough manpower to stand up all of the guard towers in proper shifts and tracks thought we had too much time on our hands, so they sent us. Now, we cycled sections in and out of the fob, so one section was there for a 2 week period and patrolled from the fob, while the other two still came back to Flejeune when not on patrol. So, a TIC call comes in. The FOB is under attack by "60-70 well armed insurgents" and is "in danger of being overrun" according to the scared voice on the radio. There are already 2 CAAT teams on patrol, so they immediately respond. Team #1 gets bogged down in brush and gunfire trying to approach from the east side. Team #2 is on it's way up the MSR when they're confronted by a yellow sedan who blows his load a bit prematurely, spraying the lead vehicle with body parts. Then they begin taking fire. QRF call goes out and our standby section takes off. At the time, I was completely off, chilling in a pair of silkies and a t-shirt with my dick in my hand while I watched a movie. Unbeknownst to me, Team 2 has moved past the VBIED and is now on the perimeter of the fob's west wall, while most of the insurgent gunfire is coming from the east / north east. That's about when team 3, QRF, arrives on scene. They are greeted by two more VBIEDs that, like their friend, blew their loads too early and caused no damage (Aside from one very shaken gunner who received a present of innards to the back of his dome). This prompts a call for more QRF because this is a poo poo ton of action for that area. Seriously, we'd never seen that much movement at once. ------ Actual interaction with idiot Sgt Mjr starts after this point ------ Well, QRF didn't have QRF. Queue the mad dash to round up enough bodies to fill 4 more trucks for a 2nd QRF. This is where I get brought in to the fun, running out to a truck from our sister platoon with nike's, silkies, a blouse and a flak/Kevlar. We end up getting enough bodies for the basic needs, 3 to a truck, Gunner/Driver/Commander and one of the Sgt's from the sister platoon takes over command and we move off. Quickest way to the MSR is through the north gate from where we are, which means we've got to cut through the middle of the north side of the base to get to the center road that leads out. So we're driving, I can hear the VC getting names from the rest of the trucks and passing those names up to the CoC via the radio, when out of loving nowhere comes a roadmaster truck from behind us. Her lights are blazing, the throttle is pegged to the floor, I'm thinking we've got an escort right up until she slams on her breaks and turns her little poo poo truck across the road in front of us. We come to a stop and I can hear everyone uttering some form of "what the gently caress" from my truck to the fourth truck. The Sgt in my truck steps out half way and asks, "Can we help you, Ma'am?" "That's Sergeant Major to you, Sergeant and yes, while we're stopped here you can tell me why you think it's alright for you to speed on my base." "Sergeant Major, this is a QRF response, that's why we're speeding. There's a TIC call at a fob north of here and the QRF we already sent out has called for QRF." "That's still no reason to be speeding on my base, Sergeant." At this point she walks back to her truck (She'd stepped up maybe 6 feet towards ours) and grabs a clipboard. "Now what unit are you with?" The Sergeant sits back down in the truck and thumps my shin, telling me to get low in the turret, before turning to the driver and telling him to get ready to drive. He then sticks his head back out, radio in hand and radios up to the CoC that we'd been stopped by the Roadmaster for speeding. He then drops the radio and steps off to the side of the truck, motioning for her to follow him to the edge of the road. If you're a dimwit and can't guess what happened next, I'm sorry. As soon as she's out of the way he walks over to the truck, telling her, "One second, Ma'am", as he does so, where he then proceeds to get in and shut the door before pointing at her truck and saying, "Push it off the loving road." So.. I start laughing right alongside the driver's almost maniacally gleeful laugh and brace as he floors the truck and rams her little Datsun wanna-be right in the front corner panel. it doesn't take much for the hmmwv to push the tiny pickup off the road and once we're through the rest of the trucks follow and we take the gently caress off up north. The reason I quoted the TIC call earlier in the post is because a 60-70 man force ended up being 12 insurgents and a herd of sheep/goats/whatever that had, much to the owners dismay, wandered into the crossfire. Once we got back to Fallujah I didn't stick with the truck for very long. I wished the Sergeant good luck in dealing with the shitstorm that fembot was likely raining down at the CoC before grabbing some chow and heading back to my room. There's a few more that I didn't witness first hand that I'll type up after the new year. Short ones, I promise. Like the SSgt that tried to get a boot to cut open a possible IED in a pillow case with his k-bar.. and the boot went to do it. Fun with Seabees and drivers falling asleep at the wheel. (Seriously, how do you roll an LVS off of the side of an overpass?) Fun with Air Force E-6's fighting with dumb-as-a-brick Marine Corps E-6's over who's command had higher authority to make the other move off of the highway. Fun with dump trucks. Fun with trying to sell the shorter, more effeminate male Marines to locals for sex in trade for some Miranda or Pepsi cases.
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Dec 31, 2014 21:21
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Don't stop. I need this like a dependa needs that sweet BAH.
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Dec 31, 2014 22:12
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I feel that I am fully qualified to kick IEDs. editing a story in: I have a fun one that luckily did not turn into anything major. A year ago when we were in Korea at Pohang doing CJLOTs, where the built the big floating pier and gas bladder on the beach for logistics purposes. A couple of us were attached to the coast guard PSU that was running the waterborne security portion of it, and during the night their security guys were put in charge of guarding the various tent complexes that were around the beachfront. The big circus tent where all the Korean and American brass sit around and chuckle and talk about how good the exercise is going wasn't occupied during the night watch, but they had it surrounded by C-wire for shits and giggles. We were half a mile away in the tactical operations center when we got a call over the radio from the lone guy who was on watch at that tent- "TOC, this is Security Guy, my light plant is on fire." Training drills were being run regularly, but the way the guy said it made it clear that this wasn't a drill. I was on the radio, so I immediately responded, "Security Guy, TOC, turn off the light plant if possible and extinguish the fire." "I don't know how. I also don't have an extinguisher." We flip poo poo. It's raining outside and 40 degrees, and I've had walking pneumonia the entire time but am still the most fit person because these reserve coasties are all fatties. I grab our extinguisher and run off into the dark with a buddy in tow, and when we arrive the top of the light plant has the lights flickering and its just belching flames and smoke. The E3 coastie is just standing there with his rifle like nothing is wrong, and apparently decided that the burning light plant is not that big of an issue. I call back to the TOC to get permission to secure power to it when an army captain comes running out of the circus tent that isn't supposed to be occupied, and asks us what is happening. I told him that I was securing power to the light plant so that I could extinguish the flame safely without risk of getting electrocuted, and he said, "BUT THEN WE WON'T HAVE LIGHT AND THERE IS C-WIRE RIGHT THERE." Meanwhile, the junction box at the top of the light plant is still arcing, smoking, and burning. The first class that came with me told me not to argue with an officer, and that it's his rear end instead of ours. I call back to the TOC and ask if I can ignore him because it's clearly a safety issue allowing gear to sit there ON FIRE when the chief that was on watch responds, "The officer said we shouldn't do it so we shouldn't do it," and the watch officer agreed with him. So I looked around the circus tent to see if there was a fire extinguisher anywhere. This thing had three semi-trailer sized generator/HVAC units, none of which had an extinguisher. The tent itself which was supposed to house 50-70 people during the day didn't have a single extinguisher either, so we left the one we brought with the coastie and went back to the TOC. We left a burning generator sitting there in a compound with a single pretty much completely untrained dude next to a bunch of highly flammable tents. The chief and officer of the watch didn't record it in the logbook either. I had to talk to my actual chief later, because I got really mad at them and berated them for basically doing everything wrong that they possibly could have done wrong with an electrical fire. The watch chief talked to my chief to try to get me in trouble, but instead my chief also called him a loving idiot. Commoners fucked around with this message at 23:10 on Dec 31, 2014 |
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Dec 31, 2014 22:40
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Commoners posted:I feel that I am fully qualified to kick IEDs. Not just anybody can kick IEDs. You have to go through the same rigorous training given to the brave men of the Iraqi Army. IEDs explode, but only for Americans. Kick away. Alrighty, class dismissed.
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Dec 31, 2014 22:42
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LCL-Dead posted:Scroll down to skip the fluff god bless
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Dec 31, 2014 23:04
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Victor Vermis posted:It must've been deemed too conspicuous to be an IED because they all started kicking it and stomping on it until there was just shreds of cloth and white dust in the road. Thanksgiving, 2009. My convoy was halted because of an IED in the middle of the road. It was a 155mm artillery shell with small piece of cardboard on top of it, like a large package from Amazon under your doormat. I have pictures somewhere.
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Jan 1, 2015 00:09
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Jesus, and I thought having to clean out a moat with a rake was bad.
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Jan 1, 2015 05:32
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McNally posted:
That's loving hilarious. I live in the wrong world.
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Jan 1, 2015 06:34
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McNally posted:Not just anybody can kick IEDs. You have to go through the same rigorous training given to the brave men of the Iraqi Army. HaHaHaHa.....
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Jan 1, 2015 07:55
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McNally posted:Thanksgiving, 2009. My convoy was halted because of an IED in the middle of the road. for some reason I love this place.
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Jan 1, 2015 07:58
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This is one of my favorite threads on this forum, still. Jesus.
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Jan 1, 2015 12:45
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Shooting Blanks posted:This is one of my favorite threads on this forum, still. Jesus. I literally read the entire thing and sent my favorite stories to people who are still serving.
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Jan 1, 2015 19:24
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chitoryu12 posted:I literally read the entire thing and sent my favorite stories to people who are still serving. Fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd thought you might enjoy this xoxo dad
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Jan 1, 2015 20:15
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Zeris posted:Fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd How firsthand anecdotes turn into shit_that_didnt_happen.txt
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Jan 1, 2015 20:30
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:How firsthand anecdotes turn into shit_that_didnt_happen.txt Even worse is my brother, who fact-checks grandpa's emails (he just goes on snopes) and replies/all with relevant snippets. The only answer is to delete when you see FWD: in the subject line, or if you're truly brave, set up a filter.
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Jan 1, 2015 21:18
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Anyone else see the Marine PFC that proposed to his wife on TV on New Years? That poo poo is dumb.
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Jan 2, 2015 03:48
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Soulex posted:Anyone else see the Marine PFC that proposed to his wife on TV on New Years? Yeah proposing to your wife is pretty stupid, otherwise seems pretty typical for a Marine.
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Jan 2, 2015 04:50
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Zeris posted:Yeah proposing to your wife is pretty stupid, otherwise seems pretty typical for a Marine. You know what I meant, but yes
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Jan 2, 2015 05:27
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Nucken Futz posted:Please..............please post this. Nice try, Abdul.
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Jan 2, 2015 05:32
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LCL-Dead posted:One of the guys I'm walking with quickly knocks my hand down but not before the Captain could spin around, grab me by the shoulder and accuse me of being a misogynistic pig dog for saluting a female officer in hopes that she gets shot dead by insurgent forces. A guy in basic had a bunch of scribbles in his notebook, like what you do when you're trying to get a pen to start writing. One day he got pulled into the snake pit in the chow hall and one of the TIs said one of the scribbles was a swastika and he was a Jew, so he was very upset about that. It turned into some big deal where he had to go to the orderly room and try to convince everyone that a bunch of random scribbles wasn't really meant to be a swastika. He showed me what he did and it was one of those things where if you look really hard at a bunch of overlapping lines, you could find a hidden swastika that obviously wasn't a swastika unless that's what you really wanted to see.
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Jan 5, 2015 19:52
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LCL-Dead posted:Being the boot little PFC that I was and not realizing that there was a Marine Corps wide order to not salute shinies, I promptly threw up my hand for a group of female officers as we passed them, a butter bar, a not-so-boot 1st LT and a Captain. One of the guys I'm walking with quickly knocks my hand down but not before the Captain could spin around, grab me by the shoulder and accuse me of being a misogynistic pig dog for saluting a female officer in hopes that she gets shot dead by insurgent forces. I was stationed at FOB Freedom outside Mosul in '04 and my battalion ran tons of missions all around northern Iraq and Kurdistan. Wasn't so bad until the summer when temps topped 110 on a regular basis. Anyway, we're out rolling in convoys almost every day and since our destinations are so remote, the missions ran 12 hours more often than not. So by the time we get back on the wire we're swamp assed to the max and just surly as gently caress. The upside is that Freedom was a pretty nice FOB for amenities and such, almost always showers and chow, etc. We had metal hooches for barracks which was pretty nice, even had air conditioning off and on. The showers were in their own hooches, and mine was located right next to one. The FOB was pretty chill until the 101st left and 2nd ID took over the base, after which all these retarded rear end rules got laid down and there seemed to be an endless supply of douchebag E7s and Captains enforcing them. One such rule was that no one could walk around without a shirt on, under any circumstances. So we get back as the sun is setting and I'm caked in road dust and ball sweat. I hit the shower but forget to bring a PT shirt to wear on my way back and hell if I was going to put back my nasty rear end undershirt back on for a 10 foot walk back to my room. So I furtively glance out the fogged up windows and don't see anyone heading that way so I slip out and hurry to my hooch, thinking I'm clear. Next day as we're headed to the motor pool a female major I don't know comes walking up to me with my squad E6, a guy I love to death. With sadness in his eyes he tells me he has to write me up for uniform violation because this major witnessed it the previous day. As I'm signing the paperwork she goes on about how Army regs apply to all soldiers and that being a male doesn't grant me "immunity from doing the right thing" (I remember those exact words). It was the only formal reprimand I ever received from the Army. I kept the counseling statement and I have it framed in my office. It even says "failure to wear a tshirt" under the comments section. The one consolation was that as she was laying into me, my E6 pipes up and says something like "mam, can we speed this up? My soldiers actually have a mission to run today" and I could tell the remark cut her to the bone. Unzip and Attack fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Jan 5, 2015 |
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Jan 5, 2015 21:06
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Things getting worse after the 101st leaves. That belongs in the urban legends thread.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:14
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If anyone's gonna manage it, it's gonna be 2ID.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:16
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My way of countering uniform stupidity was to write a memorandum and work it into the risk assessment. "Well, Sergeant Major, the risk assessment signed by the battalion commander dictates that the uniform will be t shirts while performing manual labor in body armor in heat category IV or higher."
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Jan 5, 2015 21:24
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