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That makes me kind of happy that we were on a Marine Corps base with Marine Corps rules and a general 'don't give a gently caress' attitude if you were in your own areas. Our guys were constantly out in rolled up silkies, sunbathing or someshit or just walking around in what amounted to nothing more than short shorts after the sun went down. I mean, we had rules governing the areas immediately beyond our hooches since the female heads and shower facilities were located right beside the male facilities. You had to be fully clothed to walk up to them and leave them but once you were beyond the barriers and back into the mix, poo poo didn't matter. The only real unspoken rule that people got hammered for was walking in front of the female showers, cause if you timed it just right by the grace of god, some powdered up princess off to score her next rocker walked out, giving you pretty much an unobstructed view down the entirety of the trailer. I think the night that 4 of us were standing outside not even paying attention when the door got caught in the wind and slammed open was the night they put that rule in place. It was pretty packed that night and we all looked up at the metal on metal bang of the door. The lighting was perfect. Just dark enough outside that the lights inside of the trailer made everything visible, including the 12 or so women in various states of undress (mostly naked). We all turned around pretty quickly and didn't linger at all as far as I remember but it was pretty soon after that that some Major came in and taped up signs saying that males couldn't walk between the female trailers anymore. A quick, funny story though that's not related to naked chicks and stupid rules (Well, only slightly): Mandatory 4 day safety stand down. Tracks has taken over our patrols for these 4 days while we clean out the trucks, get maintenance done and give the crew served guns a good thorough cleaning. Not to mention it's pretty much just a time to reset and get everyone back on the same sleeping schedule before completely loving the guys who end up working the midnight and 6am patrols. So I'm sitting in my buddy's room, playing som Dawn of War 2 on his laptop when the screen starts to intermittently flicker between bright backlight and soft backlight. It only takes me about 3 seconds to realize that one of the generators or capacitors or whatever they are up near the shower/shitter trailers is about to die, so I light up a smoke and walk outside. I was getting cold as it was anyway since he kept his AC cranked. Not even a minute passes, I'm standing on top of a mortar shelter next to the room and looking up at the trailers when whatever it was (The generator or capacitor) belches out a puff of smoke in it's dying breath and then erupts into a glorious fireball with a bang and a flash of fire that ends up being probably around 20 feet tall. People are coming out of their rooms, my guys poke their heads out and I tell em a gennie exploded, etc. We decide to check it out anyway and start walking up to the trailers (Our hooches were probably a good 100-120 yards away from the central area where poo poo got hot) with rifles slung. As we get up to the end of the barrier walkway, where the last barriers border the large open courtyard of sorts where the shower trailers are, we realize that the POGs have lost their loving minds. Everywhere we look there are half dressed people running around with crooked helmets and half secured flaks, rifles raised, magazines in, shouting orders at everyone and no one. The generator going knocked out power to every trailer in Grizzly so everyone is coming out to investigate and the poo poo show is growing progressively shittier the longer we watch. There are dudes and chicks in towels running from the various shower trailers in different directions and the whole scene just looked eerie as gently caress since the only light was coming from red headlamps and the burning generator. Eventually, this Recon bubba (Designated as Recon Bubba due to his black shorts and ridiculously impressive physique) walks out from the barriers in flip flops and black silkies with a fire extinguisher in hand. One of the POGs on the far side of the shower trailers, who's taken a knee and is defensively scanning the west side of the lot (The side that points to Fallujah) screams at him, "HEY MAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!! WHERE'S YOUR FLAK AND KEVLAR!??! WHERE'S YOUR RIFLE?!?" This gets a chuckle out of my guys and I, as well as the rest of the 03XX types that haven't left the barrier for what I'm sure is a fear of being shot by someone who's only weapon work since arriving in Iraq has been to cycle the bolt and show clear at the chow hall. So dudebro just walks up to the burning bit of equipment and starts hitting it with the fire extinguisher until it goes out. After that, he tosses it down on the ground, turns around and proceeds to walk back to our side of the barriers, lighting a cigarette along the way. All in all, I may not paint the picture perfectly but it was a pretty funny night for people watching.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:30
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Stateside: We had a dark-green Marine SNCO who, while he had OOD duty, would let the Marines on restriction make their booty calls... but only if they hosed their girls in front of him, up in his office. Surprisingly enough, a lot of guys (and their girls) agreed to this.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:32
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lol loving marines.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:37
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LCL-Dead posted:That makes me kind of happy that we were on a Marine Corps base with Marine Corps rules and a general 'don't give a gently caress' attitude if you were in your own areas. 
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Jan 5, 2015 21:46
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Things getting worse after the 101st leaves. That belongs in the urban legends thread. Sorry, I witnessed 4th BCT 25th ID (Hawaii) take over for 2nd BCT 101st and, yeah, things can get way worse.
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Jan 5, 2015 21:56
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My only page 11 was because of cluttered "own areas". An engineer attached to my squad had empty care package boxes under his cot. Not food or food wrappers. Just unused boxes. This was brought to our plt sgt's attention and was first noticed by some oval office NCO from another squad who, while regaling the young warriors with armory war stories, spotted an American flag in this engineer's collection of crap..  AND IT WAS TOUCHING THE GROUND.Nevermind that your average sailor has more personal space than these boots did in their room, but they loved it and none of them wanted to move in with their lovable team leaders anyways. So they lived in (perfectly hygienic) filth. So myself and another team leader got called down to stand at attention outside the COC while our dumb poo poo immigrant drill-field-human being of a platoon sergeant slowly pounded out two single-sentence counseling statements. At this same COP I saw a guy get yelled at by our 1st Sgt for not having a shirt on in direct view of the sun. We didn't have a shower on our COP but we had standards, by god. The shirtless guy was killed by an IED a few weeks later, but I mean if you're going to gently caress around all undisciplined and not wear a shirt then you're basically inviting that kind of trouble.
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Jan 5, 2015 22:05
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Its actually true. The story I told about the rear end in a top hat Major was when the Marines left and the Army dogs came in. The Marines didn't give a poo poo about a lot that, but as soon as the V Corps came in suddenly tons of regs came in. Marines were pretty bad rear end about it.
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Jan 5, 2015 23:15
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Yeah no poo poo, all the Marine bases I went to had the worst rules. Marine bases were gayer than the gay pilgrims landing on Plymouth Cock in the Gayflower. Filling sandbags for chow lmao. Shir Gazhay was cool till it got blown the gently caress up.
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Jan 5, 2015 23:45
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Wasabi the J posted:Filling sandbags for chow lmao. Yeah, thats gay at first glance. But if everyone, from the CO to boot retard navy pogfags(you), are doing it then it saves a misreable working party for the duty platoon(or for some outlying PB full of misreable fucks who aren't eating hot chow or taking hot showers or using the internet).
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Jan 6, 2015 04:20
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You're assuming that the sandbags were going to something useful (I don't know I'm just assuming it's not, not being useful being the most likely)
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Jan 6, 2015 04:24
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not caring here posted:You're assuming that the sandbags were going to something useful (I don't know I'm just assuming it's not, not being useful being the most likely) Doesn't matter. The sandbags would be filled either way. Whether they are filled by 1000 people or 40 people.
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Jan 6, 2015 04:37
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Oh, I'm not arguing that. I'm arguing that it's not just gay at first glance, but gay from every angle, every glance, even gay from satellite imagery.
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Jan 6, 2015 04:42
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:Yeah, thats gay at first glance. But if everyone, from the CO to boot retard navy pogfags(you), are doing it then it saves a misreable working party for the duty platoon(or for some outlying PB full of misreable fucks who aren't eating hot chow or taking hot showers or using the internet). CIVDIV was the best way to deploy. "You gotta full a sandbag." "Nah." It was Leatherneck. It didn't go to anything useful. They shut down that DFAC with a mountain of bags in front of it.
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Jan 6, 2015 05:42
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:Doesn't matter. The sandbags would be filled either way. Whether they are filled by 1000 people or 40 people. semper loving fi brother
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Jan 6, 2015 05:45
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"Let's talk about idiots" hey gently caress dumb stick, i'm sure you have a reason for being a buddy fucker and wearing your flip flops to the nearest piss tube, but we have some loving standards here. now follow me to the briefing tent while i give you the latest from higher on safety in theater, and afterwards you can fill sandbags for the chow hall until *my* arms get tired.
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Jan 6, 2015 08:10
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Fucitol posted:"Let's talk about idiots" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnM1F6-XxeQ I really wish I'd captured something more ridiculous than "don't wear flip flops at night", but the reaction would be about the same for any announcements of new rules.
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Jan 6, 2015 08:22
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Being on a tiny PB may suck, but at least we had no females and could basically wear whatever when we were on base.
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Jan 6, 2015 12:36
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Sandbags are pretty good at stopping rounds. So of course we will use them as tent stakes.
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Jan 6, 2015 13:54
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Master Bateman posted:Being on a tiny PB may suck, but at least we had no females and could basically wear whatever when we were on base. Imagine the sexual harassment and rape charges filed against you when you fight on the front lines with women and your pants/underwear are blown off by an enemy grenade. This is the future of warfare tactics. Weapons that destroy clothing. Cole posted:Sandbags are pretty good at stopping rounds. The same could be said about women soldiers.
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Jan 6, 2015 17:14
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not caring here posted:You're assuming that the sandbags were going to something useful (I don't know I'm just assuming it's not, not being useful being the most likely) The sandbags were pushed out to various FOBs in the surrounding area if you're talking about filling the bags on Fallujah. My platoon provided security for the group that had to drag them out on more than one occasion since they were all in our AO to begin with. We'd just drop em off, poor bastard manning the fob/pb still had to push em around until SNCO arms/backs got tired. Master Bateman posted:Being on a tiny PB may suck, but at least we had no females and could basically wear whatever when we were on base. Pretty much, though the fob we rotated out on would have female cav officers visit it once a week for a morale check or someshit. loving hooahs would literally try to lock us away in our hooches when their o's were around cause we didn't give a gently caress and were pretty much in silkies and boots only when not on patrol. No AC. How much fun have you guys had with SNCO's getting on the G-Boss to spy on their own posts? I got away with telling the Hooah SOG to gently caress off on my first night at the fob after he decided to spy on me. Was pretty funny for me and my associated leadership.
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Jan 6, 2015 17:18
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1st Sgt would use the 'BOSS to watch for smokers at night but i was just like SUCK MY DICK SIR and did a kickflip into the MWR
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Jan 6, 2015 18:16
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This poo poo makes me pretty glad I was Air Wing, the fakest kind of Marine
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Jan 6, 2015 18:42
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Victor Vermis posted:1st Sgt would use the 'BOSS to watch for smokers at night but i was just like SUCK MY DICK SIR and did a kickflip into the MWR The idiots who built the fob we were on decided to use two 7-ton windshields as the transparent armor for the sentry towers, with a hole barely large enough to stick the barrel of a rifle through at the very bottom/center of the "window". Naturally, the hole allowed air/dirt/dust in between the panes of glass which made looking through them at night with NVGs on pretty much impossible due to the ambient light of the fob reflecting off of the dust/etc. I had a set of thermals that looked something like the following image, though I can't remember their actual name to save my life, but in 07 they were pretty new to us and worked a hell of a lot better than the thermal optics on the TOW systems, which was all we'd really had before in terms of thermal imagery (The army had sole control of the BOSS) Now, I could have been in the wrong here but I'll let you bastards be the judge: My solution? Took my saw and stepped outside of the guard shack, which was built onto the corner of the roof of one of the buildings within the fob walls, from there, I just moved in front of the little hut and braced myself against it in such a way that I could easily get the SAW up while also giving myself an unobstructed view of the surrounding farmland and the ability to not only see well with my NVGs, but look in better detail with the thermals. No smoking, though I wanted to, no dicking around. Just me standing outside of the post looking out because I could actually see that way. It only took about 2 minutes for the SOG to call me up on the radio the first time and ask me why I had left my post, to which I promptly replied, "I haven't. Post 2 out." So, within about 10 more minutes my Gunny comes walking up to the roof to see what's going on and to ask me why I'm not inside of the hut. I explain my position, hand him my NVGs and then tell him to go look out from within the room and tell me how well he could actually see. He came out, handed me my nods and said, "I'll handle the SOG, you're good." And we left it at that. It was when the SOG showed up with his little non-rate buddy, doing their "rounds", and started barking at me like I was some lowly hooah that I told him to gently caress off and take it up with my leadership. Sour little gently caress couldn't handle being talked back to.
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Jan 6, 2015 19:29
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Booblord Zagats posted:This poo poo makes me pretty glad I was Air Wing, the fakest kind of Marine Y'all got more action than a lot of Marines I knew when Bastion got blown up and overrun slightly.
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Jan 6, 2015 19:44
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Wasabi the J posted:Y'all got more action than a lot of Marines I knew when Bastion got blown up and overrun slightly. Man, I remember hearing about that when it first happened and just feeling like my stomach was trying to fall out of my rear end in a top hat because I knew a few guys who were with VMA-211 as ordnance and they (211)caught the absolute worst of it. None of the guys I knew got hurt, but I sent a lot of emails to them that night to make sure they were alright.
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Jan 6, 2015 21:27
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Booblord Zagats posted:Man, I remember hearing about that when it first happened and just feeling like my stomach was trying to fall out of my rear end in a top hat because I knew a few guys who were with VMA-211 as ordnance and they (211)caught the absolute worst of it. None of the guys I knew got hurt, but I sent a lot of emails to them that night to make sure they were alright. I landed in Leatherneck about a month and some change after, and my buddy who was there early, said it was the most chaotic day ever. No one could go out to poo poo in his office for like, eight hours. It was a hosed up day for real.
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Jan 7, 2015 00:45
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The wife of one of my boots was in that attack. Office got blown up and everything. She's still pretty hosed up over it.
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Jan 7, 2015 01:33
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Started my shift looking at the after action ISR feeds and it was 
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Jan 7, 2015 03:04
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GQ did a pretty good piece on it.
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Jan 7, 2015 14:07
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psydude posted:GQ did a pretty good piece on it. That article sucked. GQ is just a gayer version of Esquire.
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Jan 7, 2015 19:48
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:That article sucked. GQ is just a gayer version of Esquire. 1. find a cool war thing to sensationalize 2. get male readers hard with a teaser on page 1 3. stop & ask "so what are you thinking about?" pages 2-4 4. underwhelming finish on page 5 / ask "are you close yet?" / don't even swallow 5. bro down
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Jan 7, 2015 21:01
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Zeris posted:1. find a cool war thing to sensationalize
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Jan 7, 2015 23:13
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GQ did a series of stories a few years ago about hard dick motherfuckers who got Silver Stars and poo poo like that, and interviewed a couple dudes I knew about my former Squad Leader's SS.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:15
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bulletsponge13 posted:GQ did a series of stories a few years ago about hard dick motherfuckers who got Silver Stars and poo poo like that, and interviewed a couple dudes I knew about my former Squad Leader's SS. The only SS winner I know, from my company, had it literally forced on him for an action that shifted behind closed-door discussions including piles of re-drafted DA 2823s from some usual BS for the time into an SS-earning act of heroism that I wonder if, perhaps, also ended up on a certain company commander's and battalion commander's OER.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:21
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Casimir Radon posted:GQ is mostly advertisements for poo poo you will never ever need. So is almost every other magazine in existence so that's not really a knock against GQ as much as it is every magazine.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:30
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I too saw fight club
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Jan 8, 2015 04:43
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Cole posted:So is almost every other magazine in existence so that's not really a knock against GQ as much as it is every magazine.
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Jan 8, 2015 05:02
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:Doesn't matter. The sandbags would be filled either way. Whether they are filled by 1000 people or 40 people. I had pretty much this exact honor. Wasabi might think it's dumb to have everyone fill a sandbag at Leatherneck to eat, but that would have been awesome when my platoon got tasked with filling an ungodly fuckton of sandbags over a period of several days at Leatherneck.
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Jan 8, 2015 09:04
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A toast to 50 Foot Ant and his late brother: (I found the mug in a thrift store, had to post it in some thread he posts in.)
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Jan 8, 2015 12:01
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Bad Angus! Bad!
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USMC503 posted:I had pretty much this exact honor. Wasabi might think it's dumb to have everyone fill a sandbag at Leatherneck to eat, but that would have been awesome when my platoon got tasked with filling an ungodly fuckton of sandbags over a period of several days at Leatherneck. Sorry, it doesn't take away from the gayness of the sandbag order in the first place. (I will fill a sandbag at home with dogshit just 4 u)
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Jan 8, 2015 16:34
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