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Reene posted:The staff would probably back me up if I complained but I'm afraid of becoming known as the girl that can't take a joke/compliment/whatever and it's just a lovely situation all around. No, see, that's the thing. You've got this feeling of "oh no, what if I hurt his feelings? And what if everyone else hates me for it." In this particular situation, everyone that isn't you can gently caress off. Is that guy you? No? Then he can eat poo poo. You don't get to care about his feelings or your reputation at this (lovely sounding) game store, because apparently that's going to keep you from actually doing what needs doing. So the next time he approaches you, texts you, etc., just be forthright about it. "I am not interested in you. There might be some underlying feeling that I'm 'friendzoning' you or playing hard to get or something, but I'm not. I am not interested, and I will not be interested at some point in the future. Stop (note, 'stop,' not 'please stop,') touching me, stop trying to invite me to slumber parties, and stop trying to date me. If you want to be friends and play games? Sure, that sounds fun. But you may not touch me and I'm tired of being asked out." And honestly, if it were me I wouldn't even leave in the line about 'if you want to be friends, etc.' in there, because that glimmer of hope might keep him being a creeper. Guys like you are describing are socially retarded and being subtle will not work here. If you go through one of the store clerks, if they even give a poo poo (because it kind of sounds like they don't), it's going to be blamed on you, and if you go through a friend/buddy it's going to end up as a big thing of "why not let her talk for herself?" Yeah, he's feelings are going to get hurt, but so the gently caress what? Is he you? No? Then gently caress him. Care about yourself and your own boundries in this really creepy instance because this guy definitely doesn't.
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Jan 21, 2015 00:31
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Swags posted:No, see, that's the thing. You've got this feeling of "oh no, what if I hurt his feelings? And what if everyone else hates me for it." In this particular situation, everyone that isn't you can gently caress off. Is that guy you? No? Then he can eat poo poo. You don't get to care about his feelings or your reputation at this (lovely sounding) game store, because apparently that's going to keep you from actually doing what needs doing. What Renee is talking about isn't "oh no what if I hurt his feelings," it's "what if I make a legitimate complaint and then get blackballed as The Girl Who's Always Trying to Make a Big Deal About Stuff, Why Can't She Just Take a Joke (That Bitch)." To you the situation might seem black and white, cut and dried, this guy's a jerk so complain about it or tell him to gently caress off, but in a fair number of cases like this the person being made to feel uncomfortable is stuck between a rock and a hard place because deserved or not, raising a complaint about this kind of lovely behavior can (and has) led to the exact opposite desired result. Or in other words: Zurui posted:Yeah, I don't play magic any more because I complained about a dude offering to grab my chest during a game and became an immediate social pariah. So maybe Renee feels more comfortable just going "gently caress it, rather than deal with any of this bullshit I'm just going to excise myself from the situation entirely." Which might mean not going back to that game store, which sucks, but that's why it's called a lovely situation. This doesn't just happen in casual social contexts either, it can (and does) happen in professional workplace environments where it sucks even more because someone raising a complaint about, say, sexual harassment can find themselves being frozen out of advancement opportunities, blackballed in their field, or even let go on spurious pretexts and while legal recourse is always possible it's A). costly, B). time consuming, and C). not guaranteed to work in your favor, so there's frequently tremendous pressure to just keep your head down and suck it up because unlike the LGS you can't just go "well fine, then I won't work here anymore."
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Jan 21, 2015 00:39
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Oh I get it, I was just saying if the FLGS staff was worth a drat they would step in and swat down his excuses. The minute this dipshit got called on it he would be like "Oh ha ha I'm sure it's no problem, right Renee?" at which point the staff should say "don't look to her, this is a problem to me and will stop" But again FLGS people are usually horrible so they will probably turn on you no matter. I was just trying to think of a way out of it.
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Jan 21, 2015 00:53
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Kai Tave posted:What Renee is talking about isn't "oh no what if I hurt his feelings," it's "what if I make a legitimate complaint and then get blackballed as The Girl Who's Always Trying to Make a Big Deal About Stuff, Why Can't She Just Take a Joke (That Bitch)." To you the situation might seem black and white, cut and dried, this guy's a jerk so complain about it or tell him to gently caress off, but in a fair number of cases like this the person being made to feel uncomfortable is stuck between a rock and a hard place because deserved or not, raising a complaint about this kind of lovely behavior can (and has) led to the exact opposite desired result. I got what she was saying, but I guess Zurui's anecdote drove home the truth of it. Honestly, I've been pretty blessed to have only encountered really awesome game stores before, and that's the kind of poo poo that wouldn't fly at any of them. Most good owners will want to make sure the environment is as friendly as possible, and most good players will want the woman who just want to play around (and, bar logic here, maybe invite a few other girls) than the fat poo poo in the sweat pants. Thankfully, any time I've seen situations similar to Reene's, it's always gone badly for the creep, not the victim.
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Jan 21, 2015 03:36
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Reene posted:For the past month or so I've been fending off a dude that has no sense of when it is and isn't okay to touch somebody. Like he'll walk up behind me and hug me or pat my head and poo poo. He also doesn't appear to bathe/groom much, wears sweatpants, and is a brony. 
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Jan 21, 2015 04:25
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It is, yeah.
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Jan 21, 2015 05:07
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DigitalRaven posted:Well, yes. You have to make it up. It's a roleplaying game. Making poo poo up is how it works... Are you a fan of the system? Have you played it? I'm curious. The game had potential, but nothing much came of it.
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Jan 21, 2015 08:14
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Megaman's Jockstrap posted:But again FLGS people are usually horrible so they will probably turn on you no matter. I was just trying to think of a way out of it. The employee at my FLGS was very supportive and asked if I wanted him removed from the tournament. At that point I'm stuck between "let's make a scene and have a dude ejected" and "no no, it isn't that big of an issue, I just wanted you to know." With the first I am a tattler and immediate social pariah, with the second I am downplaying my distress at being verbally abused. I chose the second, because social programming isn't something you get past easily. The other players saw me talking to the employee, though (I was clearly upset). It all turned in to "well, if you can't take a compliment" and "you shouldn't wear shirts like that" (by which they mean regular women's tees). The other girl who plays there regularly was the worst, actually. The guys were nice enough not to use words like "tramp." I guess what I'm saying is that "trying to think of a way out of it" is failing to recognize that gaming stores are basically elementary school playgrounds. There is no way out except to leave the store. Whatever. I spend a lot less money on stupid cardboard now. Night Witches just came out and so I can't be sad about gaming at the moment.
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Jan 21, 2015 08:38
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Error 404 posted:Please tell me this isn't guardian games. Reene posted:It is, yeah. Having been to Guardian Games a few times I have to admit this doesn't surprise me tremendously.
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Jan 21, 2015 08:41
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Now I'm curious what you guys have seen at Guardian Games to make you say that.
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Jan 21, 2015 11:35
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Reene posted:Now I'm curious what you guys have seen at Guardian Games to make you say that. Well I never experienced any harassment myself certainly. Really it was just kind of an overall feeling I got from the store itself and the people who had congregated there...the store always felt kind of vaguely "grungy" to me in that "converted Portland warehouse" sense and the few times I was there it was overwhelmingly stereotypical_mtg_player.txt going on in the playspace area. I never saw or experienced anything worthy of the catpiss thread, but neither did I feel like I really wanted to make the effort to go back there either (the last time I went was because my at the time tabletop gaming group wanted to go check out the Free RPG Day selection, otherwise I probably wouldn't have gone). I guess what I'm saying is it felt very much like the sort of hangout where Bob the guy with a bad grasp of social boundaries and when not to touch people would definitely not be out of place. Maybe that's just me being too stereotypical and judgmental but, well.
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Jan 21, 2015 11:59
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Project Blue Book on the internet with search for the 129,491 pages. http://projectbluebook.theblackvault.com/ Have fun occult and conspiracy gamers!
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Jan 21, 2015 12:32
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The old GG location was worse about the grungy thing what with being in an actual alley next to a really gross nightclub and all. My ex gf's car got broken into while we were running inside for ~10 minutes to buy miniatures once. That whole area was sketchy as hell. The new store is way nicer. As far as people go most aren't that bad compared to venues I've frequented in the past. The most common thing I notice is that almost no one seems interested in actually having a conversation with me or being friendly despite my being there almost every week for the past ~6 months, which you would think would be enough to invite more than one-word answers to conversational questions and not darting off the second the match is over. It's probably telling that my social experience of nearly every FNM there and the PTQ I went to are nearly identical. I honestly don't know what the problem is but at least I get to play Magic, which is still a hobby I enjoy for the sake of it. I'll take that over dudes flicking pennies down my shirt during rounds though, which happened at my LGS in Minnesota, or dudes launching into random homophobic/transphobic rants out of literally nowhere, which is what happened at Knightfall Games in Beaverton OR the one time I went there before it went out of business. ...maybe I do need a new game store.
Reene fucked around with this message at 12:48 on Jan 21, 2015 |
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Jan 21, 2015 12:45
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Reene posted:For the past month or so I've been fending off a dude that has no sense of when it is and isn't okay to touch somebody. Like he'll walk up behind me and hug me or pat my head and poo poo. He also doesn't appear to bathe/groom much, wears sweatpants, and is a brony. Reene posted:I'll take that over dudes flicking pennies down my shirt during rounds though, which happened at my LGS in Minnesota
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Jan 21, 2015 15:01
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Reene posted:I'll take that over dudes flicking pennies down my shirt during rounds though, which happened at my LGS in Minnesota The Source?
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Jan 21, 2015 15:05
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Reene posted:The old GG location was worse about the grungy thing what with being in an actual alley next to a really gross nightclub and all. My ex gf's car got broken into while we were running inside for ~10 minutes to buy miniatures once. That whole area was sketchy as hell. The new store is way nicer. Oh, I didn't know they'd moved (I've been out of Portland for a few years). I am in fact talking about their old location, which was as you note sketchy as hell. Reene posted:As far as people go most aren't that bad compared to venues I've frequented in the past. The most common thing I notice is that almost no one seems interested in actually having a conversation with me or being friendly despite my being there almost every week for the past ~6 months, which you would think would be enough to invite more than one-word answers to conversational questions and not darting off the second the match is over. It's probably telling that my social experience of nearly every FNM there and the PTQ I went to are nearly identical. I honestly don't know what the problem is but at least I get to play Magic, which is still a hobby I enjoy for the sake of it. And this is what I meant earlier about the crowds there. Every single time I went there and ventured into the playspace to see what was up it was just a bunch of dudes sullenly hunched over Magic decks muttering and/or arguing with each other. There wasn't any sense of enthusiasm or enjoyment going on, nobody (including the staff) seemed interested in striking up a conversation, it wasn't the sort of thing that made me go "oh man, I've totally got to come game here." Also at no point that I ever went into Guardian did I ever see a women there, like, at all. Contrast this to the game store I stumbled upon in Longview Washington, which while mostly populated by regulars who also fall into many of the typical nerd molds, they've all at least been friendly and outgoing and willing to strike up conversations, suggest games, and on the whole are a lot more personable. That and last night's board game night had a half dozen women in attendance and there was no creeping or inappropriate groping going on so there's that too. But yeah, sorry that happened but to be honest your description of FNM there sounds like a drag even without the inappropriate touching and creeping business (which is far worse to be sure). I wish I could suggest an alternative but I don't actually know of any...I got out of Magic before I moved to Portland and only occasionally played with friends and if I wanted to browse elfgames I usually just went to Powell's.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:04
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Echophonic posted:I've seen a few AW hacks for Mass Effect, but this is by far the best and most complete. Actually got some people down to play this this week when my DM bailed. I enjoyed it, but I feel I was the only one because the other two players never did Mass Effect: it was only me and our GM who knew the universe. I was the first Vorcha spectre who had a Turian handler and a Volus for talky things. We had a Quarian, but she bailed on us due to real life. It almost became Monster Hearts b/c I initially joked about setting one of my Hx as a love one and that set off a chain reaction where everyone loved each other: never came up in play though. Ended up getting infected by the reapers because the Turian didn't think opening a box we were told to handle by the citadel was a bad idea. Then the Volus tried to sell us to the Geth, but, instead, got C-Sec trying to kill us all. Too bad, the game died there b/c it was just getting good especially because I was willingly letting the Reapers guide me to give me an edge (like security codes). Edit: By the way, Vorchas, in-fiction, are actually really cool. Like, if they lived longer than 20 years, they would probably be a serious threat at the same level of Krogans.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:13
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Vorchas own.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:28
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...I think I may have just accidentally caused a bunch of people to go buy Blue Rose, oops.
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Jan 24, 2015 16:06
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That sounds like a good accomplishment. Why "oops"?
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Jan 24, 2015 16:57
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Was it by showing them BlueRose.flv? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTWpzq5Pr7I
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Jan 24, 2015 18:28
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Lynx Winters posted:Was it by showing them BlueRose.flv? This is now my favorite thing ever.
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Jan 24, 2015 18:49
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Lynx Winters posted:Was it by showing them BlueRose.flv? This got even funnier when I realized that those aren't clips from a TV show/movie (and that the singer is also the male lead).
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Jan 24, 2015 19:03
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I mostly watch that in stunned silence until "Love has enemies" pop up at the end and now I can't stop laughing.
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Jan 24, 2015 19:18
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Well poo poo now that I know I can finally be Chris Dane Owens I am pretty interested in Blue Rose.
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Jan 24, 2015 19:18
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I'm not entirely sure which thread I should ask this is okay. My friend is very interested in playing a Mass Effect pen and paper game. I haven't been able to find an official game for it, but what homebrew games/add-ons have been made for it? Are they any good? Even just a few links would do.
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Jan 24, 2015 19:35
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Suleman posted:I'm not entirely sure which thread I should ask this is okay. Friend and fellow goon madadric has a space hack ( heavily mass effect inspired) of the apocalypse world game. madadric posted:
Follow the quote, and a few pages before this, someone posted mass effect apocalypse, a different apocalypse world hack that specifically uses mass effect names, races, and powers
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Jan 24, 2015 19:47
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Basically it's Oops because it was not an intended consequence of my action! That "They should make a D&D for girls" "D&D is D&D for girls" thing crossed my eyeline one too many times and I posted a small rant about Blue Rose and how people were super-pissy about it not being explicitly marketed to dudes. And then the rant got reposted by a mid-list urban fantasy writer. And then I kept getting notifications of other people responding to it, often some variation of, "Oh wow I'd never heard of this, oh, they still sell it on their site. I'll have to check it out!" And I had not had coffee yet when I posted that.
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Jan 24, 2015 19:52
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Speaking of which, are there any other rpgs like Blue Rose? Aldea is nice and all, and I've seen some homebrew hacks on adapting it to Fate, but I'd like to check out if there are other official materials I could use. It's a sadly neglected genre in elfgames.
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Jan 24, 2015 20:07
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Error 404 posted:Friend and fellow goon madadric has a space hack ( heavily mass effect inspired) of the apocalypse world game. Thank you very much! I'll pass these on to her.
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Jan 24, 2015 20:10
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Suleman posted:Thank you very much! I'll pass these on to her. Groovy. I think madadric's game is mostly standalone, but the other is just a reskin abd your friend would need the apocalypse world rules to understand it.
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Jan 24, 2015 20:17
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unseenlibrarian posted:Basically it's Oops because it was not an intended consequence of my action! That "They should make a D&D for girls" "D&D is D&D for girls" thing crossed my eyeline one too many times and I posted a small rant about Blue Rose and how people were super-pissy about it not being explicitly marketed to dudes. And as I commented when I saw it on my feed, one of the people who screamed bloody murder about Blue Rose being for girls went on to help make 5e. So no, DnD is not for girls. It is by and for people who don't want them in the hobby.
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Jan 24, 2015 21:18
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Suleman posted:I'm not entirely sure which thread I should ask this is okay. There's an adaptation of Space Master for Mass Effect. I play that on Sunday's and it work's pretty well.
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Jan 24, 2015 21:42
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What is Blue Rose, exactly?
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Jan 24, 2015 21:50
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Littlefinger posted:Speaking of which, are there any other rpgs like Blue Rose? Aldea is nice and all, and I've seen some homebrew hacks on adapting it to Fate, but I'd like to check out if there are other official materials I could use. I used Blue Rose to run a Wonderful Land of Oz game once. The system is really flexible.
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Jan 24, 2015 21:53
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ProfessorCirno posted:And as I commented when I saw it on my feed, one of the people who screamed bloody murder about Blue Rose being for girls went on to help make 5e. So no, DnD is not for girls. It is by and for people who don't want them in the hobby. Can you link? I wanna see that.
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Jan 24, 2015 21:53
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Night10194 posted:What is Blue Rose, exactly? A character from Tiger & Bunny. 
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Jan 24, 2015 22:04
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The worst I got from Magic players was the fact that they're all worthless thieving fucks who steal from real nerds. 
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Jan 24, 2015 22:08
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Evil Mastermind posted:Can you link? I wanna see that. Not much to link to. Pretty much the biggest poo poo talker both before and after Blue Rose changed to d20 was Tarnowski, who continues to rant to this day about the evil Marxist SJWs trying to corrupt tabletop gaming by caring about minorities. You know, the same guy proudly presented in the 5e credits.
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Jan 25, 2015 00:49
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ProfessorCirno posted:Not much to link to. Pretty much the biggest poo poo talker both before and after Blue Rose changed to d20 was Tarnowski, who continues to rant to this day about the evil Marxist SJWs trying to corrupt tabletop gaming by caring about minorities. You know, the same guy proudly presented in the 5e credits. Oh, I know; he was doing much the same thing in a thread by Ron Edwards a couple of days ago. I just wanted to see how his rants go over in non-gaming circles. Evil Mastermind fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Jan 25, 2015 |
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Jan 25, 2015 02:08
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