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Back in the good old days stakes were typically used with hammers But once scientists found out that vampires were actually made of marmalade, they were able to develop more efficient methods 
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Jan 27, 2015 17:00
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DrBouvenstein posted:All of this, but with vampires and wooden stakes. In True Blood one vampire is staked with chop sticks.
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Jan 27, 2015 18:07
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Alhazred posted:In True Blood one vampire is staked with chop sticks. True Blood also had a vampire commit suicide via tanning booth. I feel I can safely say having never watched an episode of True Blood that it's the stupidest show ever.
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Jan 27, 2015 18:31
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Henchman of Santa posted:True Blood also had a vampire commit suicide via tanning booth. I feel I can safely say having never watched an episode of True Blood that it's the stupidest show ever. A shapeshifter also killed a woman by turning into a fly, flying into her mouth, then popping out as a naked man.
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Jan 27, 2015 18:39
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bamhand posted:A shapeshifter also killed a woman by turning into a fly, flying into her mouth, then popping out as a naked man. Oh my loving god
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Jan 27, 2015 18:48
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Novum posted:Its not easy for just anyone to knock someone out in one shot every time and even when you do, it doesn't take more than a minute or two for them to wake back up. In every movie one karate chop will put someone down for the full duration of an hour long heist job or whatever. Yeah this one drives me crazy. Similar is gunshot wounds in general. In Bond movies, he either knocks people out with one blow (and they're unconscious for hours so he can sneak around, which would require permanent brain damage) or he just shoots them once or twice, and they slump to the ground quietly. In real life, less than 5% of gunshot wounds are even fatal. But lets assume Bond is a pro and he's shooting to kill. Even then, lots of the fatal wounds are going to take a long rear end time to kill you. People should be lying on the ground, bleeding out, holding their gunshot wounds and screaming bloody murder. Instead they just collapse instantly. For that to work, he'd have to be getting headshots every time, which would require him leaving a trail of exploded heads and gore. In comparison it really makes me appreciate something like Tarantino's Kill Bill scene at the restaurant, where people are getting limbs hacked off and they still stay alive, squirming on the ground in pain. In the end she tells them to leave their severed limbs but to crawl out, and you can see several people do just that. Way more realistic. Gunfights are also pretty poorly represented in movies, in real life you hide behind cover since bullets are loving dangerous, and you just fire off all kinds of shots to suppress your enemy, not even necessarily to hit them. The final scene in Django Unchained has a lot of people firing guns wildly across the house from behind furniture, as well as people getting shot up but still managing to crawl around in blood for awhile. The reality is more gruesome. On the one hand the simple action movie version where people get shot and die instantly may be easier to swallow and less offensive, but people dying shouldn't be something that's easy to accept. There's an argument to be made that James Bond style violence is more desensitizing than Quentin Tarantino style gore-y ultraviolence is. Ugly In The Morning posted:John Wick did a good job of avoiding that, too. I think there's maybe three people in the movie he doesn't shoot in the head to be sure they're dead. Yeah I need to see this one already. Your Gay Uncle posted:I thought they were based of Fijian Mimic Octopi? They certainly wiggle around like they are. Okay that kinda makes sense, I was saying they looked like Squids, Octopi are the same difference. I just didn't really know (or remember?) that 'mimic octopus' was a thing, which is kinda necessary for the 'mimic' name to make sense. Even then though it kinda requires understanding more about the aliens than just their appearance, which is more knowledge than they would have. Henchman of Santa posted:True Blood also had a vampire commit suicide via tanning booth. I feel I can safely say having never watched an episode of True Blood that it's the stupidest show ever. I really wanted to like it, and I watched it as a guilty pleasure with my ex, but even then it got so loving cheesy it was unwatchable. Zaphod42 has a new favorite as of 19:04 on Jan 27, 2015 |
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Jan 27, 2015 19:00
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DrBouvenstein posted:All of this, but with vampires and wooden stakes. Not a movie but in the White Wolf tabletop system vampires are basically described as "lovely rice paper covering a skeleton made of adamantium. Also, their hearts are covered in bone and that poo poo is no joke". So you can gently caress them up really bad but outright killing them is a pain in the rear end.
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Jan 27, 2015 20:31
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bamhand posted:A shapeshifter also killed a woman by turning into a fly, flying into her mouth, then popping out as a naked man. I'm sorry, but this is not a mark against True Blood
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Jan 27, 2015 20:47
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Inzombiac posted:Not a movie but in the White Wolf tabletop system vampires are basically described as "lovely rice paper covering a skeleton made of adamantium. Also, their hearts are covered in bone and that poo poo is no joke". You can't even kill them with a stake through the heart, you phoney. It just sends them into torpor.
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Jan 27, 2015 20:48
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mng posted:I'm sorry, but this is not a mark against True Blood I never said it was! It was one of those stupidly awesome/awesomely stupid moments.
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Jan 27, 2015 21:06
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DrBouvenstein posted:All of this, but with vampires and wooden stakes. In Buffy, at least, it's mentioned that wood is supernaturally effective against vampires.
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Jan 27, 2015 21:24
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Zaphod42 posted:Gunfights are also pretty poorly represented in movies, in real life you hide behind cover since bullets are loving dangerous, and you just fire off all kinds of shots to suppress your enemy, not even necessarily to hit them. The final scene in Django Unchained has a lot of people firing guns wildly across the house from behind furniture, as well as people getting shot up but still managing to crawl around in blood for awhile. I thought Children of Men did gunfights particularly well. Clive Owen runs like hell when he hears gunfire, takes cover, and surrenders when he's surrounded. The gunfights are so brutal and the camerawork is so unflinching. The scene where Julianne Moore gets suddenly shot in the throat and blood hits the camera, and her friends are flailing in utter futility trying desperately to help her to no avail. It's one of the few action or thriller movies I've ever seen that had absolutely zero romance or glory for violence. Someone could even walk away from 'Saving Private Ryan' thinking soldiers were cool. Not 'Children of Men'. Imagined has a new favorite as of 21:42 on Jan 27, 2015 |
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Jan 27, 2015 21:39
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Imagined posted:I thought Children of Men did gunfights particularly well. Clive Owen runs like hell when he hears gunfire, takes cover, and surrenders when he's surrounded. The gunfights are so brutal and the camerawork is so unflinching. The scene where Julianne Moore gets suddenly shot in the throat and blood hits the camera, and her friends are flailing in utter futility trying desperately to help her to no avail. It's one of the few action or thriller movies I've ever seen that had absolutely zero romance or glory for violence. Someone could even walk away from 'Saving Private Ryan' thinking soldiers were cool. Not 'Children of Men'. Children of Men is one of my favorite movies of all time for this and so many more reasons. Mostly the cinematography though. I really wish more movies gave a gently caress about the camera work. With Children of Men, you're IN the movie, following Clive Owen's character from moment to moment, stuck in the action with him. So much Hollywood movies these days is rapid editing of close-up shots which give you no idea of the environment or even the position of the characters. Its like they just decided that choreography is too expensive or something. The Bourne series are pretty much my top example of how bad this can get and I couldn't stand them as a result. Fairly decent movies otherwise, but every time they get into a fight, the camera just gets drop-kicked around the set. Massive amounts of shakey-cam that make even me nauseous. (I love rollercoasters and I have an Oculus Rift and neither makes me uncomfortable) And you have simply no clue what is going on with the action, who is winning. Whatever, punches are being thrown, and in the end Jason comes out on top, so who cares right? Ugh. Compare that to some John Woo films and its night and loving day. Woo actually takes time and lets a single shot run long enough you can get a feel for what the hell is going on. Hard Boiled has some amazingly long shots with really well choreographed action.
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Jan 27, 2015 21:46
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Zaphod42 posted:
Reminds me of this really great video where Jackie Chan explains how to shoot action. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PCtIaM_GQ]
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Jan 27, 2015 21:51
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Imagined posted:Reminds me of this really great video where Jackie Chan explains how to shoot action. I was actually thinking about mentioning Jackie Chan because his choreography is always top-notch and it shows.
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Jan 27, 2015 22:41
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Imagined posted:I thought Children of Men did gunfights particularly well. Clive Owen runs like hell when he hears gunfire, takes cover, and surrenders when he's surrounded. The gunfights are so brutal and the camerawork is so unflinching. The scene where Julianne Moore gets suddenly shot in the throat and blood hits the camera, and her friends are flailing in utter futility trying desperately to help her to no avail. It's one of the few action or thriller movies I've ever seen that had absolutely zero romance or glory for violence. Someone could even walk away from 'Saving Private Ryan' thinking soldiers were cool. Not 'Children of Men'. Yeah every moment of violence in that movie is shown as dirty and shameful from the point of view of everyone. The scene where the scraggly dreadlock dude executes someone in the refugee camp is utterly jarring.
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Jan 28, 2015 01:18
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Zaphod42 posted:The reality is more gruesome. On the one hand the simple action movie version where people get shot and die instantly may be easier to swallow and less offensive, but people dying shouldn't be something that's easy to accept. There's an argument to be made that James Bond style violence is more desensitizing than Quentin Tarantino style gore-y ultraviolence is. I just watched Serenity and I really appreciated that the hero guy wasn't some super-human ultra-soldier. He repeatedly gets his rear end kicked and only wins through luck/cunning and everybody is pissing-their-pants terrified of the reavers. The action matters, it's much more effective and engaging.
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Jan 28, 2015 01:21
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Memento posted:Yeah every moment of violence in that movie is shown as dirty and shameful from the point of view of everyone. The scene where the scraggly dreadlock dude executes someone in the refugee camp is utterly jarring.
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Jan 28, 2015 01:58
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Pilchenstein posted:The bit where Charlie Hunnam shoots the guy while singing "Blaydon races"? Yeah, that's pretty loving grim. The scene where Owen smashes that guy's head in with a car battery is still with me to this day.
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Jan 28, 2015 03:50
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Calaveron posted:The scene where Owen smashes that guy's head in with a car battery is still with me to this day.
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Jan 28, 2015 04:40
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Captain Monkey posted:You can't even kill them with a stake through the heart, you phoney. It just sends them into torpor. gently caress, you're so right. You can shine a flashlight on them and practically set them on fire. Watching Fringe and the two universes have merged... in a way. Olivia is upset that Peter had sex with Fauxlivia (her not - really evil double) but not a single person brings up that he was raped via deceit and he's practically the bad guy for loving his girlfriend's identical double; thinking it was her.
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Jan 28, 2015 04:50
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Inzombiac posted:gently caress, you're so right. You can shine a flashlight on them and practically set them on fire. This is actually really common in TV and film, and it's just one more thing that says a lot about the media's attitude toward women. Any time another woman displays sexual advances or something similar on a taken man, that man's significant other will blame him for it regardless of circumstances. Perpetuating the attitude that all women are spiteful bitches. This just happened on an episode of Roseanne I was watching where another girl kisses Leonard without him expecting it and he immediately tells the girl to gently caress off, and Darlene still yells at him and breaks up with him over it. The only women I've ever met who would actually act that way live alone with a lot of cats.
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Jan 28, 2015 14:51
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I've been watching The King of Queens because I think it's kinda funny and it's funny you bring that up because they actually juked that cliche on the episode I just finished watching. Main character Doug is hit on by a hotter, younger woman than his wife (who is herself not hard on the eyes by any means) and I rolled my eyes because immediately I knew Doug was going to fall into her hands because that's the kind of character he is. But actually, they set the episode up so that Doug feels guilty about accidentally flirting with her in his attempt to tell her that he's married, and he spends the whole thing fretting about what will happen when his wife inevitably finds out... and then when she does, she's actually not mad at him and is instead mad at the hotter, younger lady for a) being hotter and younger and b) trying to steal her husband. So then they fight and it's like yeah okay sure. But most of the time it does play out the opposite way, yes.
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Jan 28, 2015 14:59
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DrBouvenstein posted:Like...wouldn't it make a lot more sense to have stakes that looked more like a dagger? With a cross-guard that can be pushed against? You would still need to push really loving hard, and I'm guessing the success rate would be pretty low before the vampire killed you, but you'd at least have a shot compared to a traditional stake with no cross-guard. The 1998 BBC show Ultraviolet (with Idris Elba!) had a brilliant way around this with their church-sanctioned vampire killing squad. Their pistols fired bullets with hardened charcoal inside them. They also had small cameras and monitors mounted on all their weapons. If you could see someone with your eyes but not in the screen of your gun - you shot them. Sadly I could only find this tiny image of it:  Gritty British drama, but with vampires 
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Jan 28, 2015 15:22
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Gorilla Salad posted:The 1998 BBC show Ultraviolet (with Idris Elba!) had a brilliant way around this with their church-sanctioned vampire killing squad. Their pistols fired bullets with hardened charcoal inside them.
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Jan 28, 2015 15:58
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Esroc posted:This is actually really common in TV and film, and it's just one more thing that says a lot about the media's attitude toward women. Any time another woman displays sexual advances or something similar on a taken man, that man's significant other will blame him for it regardless of circumstances. One of the reasons I like White Collar is that one of the leads (an FBI agent, no less) is in a marriage that's bizarrely happy and stable and healthy for TV. In an early episode he has to flirt with a woman for an undercover thing and she gives him her phone number, which he puts in his pocket. His wife discovers the phone number, so he explains to her what happened and she thinks it's hilarious that he has to flirt with someone because they've been married so long he doesn't have a clue what to do.
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Jan 28, 2015 16:00
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Pilchenstein posted:loving hell, Idris Elba and Jack Davenport: Vampire Hunters? Why has nobody told me about this? I am so jealous that you haven't seen this before and now you get to see it. It's great.
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Jan 28, 2015 16:10
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Pilchenstein posted:loving hell, Idris Elba and Jack Davenport: Vampire Hunters? Why has nobody told me about this? Yeah, I'm stoked as hell. No idea how I'd never heard of this until today.
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Jan 28, 2015 16:20
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Pilchenstein posted:loving hell, Idris Elba and Jack Davenport: Vampire Hunters? Why has nobody told me about this? A British version of Night Watch? I'm down.
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Jan 28, 2015 16:45
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I am so jealous of all of you, getting to see this for the first time. Gonna go find it and rewatch it again myself, now. The 90s were a such great time for British shows. They were so goddamn dark and gritty it was like watching TV while rubbing sandpaper over your eyes. It's a cop drama. A politics drama. A love story. A betrayal story. All done in a way no one except the Brits could do.
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Jan 28, 2015 17:07
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Anosmoman posted:Having baddies drop like cardboard cutouts also takes tension away from the action. The protagonist is basically just target shooting until we get to the boss fight and the viewers know it. Wick would have been better if there had been less of this. Also, every time he got referred to as Baba Yaga irritated me. He doesn't have a hut with giant chicken legs.
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Jan 28, 2015 17:08
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Tunicate posted:Also, every time he got referred to as Baba Yaga irritated me. He doesn't have a hut with giant chicken legs. Agreed. Its a specific character/being, not a generalized term like "goblin" in english. Having played the poo poo out of Quest for Glory this was irritating.
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Jan 28, 2015 17:20
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It really annoyed me that they translated it as 'boogeyman'. While sort of accurate in that they both serve the same function, there are a lot better things to call an angry killer who stalks in the night from Russian folklore. You could throw a dart at a board listing every Russian folklore character and hit one. It's Russia, all they do is dark and depressing. Hell, just remembering American Gods, Chernobog would've been a way better name, especially with Wick's swap back and forth between a life of normalcy/good and murder/evil. Yngwie Mangosteen has a new favorite as of 17:31 on Jan 28, 2015 |
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Jan 28, 2015 17:25
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Pilchenstein posted:loving hell, Idris Elba and Jack Davenport: Vampire Hunters? Why has nobody told me about this? That was the first thing I saw Idris Elba in. His character is a badass.
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Jan 28, 2015 17:34
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rejutka posted:That was the first thing I saw Idris Elba in. His character is a badass. Not Stringer? Sheeeeeeeeet.
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Jan 28, 2015 17:38
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Elbas finest role is in Prometheus as the gruff lovable captain who hate-fucks Charlize Theron.
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Jan 28, 2015 17:42
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Zaphod42 posted:Not Stringer? It predates The Wire, and you've never heard of it because it ran for one six-episode series in 1998. It is brilliant nevertheless. (It also stars Stephen Meyer as a vampire, which makes a lot of people laugh. )
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Jan 28, 2015 18:03
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I woke up with a hangover this morning and it reminded me of an irrationally irritating thing: Badasses in movies (usually cowboys) who swig straight whiskey out of the bottle like it was iced tea and who down shots like they were lemonade but always seem able to shoot straight. Along these same lines, it always bothered me in M*A*S*H* (the movie and the TV show) how these doctors seemed to be wasted all the time, making stills and drinking 24/7 but could always hop to it when Radar got on the speaker and said "Attention all personnel! Incoming wounded". loving Hawkeye, Trapper, Henry and BJ never seemed to operate with a hangover, while drunk or to be passed out and unable to be rousted of bed when the choppers came. One minute they're slamming martinis and the next they're in the O.R. pulling shrapnel out of a dude's heart/liver/kidney/lung. That might have made a good episode. "Too Drunk to Operate".
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Jan 28, 2015 19:06
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BiggerBoat posted:I woke up with a hangover this morning and it reminded me of an irrationally irritating thing: Badasses in movies (usually cowboys) who swig straight whiskey out of the bottle like it was iced tea and who down shots like they were lemonade but always seem able to shoot straight. My dad was in a MASH unit during the Vietnam War, yeah, that's pretty much how it worked. You take a bunch of kids send them somewhere they don't want to go to do something they don't want to do, and surround them with horror 24/7. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol is basically what happens. Alcoholics function surprisingly well while intoxicated. I got nothing on cowboys shooting straight, whiskey or no.
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Jan 28, 2015 19:17
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DrBouvenstein posted:
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Jan 28, 2015 19:25
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