There is no corruption in FIFA thread [READ THE OP, OP]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > There is no corruption in FIFA thread [READ THE OP, OP]

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EvilHawk: Sep 15, 2009; LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

tbp posted:

Ive grown accustomed to my favorite announcer, Anwar Faatin Jafari Shaqeeq Rehman Bakar Saber. Who could forget such classic lines such as" "وسجل ليفربول هدفا التي كانت جيدة. الموت في الغرب.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

loving amazing work this

# ? Jan 28, 2015 17:52

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:01

mackintosh: Aug 18, 2007; Semper Fidelis Poloniae

lmao, the Qatar national handball team beat Germany in the handball world championship held in, yep, Qatar. They're into the semi-finals now.

I am looking forward to Qatar winning the World Cup in 2022.

# ? Jan 28, 2015 18:14

MrBling: Aug 21, 2003; Oozing machismo

mackintosh posted:

lmao, the Qatar national handball team beat Germany in the handball world championship held in, yep, Qatar. They're into the semi-finals now.

I am looking forward to Qatar winning the World Cup in 2022.

It gets less funny when you realise that the squad of 16 players only has 5 actual qatari players.

the rest are like montenegrins and bosnians.

or maybe it gets more funny.

# ? Jan 28, 2015 18:18

mackintosh: Aug 18, 2007; Semper Fidelis Poloniae

MrBling posted:

It gets less funny when you realise that the squad of 16 players only has 5 actual qatari players.

the rest are like montenegrins and bosnians.

or maybe it gets more funny.

Yeah, I know. Even better still, they were like 20th just a year and a half ago.

# ? Jan 28, 2015 18:19

Sneaks McDevious: Jul 29, 2010; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

tbp posted:

Ive grown accustomed to my favorite announcer, Anwar Faatin Jafari Shaqeeq Rehman Bakar Saber. Who could forget such classic lines such as" "وسجل ليفربول هدفا التي كانت جيدة. الموت في الغرب.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

of all the threads to generate a potm

# ? Jan 28, 2015 19:00

Troy Queef: Jan 12, 2013

tbp posted:

Ive grown accustomed to my favorite announcer, Anwar Faatin Jafari Shaqeeq Rehman Bakar Saber. Who could forget such classic lines such as" "وسجل ليفربول هدفا التي كانت جيدة. الموت في الغرب.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tbp akbar

# ? Jan 28, 2015 20:32

Simone Poodoin: Jun 26, 2003; Che storia figata, ragazzo!

MrBling posted:

It gets less funny when you realise that the squad of 16 players only has 5 actual qatari players.

the rest are like montenegrins and bosnians.

or maybe it gets more funny.

Qatar is Serbia?

# ? Jan 29, 2015 03:47

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

vyelkin posted:

Yeah, the two big challengers are probably the Jordanian prince and the Dutch FA president (don't remember their names), since they actually went to the trouble of getting backers from each continent like you're supposed to, before announcing their candidacy.

Figo has also done this apparently.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 05:11

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Drogadon posted:

Qatar is Serbia?

Maybe so, but going off their performance in the Asian Cup they're going to have to start naturalising a poo poo load more of them to have any hope of being competitive

# ? Jan 29, 2015 09:18

oldman: Dec 15, 2003; grumpy

Bogan Krkic posted:

Maybe so, but going off their performance in the Asian Cup they're going to have to start naturalising a poo poo load more of them to have any hope of being competitive

They did get the "most booed team of the tournament" award though. That's something.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 09:42

fat gay nonce: May 13, 2003; _{actual penis length: |-----------|}

Winner, PWM POTM January

tbp posted:

Ive grown accustomed to my favorite announcer, Anwar Faatin Jafari Shaqeeq Rehman Bakar Saber. Who could forget such classic lines such as" "وسجل ليفربول هدفا التي كانت جيدة. الموت في الغ Paul Scholes ;رب.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

# ? Jan 29, 2015 09:43

Skyfire: Jul 2, 2004

Ginola's dropped out

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/31050474

# ? Jan 29, 2015 19:20

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

Skyfire posted:

Ginola's dropped out

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/31050474

Well that was pointless

# ? Jan 29, 2015 20:32

Noxville: Dec 7, 2003

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

Well that was pointless

It got people to pay attention to Paddy Power for a moment, so

# ? Jan 29, 2015 20:46

Simone Poodoin: Jun 26, 2003; Che storia figata, ragazzo!

Hearing reports that it was because some dirt was found on him

details here: http://goo.gl/uqCysg

# ? Jan 29, 2015 21:11

oldman: Dec 15, 2003; grumpy

No idea how credible this is, but I dislike the Western AFC countries enough to believe it.

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/soccer/...129-131e5g.html

# ? Jan 29, 2015 22:40

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

oldman posted:

No idea how credible this is, but I dislike the Western AFC countries enough to believe it.

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/soccer/...129-131e5g.html

Why don't we just give the middle east (or west asia, whatever) their own dumb federation and make them play ~~the Oceanic Champions~~ New Zealand for a World Cup slot. Make me president of FIFA goddamn it.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 23:50

Pook Good Mook: Aug 6, 2013; ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

Only if we force them to play with Israel too.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 23:57

Byolante: Mar 23, 2008; by Cyrano4747

oldman posted:

No idea how credible this is, but I dislike the Western AFC countries enough to believe it.

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/soccer/...129-131e5g.html

The Arabs hate everyone in east asia, south east asia and Australia due to ~~racism~~ different cultural norms but nobody in east asia wants Australia gone because of the ammount of fans and tv money we provide. They want something but who knows what yet, this is just the opening gambit in a game of horse trading. Also all the voting power is in the same camp as Australia in terms of FIFA.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 23:59

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

MrBling posted:

It gets less funny when you realise that the squad of 16 players only has 5 actual qatari players.

the rest are like montenegrins and bosnians.

or maybe it gets more funny.

Are you telling me Borja Vidal, Bertrand Roin� and Danijel Saric aren't Qatari??

edit: lol besides the Montenegrins, Bosnians, French and Spanish players they have Egyptian, Tunisian and Cuban players

# ? Jan 30, 2015 14:29

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Pook Good Mook posted:

Only if we force them to play with Israel too.

Move Australia to UEFA in a swap deal with Israel imo

# ? Jan 30, 2015 14:50

Vegetable: Oct 22, 2010

There are a ton of Balkan players playing in Asia, not just Qatar. Wonder why. poo poo domestic leagues, non-EU membership means they have nowhere else to play, I guess.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 19:43

R.S. Gumby: Jul 26, 2007; Utterly useless.

Elsewhere, in the dying world of handball:

Qatar won their semifinal in the handball world championships. Well, not so much Qatar, but the team they bought to represent them, thanks to handball's lax rules on changing nationality and an endless supply of money. So, a Qatar team featuring a bunch of ex-balkan players beat Poland thanks to some rather terrible calls by the Serbian refs. Not at all suspicious, of course.

Also, once they made the semis Qatar voided a bunch of foreigner's tickets to get more home support. You got a ticket? Well, gently caress you foreigner, a Qatari "supporter" wants it.

Earlier in the tournament though they had to pay spectators (migrant workers) to show up and fill the stands. Hasn't stopped the stands from being empty, despite officially being sold out. Well, except for the Qatar fans, which they imported from Spain. Yep, they paid a Spanish club's fans to come cheer for Qatar.

Oh, and of course Qatar is gonna apply for the summer olympics.

Anyone else looking forward to 2022?

# ? Jan 30, 2015 22:28

mackintosh: Aug 18, 2007; Semper Fidelis Poloniae

I watched the game. We were seriously robbed in broad daylight, just like Germany two days before. This World Cup is going to be a riot.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 23:31

Lenin Riefenstahl: Sep 18, 2003; That's enough! Out of here, you tubs of beer!

Can't wait to see Ronaldo captain the Quatari Mannschaft to glory.

Hell, he'd have a better chance than he does with Portugal.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 23:39

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Oh, we're the other finalist in the handball world cup, I hear we're pretty good (I only watch handball during the olympics).

Hopefully we can take this.

# ? Jan 31, 2015 00:32

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Kurtofan posted:

Oh, we're the other finalist in the handball world cup, I hear we're pretty good (I only watch handball during the olympics).

Hopefully we can take this.

Is Henry playing?

# ? Jan 31, 2015 01:20

Dirk Pitt: Sep 14, 2007; haha yes, this feels good; Toilet Rascal

R.S. Gumby posted:

Oh, and of course Qatar is gonna apply for the summer olympics.

They gonna move it to December too?

# ? Jan 31, 2015 02:23

Numero6: Oct 10, 2012; ここは地の果て　流されて俺
今日もさすらい　涙も涸れる
ブルーゲイル

Kurtofan posted:

Oh, we're the other finalist in the handball world cup, I hear we're pretty good (I only watch handball during the olympics).

Hopefully we can take this.

And we have an ex-yugoslavian player too! :france:

Numero6 fucked around with this message at 03:54 on Jan 31, 2015

# ? Jan 31, 2015 02:52

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

R.S. Gumby posted:

Elsewhere, in the dying world of handball:

Qatar won their semifinal in the handball world championships. Well, not so much Qatar, but the team they bought to represent them, thanks to handball's lax rules on changing nationality and an endless supply of money. So, a Qatar team featuring a bunch of ex-balkan players beat Poland thanks to some rather terrible calls by the Serbian refs. Not at all suspicious, of course.

Also, once they made the semis Qatar voided a bunch of foreigner's tickets to get more home support. You got a ticket? Well, gently caress you foreigner, a Qatari "supporter" wants it.

Earlier in the tournament though they had to pay spectators (migrant workers) to show up and fill the stands. Hasn't stopped the stands from being empty, despite officially being sold out. Well, except for the Qatar fans, which they imported from Spain. Yep, they paid a Spanish club's fans to come cheer for Qatar.

Oh, and of course Qatar is gonna apply for the summer olympics.

Anyone else looking forward to 2022?

Nuke Qatar

# ? Jan 31, 2015 03:16

dkj: Feb 18, 2009

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

Nuke Qatar

this but unironically

# ? Jan 31, 2015 06:26

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

I was against the Iraq War but sometimes evil and injustice in the world reaches a point where it justifies international intervention

# ? Jan 31, 2015 09:04

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

R.S. Gumby posted:

Elsewhere, in the dying world of handball:

Qatar won their semifinal in the handball world championships. Well, not so much Qatar, but the team they bought to represent them, thanks to handball's lax rules on changing nationality and an endless supply of money. So, a Qatar team featuring a bunch of ex-balkan players beat Poland thanks to some rather terrible calls by the Serbian refs. Not at all suspicious, of course.

Also, once they made the semis Qatar voided a bunch of foreigner's tickets to get more home support. You got a ticket? Well, gently caress you foreigner, a Qatari "supporter" wants it.

Earlier in the tournament though they had to pay spectators (migrant workers) to show up and fill the stands. Hasn't stopped the stands from being empty, despite officially being sold out. Well, except for the Qatar fans, which they imported from Spain. Yep, they paid a Spanish club's fans to come cheer for Qatar.

Oh, and of course Qatar is gonna apply for the summer olympics.

Anyone else looking forward to 2022?

Only seven years to wait now until we get to witness the greatest spectacle on Earth in this wonderful country.

# ? Jan 31, 2015 13:48

R.S. Gumby: Jul 26, 2007; Utterly useless.

Handball, the end:

Well, France won the final against Qatar, in a surprisingly close game. The Qatar rental team was good, but so were the refs fortunately.

But it just wouldn't be Qatar without some kind of fuckery, would it?
The Emir of Qatar told the international networks covering the final that they had to show the 50-minute Qatari propaganda closing ceremony (for a handball tournament? wtf?), or they'd turn off the broadcast directly after the final. After much protests, they backed down and gave the networks a whole 20 minutes to finish.

Can't wait for 2022.

# ? Feb 1, 2015 19:15

euroboy: Mar 24, 2004

Champagne has withdrawn.

# ? Feb 2, 2015 09:53

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Burn it all down etc etc etc

The Guardian posted:

Sepp Blatter adviser accused of altering report into Fifa reform

� Fifa director of legal affairs suggested changes before publication
� German newspaper Der Spiegel publishes emails from Marco Villiger
� Fifa �strongly advised� to implement report�s reform advice

One of Sepp Blatter�s closest advisers has been accused of suggesting pre-publication changes to an independent report into Fifa reform in order to cast its president in a better light.

According to emails published by Der Spiegel, a report by Mark Pieth, a professor of criminal law at Basel University, was altered as a result of interventions by Fifa�s chief lawyer, Marco Villiger.

Blatter engaged Pieth following his 2011 victory in the Fifa presidential election to prepare the ground for a �roadmap� of reform, casting himself as the man to repair the battered reputation of world football�s governing body.

Pieth chaired an independent governance committee that published its final report in April last year. In it he claimed progress had been made on key areas of governance reform but called for further progress on the introduction of term limits, integrity checks for Fifa executive committee members and more transparency on salaries.

Pieth mostly blamed the lack of progress on those issues on Uefa and praised Blatter in interviews given to support the publication of the final report, after which the committee was disbanded. �The prospects for reform are probably at their greatest if Blatter wins more time,� he said.

The claims in Der Spiegel suggest Villiger, Fifa�s director of legal affairs, saw a draft copy of the report two months before it was published and suggested numerous changes to remove references to the Fifa president and the ISL bribery affair. �All references to the ISL case are unnecessary,� he wrote. �We do not understand what can be gained from referring to the ISL case in the report, especially on such an epic scale.�

The conclusions of an earlier report by the Fifa ethics committee had ruled that Blatter had been �clumsy� rather than �criminal� in handling a $1m bribe meant for Jo�o Havelange as part of a long-running $100m backhanders scheme.

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Villiger crossed out two lengthy passages dealing with the ISL affair. One concerned Blatter�s position of responsibility: �In addition to this problem there is also the fact president Blatter held the prominent position of general secretary at the time when ISL/ISMM was having business dealings with Fifa and when the bribes were supposed to have been paid.�

The following paragraph concerned Blatter�s possible role as an accessory: �It must be asked whether, during the years before ISL collapsed, president Blatter knew or should have known that ISL had made payments (bribes) to Fifa officials.�

Both passages were missing from the report published on 22 April.

Pieth had written that successful reform depended �on a change of culture at all levels of the organisation, starting at the top�. Villiger wrote in the margin: �Do you mean to say Fifa needs a new leader? Fifa is led by the president, whom you recognise as being a key figure in the reforms.�

Pieth deleted the express reference to Blatter�s responsibilities from his final report, instead referring to �opinion leaders, who must set a good example�. Where Pieth referred to �scandals�, Villiger substituted �previous cases�.

The revelations are damaging for Blatter because they appear to confirm the suspicion he was subverting the supposedly independent reform process for his own ends.

In justifying his decision to run again for another four-year term as president despite having promised to stand down, Blatter has spoken of the fact his �mission� is not yet complete.

Three Uefa-backed opponents are standing against Blatter: the Dutch FA president, Michael van Praag, the former world player of the year Lu�s Figo and the Jordanian royal Prince Ali.

In a statement Fifa said �no unfair influence was exerted� and that, while Blatter knew about the comments sent to Pieth on his behalf by Villiger, it was �standard procedure in tasks of this nature for auditors and advisers to first submit their reports to their clients in order for facts and any comments to be examined�.

It said that the comments did not stem from Villiger but were based on the input of several Fifa directors. Pieth�s committee had the final say on the wording, it said, and pointed out that of 37 suggested changes only five were taken up.

Pieth told Der Spiegel it had been a �strategic decision� to accept the proposed deletions since �Blatter was key to the continuing implementation of the reforms�. It was decided not to point the finger as individuals because the priority was systemic change.

# ? Feb 9, 2015 00:52

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

Poor clumsy Sepp

# ? Feb 9, 2015 07:32

Kwagga: Jun 11, 2002; I am small

ephex posted:

Poor clumsy Sepp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvMPXwqTMto

# ? Feb 9, 2015 07:48

jre: Sep 2, 2011; To the cloud ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/31322593

quote:

Fifa: Sepp Blatter and rival candidates pass electoral integrity checks

Fifa's electoral committee has approved Sepp Blatter and his three rivals for the world governing body's presidential elections on 29 May.
A Fifa statement said all four had passed "integrity checks" and were eligible to stand for the presidency.
Dutch federation president Michael van Praag and Jordanian Prince Ali bin Al Hussein are standing against Blatter and ex-Portugal winger Luis Figo.
Blatter, 78, has held the post since 1998 and is seeking a fifth term.

quote:

Fifa: Sepp Blatter and rival candidates pass electoral integrity checks

quote:

Fifa: Sepp Blatter pass integrity check

Satire's dead along with football :suicide:

# ? Feb 10, 2015 00:28

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:01

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

jre posted:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/31322593

Satire's dead along with football

What did you expect from an internal FIFA committee that already elected him four times?

# ? Feb 10, 2015 03:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > There is no corruption in FIFA thread [READ THE OP, OP]

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