Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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vains: May 26, 2004; A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

Mike-o posted:

DFACs in Baghdad were the poo poo, Kandahar and Afghanistan generally sucked balls.

Beats tray rats and MREs

# ? Feb 11, 2015 19:14

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# ? May 15, 2024 03:54

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Did that all the time. The only time we got DFACs in Baghdad were when we took trips to the green zone. Fuckers had it nice there.
But yeah, can't complain compared to MREs.

# ? Feb 11, 2015 19:20

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Mike-o posted:

DFACs in Baghdad were the poo poo, Kandahar and Afghanistan generally sucked balls.

OGA and secret squirrel SOF DFACs in Afghanistan, on the other hand, :swoon:

They had these weird red bull-shaped energy drinks that were all green and made my heart hurt.

# ? Feb 11, 2015 19:59

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

I'm pretty sure I could've started a grocery store with the amount of stuff I took out of dfacs at camp victory.

# ? Feb 11, 2015 20:17

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

Mike-o posted:

DFACs in Baghdad were the poo poo, Kandahar and Afghanistan generally sucked balls.

http://atwar.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/14/the-best-and-worst-in-kabul-military-dining/?_r=0

# ? Feb 11, 2015 20:25

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Got stuck with tray rats for months in Shir Ghazay. The Marines in charge decided they didn't want to do things like run the dining tent, so they put the Georgians in charge of the whole loving operation. So we ended up with poo poo like green beans and a boiled egg for breakfast. That's it, no side items, no drinks, no crackers.

When the next unit came in, they immediately put a stop to the Georgians looting the trucks, and I had a chorizo burrito that nearly made me weep with joy.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 08:44

Admiral Bosch: Apr 19, 2007; Who is Admiral Aken Bosch, and what is that old scoundrel up to?

LNK and Dwyer DFACs were alright in 2011. Dwyer had Mongolian grills going like every other night(which probably would have sucked if I was ever stationed there, but I was only there after convoys). LNK had the steak and lobster on Sundays, plus one of the smaller DFACs was this bangin' sandwich bar.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 19:21

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

Beats tray rats and MREs

MREs are infinitely superior to those sandwiches in the First Strike. I ate a honey barbecue beef sandwich last night and it was like someone slathered a Slim Jim in fake BBQ sauce and smashed it into some cheap bread. I could barely get through the whole thing. And then the package has plain MRE tortillas with none of the filling, so you have to improvise filling from the rest of the stuff like Starkist tuna and a packet of mayo. On the other hand, I actually like the maple sausage patty from the MREs.

I think I'm going to just buy a case of maple muffin tops.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 20:45

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

chitoryu12 posted:

MREs are infinitely superior to those sandwiches in the First Strike. I ate a honey barbecue beef sandwich last night and it was like someone slathered a Slim Jim in fake BBQ sauce and smashed it into some cheap bread. I could barely get through the whole thing. And then the package has plain MRE tortillas with none of the filling, so you have to improvise filling from the rest of the stuff like Starkist tuna and a packet of mayo. On the other hand, I actually like the maple sausage patty from the MREs.

I think I'm going to just buy a case of maple muffin tops.

Anansi rereg spotted

# ? Feb 12, 2015 21:13

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Admiral Bosch posted:

LNK and Dwyer DFACs were alright in 2011. Dwyer had Mongolian grills going like every other night(which probably would have sucked if I was ever stationed there, but I was only there after convoys). LNK had the steak and lobster on Sundays, plus one of the smaller DFACs was this bangin' sandwich bar.

My contact position rotated me through Dwyer in 2013 where they nearly immediately began shutting down the base, and decommissioned the DFACs. So we went back to mess tents and tray rats.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 21:53

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

chitoryu12 posted:

MREs are infinitely superior to those sandwiches in the First Strike. I ate a honey barbecue beef sandwich last night and it was like someone slathered a Slim Jim in fake BBQ sauce and smashed it into some cheap bread. I could barely get through the whole thing. And then the package has plain MRE tortillas with none of the filling, so you have to improvise filling from the rest of the stuff like Starkist tuna and a packet of mayo. On the other hand, I actually like the maple sausage patty from the MREs.

I think I'm going to just buy a case of maple muffin tops.

are you eating mres as a civilian? are you some kind of hosed up mutant?

# ? Feb 12, 2015 22:59

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

are you eating mres as a civilian? are you some kind of hosed up mutant?

When we do our winter exercise every year we take a box along and give it to the county guys who plow out the campsite, they're always really excited.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:13

Internet Wizard: Aug 9, 2009; BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

I gave a guy a meatball entree from an MRE I'd managed to acquire at some point as a going away present when he graduated from here, and you would have thought I'd dropped off a cake full of strippers for how excited he was.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:27

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

Admiral Bosch posted:

LNK and Dwyer DFACs were alright in 2011. Dwyer had Mongolian grills going like every other night(which probably would have sucked if I was ever stationed there, but I was only there after convoys). LNK had the steak and lobster on Sundays, plus one of the smaller DFACs was this bangin' sandwich bar.

In 2010 we had the Mongolian grills at LNK and it loving owned. We didn't have lobster then, but we did have crab and steak. I stopped getting the crab after a while because it always made me sick. Lobster would have owned.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:52

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Internet Wizard posted:

I gave a guy a meatball entree

i think thats a move n4i likes to use as well

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:54

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

are you eating mres as a civilian? are you some kind of hosed up mutant?

They're the most useful food I've found for outdoor activities, especially the FRH. They're not any worse than regular canned or frozen food.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 01:56

Thump!: Nov 25, 2007; Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!

chitoryu12 posted:

They're the most useful food I've found for outdoor activities, especially the FRH. They're not any worse than regular canned or frozen food.

No but they actually are. Get some raviolis and clif bars dude.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:06

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

chitoryu12 posted:

They're the most useful food I've found for outdoor activities, especially the FRH. They're not any worse than regular canned or frozen food.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:19

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

i think he is saying he doesn't like the poop when he is camping

that is the only way i can accept his logic

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:22

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

chitoryu12 posted:

They're the most useful food I've found for outdoor activities, especially the FRH. They're not any worse than regular canned or frozen food.

lmbo

do you wear camo pants around in your off time?

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:23

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Cole posted:

i think he is saying he doesn't like the poop when he is camping

that is the only way i can accept his logic

MREs don't cause constipation or diarrhea. Refusing to eat everything and scarfing down protein powder to bulk up while in a stressful environment will.

chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Feb 13, 2015

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:46

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

chitoryu12 posted:

MREs don't cause constipation or diarrhea. Refusing to eat everything and scarfing down protein powder to bulk up while in a stressful environment will.

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

glad you'd rather have it that way

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:51

Thump!: Nov 25, 2007; Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!

chitoryu12 posted:

MREs don't cause constipation or diarrhea. Refusing to eat everything and scarfing down protein powder to bulk up while in a stressful environment will.

Um.

Have you ever actually lived on MREs for a period of more than a week? Because if not, then this thread needs a name change.

Edit: Either that or you must be downing buckets of fiber and have a colon capable of making GBS threads shards of glass.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:54

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

chitoryu12 posted:

MREs don't cause constipation or diarrhea. Refusing to eat everything and scarfing down protein powder to bulk up while in a stressful environment will.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 03:29

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

chitoryu12 posted:

MREs don't cause constipation or diarrhea. Refusing to eat everything and scarfing down protein powder to bulk up while in a stressful environment will.

Remind us...what did you do in the service?

# ? Feb 13, 2015 03:35

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Ate MREs and poo poo on schedule, apparently.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 03:39

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

First Strike rations are bullshit unless you're basically living off of whatever you can fit in your pockets/pouches for a significant amount of time. In that case the sammiches are amazing.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 03:41

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Cole posted:

i think he is saying he doesn't like the poop when he is camping

that is the only way i can accept his logic

An acceptable position.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 03:48

anne frank fanfic: Oct 31, 2005

Remulak posted:

http://atwar.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/14/the-best-and-worst-in-kabul-military-dining/?_r=0

Lt. Andrew Sand of the Navy is currently deployed to Kabul, Afghanistan, where he helps train the Afghan National Army.

gay bitch human being

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:28

anne frank fanfic: Oct 31, 2005

the guy who wrote that article is the big idiot in the op:

quote:

I distinctly remember how sunny it was on the beach in Barcelona, Spain, when I received the e-mail about deploying to Afghanistan. It was May 2011, and I was living in Barcelona partly to improve my Spanish, but mostly to just enjoy life.

Earlier that year in January, I had left active duty after serving almost six years with the Navy. Though I had enjoyed my time in the military, I had decided to move on to another career. Living in Barcelona was my gift to myself before beginning law school in the fall.

I had never deployed to a war zone, and it was an experience that I wanted to have.

haha gay navy bitch couldnt even deploy while on 6 years active he mustve been the biggest retard which was proven when he volunteered to go back

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:33

PopeCrunch: Feb 13, 2004; internets

MREs are super great for when you're taking a bunch of boy scouts out camping, because someone ALWAYS, ALWAYS forgets either a key ingredient or cooking tool, or even if they actually pulled together and remembered to bring the hot dogs, going home and wrestling a brown cantaloupe out of your rear end beats trying to precision-poo poo into the four inch wide hole the disinterested teenager dug for the latrine pit. If you're going to be out more than two, MAYBE three days though, just pack the food yourself and bring a 5 gallon bucket to poop in.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:37

vains: May 26, 2004; A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

Thump! posted:

Um.

Have you ever actually lived on MREs for a period of more than a week? Because if not, then this thread needs a name change.

Edit: Either that or you must be downing buckets of fiber and have a colon capable of making GBS threads shards of glass.

I ate a whole box of fiber one bars in afghanistan once. I thought I had appendicitis for a day or so into a 5 day patrol. Turns out I'm not immune to fiber one bars.

The sad part was my poo poo wasn't even impressive large.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 05:09

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

I'm p pissed about Andrew Sand tbh

Read that article earlier didn't see how dumb he was thanks afff

# ? Feb 13, 2015 05:11

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Also irony lol

Cole posted:

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

Cole posted:

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

Cole posted:

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

Cole posted:

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

Cole posted:

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

Cole posted:

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

Cole posted:

well in that case i just think you're a loving idiot

# ? Feb 13, 2015 05:12

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

I ate a whole box of fiber one bars in afghanistan once. I thought I had appendicitis for a day or so into a 5 day patrol. Turns out I'm not immune to fiber one bars.

The sad part was my poo poo wasn't even impressive large.

when olean was a thing i bought a can of pringles and was playing dreamcast all night and eating the chips normally

i thought my colon had burst open and i was making GBS threads out my organs

# ? Feb 13, 2015 05:18

Vengarr: Jun 17, 2010; Smashed before noon

PopeCrunch posted:

MREs are super great for when you're taking a bunch of boy scouts out camping, because someone ALWAYS, ALWAYS forgets either a key ingredient or cooking tool, or even if they actually pulled together and remembered to bring the hot dogs, going home and wrestling a brown cantaloupe out of your rear end beats trying to precision-poo poo into the four inch wide hole the disinterested teenager dug for the latrine pit. If you're going to be out more than two, MAYBE three days though, just pack the food yourself and bring a 5 gallon bucket to poop in.

I thought "Enjoys making GBS threads in a hole in the woods" was a required skill of the hardcore army man

# ? Feb 13, 2015 05:37

Painsaw: Jul 3, 2008; Butts lol

I honestly never had problems pooping with MREs. Now that I'm out, I still bring them along on camping trips.

And my woobie is my favorite blanket.

And I fist myself while wearing a FLC with dildos strapped all over it.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 06:17

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Painsaw posted:

And my woobie is my favorite blanket.

woobie supremacy

# ? Feb 13, 2015 06:37

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Even though the one I had issued to me looked to be about 40 years old, and was faded and thin as gently caress, it was still a reasonable bit of kit.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 06:48

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# ? May 15, 2024 03:54

Sax Offender: Sep 9, 2007; College Slice

I think we can all agree that the makers of Tobasco sauce and whoever decided to out the little bottles in MREs and big ones in most DFACs deserve a medal.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 21:33

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