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Well I think most of us have enough of the mush brains and sad brains that none of it really matters any more. But here is my example of being the kind of opposite of Cole. 
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Feb 22, 2015 20:11
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| # ? May 17, 2024 10:22 |
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nobody gives a gently caress about about anyone's test scores in the military unless the test was to see how close the average dumb gently caress can withstand a nuclear blast.
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Feb 22, 2015 20:24
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It doesn't matter what your scores were, you were dumb enough to sign up to begin with and that's all that ever mattered. Everything else stems from that single
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Feb 22, 2015 20:33
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The ASVAB importance is stressed by recruiters because it's how they dick flex against other recruiters. They often sit in each other's offices talking mad poo poo about how many lives they hosed up this month, but when they start breaking even, they use the ASVAB scores to settle it; the higher the score, the "smarter" the idiot they got to fall for this poo poo..
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Feb 22, 2015 21:28
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This is like listening to office tards brag about their high school GPAs or that they are totally doing better at the community college this semester because the teacher has open book tests.
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Feb 22, 2015 22:10
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Derek Dominoe posted:This is like listening to office tards brag about their high school GPAs or that they are totally doing better at the community college this semester because the teacher has open book tests. did you know I had a really lovely high school GPA? and yet somehow I'm considered one of the smartest people in my department *gestures expansively to row of cubicles* just goes 2 show, high school performance isn't an indicator of future success e: Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college
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Feb 22, 2015 22:14
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at the date posted:did you know I had a really lovely high school GPA? and yet somehow I'm considered one of the smartest people in my department *gestures expansively to row of cubicles* i didn't graduate high school
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Feb 22, 2015 22:17
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Cole posted:i didn't graduate high school The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons in Platoons > Let's Talk About Cole!
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Feb 22, 2015 22:19
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I started my senior slide at the end of my sophomore year.
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Feb 22, 2015 22:31
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I just stopped going once I got a car.
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Feb 22, 2015 22:41
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I dropped out at the end of junior year.
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Feb 22, 2015 22:45
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i was expelled my sophmore year
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Feb 23, 2015 00:05
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I was expelled in kindergarten for being too gangsta
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Feb 23, 2015 00:12
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at the date posted:did you know I had a really lovely high school GPA? and yet somehow I'm considered one of the smartest people in my department *gestures expansively to row of cubicles* Bill Cosby didn't graduate high school and he raped way more women than most Marines.
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Feb 23, 2015 02:35
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Stultus Maximus posted:Bill Cosby didn't graduate high school and he raped way more women than most Marines. to be fair reporting is a little hosed up on both sides
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Feb 23, 2015 02:43
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People remember their ASVAB score?  fakeedit: People remember their highschool gpa!?!
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Feb 23, 2015 02:44
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when i picked up in itb one of the tis had us read message to garcia then write a paper summing up what it was about. later that evening he called me into the office and told me out of the 80 or so knuckle draggers in the platoon, i was the only one who understood what it was actually about message to garcia is like a 2 page essay and its like 8th grade reading comprehension if youre being generous. so i was essentially king of the tards
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Feb 23, 2015 03:04
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usmc.txt
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Feb 23, 2015 03:10
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Look at all these filthy peasants who had to take the ASVAB.
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Feb 23, 2015 03:20
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Stultus Maximus posted:Bill Cosby didn't graduate high school and he raped way more women than most Marines. he was navy though and marines are part of the navy
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Feb 23, 2015 03:23
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Thump! posted:People remember their ASVAB score? 85 3.5 93 wasn't that long ago poo poo
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Feb 23, 2015 03:32
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ded posted:85 you oooooooold
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Feb 23, 2015 03:33
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ded posted:85 
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Feb 23, 2015 03:34
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What was it like when dirt was invented? Were people scared?
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Feb 23, 2015 03:37
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Painsaw posted:What was it like when dirt was invented? Were people scared? You'd have to ask 50FA that. GreenMeat you can ask about the birth of the universe.
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Feb 23, 2015 03:42
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You guys are just jealous that he made it longer than most of this forum will before turning to suicide.
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Feb 23, 2015 04:12
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Godholio posted:You guys are just jealous that he made it longer than most of this forum will before turning to suicide. You say that like it's something to be proud of.
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Feb 23, 2015 04:14
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Godholio posted:You guys are just jealous that he made it longer than most of this forum will before turning to suicide. If GiP has a 20 year reunion it's just going to be a missing man table and some crickets chirping.
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Feb 23, 2015 04:24
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Feb 23, 2015 04:25
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:If GiP has a 20 year reunion it's just going to be a missing man table and some crickets chirping.
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Feb 23, 2015 04:27
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Is that for real? It's so over the top that I can't tell anymore 
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Feb 23, 2015 04:28
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nothing is real except chemtrails
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Feb 23, 2015 04:33
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So my 203 gunner being the genius that he is keeps his 203 off safety. Well we are rolling a patrol and end up dismounting. As he gets out his sling catches on the trigger of the 203 and inadvertantly pulls the trigger firing the grenade. it hits a nearby goat herders flock and blows up like 10 goats and the herder. The excuse to the chain of command? He was a suicide bomber and woopsied his vest. Now this is believed for about 2 months until he decides to talk about wasting a loving hadj to people he shouldnt. Anyway dude got no sort of punishment.
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Feb 23, 2015 04:33
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:nothing is real and jet fuel melting steel beams
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Feb 23, 2015 04:37
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Icon Of Sin posted:Is that for real? It's so over the top that I can't tell anymore 92g is a food service specialist according to https://www.goarmy.cum so perhaps he is being facetious 
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Feb 23, 2015 04:42
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Cole posted:I just stopped going once I got a car. you went to hs in iraq?
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Feb 23, 2015 05:05
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ded posted:85 Ha ha you're older than me.
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Feb 23, 2015 05:13
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My mom put my SAT score on a cake and took a picture of me holding it
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Feb 23, 2015 05:16
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Zeris posted:My mom put my SAT score on a cake and took a picture of me holding it lol based on your family, you apparently made the correct life decision by enlisting
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Feb 23, 2015 07:43
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Let's just crosspost this from the Current Events thread, it really belongs over here more. A guy I used to work with was nicknamed Rainman, it sounds an awful lot like his name, he didn't seem to get that it was an insult. He had a fat hog wife he was constantly fighting with, of course like all fats he insisted this was caused by a gland problem. His first kid has a bunch of medical issues due to pregnancy complications, apparently something in her reproductive system is hosed up or something, I'm not sure what exactly it is. The kid has both physical and mental problems, rather than getting her tubes tied immediately he decides he's going to get her pregnant again, his reasoning was that he was sure they were headed for a divorce and he didn't want his son having only step-siblings  So they have another kid, apparently it was a difficult pregnancy but I've got no idea if his daughter has any medical issues of her own as a result. They finally got her tubes tied after that. Right about that point I go TDY with him for just short of 2 months. He spends just about every waking moment we have a cell signal arguing with his wife on the phone, the rest of the time he spends watching speedrun videos. We've got a 45 minute commute twice a day during which he fights with her on the phone until he has no more bars, or starts as soon as he has a signal. Not once giving a gently caress that I know all their marital problems, or that I can't escape. I once went for a bike ride with a thunderstorm coming in just to get away from him, I ended up waiting out the storm in a tunnel.A couple months later he gets out, everyone comments on how much better his life would be if he just gets a divorce. Apparently sometime between then and a couple years ago he gets that divorce. But then my old supervisor runs into them at a beer festival, and they're planning on getting back together. Somewhere there's a video from local news of him after he and Hagatha had to be rescued by a helicopter. Her fat rear end (Maybe not but that's what I'm going with) swamped their canoe and stranded them on a little island on a river. He credits his cell phone with saving his life, and then quotes Napoleon Dynamite. Someday I'm hoping someone can dig up that video, I really want to see it. He was one of the people who stood in line to get the first iPhone, and of course was annoying as hell about. He was ECP duty during an ORE shortly after it came out, and the group commander caught him playing on it while completely MOPP'd up, largely because she was standing at the door for a few minutes before he realized she was there. It's a shame she's such a softy because he really needed someone to ream him out, it probably wouldn't have done him any good, but at least it would have been entertaining for everyone else. He was treated with kid gloves most of the time because his life was such a disaster.
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Feb 23, 2015 07:48
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