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FISHMANPET posted:When I worked retail, "Please advise" was codeword for "what the gently caress is wrong with you." For me it would be "Read what comes after this very carefully or get raped really hard"
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Feb 23, 2015 22:15
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Super Slash posted:
I would get calls at 7am because someone would change their password then immediately fail to login. "I swear I'm typing it exactly as I entered it. The keyboard must have put it in wrong" "Yeah, the keyboard failed exactly the same way twice so they matched, then start working again right after".
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Feb 23, 2015 22:17
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"Did you change my password? It doesn't work when I log in please do something"
"...Are you at the log in screen now? What happens when you try your password?"
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m.hache posted:I would get calls at 7am because someone would change their password then immediately fail to login. I call these "Motivator Errors"
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Feb 23, 2015 22:24
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MisterOblivious posted:"Right to work" is the anti-union stuff. Canada woo! This did cause work to be seriously uncomfortable for a couple days, but that's alright. We put a "formal process" in place for "escalation of Board issues" so the dingbats have to actually talk to Helpdesk when they have problems, rather than bitching directly to the CEO and having their shitfit flow downhill.
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Feb 23, 2015 22:25
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QuiteEasilyDone posted:I call these "Motivator Errors" It's usually followed up with: "These password policies are stupid. You should turn them off" 
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Feb 23, 2015 22:26
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I sent a remote user instructions on how to reset his computer password. Nice and simple in OS X using Recovery Mode.quote:I've already made a password for the helpdesk 
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Feb 23, 2015 22:35
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MJP posted:...... I ran into something similar.. Files opened in Word itself via File/Open always worked fine. Files opened via Explorer would always pause for 1-3 minutes before opening. If you look at the command used to open word files when you double click on them from Explorer, you will notice that its not a simple command line like "c:\word.exe %1", but is instead some DDE call. When you open files from Word itself, it does not appear to make this same DDE call. I believe this causes the difference in behavior. Using Process Monitor I did finally find the culprit. For some reason, opening Word and Excel files from Explorer was causing Explorer.exe to attempt connection to the UNC path of a long since decommissioned server. It would make a few attempts before giving up and finally launching Word. During this time Explorer would be completely unresponsive. I fixed it by searching through the registry for every mention of that UNC path and deleting it. After a reboot, the problem was solved.
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Feb 23, 2015 22:38
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Paraphrasing an error in the event log I found after trying to find why someone was unable to print to a certain printer in citrix;Print Spooler Event Log posted:The document failed to print. The error code was 0x0: The document printed successfully. Go to hell citrix printing, go to hell.
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Feb 23, 2015 22:57
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stevewm posted:I ran into something similar.. Files opened in Word itself via File/Open always worked fine. Files opened via Explorer would always pause for 1-3 minutes before opening. If you look at the command used to open word files when you double click on them from Explorer, you will notice that its not a simple command line like "c:\word.exe %1", but is instead some DDE call. When you open files from Word itself, it does not appear to make this same DDE call. I believe this causes the difference in behavior.
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Feb 23, 2015 23:45
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Our users are pretty good at managing to change their old password to a new one. Then it's just up to IT to hunt down their work laptop, home laptop, iPad, iPhone, extra Exchange app on the iPad, iMac Calendar app, hanging Citrix session and the 5 conference room machines where they logged on last week and just walked away from that keep locking them out every 5 seconds.
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Feb 24, 2015 08:04
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Inspector_666 posted:I usually find "please advise" is used as a condescending "Why didn't you already fix this?" replacement. Corporate buzzwords are always, always condescending.  "Please do the needful" "Okay you got it, filling your tower full of bees"
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Feb 24, 2015 13:23
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An email came in from the head of Corporate IT asking us to fill out an IT satisfaction survey... Just one week after we were told that all full timers and contractors would be laid off and we could possibly "re-apply" as temporary contractors for an outsourced IT company overseas.  (Read: Nope.) Office Space is real. I can't believe the guy had the guts to even attempt it. Baby Town Frolics fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Feb 24, 2015 |
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Feb 24, 2015 15:05
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Baby Town Frolics posted:An email came in from the head of Corporate IT asking us to fill out an IT satisfaction survey... Best time for it. Everyone will give good ratings figuring if they don't they will not be re-hired.
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Feb 24, 2015 16:08
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SubjectVerbObject posted:Best time for it. Everyone will give good ratings figuring if they don't they will not be re-hired. Only if your name is attatched to it. In which case why even bother with the survey. I'm always honest on these things since they're ostensibly anonymous. I've only gotten them about how the higher ups are communicating our "vision" etc and I more or less said that it's really obnoxious that they're advertising to us while we're at work. I must not have been alone because a lot of the bright smiling faces posters with marketing jingo on them have been taken down inside the buildings.
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Feb 24, 2015 16:24
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Eldercain posted:Only if your name is attatched to it. In which case why even bother with the survey. I'm always honest on these things since they're ostensibly anonymous. I've only gotten them about how the higher ups are communicating our "vision" etc and I more or less said that it's really obnoxious that they're advertising to us while we're at work. I must not have been alone because a lot of the bright smiling faces posters with marketing jingo on them have been taken down inside the buildings. Probably a rehash, but some companies require you to fill out the survey, or at least heavily punish your manager for less than 100% participation, and sometimes even if there is no identifying info, they still no that one of 5 people in your group gave a bad review, so they punish your group and manager for the bad surveys.
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Feb 24, 2015 17:27
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A ticket came in. Typical teacher with a laptop that has been misbehaving for months. Teacher is angry that we don't drop all things and go to him RIGHT THEN AT 8 AM DURING OUR MEETING. A coworker gets to him on his planning period, teacher refuses to let him work on the laptop citing it's been screwing up for months (And has never let us know), and the doesn't care anymore because he's only going to be here until the end of the year. Now we get to file reports with our director and the principal as to why the teacher's laptop hasn't been fixed.
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Feb 24, 2015 17:29
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quote:I need to be able to wright to folders. That's the whole ticket from new our new programmer. Where do I even start?
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Feb 24, 2015 17:40
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Put a picture of Orville and Wilbur in the folder and close the ticket.
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Feb 24, 2015 17:43
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What the sysadmin hath wrought let no user put asunder.
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Feb 24, 2015 17:56
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Kyyrewyyoae posted:That's the whole ticket from new our new programmer. Where do I even start? Sorry! Windows nor Linux supports "wright" permissions. Or... Closed:wontfix: wright amendment was repealed on October 2014
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Feb 24, 2015 18:27
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nitrogen posted:Sorry! Windows nor Linux supports "wright" permissions. Send him the chown and chmod man pages along with a link to requesting sudo access on his machine?
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Feb 24, 2015 18:30
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SubjectVerbObject posted:Probably a rehash, but some companies require you to fill out the survey, or at least heavily punish your manager for less than 100% participation, and sometimes even if there is no identifying info, they still no that one of 5 people in your group gave a bad review, so they punish your group and manager for the bad surveys. Why even bother with the survey then? Surely there's somebody closer at hand to tell you you're so wonderful? Not saying I don't think it happens, though. Kyyrewyyoae posted:That's the whole ticket from new our new programmer. Where do I even start? Spelling doesn't matter in a lot of people's job's (hint: it still does) but uh... write is a word you use frequently when, say, writing out lines. How in the world can you successfully program anything if you can't spell?
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Feb 24, 2015 19:09
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Super Slash posted:I took on Spiceworks not just for tickets, but for backup; Yes, that big long list of poo poo is things I've done. In situations like this I always get my user to show me what they're doing so I help them identify where they're messing up.
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Feb 24, 2015 19:12
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Baby Town Frolics posted:An email came in from the head of Corporate IT asking us to fill out an IT satisfaction survey... I received a job satisfaction survey last week or so from my 2nd job. I refuse to fill it out because it specially said that the link sent to my email was specific to my address. I received a reminder email from HR about it saying I need to fill it out.
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Feb 24, 2015 19:41
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I ask them to read the screen really closely. Sometimes they get pissy, but 90% of the time they either tell me it's working "finally" or that they missed the prompt. If they still screw it up, I head over, and then ask them to take me through their process so I can watch and determine what the problem (it's them, they are the problem) is. Vast majority of them though don't read the prompt and just automatically assume that it's telling them that their password is wrong.
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Feb 24, 2015 19:44
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A ticket closure email came in: Your recent request to IT Support has been resolved. Description: SWITCHNAME - Node Down Resolution: {"Client unplugged Network switch to use Microwave."} 
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Feb 24, 2015 19:59
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Inovius posted:A ticket closure email came in: My parent's home wireless cuts out when they use the microwave. Not really the same thing tho If my job sent me a thing asking me to evaluate some stuff I'll do it and I'll be honest doing it because that's the kind of crazy fucker I am.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:01
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Inovius posted:A ticket closure email came in: Why is there a switch in the kitchen?! Eldercain posted:My parent's home wireless cuts out when they use the microwave. Not really the same thing tho A family friend had this problem (plus added interference from their phones) and refused to accept my answer as to why it was happening. It's loving physics I don't know what you want me to do about it.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:02
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A call came in... From one of our clients. They had done exactly $1009 in sales yesterday and only saw $909 in their account. Their very first assumption was to call me and tell me that someone manually shorted him the money in error, and we needed to give him $100 right now. Now, I'm the install technician around here. I don't know a ton about how the money moves around once it routes through us. I know the merchant's credit card terminal batches out and tells us/First Data "Hey, this guy did $XXXX in sales. Move this money." And then the money gets moved by the various banks and financial institutions that are all tied up in this. However, I also know that there's no guy, especially not me, who goes through every single batch report at the end of the day and manually moves any money anywhere. Even if there was one, it wouldn't be here, since we don't directly touch the merchant's money, except when we take out our fees at the end of the month. So, I go and look up this merchant's account, find his batch report, and lo and behold: it's says he did $1009 in sales yesterday. The merchant's not buying it. He says he's looking at the batch report that the terminal printed out and it does say $1009, but that's not how much was put into his bank account, so it's my fault and I need to fix this. Ok, next step. Maybe one transaction was American Express? Those get funded separately, so it may not have gone in at the same... No, no, none of the transactions were AMEX, and he's not even set up to take that card type. Further, none of his transactions were even for $100 exactly. At this point, as far as I can see, this guy did $1009 in sales, and had $1009 moved into his account. In the chain of terminal>FD/us>bank>his account, I've eliminated the terminal and us. I ask him if there's a deposit statement or something he can fax us so that I have proof that he wasn't paid the right amount so I can escalate this properly to First Data. He refuses to fax over the statement, and insists that since I work with the bank, I can call them and ask them myself. No, actually I can't. I know for a fact that they'll refuse to talk to me since I'm not him. he tells me that he's gonna call the bank and have them call me and then I'll see that I'm wrong(exact wording)! Ok, good luck with that. I hang up and go vent to a coworker for a few minutes until the phone rings again. It's the merchant, and he wants to talk to me. See, turns out that when he contacted his bank to check his account, they only gave him the net total, and didn't mention that he had received a deposit of $1009 and that they had taken out a fee of $100 for something or another. It wasn't until he called the bank to bitch at them that I had the audacity to make him look at his account closely that he realized the mistake. My coworker, 2 offices down said she could feel the smug coming through the walls. I hope like hell he could feel it bleeding through the phone.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:03
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Eldercain posted:Why even bother with the survey then? Surely there's somebody closer at hand to tell you you're so wonderful? IntelliSense Only have to get it in the ball park. You probably wouldn't be surprised how often I find misspelled variable names though.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:06
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Inspector_666 posted:Why is there a switch in the kitchen?! Makes it easier for IT to take a working lunch  Back when I worked overnights, I once had to wake up the on call and have him drag his rear end down to a remote site because a switch went down. Turns out the overnight cleaning dude decided to randomly unplug some random switch to plug is vacuum in because, hey, it's not like anybody's actually using this stuff right now, right? I mean, there's nobody even here.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:06
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Inspector_666 posted:Why is there a switch in the kitchen?! I'd love to know where exactly where it's at but i'm in out NOC several hundred miles away. As for the interference I get the same thing at home - if i'm streaming poo poo to either of my chromecasts and fire up the microwave the signal goes to poo poo until the microwave is finished.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:22
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The bigger question is why isn't your switchgear in a locked cabinet? If you don't have a lot of equipment, just get something like a 6U wallmount cabinet edit: http://www.amazon.com/Tripp-Lite-SRW6U-Enclosure-Cabinet/dp/B003K1NFY4/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
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Feb 24, 2015 20:24
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Eldercain posted:My parent's home wireless cuts out when they use the microwave. Not really the same thing tho Either move them off of 2.4 GHz (you luddite), or move them to 1. Microwave ovens will chew up 50 duty cycles around 2.450 GHz (in a perfect world) which is right between channels 8 and 9. Sometimes it's a little higher loving with channel 11, and sometimes it's lower loving with channel 6.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:25
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Collateral Damage posted:The bigger question is why isn't your switchgear in a locked cabinet? If you don't have a lot of equipment, just get something like a 6U wallmount cabinet Request denied. *Scribbles "Reduced excessive spending by Inovius posted:I'd love to know where exactly where it's at but i'm in out NOC several hundred miles away. As for the interference I get the same thing at home - if i'm streaming poo poo to either of my chromecasts and fire up the microwave the signal goes to poo poo until the microwave is finished.  NOC buddy. I think I'm taking a mental health day tomorrow. If I have to look at another red critical alarm I'm going to go crazy.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:30
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flosofl posted:Either move them off of 2.4 GHz (you luddite), or move them to 1. Microwave ovens will chew up 50 duty cycles around 2.450 GHz (in a perfect world) which is right between channels 8 and 9. Sometimes it's a little higher loving with channel 11, and sometimes it's lower loving with channel 6. Er, dude should just check where the microwave's leaking. It shouldn't actually put out enough leakage to affect wifi routers that aren't right next to it. Might even be time for them to get a new microwave.
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Feb 24, 2015 20:43
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Just had my butthole-puckering incident of today : We use Munki to deploy mac software. Some apple software things had apparently broken so I'm poking around with MunkiGUIAdmin... made some changes to a manifest... and some nondescript errors popped up when saving changes. No big deal I thought. Happens sometimes. I reopened MunkiAdmin and all of my manifests are empty. 210 empty loving manifests. panic. Panic harder upon realizing we stopped using CCC to replicate our repo across a bunch of other servers. Holy poo poo : one of the CCC jobs is still running. being lazy pays off. manifests are once again full. phew!
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Feb 24, 2015 21:20
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hihifellow posted:Go to hell citrix printing, go to hell. Inspector_666 posted:Why is there a switch in the kitchen?!
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Feb 24, 2015 21:28
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spaced ninja posted:IntelliSense Only have to get it in the ball park. Yeah I'm working primarily with visual studio right now and I often have to go back and check that it didn't pick some random completion when I hit space sometimes. It's very thorough, but then I have programs I use a not very sophisticated IDE for like windows batch script and some AIX and (shudder) mainframe cobol programming. When you're staring at a giant block of green letters, it helps to know that you can spell things the first time. flosofl posted:Either move them off of 2.4 GHz (you luddite), or move them to 1. Microwave ovens will chew up 50 duty cycles around 2.450 GHz (in a perfect world) which is right between channels 8 and 9. Sometimes it's a little higher loving with channel 11, and sometimes it's lower loving with channel 6. Since I last lived there they have a new ISP and a new router so I will go ahead and venture they're running on defaults except possibly a password on the router itself (wifi is passworded at least). I'll see if it's still giving them grief next time I'm in the area but I didn't really think much on it except to laugh at my brother when he'd get dropped from our games and come back 3 minutes later bitching.
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Feb 24, 2015 21:53
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A ticket came in. From Microsoft. They want to clean up my computer. I'm nowhere near my computer, so I asked them to call back tomorrow afternoon. I'd like to spin up a VM and horribly infect it, but from what I understand cryptowall doesn't work in VM's, even if I could find it....
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Feb 24, 2015 21:54
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