The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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Suqit: Apr 25, 2005; Stars Stripes Freedom Jozy
(Jozy not pictured here)

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

Lol

# ? Feb 14, 2015 19:16

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# ? May 14, 2024 00:26

chuggo is BACK: Jul 1, 2008; "Chuggo"

PWM POTM December 2014

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

lol

# ? Feb 14, 2015 19:48

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

nice

# ? Feb 14, 2015 19:50

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

lmao

# ? Feb 14, 2015 20:10

saihttam: Apr 15, 2006; Enter sadman

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

# ? Feb 14, 2015 20:16

FullLeatherJacket: Dec 30, 2004; Chiunque pu� essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

hail satan

# ? Feb 14, 2015 20:24

Brony Car: May 22, 2014; by Cyrano4747

Gayle is such a little albino ugly looking twat isn't he, the cheating diving c*nt? Joe Ledley looks like he drives a lorry and murders prostitutes in his spare time. Pardew looks like he has extra-marital sex in a loving chip pan, the oily twat. Bolaise looks like what Bobbie McFerrin would look like if a bird poo poo on him. Hangeland looks like what Ivan Drago would look like if he became a zombie. Campbell looks like the little sporty but nerdy kid off Recess. Chamakh looks like Jeff Goldblum when he's half human half fly. Moreno dances like a honkey. The referee is a nincompoop.

# ? Feb 14, 2015 20:42

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

Tek a boo, son

# ? Feb 14, 2015 21:04

Brendan Rodgers: Jun 11, 2014

Brony Car posted:

Gayle is such a little albino ugly looking twat isn't he, the cheating diving c*nt? Joe Ledley looks like he drives a lorry and murders prostitutes in his spare time. Pardew looks like he has extra-marital sex in a loving chip pan, the oily twat. Bolaise looks like what Bobbie McFerrin would look like if a bird poo poo on him. Hangeland looks like what Ivan Drago would look like if he became a zombie. Campbell looks like the little sporty but nerdy kid off Recess. Chamakh looks like Jeff Goldblum when he's half human half fly. Moreno dances like a honkey. The referee is a nincompoop.

Wrong thread.

# ? Feb 14, 2015 21:59

JorahTheExplorer: Oct 23, 2013; You aren't my Alves, Afonso Alves,
you make me sa-aad when sky's are blue,
and Georgie Best, cost fucking less,
so please take my Alves away.

seriously people the sport is not called football it's called soccer i mean seriously thats what its called in america which has the best league aka MLS plus the far superior sport of football (american) deserves the name much more than the lovely european sport full of divers

# ? Feb 14, 2015 22:18

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Tsaedje posted:

to be fair he scores <3 goals per season

yes

# ? Feb 14, 2015 23:36

fat gay nonce: May 13, 2003; _{actual penis length: |-----------|}

Winner, PWM POTM January

Brony Car posted:

Gayle is such a little albino ugly looking twat isn't he, the cheating diving c*nt? Joe Ledley looks like he drives a lorry and murders prostitutes in his spare time. Pardew looks like he has extra-marital sex in a loving chip pan, the oily twat. Bolaise looks like what Bobbie McFerrin would look like if a bird poo poo on him. Hangeland looks like what Ivan Drago would look like if he became a zombie. Campbell looks like the little sporty but nerdy kid off Recess. Chamakh looks like Jeff Goldblum when he's half human half fly. Moreno dances like a honkey. The referee is a nincompoop.

You aren't meant to copy tarbrush posts from the match thread m8

# ? Feb 14, 2015 23:56

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

# ? Feb 15, 2015 04:47

Popehoist: Feb 5, 2008; There you go rubens, all your fault! You went on the wrong side of the car!

it's pretty embarassing when people can do your dance better than you

# ? Feb 15, 2015 08:04

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Popehoist posted:

it's pretty embarassing when white people can dance better than you

# ? Feb 15, 2015 08:18

NEED TOILET PAPER: Mar 22, 2013; by XyloJW

JorahTheExplorer posted:

seriously people the sport is not called football it's called soccer i mean seriously thats what its called in america which has the best league aka MLS plus the far superior sport of football (american) deserves the name much more than the lovely european sport full of divers

i agree.

# ? Feb 15, 2015 09:59

Coohoolin: Aug 5, 2012; Oor Coohoolie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMF5RnCelFE

# ? Feb 15, 2015 19:50

Brony Car: May 22, 2014; by Cyrano4747

quote:

The scene is set. The boss and Colin Pascoe take their seats at the announcers table with Jose Enrique managing the camera.

�First up folks we have Dejan Lovren, he�s coming out to �I need you� by Ndubz and my notes say that�s in reference to needing the fans to like him. We said they didn�t need to dress up but he�s dressed in a Superman costume.� Says a smiling Brendan Rodgers.

�Some might called that arrogant� Colin Pascoe pipes up.

�Next up is *laughs to himself* The Parisian Anaconda, I think that�s in homage to The Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Wait a minute Colin, what�s this??!�

*Tina Turner � Simply the best blares out around Melwood*

�OMG BRENDAN, HE�S HERE. HE�S SUPPOSED TO BE INJURED BUT THE ICON IS HERE. IT�S GERRARD.� Screams Colin, the strain on his shorts evident.

Steven Gerrard makes his way towards Brendan and Colin, steel chair in hand before placing it down and taking a seat beside them.

�I want to see who�ll be succeeding me. The fight they have and if they deserve it. It being the title I currently have. The winner get�s it and my blessing� he says to an awe-struck Colin Pascoe.

*The Tina Turner music stops and is replaced by �1, 2, Freddy�s coming for you�*

�Wait a minute, Stevie� Brendan begins before the lights go out.

�It�s not Freddy, It�s Sakho! Where is he?!�

The music gets louder and becomes clearer.

�1, 2, Sakho is coming for you�

�Dejan� Rodgers begins, �Why are you out of the ring and holding my arm?�

*The lights appear and the French Vice Captain is in the middle of the ring*

�Fraud� The Parisian Anaconda shouts at Dejan, �Botter Le Cul.�

Brony Car fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Feb 16, 2015

# ? Feb 16, 2015 03:42

The Big Taff Man: Nov 22, 2005; Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16; Fan of Britches

How many more paragraphs till they all start loving?

# ? Feb 16, 2015 11:18

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

The Big Taff Man posted:

How many more paragraphs till they all start loving?

Tbf the line about Sakho coming is already in there

# ? Feb 16, 2015 16:04

Simone Poodoin: Jun 26, 2003; Che storia figata, ragazzo!

# ? Feb 16, 2015 17:17

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

I'd almost say wrong thread just for #ThanksObamayang

# ? Feb 16, 2015 18:28

Your Weird Uncle: Jan 16, 2006; Boneless Rusto Thrash.

#thanksobamayang is backed

# ? Feb 19, 2015 04:33

Redczar: Nov 9, 2011

wrong thread

# ? Feb 19, 2015 21:41

Strawman: Feb 9, 2008; Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

Just what we needed, a rising star winger with pace and a left back who can actually both defend and attack.
Ironic they're both black players. That'll stick 2 fingers up to the venomous Mackay-haters.

# ? Feb 21, 2015 15:50

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

# ? Feb 21, 2015 19:22

meat CRime: Jun 12, 2010; ham, turkey, roast beef, cold cuts, North Carolina, vienna sausage; Grimey Drawer

trem_two posted:

lmao

# ? Feb 21, 2015 22:06

Strawman: Feb 9, 2008; Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

Van Persie out

Chicharito in

Fellaini/Chicharito could be the new Heskey-Owen.

# ? Feb 21, 2015 22:31

Seltzer: Oct 11, 2012; Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!

Strawman posted:

Van Persie out

Chicharito in

Fellaini/Chicharito could be the new Heskey-Owen.

Has Hernandez done anything other than score the odd goal as a sub when Real are already 3 up on a garbage team? Seriously I'm inquiring.

# ? Feb 21, 2015 23:32

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Seltzer posted:

Has Hernandez done anything other than score the odd goal as a sub when Real are already 3 up on a garbage team? Seriously I'm inquiring.

He moved a lot of bootleg Real Madrid shirts with his name on it. Other than that, no.

# ? Feb 21, 2015 23:35

Seltzer: Oct 11, 2012; Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!

trem_two posted:

He moved a lot of bootleg Real Madrid shirts with his name on it. Other than that, no.

Yea, I've seen those.

# ? Feb 21, 2015 23:59

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

Seltzer posted:

Has Hernandez done anything other than score the odd goal as a sub when Real are already 3 up on a garbage team? Seriously I'm inquiring.

Tbf he wouldn't get the opportunity to do anything else unless Benzema died

# ? Feb 22, 2015 00:24

atomic gog: Apr 11, 2005; Winner June 2013 POTM

Strawman posted:

Van Persie out

Chicharito in

Fellaini/Chicharito could be the new Heskey-Owen.

Lol

# ? Feb 22, 2015 11:11

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

NYCFC are brewing up some fair trade organic fan culture

# ? Feb 24, 2015 18:43

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

trem_two posted:

NYCFC are brewing up some fair trade organic fan culture

Will the capos be enforcing the nicknames?

# ? Feb 24, 2015 18:55

Lamont Cranston: Sep 1, 2006; how do i shot foam

hahaha blue steel

# ? Feb 24, 2015 18:57

tbp: Mar 1, 2008; DU WIRST NIEMALS ALLEINE MARSCHIEREN

Who the gently caress are the people approving things like that to go out

# ? Feb 24, 2015 19:36

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

The Jew Crew

# ? Feb 24, 2015 19:46

chuggo is BACK: Jul 1, 2008; "Chuggo"

PWM POTM December 2014

if they call themselves blue steel RBNY should rename themselves Jet Fuel

# ? Feb 24, 2015 20:12

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# ? May 14, 2024 00:26

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

tbp posted:

Who the gently caress are the people approving things like that to go out

lovely millennial marketing majors?

e: I guess I could just say marketing majors, lovely and millennial seem redundant...

# ? Feb 24, 2015 20:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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