Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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Lazy Reservist: Nov 30, 2005; FUBIJAR

Godholio posted:

Two of our people got ~~tats~~ Hep C at the shop across from the main gate for some loving reason, too.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 01:54

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# ? May 16, 2024 19:40

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

USMC503 posted:

The way that is worded (he is in DEP and went through MEPS) makes me think he already IS open contract.

The recruiter conned the gently caress out of that idiot. If he doesn't know his MOS field, that means he signed paperwork without one lol.

Eh. It's what I had to do to get an Infantry contract.

Victor Vermis posted:

Went through MEPS and signed my Open Contract with the Marine Corps on Thursday.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 03:33

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

OZYMANDICKASS posted:

Eh. It's what I had to do to get an Infantry contract.

oh. oh my. just look how precious you were back then you lil scamp :3:

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:06

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

My little brother got an infantry contact thorough DEP. Then he volunteered to go to 0313 school while he was in SOI. He bitches about it a lot.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:57

LCL-Dead: Apr 22, 2014; Grimey Drawer

USMC503 posted:

The way that is worded (he is in DEP and went through MEPS) makes me think he already IS open contract.

The recruiter conned the gently caress out of that idiot. If he doesn't know his MOS field, that means he signed paperwork without one lol.

I've got a buddy who's a ranger now that went army after I told him the usmc recruiter was loving him over.

The recruiter got him to agree to go to meps and swear in on some poo poo mos, telling him that he'd change it to infantry before he shipped. I lol'd pretty hard and told him what was up.

Then I got the kids father fired for trying to gently caress me over. Good times.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:58

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

vulturesrow posted:

My little brother got an infantry contact thorough DEP. Then he volunteered to go to 0313 school while he was in SOI. He bitches about it a lot.

what a dummy

# ? Feb 25, 2015 05:03

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

what a dummy

Yeah p. much. I tried like hell to talk him out of infantry altogether. Obviously I failed.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 05:06

vains: May 26, 2004; A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

vulturesrow posted:

My little brother got an infantry contact thorough DEP. Then he volunteered to go to 0313 school while he was in SOI. He bitches about it a lot.

LAVs are gay. When did he go?

# ? Feb 25, 2015 05:12

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

terrez posted:

I went on leave once and the CPO Yeoman asked me to send him a postcard from home. So I sent him one that said "greetings from redlands!"

It was just a black postcard because there is not a drat thing to do there.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 05:18

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

LAVs are gay. When did he go?

Would've went through late 2011/early 2012.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 05:44

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

LAVs are one of those things that look like they'd be hella cool and then you're in one and fucccccccck

# ? Feb 25, 2015 06:33

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

USMC503 posted:

the military is one of those things that look like they'd be hella cool and then you're in and fucccccccck

# ? Feb 25, 2015 07:01

LCL-Dead: Apr 22, 2014; Grimey Drawer

I was at 2nd tanks, across the street from 2nd lar. those boys hated life.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 15:25

vains: May 26, 2004; A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

vulturesrow posted:

Would've went through late 2011/early 2012.

You have a brother 15 years younger than you? Your dad is junior enlisted as gently caress.

LCL-Dead posted:

I was at 2nd tanks, across the street from 2nd lar. those boys hated life.

back to back to back deployments 2005-2014 will have that effect.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 18:14

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

USMC503 posted:

LAVs are one of those things that look like they'd be hella cool and then you're in one and fucccccccck

That pretty accurately describes my brother's experience in LAVs

LeoMarr posted:

USMC503 posted:
the military are one of those things that look like they'd be hella cool and then you're in one and fucccccccck

and the military. He just re-upped lol.

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

You have a brother 15 years younger than you? Your dad is junior enlisted as gently caress.

back to back to back deployments 2005-2014 will have that effect.

He isnt even my youngest sibling. I have another little brother that is about 4-5 years younger than him. My dad had 3 different wives, my mom being the first, and 5 children spread across those three marriages. I didn't meet him or my siblings until I was 17. Didn't know my stepdad wasn't my real dad until I was in the 3rd grade. So yeah, your assessment is spot on.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 18:43

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

vulturesrow posted:

and the military. He just re-upped lol.

He isnt even my youngest sibling. I have another little brother that is about 4-5 years younger than him. My dad had 3 different wives, my mom being the first, and 5 children spread across those three marriages. I didn't meet him or my siblings until I was 17. Didn't know my stepdad wasn't my real dad until I was in the 3rd grade. So yeah, your assessment is spot on.

I feel ya. I have 4 siblings. My oldest brother (5 years older), whom I was told was my step-brother until I was 20 and we figured out we're infact half brothers because my mom was cheating on my supposed natural father with my step-dad-turned-real-dad for like 4 years before either got divorced. Then my sister (3 years older) from my mom's first marriage. Then my youngest sister (12 years younger) The only kid my bio-dad and mom actually had together that they could tell the rest of the family about. Then there's my other half brother (2 years older) who lives on Guam because my bio-dad knocked up a Navy chick right before he started cheating on his wife at the time (oldest brother's mom) with my mom, who by the way, is my older brother's mother's youngest cousin who came out to Guam to visit her cousin and ended up starting up a 4 year affair with her husband, my biological father.

Then there's the even weirder part that the guy I call "dad" is actually my oldest half-brother's step dad, because he and my brother's biological mom (my mom's cousin) actually let me live with them for awhile when my bio parents were looking like they were gonna divorce over some idiot bullshit family drama when I was 11-14, and I stayed closer with him than either of my two earlier 'dads'

Honestly I'm amazed I didn't come out of that poo poo way more retarded than I am

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:00

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Your mom's a ho

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:04

Shooting Blanks: Jun 6, 2007; Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade

We need a flowchart for your family

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:05

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Holy poo poo.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:07

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Your mom's a ho

Yep, and my father's even worse.

Also, as an extra fun enlisted kicker to the whole thing, my oldest brother's mom met his step dad because he was his 1st Sgt at the time of my natural father's disciplinary hearing for getting caught loving around on his wife with everyone on the planet. They started dating about 8 months after the divorce

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:08

xthetenth: Dec 30, 2012; Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

Shooting Blanks posted:

We need a flowchart for your family

Think spider web.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:11

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Could be worse

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:14

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Shooting Blanks posted:

We need a flowchart for your family

Here ya go

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:17

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

xthetenth posted:

Think spider web.

Yeah I totes couldn't follow that poo poo.

I did hear banjos playing though.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:24

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

USMC503 posted:

Yeah I totes couldn't follow that poo poo.

I did hear banjos playing though.

There's a reason I ended up enlisting

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:27

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Booblord Zagats posted:

There's a reason I ended up enlisting

the cycle of life is complete

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:39

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Booblord Zagats posted:

Yep, and my father's even worse.

Also, as an extra fun enlisted kicker to the whole thing, my oldest brother's mom met his step dad because he was his 1st Sgt at the time of my natural father's disciplinary hearing for getting caught loving around on his wife with everyone on the planet. They started dating about 8 months after the divorce

I want to party with you

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:46

xthetenth: Dec 30, 2012; Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Could be worse

Snip why Carlos was more inbred than a brother sister pair's kids.

That's the yin to his yang. The in to his family's out.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 20:17

lightpole: Jun 4, 2004; I think that MBAs are useful, in case you are looking for an answer to the question of "Is lightpole a total fucking idiot".

Guam is loving weird. Right up there with Alaska.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 20:33

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

So this guy popped up on the FReep thread:

quote:

To: PROCON
In my 26 years of military service I was given �the talk� several times for not towing the line of the diversity BS. I was once even called to the BN commander�s office over the rumor that I was attempting to start a �White Rally� on post.

I filed a formal complaint about there not being an observance for my race (white) and was told we weren�t entitled to one because we aren�t a minority. I pushed the issue that we were discriminated against through exclusion. I received orders shortly after and never got a response.

It was incredibly rare to see an Equal Opportunity NCO that was NOT a minority or a woman.

14 posted on 2/24/2015, 8:27:24 AM by rfreedom4u (Do you know who Barry Soetoro is?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

# ? Feb 25, 2015 21:21

LCL-Dead: Apr 22, 2014; Grimey Drawer

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

.
back to back to back deployments 2005-2014 will have that effect.

TOWs and Scouts were back to back for the same time period and we weren't miserable.

LAR just went apeshit in garrison. 0600-1800 working hours, ramp watches, stupid gently caress gently caress games 24/7, etc. For the most part, tanks left their 03's alone and unsupervised in garrison. Sometimes it worked out for us, others it didn't.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 21:26

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Zeroisanumber posted:

So this guy popped up on the FReep thread:

What is this "observance" he's talking about? Is there a "BLACK GUYS GET THE DAY OFF" holiday in the military?

I'm seriously asking because lol USMC Infantry

.. although I guess we definitely would've noticed if there was a Latino day off.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 22:24

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

OZYMANDICKASS posted:

What is this "observance" he's talking about? Is there a "BLACK GUYS GET THE DAY OFF" holiday in the military?

I'm seriously asking because lol USMC Infantry

.. although I guess we definitely would've noticed if there was a Latino day off.

Standard Freep whining about being an ~*oppressed straight white male*~. The thread (in D&D) will have your face alternating between :stonklol:

and

at how utterly stupid and spiteful they are.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 22:45

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Shooting Blanks posted:

We need a flowchart for your family

I'm going to have to draw it on a M�bius strip.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 00:33

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

I had a contractor ranting to me about how he was in he didn't get promoted because they kept giving his to women and blacks.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 00:39

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Casimir Radon posted:

I had a contractor ranting to me about how he was in he didn't get promoted because they kept giving his to women and blacks.

If you have any authority, for the love and joy of Christ promote no one but women and blacks over him.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 01:51

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Zeroisanumber posted:

If you have any authority, for the love and joy of Christ promote no one but women and blacks over him.

He's long gone now, hopefully contracting learned their lessons about hiring his company ever again but I doubt it.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 02:04

vains: May 26, 2004; A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

LCL-Dead posted:

TOWs and Scouts were back to back for the same time period and we weren't miserable.

LAR just went apeshit in garrison. 0600-1800 working hours, ramp watches, stupid gently caress gently caress games 24/7, etc. For the most part, tanks left their 03's alone and unsupervised in garrison. Sometimes it worked out for us, others it didn't.

Didn't 2nd tanks scout platoon kill someone playing the trust game?

# ? Feb 26, 2015 02:35

LCL-Dead: Apr 22, 2014; Grimey Drawer

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

Didn't 2nd tanks scout platoon kill someone playing the trust game?

I thought he was in TOWs when it happened but I know exactly who you're talking about because he was one of my boots.

The loving kid used, "But the senior guys did it to me while we were deployed! That's where I learned it!" as a kind of justification for why he played the game and I wanted to loving kill him for it. None of us were even issued sidearms on his first deployment, just the section leaders, so 4 people had 9mm's. I'd seen someone doing it once while loving around in the cage on the tank ramp with an unloaded pistol and I about broke his fingers taking the thing away from the kid.

Low and behold, a couple of months later that poo poo happens. That loving idiot.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 13:49

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# ? May 16, 2024 19:40

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Everyday those guys drove down mobile and back again. Nothing involving people. Just a stretch of road. That's it.

Their two hooches were like the last car in Snowpiercer.

But they didn't stand post so gently caress 'em. Get out of the MWR.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 14:12

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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