Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.

Atal Vataman posted:

heres what every new player to the game should do:

1. buy a löwe AND a T34
2. do not read any tutorials/wikis (SPOILERS!)
3. turn off chat
4. play those two tanks exclusively until you can free xp and buy an e100
5. play e100 forever

FCM quixperiences faster since it gets to the front sooner and dies sooner. CDC might be even better.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Mesadoram
Nov 4, 2009

Serious Business
New physics videos are interesting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJQ-3ETK08I

So essentially if you get enough practice you can do a 90 slide around a corner thus not showing your tracks to the enemy and look ballin as poo poo as you enter the fight.

demonR6
Sep 4, 2012

There are too many stupid people in the world. I'm not saying we should kill them all or anything. Just take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself.

Lipstick Apathy

Agrajag posted:

Wow, I am a total retard. Evidently I can access the alpha test forums in Armored Warfare, which means I was apparently invited into the Alpha focus testing at some point. Sad thing is I never got an email notifying me, and this is after I recovered my old deleted emails and junk folder just to see if I missed it.

Yup, I have to agree the steamrolling in matches really has gotten worse for some absurd reason. Winning doesn't even seem as much fun when its like that.

loving hell so was I and the invite went straight to the depths of the worst of the spam folders. I only found it because I searched the spam trash folder. gently caress you Google.

I completely missed out on the Alpha test.

DonkeyHotay
Jun 6, 2005

Rorac posted:

Watching it go through those ridges on the hill was pretty interesting as well. I get the impression that it's going to open up some parts of maps that were either inaccessible or at least a pain in the rear end to get through.


Also yes, get the turret on the T29. As an added bonus on top of everything mentioned, stupid pubbies will shoot the turret ears because it's easy to penetrate (and is a zero-damage hitbox, so they do fuckall). This is better than them shooting the cupola, because they might actually pen that.

Shooting the ears dealt damage for like a year after launch.

Agrajag
Jan 21, 2006

gat dang thats hot
World of Tokyo Drift seems wonky to me in a tank game.

Mesadoram
Nov 4, 2009

Serious Business
World of Tanks: Tokyo Drifting Into Your Heart

Creamed Cormp
Jan 8, 2011

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Okay now I will HAVE to drift while blooping/magdumping retards in the side with my T49/luchs, thanks WG.

(just kidding this might be the first thing I'm actually excited for in over 6 months).

Mesadoram
Nov 4, 2009

Serious Business

WitchFetish posted:

Okay now I will HAVE to drift while blooping/magdumping retards in the side with my T49/luchs, thanks WG.

(just kidding this might be the first thing I'm actually excited for in over 6 months).

I am looking forward to auto locking onto a sucker in my T2 Light Tank and drifting around the corner holding the left mouse button. It is going to feel so badass.

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.

WitchFetish posted:

Okay now I will HAVE to drift while blooping/magdumping retards in the side with my T49/luchs, thanks WG.

(just kidding this might be the first thing I'm actually excited for in over 6 months).

I already do a sick drift while clipping fools in my Luchs, now I'll be able to do it and keep going rather than spinning out.

e: I'm looking forward to not getting stuck on terrain. No more getting stuck over minor gaps, or stuck on one track on flat goddamn ground seriously I am so bad at this poo poo.

Hellsau fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Feb 26, 2015

Arishtat
Jan 2, 2011

WitchFetish posted:

Okay now I will HAVE to drift while blooping/magdumping retards in the side with my T49/luchs, thanks WG.

(just kidding this might be the first thing I'm actually excited for in over 6 months).

Did someone say return of the T-50: Himmelsdorf Drift?

I hope so because that was fun as hell.

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.

Arishtat posted:

Did someone say return of the T-50: Himmelsdorf Drift?

I hope so because that was fun as hell.

Oh man I hope they bring Chaffee Races back with physics that aren't a joke. Those loving pipes.

saintonan
Dec 7, 2009

Fields of glory shine eternal

Arishtat posted:

Did someone say return of the T-50: Himmelsdorf Drift?

I hope so because that was fun as hell.

As long as they do it on Winter Himmelsdorf and model icy and snowy roads accurately.

Foxtrot_13
Oct 31, 2013
Ask me about my love of genocide denial!

MoraleHazard posted:

Got it. I have the 105mm, 2 seconds is very meaningful, that should get me to under 10 seconds reload. I didn't think view range was as important in a heavy tank, but maybe that's ignorant. Turret it is. Turret > engine > radio now.

If you have decent scouts and mediums view range is less important than other stats.

So in random games its a god send. Being able to get off the first aimed shot is very useful. Also the front of the turret is made up of nearly pure bullshit so hide that hull as much as you can.

rockopete
Jan 19, 2005

Mesadoram posted:

New physics videos are interesting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJQ-3ETK08I

So essentially if you get enough practice you can do a 90 slide around a corner thus not showing your tracks to the enemy and look ballin as poo poo as you enter the fight.

Heaviums are going to get so much more fun, I can't wait to take out my IS-3 in cities

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJQ-3ETK08I&t=329s

The Southern Dandy
Jun 15, 2010

ASK ME ABOUT MY RADLEY-WALTERS' MEDAL

Is that medal for being the most intolerable poster in a thread about Warhammer 40.000 novels? Because if it is, you sure blew the competition out of the water, son.
4k+ damage in the 53/55; not the super best game, but not slacking. Top damage across both teams, with High Caliber, still blamed for the loss. loving Christ.

Squiddite
Apr 15, 2001
Loligo vos omnes odet.
Hellsau, are you conducting some kind of PR blitz or something? You've made this pubbie very mad, and your name has come up more than once in various streamers' chats this week as a prime example of a bad person to avoid. You seem to have taken the crown from Hardest as pubbie persona non grata.

Cardiac
Aug 28, 2012

The Southern Dandy posted:

4k+ damage in the 53/55; not the super best game, but not slacking. Top damage across both teams, with High Caliber, still blamed for the loss. loving Christ.

Of course it is your fault, you obviously didn't carry enough.

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.
Hey dudes, we can convert free XP to crew XP. First skill takes 210 thousand XP. We can convert 1 free XP into 5 crew XP. It costs 1 gold to convert 25 XP, so 210000/5/25 = 1680 gold to get first skill. That is extravagant. Thank god for female crews and the Winter Mode, I'm swimming in extra crews, or I'd be tempted. Oh and it's also only for the weekend for some reason.

Squiddite posted:

Hellsau, are you conducting some kind of PR blitz or something? You've made this pubbie very mad, and your name has come up more than once in various streamers' chats this week as a prime example of a bad person to avoid. You seem to have taken the crown from Hardest as pubbie persona non grata.

I don't mince words. If someone fucks up, I don't politely ask them to go to another channel and gently describe how I believe they made a mistake. I tell them straight up what they did wrong, how it hosed our team, and how they can avoid doing it in the future.

There's a lot of players with giant egos who can't back their poo poo up. I can backup my gigantic ego. When someone with a large ego and nothing behind it starts trash talking me or people who beat us fairly, I don't let it stand. I really do need to write up my Campaign 3 experiences. I haven't wanted to since the ending is a loving tragedy, but I guess I should get it out there.

I have no idea who Jaggetto is though, but this line:

quote:

He is a good player, but only after stat padding at the lower tiers.

is hilarious. I'm a good player, but I learned how to play well in lower tiers, and that is unacceptable! I assume he meant I have good stats from seal clubbing and am a bad player, otherwise it makes no loving sense at all, but...actually he's probably some random pubbie 50%er who literally has no idea how to win games and I'm just being too generous. That line just keeps cracking me up though. Spoiler alert everyone - you can't stat pad WN8 in lower tiers any better than you can in higher tiers, and also my low tiers have worse winrates than my tier 7s!

Mesadoram
Nov 4, 2009

Serious Business

The Southern Dandy posted:

4k+ damage in the 53/55; not the super best game, but not slacking. Top damage across both teams, with High Caliber, still blamed for the loss. loving Christ.

SEE WHAT YOU GET SKYCANCER?! IF YOU WERE NOT BUSY JERKING OFF AFTER EVERY SHOT YOU COULD HAVE WON IT FOR THE UNWASHED PUBBIE MASSES!

/s

I got like 90% of my T10s locked last night in CW because I am an idiot. But that 140 looked so juicy to ram in my 50b.

The Southern Dandy
Jun 15, 2010

ASK ME ABOUT MY RADLEY-WALTERS' MEDAL

Is that medal for being the most intolerable poster in a thread about Warhammer 40.000 novels? Because if it is, you sure blew the competition out of the water, son.

Hellsau posted:

Hey dudes, we can convert free XP to crew XP. First skill takes 210 thousand XP. We can convert 1 free XP into 5 crew XP. It costs 1 gold to convert 25 XP, so 210000/5/25 = 1680 gold to get first skill. That is extravagant. Thank god for female crews and the Winter Mode, I'm swimming in extra crews, or I'd be tempted. Oh and it's also only for the weekend for some reason.

Why do I have Foch 155 crew after this patch? Did I miss something?

rex rabidorum vires
Mar 26, 2007

KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN
He's a bad roxy player that you cussed out after he blew one of the t37 strats in the campaign. Also, I need to find a new clan because Roxy is fairly awful and the few guys I had fun with disappeared.

Edit: ^^ 8 bit Dandy. Also we need to get drunk and tank again soon

The Southern Dandy
Jun 15, 2010

ASK ME ABOUT MY RADLEY-WALTERS' MEDAL

Is that medal for being the most intolerable poster in a thread about Warhammer 40.000 novels? Because if it is, you sure blew the competition out of the water, son.

Mesadoram posted:

SEE WHAT YOU GET SKYCANCER?! IF YOU WERE NOT BUSY JERKING OFF AFTER EVERY SHOT YOU COULD HAVE WON IT FOR THE UNWASHED PUBBIE MASSES!

/s

I got like 90% of my T10s locked last night in CW because I am an idiot. But that 140 looked so juicy to ram in my 50b.

The guy who told me that said I should have done 8k. Still jerking! Nevermind our Tier X TDs/Heavies wound up with 3k dmg combined.

The Southern Dandy
Jun 15, 2010

ASK ME ABOUT MY RADLEY-WALTERS' MEDAL

Is that medal for being the most intolerable poster in a thread about Warhammer 40.000 novels? Because if it is, you sure blew the competition out of the water, son.

rex rabidorum vires posted:

He's a bad roxy player that you cussed out after he blew one of the t37 strats in the campaign. Also, I need to find a new clan because Roxy is fairly awful and the few guys I had fun with disappeared.

Edit: ^^ 8 bit Dandy. Also we need to get drunk and tank again soon

I'll gladly drop ROXY just to follow you around for random things. I'll even show up sober for clam wars for the first couple of times!

WayAbvPar
Mar 11, 2009

Ah- Smug Mode.

Hellsau posted:

Hey dudes, we can convert free XP to crew XP. First skill takes 210 thousand XP. We can convert 1 free XP into 5 crew XP. It costs 1 gold to convert 25 XP, so 210000/5/25 = 1680 gold to get first skill. That is extravagant. Thank god for female crews and the Winter Mode, I'm swimming in extra crews, or I'd be tempted. Oh and it's also only for the weekend for some reason.


I don't mince words. If someone fucks up, I don't politely ask them to go to another channel and gently describe how I believe they made a mistake. I tell them straight up what they did wrong, how it hosed our team, and how they can avoid doing it in the future.

There's a lot of players with giant egos who can't back their poo poo up. I can backup my gigantic ego. When someone with a large ego and nothing behind it starts trash talking me or people who beat us fairly, I don't let it stand. I really do need to write up my Campaign 3 experiences. I haven't wanted to since the ending is a loving tragedy, but I guess I should get it out there.

I have no idea who Jaggetto is though, but this line:


is hilarious. I'm a good player, but I learned how to play well in lower tiers, and that is unacceptable! I assume he meant I have good stats from seal clubbing and am a bad player, otherwise it makes no loving sense at all, but...actually he's probably some random pubbie 50%er who literally has no idea how to win games and I'm just being too generous. That line just keeps cracking me up though. Spoiler alert everyone - you can't stat pad WN8 in lower tiers any better than you can in higher tiers, and also my low tiers have worse winrates than my tier 7s!

When is the radioman 6th sense change coming? I am tempted to dump some gold into the handful of commanders I have that don't have it.

Also, I appreciate your constructive criticisms, even if they are delivered harshly. That is why I like playing with players better than I am- I almost always learn something. Having them carry me to 65% WR per session doesn't hurt either :tipshat:

Valle
Apr 16, 2004

Telling customers how to solve world problems since 2001

Arishtat posted:

Did someone say return of the T-50: Himmelsdorf Drift?

I hope so because that was fun as hell.

Get a RU-251. Drifting that poo poo on Himmelsdorf kinda puts the old T-50 to shame. No, really!

Squiddite posted:

Hellsau, are you conducting some kind of PR blitz or something? You've made this pubbie very mad, and your name has come up more than once in various streamers' chats this week as a prime example of a bad person to avoid. You seem to have taken the crown from Hardest as pubbie persona non grata.

Hellsau posted:

is hilarious. I'm a good player, but I learned how to play well in lower tiers, and that is unacceptable! I assume he meant I have good stats from seal clubbing and am a bad player, otherwise it makes no loving sense at all, but...actually he's probably some random pubbie 50%er who literally has no idea how to win games and I'm just being too generous. That line just keeps cracking me up though. Spoiler alert everyone - you can't stat pad WN8 in lower tiers any better than you can in higher tiers, and also my low tiers have worse winrates than my tier 7s!

I saw the "only after statpadding" comment and burst out laughing. I'm gonna go ahead and assume he looked you up on noobmeter, glanced right past the Hellcat and SU-122-44, and then latched onto the fact that the next 5 most played tanks are all tier 1-5 for you. Now if he'd had a brain, or even eyes, he'd notice that your win ratio in those tanks aren't THAT high above your overall, and as you scroll down the list you tend to do well in most tanks, really. But nope, some of your most played tanks are low tiers so ONLY GOOD STATS DUE TO SEALCLUBBING RA RA RA. He's seriously butthurt about something.

The Southern Dandy posted:

Why do I have Foch 155 crew after this patch? Did I miss something?

All the 8bit tanks got their crew converted. Polar Bear into Foch 155 crew, Mammoth into T110E5 crew, and Arctic Fox into LGBT LTTB crew.

rex rabidorum vires
Mar 26, 2007

KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN
Thinking of chucking that crew into an mt-25...though the guns look kinda meh. Granted I'm using the 57 on an a43 and I knocked the 59-16 out with it so I guess it'll just be expensive.

Jack_tripper
Jun 7, 2009

The Southern Dandy posted:

I'll even show up sober for clam wars for the first couple of times!
I wouldn't leave roxy at least until the good clans finish the civil war and reclaim their primo spots on the map. I only showed up a couple of days last week and got 2k gold dumped on me because of mexico city

The Southern Dandy
Jun 15, 2010

ASK ME ABOUT MY RADLEY-WALTERS' MEDAL

Is that medal for being the most intolerable poster in a thread about Warhammer 40.000 novels? Because if it is, you sure blew the competition out of the water, son.

Jack_tripper posted:

I wouldn't leave roxy at least until the good clans finish the civil war and reclaim their primo spots on the map. I only showed up a couple of days last week and got 2k gold dumped on me because of mexico city

ROXY is fun for me just showing up every once in a while and turning around a game based on arty. I don't care about the gold, though it is nice, but just burning tanks into nothing gratifies me.

When our caller says "You're loving this up, and it comes down to 1v1 play" and I remove the tank from the game, that is so loving satisfying.

Mesadoram
Nov 4, 2009

Serious Business
:siren:This is probably the best change the physics have done.:siren:

maev
Dec 6, 2010
Economically illiterate Tory Boy Bollocks brain.
Keep away from children
9 kills in my T-34-85m, I love you still even though you go at 35 kph constantly.

Agrajag
Jan 21, 2006

gat dang thats hot

OMG

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.
Well then, this is a long time coming. Sit down and gather ‘round children, and let me tell you the tale of:

Hellsau’s Campaign of Terror 3: Clan

Prologue:

So, some background. For the first campaign, I was in PURPL, but I left before the campaign began. I then chose to join VOLT, who were one of the leaders of the campaign’s Stage 2. I got my M60 and a great goddamn story. They were super duper incompetent and it was glorious.

So Campaign 2 rolls around, and Fame Points come out. I can get the tank just by playing? Sweet! So I join UGKB. I was hoping for another complete disaster like VOLT, but I was extremely disappointed. UGKB were an insanely good clan – they had callers who prepared beforehand, the players actually listened to the caller, and there was no drama. Just one problem – no one could shoot tanks. The players were straight up bad. So I left, joined NTR, they did a bunch of the missions which effectively invalidated the individual fame points, and got my VK7201. NTR ended up basically dying a few months before the third Campaign (like eight people online at prime time) so I left.

When the details about Campaign 3 came out, it seemed much better than Campaign 2. There were no longer any bizarre missions that gave out vast numbers of fame points, so it seemed like you could just play wherever and get the tank if you put in the work. Note – I will be spoilering certain things. If you know how hard it was to get battles/fame in the campaign, you know why I have to spoiler. Pushedback joined ROXY, and they seemed just the right kind of clan to join if I wanted a good story. They did not disappoint.

Chapter 1: ROXY

I have a LOT of choice quotes from people in ROXY. I’ll just post them all at the end of this chapter, otherwise they’d break up the flow. One thing you all should know is that ROXY is some sort of subclan of CHAI, and it shows.

Before the campaign started, I platooned with Charles Martel The Hammer and someone else who wanted to join ROXY. Charles has been told by someone that I’m a good caller. Someone is a god damned liar. Never let Hellsau call.

Anyway, the Campaign starts. It goes adequate. I hear secondhand that apparently one Cromwell held off 5 ROXYs on Abbey. That’s a good sign – extreme cowardice like that leads to really good stories.

On the second day, we make a lot of fame. I have a note in my journal saying, “Recorded our last CW match of the night for insurance.” Make of that what you will. We also simuldrop tier tens. Two games prove to me that I should never, ever play with these chucklefucks in pub games because they are the CHAIest of Snipers.

First game, on Karelia. WorldWideHavoc camps E0 on Karelia, in a Foch 155, and fails to stop their team going up the donut. He never moves. We lose donut and we lose the game badly, but at least he farmed his damage.

Second game, we get Westfield southwest spawn. Santosair in a Batchat rushes K0, and sits there….for 12 minutes. We eventually win the northwest area after an extreme struggle since we’re down a tier 10 autoloader, and Santo eventually rushes in an gets a clip off on their E0 campers, ending the game around 3500 damage. 12 minutes in a Batchat, 3500 damage? Unacceptable.

Santosair teamspeak quotes: "play your own game and I'll play mine yo" "yeah that's why you're dead and I'm not"

Day 3 - CHAII wanted to draw with us, instead we brawled in the bowl on Mountain Pass and won. They did not understand how fame points work.

We go into a battle on Karelia against RS, playing normally. They charge middle - we bring it to 14-4, and then...everyone panics, thinking it was a thrown game. So they spend 11 minutes letting the last tank live while trying to contact to RS, and apparently yeah Jonny, the commander, made a deal with RS and didn't tell anyone before logging off for the night. Whoops! Listening to this happen in teamspeak was incredible.

Day 4 - Joined channel while they were waiting on a rigged game with REL-3. They were complaining about two dudes leaving overnight, when we were just struggling to get enough fights for all the people. I join the channel without anyone noticing, and Jonny says to make sure to not leave the clan just because Chillsau yelled at you.

I was calling a battle. I kept taking Santosair out because I did not want a Type 64. He kept putting himself back in, and taking me out. “This should be fun” I wrote in my notes. Gotta love people sabotaging the caller while being too lazy to get the correct tanks. I don’t flip out over this, and no one bothers telling Santo to knock that poo poo off.

Second hand report. They tried to CAPFAST against -G- when -G- was in Murovanka Forest, and had a 304. It didn't work. They think they almost beat -g-, since it was 1 v 3 at the end, when they were actually just getting farmed for damage and fame.

Day 5 – I called on Mountain Pass against -G-. We beat them. Their caller hosed up severely and it was extremely obvious even from our end. <1>
….and then we beat them again on Murovanka to split their territory and take their HQ. Welp. <2>

Day 6 - Lost a close game against TANG on Mountain Pass due to a cascade of errors and poor play. Usual fire and brimstone berating happened afterwards. “I should go easier on them, since it wasn't nearly as bad as the VOLT or CRABS losses.” I’m glad I didn’t, in retrospect.

Day 7 and 8 – I didn’t play. I had more than enough fame, so I let other people get some points.

Day 9 – Here’s what I wrote in my journal: “Had people calling over me. No more calling.” It must have been really bad since that’s all I wrote that day.

Day 10 – Kicked from the clan while I was logged on, and without any prior notice.

Chillsau (12:16:35 AM) rude
Chillsau (12:16:39 AM) super rude
Chillsau (12:16:44 AM) the rudest dude
Johnyblood (12:17:18 AM) Was looking for you in ts.
Johnyblood (12:17:22 AM) Not gonna work
Chillsau (12:17:28 AM) super rude
Johnyblood (12:17:33 AM) your too hostile and it could cost me my clan.
Johnyblood (12:17:38 AM) Sorry how it worked out.
Chillsau (12:17:40 AM) welp rip
Johnyblood (12:17:44 AM) lates

Can't really argue with that. I had like 55k fame after leaving. It ended up being that 3000th place was 85,914 points, so I was really far ahead and still had two more stages. Plenty of time to collect more stories with other clans. Stay tuned, IOC is next and oh boy it's a good one. Possibly better than VOLT.

Quotes:

Deathtaz - "if you platoon a T-34-1, an M41 Walker Bulldog, and a JT88 together, the JT88 will dictate the matchmaking due to being the highest tier, and the platoon will never see tier 10s"

Deathtax - "loving BADGR is all buddy-buddy with wargaming, they get better RNG"

Deathtaz also whines more than Rossmum about lucky poo poo.

Deathtaz - "I get good matchmaking with the tiers, but poo poo matchmaking with the teams."
Dr.Merc - "But we have the better team, I think."
Deathtaz - "Well I don't run XVM."

---

<22:59:37> "MrMysterious" pokes you: Hey bro, where'd you come here from, you were on my ignore list lol
<22:59:51> "Chillsau": that's a shame
<23:00:06> "MrMysterious": Yeah, no idea man
<23:00:10> "Chillsau": I may have been singing in allchat
<23:01:37> "MrMysterious": Who knows, my ignore list is pretty long, could have been anything
<23:01:49> "Chillsau": Welp be sure to left click enemy tanks
<23:02:22> "MrMysterious": No doubt

---

<22:48:29> "Lynx" pokes you: hey chillsau. i was wondering about the m60code that johny said?
<22:48:43> "Chillsau": M60 codes expired in July brother, sorry
<22:49:07> "Lynx": awwww :(
<22:49:40> "Lynx": anyway thank you so much bro .. cheers :)

---

<1>

spicyninja09 (9:41:01 PM) :DDDD
spicyninja09 (9:41:04 PM) DOWN GOES GGGGGGGGG :D
LETS_DO_THIS (9:41:17 PM) not -G-ood enough
spicyninja09 (9:41:29 PM) lol
Johnyblood (9:42:33 PM) And this is why we tolerate... err umm I mean love hellsau
Xarab (9:43:38 PM) Holy poo poo. we beat -g- ? :O
Xarab (9:43:45 PM) GW GUYS
scorro (9:45:14 PM) Congrats on the win gents

---

<2>

Chillsau (10:58:56 PM) hey what's going on
Chillsau (10:59:06 PM) why are you guys losing to roxy
Chillsau (10:59:13 PM) I'm trying to kill a clan here
donkeyhotay (11:09:33 PM) we are playing very badly
Chillsau (11:09:39 PM) :3
donkeyhotay (11:09:40 PM) not sure why tbh
donkeyhotay (11:10:04 PM) also why the eff are you in roxy
Chillsau (11:10:10 PM) It's hilarious here
Chillsau (11:10:13 PM) They're so bad
Chillsau (11:10:20 PM) I'll have a big post after the campaign

The Southern Dandy
Jun 15, 2010

ASK ME ABOUT MY RADLEY-WALTERS' MEDAL

Is that medal for being the most intolerable poster in a thread about Warhammer 40.000 novels? Because if it is, you sure blew the competition out of the water, son.

Hellsau posted:

Well then, this is a long time coming. Sit down and gather ‘round children, and let me tell you the tale of:

Hellsau’s Campaign of Terror 3: Clan

Prologue:

So, some background. For the first campaign, I was in PURPL, but I left before the campaign began. I then chose to join VOLT, who were one of the leaders of the campaign’s Stage 2. I got my M60 and a great goddamn story. They were super duper incompetent and it was glorious.

So Campaign 2 rolls around, and Fame Points come out. I can get the tank just by playing? Sweet! So I join UGKB. I was hoping for another complete disaster like VOLT, but I was extremely disappointed. UGKB were an insanely good clan – they had callers who prepared beforehand, the players actually listened to the caller, and there was no drama. Just one problem – no one could shoot tanks. The players were straight up bad. So I left, joined NTR, they did a bunch of the missions which effectively invalidated the individual fame points, and got my VK7201. NTR ended up basically dying a few months before the third Campaign (like eight people online at prime time) so I left.

When the details about Campaign 3 came out, it seemed much better than Campaign 2. There were no longer any bizarre missions that gave out vast numbers of fame points, so it seemed like you could just play wherever and get the tank if you put in the work. Note – I will be spoilering certain things. If you know how hard it was to get battles/fame in the campaign, you know why I have to spoiler. Pushedback joined ROXY, and they seemed just the right kind of clan to join if I wanted a good story. They did not disappoint.

Chapter 1: ROXY

I have a LOT of choice quotes from people in ROXY. I’ll just post them all at the end of this chapter, otherwise they’d break up the flow. One thing you all should know is that ROXY is some sort of subclan of CHAI, and it shows.

Before the campaign started, I platooned with Charles Martel The Hammer and someone else who wanted to join ROXY. Charles has been told by someone that I’m a good caller. Someone is a god damned liar. Never let Hellsau call.

Anyway, the Campaign starts. It goes adequate. I hear secondhand that apparently one Cromwell held off 5 ROXYs on Abbey. That’s a good sign – extreme cowardice like that leads to really good stories.

On the second day, we make a lot of fame. I have a note in my journal saying, “Recorded our last CW match of the night for insurance.” Make of that what you will. We also simuldrop tier tens. Two games prove to me that I should never, ever play with these chucklefucks in pub games because they are the CHAIest of Snipers.

First game, on Karelia. WorldWideHavoc camps E0 on Karelia, in a Foch 155, and fails to stop their team going up the donut. He never moves. We lose donut and we lose the game badly, but at least he farmed his damage.

Second game, we get Westfield southwest spawn. Santosair in a Batchat rushes K0, and sits there….for 12 minutes. We eventually win the northwest area after an extreme struggle since we’re down a tier 10 autoloader, and Santo eventually rushes in an gets a clip off on their E0 campers, ending the game around 3500 damage. 12 minutes in a Batchat, 3500 damage? Unacceptable.

Santosair teamspeak quotes: "play your own game and I'll play mine yo" "yeah that's why you're dead and I'm not"

Day 3 - CHAII wanted to draw with us, instead we brawled in the bowl on Mountain Pass and won. They did not understand how fame points work.

We go into a battle on Karelia against RS, playing normally. They charge middle - we bring it to 14-4, and then...everyone panics, thinking it was a thrown game. So they spend 11 minutes letting the last tank live while trying to contact to RS, and apparently yeah Jonny, the commander, made a deal with RS and didn't tell anyone before logging off for the night. Whoops! Listening to this happen in teamspeak was incredible.

Day 4 - Joined channel while they were waiting on a rigged game with REL-3. They were complaining about two dudes leaving overnight, when we were just struggling to get enough fights for all the people. I join the channel without anyone noticing, and Jonny says to make sure to not leave the clan just because Chillsau yelled at you.

I was calling a battle. I kept taking Santosair out because I did not want a Type 64. He kept putting himself back in, and taking me out. “This should be fun” I wrote in my notes. Gotta love people sabotaging the caller while being too lazy to get the correct tanks. I don’t flip out over this, and no one bothers telling Santo to knock that poo poo off.

Second hand report. They tried to CAPFAST against -G- when -G- was in Murovanka Forest, and had a 304. It didn't work. They think they almost beat -g-, since it was 1 v 3 at the end, when they were actually just getting farmed for damage and fame.

Day 5 – I called on Mountain Pass against -G-. We beat them. Their caller hosed up severely and it was extremely obvious even from our end. <1>
….and then we beat them again on Murovanka to split their territory and take their HQ. Welp. <2>

Day 6 - Lost a close game against TANG on Mountain Pass due to a cascade of errors and poor play. Usual fire and brimstone berating happened afterwards. “I should go easier on them, since it wasn't nearly as bad as the VOLT or CRABS losses.” I’m glad I didn’t, in retrospect.

Day 7 and 8 – I didn’t play. I had more than enough fame, so I let other people get some points.

Day 9 – Here’s what I wrote in my journal: “Had people calling over me. No more calling.” It must have been really bad since that’s all I wrote that day.

Day 10 – Kicked from the clan while I was logged on, and without any prior notice.

Chillsau (12:16:35 AM) rude
Chillsau (12:16:39 AM) super rude
Chillsau (12:16:44 AM) the rudest dude
Johnyblood (12:17:18 AM) Was looking for you in ts.
Johnyblood (12:17:22 AM) Not gonna work
Chillsau (12:17:28 AM) super rude
Johnyblood (12:17:33 AM) your too hostile and it could cost me my clan.
Johnyblood (12:17:38 AM) Sorry how it worked out.
Chillsau (12:17:40 AM) welp rip
Johnyblood (12:17:44 AM) lates

Can't really argue with that. I had like 55k fame after leaving. It ended up being that 3000th place was 85,914 points, so I was really far ahead and still had two more stages. Plenty of time to collect more stories with other clans. Stay tuned, IOC is next and oh boy it's a good one. Possibly better than VOLT.

Quotes:

Deathtaz - "if you platoon a T-34-1, an M41 Walker Bulldog, and a JT88 together, the JT88 will dictate the matchmaking due to being the highest tier, and the platoon will never see tier 10s"

Deathtax - "loving BADGR is all buddy-buddy with wargaming, they get better RNG"

Deathtaz also whines more than Rossmum about lucky poo poo.

Deathtaz - "I get good matchmaking with the tiers, but poo poo matchmaking with the teams."
Dr.Merc - "But we have the better team, I think."
Deathtaz - "Well I don't run XVM."

---

<22:59:37> "MrMysterious" pokes you: Hey bro, where'd you come here from, you were on my ignore list lol
<22:59:51> "Chillsau": that's a shame
<23:00:06> "MrMysterious": Yeah, no idea man
<23:00:10> "Chillsau": I may have been singing in allchat
<23:01:37> "MrMysterious": Who knows, my ignore list is pretty long, could have been anything
<23:01:49> "Chillsau": Welp be sure to left click enemy tanks
<23:02:22> "MrMysterious": No doubt

---

<22:48:29> "Lynx" pokes you: hey chillsau. i was wondering about the m60code that johny said?
<22:48:43> "Chillsau": M60 codes expired in July brother, sorry
<22:49:07> "Lynx": awwww :(
<22:49:40> "Lynx": anyway thank you so much bro .. cheers :)

---

<1>

spicyninja09 (9:41:01 PM) :DDDD
spicyninja09 (9:41:04 PM) DOWN GOES GGGGGGGGG :D
LETS_DO_THIS (9:41:17 PM) not -G-ood enough
spicyninja09 (9:41:29 PM) lol
Johnyblood (9:42:33 PM) And this is why we tolerate... err umm I mean love hellsau
Xarab (9:43:38 PM) Holy poo poo. we beat -g- ? :O
Xarab (9:43:45 PM) GW GUYS
scorro (9:45:14 PM) Congrats on the win gents

---

<2>

Chillsau (10:58:56 PM) hey what's going on
Chillsau (10:59:06 PM) why are you guys losing to roxy
Chillsau (10:59:13 PM) I'm trying to kill a clan here
donkeyhotay (11:09:33 PM) we are playing very badly
Chillsau (11:09:39 PM) :3
donkeyhotay (11:09:40 PM) not sure why tbh
donkeyhotay (11:10:04 PM) also why the eff are you in roxy
Chillsau (11:10:10 PM) It's hilarious here
Chillsau (11:10:13 PM) They're so bad
Chillsau (11:10:20 PM) I'll have a big post after the campaign

Here we see the wild Hellsau in his natural environment

DonkeyHotay
Jun 6, 2005

God we sucked at the tier 6 stage. Nobody has any armor or hp and we never were able to really adjust to it.

Mesadoram
Nov 4, 2009

Serious Business

DonkeyHotay posted:

God we sucked at the tier 6 stage. Nobody has any armor or hp and we never were able to really adjust to it.

T6 was DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA all the time. It was kind of crazy and surprisingly stressful.

primelaw
Apr 4, 2012

The most southern dandy robot judge

Mesadoram posted:

T6 was DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA all the time. It was kind of crazy and surprisingly stressful.

Playing nothing but T37s or other lights was amazing :allears:

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.
Chapter 2: IOC

Every good story starts with a beautiful coincidence. I was recruited into IOC through a random team battle. Truly beautiful. By the way I openly refused to call.

Day 1 - I joined sometime during the second stage of the campaign. Before that though, we had strongholds! Bond100 starts stronghold defense, and then disconnects, leaving everyone else panicking. Apparently he's done this before, and also was AFK in a clan wars fight before. Good stuff. I was really optimistic at this point.

Our Province CW strat against RELIC included two RBWTs, a JT88, a T34, and no autoloaders. We drew. RELIC brought several autoloaders, which crushed our team, forcing us to camp.

Day 2 - Cliff match, north spawn, Lestat calling. We spotted 7 autoloading tanks go down 1 line in west, lost our STA spotting there, and kept our two 1390s on the donut. Those two 1390s got focused and wrecked. The rest of our team stayed in middle so we lost pretty badly. Lestat complains that we didn't have enough 1390s to win donut. I had readied up a 1390 and was not chosen until I switched to the Pershing. So we lost the donut and...made no effort to win. We had like 3 autoloaders. Lestat complained that they won simply because they brought more autoloaders.Note - we had several people with 50100s readied up, and more people in the battle who had an autoloader but were asked to choose something else.

Redshire match. Enemy team wins 1 line and center, Lestat gets oneshot by the enemy arti. We almost draw, but we cap with 3 seconds left because the JP2 bounces a 416 twice. Better lucky than good.

Day 3 - Extremely poor play on Steppes loses us a LZ defense against FGTVE. Extremely poor play would have lost us an encounter fight against -RGA-, except they had two camping T34s and were missing two other tanks. Lucky to barely win a 15v11. We played well to beat MGL-A on the second encounter. I have those three notes and then this: “And then everyone starts patting ourselves on the back.” IOC has some high goddamn standards for themselves – they beat [url= http://wotlabs.net/na/clan/-rga- ]–RGA-[/url] and MGL-A, two of the best clans in the game. Why shouldn’t we congratulate ourselves for defeating such haughty opposition?

Day 4 - Took the night off basically. We lost to PL1AD (apparently to cap) and to STUMU (lol). Krugg_Krell got kicked. Or maybe he left. Definitely one or both of those. I never did figure out which it was.

Day 5 - We lost on Abbey to [MYTH_]. We sent 3 1390s into the abbey (I was the only one with food), they sent 3 1390s and a WZ132. I was focused down before the others were loaded, and then they were focused down next. The rest of our tanks were camping in west, made zero effort to reposition, and we got capped out.

Our entire strat relied on holding the abbey. The enemy strat relied on holding the abbey in order to prevent crossfire and easy resets. We did not properly support the middle, so we lost. Our caller started belittling the enemy clan for their "gimmick strat". Okay, so that's not a gimmick strat. We were loving camping the west. What did he expect, for the enemy clan to be eHonourable and peek and poke themselves to death on our camp? No, the way to beat that is to gain map control, and cap out. They had the tanks, they had the strat, and they got the win. God forbid you tell Lestat_Sik that. "It was a gimmick strat" "We always won with that strat in RELIC" "They're shitters." I took issue with Lestat belittling a team that soundly trounced us, and let him know that just calling an enemy team shitters and calling their strat a gimmick strat does not redeem you for playing bad and losing to those "shitters."

I received a private message afterwards:
BumbleFlumpkin (10:43:46 PM) agreed, but certain people in this clan cannot make mistakes....

And then I was kicked. I finally found a clan less competent than VOLT. God that felt good. I was at 87k fame after leaving, so I felt pretty drat good and could go anywhere. Anywhere at all…

DonkeyHotay
Jun 6, 2005

Mesadoram posted:

T6 was DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA all the time. It was kind of crazy and surprisingly stressful.

I'm still convinced that a team of HE 34-85s would have absolutely buttfucked the t37 rush meta so hard but none of our callers was willing to try it.

rex rabidorum vires
Mar 26, 2007

KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN
I'm sad I missed that massive convoy you guys landed :( otherwise yea chai snipers and guys that think they are good because they can pad a 57% wr in the t67 think they are hot poo poo. Missed out on the Johnny reasoning for kicking you...think one of the other callers was cranky or something.

rex rabidorum vires fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Feb 26, 2015

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Mesadoram
Nov 4, 2009

Serious Business

primelaw posted:

Playing nothing but T37s or other lights was amazing :allears:

Oh boy it was.
"Where should we go?"
"That way, all of you."

You should come back, we are down a few tankers!


DonkeyHotay posted:

I'm still convinced that a team of HE 34-85s would have absolutely buttfucked the t37 rush meta so hard but none of our callers was willing to try it.

I am not sure, that T37 DPM is pretty loving brutal.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply