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Reverse Centaur posted:This is the very top thing on reddit's front page right now. Title: I saw my hero this weekend. i guess if it's like, a lovely rundown diner or the chef owns the restaurant otherwise hed be fired as soon as possible, if only to avoid the inevitable lawsuit
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Feb 28, 2015 04:37
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Reverse Centaur posted:This is the very top thing on reddit's front page right now. Title: I saw my hero this weekend. I'll admit, I know of a couple of restraunts that have a "we're going to treat you like poo poo, get over it pussy" type gimmick, but I doubt any of them would actually go this far.
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Feb 28, 2015 04:53
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If you squint, you can see the witch hat on the girl in the back in the bottom picture.
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Feb 28, 2015 05:14
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Bobby Digital posted:You told a strange man to shoot it in your rear end? To be fair, that's a phrase that he uses every day in the park restrooms. He's used to saying it. It's automatic by now.
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Feb 28, 2015 05:19
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Does his butt say "horny butts"
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Feb 28, 2015 05:48
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Drunk Tomato posted:Does his butt say "horny butts" Probably 'morphsuits'
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Feb 28, 2015 07:15
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it's probably one of those things where if you dress as whoever you're presenting on you get extra points, which is just as sad, because it means he's doing a presentation on sonic the hedgehog.
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Feb 28, 2015 07:26
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"no one knows his name"
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Feb 28, 2015 07:30
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TrekBek posted:it's probably one of those things where if you dress as whoever you're presenting on you get extra points, which is just as sad, because it means he's doing a presentation on sonic the hedgehog. They had things like that at the local high school, where the kids were supposed to dress like the thing they wanted to be. My niece went as a scientist. Obviously this guy has a different career goal in mind.
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Feb 28, 2015 07:42
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TrekBek posted:it's probably one of those things where if you dress as whoever you're presenting on you get extra points, which is just as sad, because it means he's doing a presentation on sonic the hedgehog.
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Feb 28, 2015 09:12
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 Signed, Corporal rear end in a top hat
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Feb 28, 2015 11:34
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reformed bad troll posted:
We should thank him for serving in the American Revolutionary War.
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Feb 28, 2015 11:49
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reformed bad troll posted:
Don't you talk that way to the man who saved us from the Spiderians of Tarantulon 6.
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Feb 28, 2015 12:06
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reformed bad troll posted:
This might have been signed by the dude from American Sniper though.
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Feb 28, 2015 13:13
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Thinky Whale posted:Don't you talk that way to the man who saved us from the Spiderians of Tarantulon 6. Perfect
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Feb 28, 2015 13:37
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From a Fark thread on a homeowner who discovered that the walls of their house were stuffed with mummified animals in ancient newspaper About a decade ago, some friends of mine bought a Coloniel-era house, in the sleepy little town of Delaware City. One night, after they had been living there for a couple of months, the husband was sitting in the den watching TV when the lamp in the room suddenly switched off with a very solid *THUNK* noise. Upon fetching a flashlight and investigating the sound, he discovered the the electrical socket which the lamp had been plugged into, wall plate and all, had fallen out of the wall. The electrical feed wires that the socket was hooked to were only three inches long, and had come out with it. A shine of his flashlight into the hole revealed a second electrical socket, in a second wall about three inches back from what he had assumed was the actual wall. The surface-mounted (fake) electircal socket that the lamp had been plugged into had it's wall plate screwed to it, was firction-fit into the hole, and the two bare wires had been jammed into the slots in the socket underneath to complete the circuit. Plugging the lamp in had overbalanced it until the socket, wires and all just fell out. So, out come the crowbars, and they start tearing the wall down to see what's back there. He decides, he should really check those ancient wires that the fake plate had been plugged into, so he starts hacking away at the ancient plaster wall underneath, and he eventually hits wood. Fine wood. So they go around to the other side of the wall, which is in the living room, and they start taking the wall down there, too. And underneath, they find that at some point, someone who owned the house had just walled over an entire cabinet and shelves. The whole house was lousy with fake walls nailed up overtop the real walls. They eventually uncovered doorways, and even a fireplace, all of which had been just walled-over and forgotten.
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Feb 28, 2015 14:03
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kizudarake posted:From a Fark thread on a homeowner who discovered that the walls of their house were stuffed with mummified animals in ancient newspaper To be fair my friends just bought a house and discovered (also through a fake electrical socket) that their downstairs had wood walls that were completely covered over by about 3 inches of drywall, but... not nice wood and fireplaces and poo poo. Just crappy '70s style paneling. I would maybe have doubted it but I saw it, and it was hilarious.
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Feb 28, 2015 15:13
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Feb 28, 2015 15:28
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hallo spacedog posted:To be fair my friends just bought a house and discovered (also through a fake electrical socket) that their downstairs had wood walls that were completely covered over by about 3 inches of drywall, but... not nice wood and fireplaces and poo poo. Just crappy '70s style paneling. I could see someone lazy covering paneling with drywall, but everything behind the drywall in that story? That'd make for thick loving walls that would make rooms noticeably too small.
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Feb 28, 2015 15:31
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I hate the meme format, but...ummm...it's happened to me. And it was very embarrassing for about ten seconds before it became hilarious. I can't prove it, so go ahead and consider this STDH if you like. And also consider this: NAR posted:Needs To Get That Chip Off Their Shoulder Man, I wish I had the free time and money to be going around to every jewelry store in town and buying poo poo just to check whether that random employee was following policy that day!
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Feb 28, 2015 16:06
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It turned out he was buying the bracelet for me and we've been dating ever since!
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Feb 28, 2015 20:56
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From the funny pics thread:beato posted:I have a tale about that. A friend of a friend was gonna get married. One evening the young couple were talking about fetishes and he mentioned scat porn and that it was something he'd never seen in reality but found the idea really kinky. Not sure why, but his wife-to-be actually agreed to squat on a glass coffee table and poo poo while he wanked underneath. Apparently this is how it went down... She got on the table did a fart and a waterfall of green diarrhoea followed it, it seeped over the edges and on to him and the carpet, he was so disgusted he vomited and called the wedding off. Zamboni_Rodeo posted:I would say something about this sounding like STDH, but, well...
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Feb 28, 2015 21:16
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The best part is the implication of the guy being like "I'm into scat, but not the nasty kind, c'mon guys." STDH nonwithstanding. (Again I guess another addition to the pile of "Not-just-STDH-but-why-would-you-even-lie-about-that" category)
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Feb 28, 2015 22:32
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reformed bad troll posted:
Does that say Z(app) Brannigan?
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Mar 1, 2015 03:33
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Thinky Whale posted:Don't you talk that way to the man who saved us from the Spiderians of Tarantulon 6. That was me, rear end in a top hat. And when I came back, did anyone stand up and applaud? Did I get married? No. Everyone spit on me and called me a "buggykiller."
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Mar 1, 2015 03:35
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Boris Galerkin posted:Does that say Z(app) Brannigan? In fact that actually sounds like a quote maybe he said in one episode once?
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Mar 1, 2015 03:56
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Furthermore the image is cropped so we can't see if it is the "merchant copy" or the "customer copy"! My friends I hate to alarm you but I think this may not be real but some kind of... Joke!
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Mar 1, 2015 04:38
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Huntersoninski posted:Furthermore the image is cropped so we can't see if it is the "merchant copy" or the "customer copy"! My friends I hate to alarm you but I think this may not be real but some kind of... Joke! You mean... Someone posted something on the shit_that_didnt_happen thread that might not have Actually happened?
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Mar 1, 2015 04:42
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I can't think of anywhere I buy poo poo that has a customer copy receipt with a sig line.
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Mar 1, 2015 04:46
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phosdex posted:I can't think of anywhere I buy poo poo that has a customer copy receipt with a sig line. The majority of your chain restaurants. Specifically those that use Aloha POS systems. Others may also, but Aloha for sure does. Edit: POS = Point of Sale, not "piece of poo poo," although Aloha does suck rear end in a top hat as a system in general.
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Mar 1, 2015 04:58
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hallo spacedog posted:To be fair my friends just bought a house and discovered (also through a fake electrical socket) that their downstairs had wood walls that were completely covered over by about 3 inches of drywall, but... not nice wood and fireplaces and poo poo. Just crappy '70s style paneling. bringmyfishback posted:Man, I wish I had the free time and money to be going around to every jewelry store in town and buying poo poo just to check whether that random employee was following policy that day!
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Mar 1, 2015 07:48
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kizudarake posted:I could see someone lazy covering paneling with drywall, but everything behind the drywall in that story? That'd make for thick loving walls that would make rooms noticeably too small. Many older homes have all kinds of built-ins. Some people just drywall over those. I always rage when the people on the house hunting shows casually suggest ripping those out of otherwise pristine craftsman houses. Speaking of raging... quote:Didn’t Make New Calendar Year Resolution
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Mar 1, 2015 08:04
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Customer: No! No! I've become a character in a STDH internet story! How embarassing! Are you writing this down? Stop writing!
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Mar 1, 2015 08:24
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Man, I sure am glad they spent half the story setting up that the hero is/was sick. What a payoff at the end on that detail!
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Mar 1, 2015 08:59
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I think even if you'd try to write the most stilted speech ever, you'd never manage to be even nearly as unnatural as stdh speak. (!)
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Mar 1, 2015 09:46
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I sincerely thought it was going to wind up with the protagionist saying she had something highly contagious like swine flu and him turning white as a sheet before fleeing.
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Mar 1, 2015 10:15
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What would actually happen in real world: "I want to talk to the manager" "He's not here" The End
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Mar 1, 2015 11:50
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Found by our great friend Bismuth:
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Mar 1, 2015 13:17
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bringmyfishback posted:And also consider this: Now I don't really give a poo poo either way, if someone asks for my ID I don't care really. But isn't it against the merchant policies or whatever with visa and mastercard to require ID, and it's a thing the card companies actually try to enforce? Like they can ask for it but if they don't have it you can't deny them the sale? I remember this being a big issue at my university with the stores on campus, and the school newspaper ran a big thing on it.
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Mar 1, 2015 13:18
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BrainDance posted:...isn't it against the merchant policies or whatever with visa and mastercard to require ID, and it's a thing the card companies actually try to enforce? Like they can ask for it but if they don't have it you can't deny them the sale? http://www.in.gov/dfi/id.pdf "When you pay for merchandise with a Visa card, MasterCard, or American Express any store that accepts these cards should accept yours too, no questions asked. It's part of the deal that merchants agree to when they become participating members. They must check your signature and the card - electronically or by telephone - to be sure it's valid. Once the answer comes up yes, they can go ahead and charge. They can't ask you for any further identification - not a license plate number, Social Security number, proof of address, phone number or picture ID. Your personal ID isn't needed because Visa, MasterCard, and American Express all guarantee payment on cards that have been properly checked. If the issuer mistakenly authorizes a sale on a bad card, it should make good. MasterCard says that merchants receive instant settlement. You can be asked for ID only if you proffer a card that isn't signed on the back. Then the merchant can ask for identification and require you to sign the card immediately. A merchant can ask for your address when you order by telephone. There it's used to authorize the card, absent a signature.
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Mar 1, 2015 13:42
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