Sham bam bamina! posted:

It's a child of the Clinton administration, though.

(God, this place is old.)

The Real Foogla posted:

or better: the Planet Quake administration

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

As someone who works in the print industry, I can honestly say that doing serious page and text layouts in Photoshop kills puppies and makes baby Jesus cry.

Raserys posted:

I've been looking for a thread that had some of my favorite quotes, it was a posting battle on what I think was BYOB from years ago. One of them had an avatar that looked like a clay jester and I vaguely remember some unfunny guy trying to interrupt the battle only to get burned. Any ideas?

kalstrams posted:

now this is story all about how

my life is flip, turn upside down

and I would like to take a minute, just let me talk

I tell you how I bekome intern of plake kall Gulag

in northeastern Latvia born and raise

doing labor was how I spend most of my day

Farming, not relaxing, plowing in my slaks, hallukinate of malnourish outside kommunal shak

when a kouple of guys who are fight over food

start attrakt attenshun in my neighborhood

I witness one little fight, dauttir rape, son is flogged

They say "you're moving with extended family to Gulag"

they order for a kab and when it kome near

likense plate say Stalin and have scythe in the mirror

they beat me real hard, to the face 20 slogs

Politburo finish, say "take off to Gulag!"

I pull up to kamp, say "wasn't me, it was neighbor!"

And kabby yell back "ten years of hard labor!"

Look at my prison, I kant brethe bekause smog

As I markh down to prokessing room in Gulag

Augster posted:

Can't be anything other than the incredible infrateal vs heebie-gbs thread from LF

Infrateal posted:

heebie-gbs factsheet:

fat
gay
ugly
smell like a ballsack made of french fries
uglgay
has sex with chickens
got a chicken pregnant
hard-boiled his son
tiny dick
lost a fight to a breeze
fist-pumps whenever he farts
names his farts
is sad when his farts dissipate
still mourns Alice
browses SA with the cuss filter on. gently caress you

Infrateal posted:

GOD im so SICK OF THIS BULL SHIZZLE i hate my BITCH DAD i hate my gAY LIFE i hate.. .i hate the HOLE loving WORLD. Alllll i want to do right now is listen to some HARD loving METAL

*cd changer noise*

heebie-gbs (from inside stereo): eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! eee! saaataan! satan or whatever! eeee!

what the gently caress is this poo poo

heebie-gbs (from inside stereo): eee! do you beeelieeeeve in life after love? eeeeee

quote:

Infrateal: my verse, much like my ballsack, dangles free as the wind

heebie-gbs: the wind, like my ballsack, caresses your face

Infrateal: my ballsack, unlike your face, has been caressed by something other than wind

heebie-gbs: my wind, unlike your ballsack, has never broken loudly in public to the horror of everyone around me

quote:

speaking of advertisements for casual encounters, remember that time you wore a GLOMP ME shirt to an anime convention and walked around all day inside an impregnable bubble of personal space

quote:

in world war I primitive tanks carried bundles of sticks on the front of their hulls which they dropped into trenches so they could cross them and the term for these objects is "fascines" but they could also be termed "enormous faggots" and basically if a wwI tank ever goes to mars and needs to cross the Valles Marineris it should strap heebie-gbs to the front of its hull

quote:

when curtis lemay ordered his b-29s to switch tactics from precision daylight bombing with concussion bombs to nightime carpetbombing with leaflets bearing heebie-gbs posts the crews mutinied, claiming the order represented "soulless, vacuous depravity." only after he changed the munitions loadout to white phosphorous and napalm did they obey orders

Windows 98 posted:

Gnarly, I was semi serious though about what I said earlier. I mean I roll with the punches and all, this is a comedy forum so I am not butthurt that I am on there. I guess I was just curious what exactly about my posting is so lovely. As I said before, I will 100% give you that my life decisions are unbelievably mockable and I am a giant goon of a human being. But aside from one thread that turned into a poo poo storm of over sharing about my life, I don't really think my posts are all that bad. I suppose you could say I am permanently branded by that thread. But honestly other than some poo poo posting I don't really see my posts as that obnoxious. If you disagree, let me know exactly what I am doing that seems to be sitting sideways with the rest of the forum. And I mean that sincerely. I like posting on SA, and if real constructive criticism about my posting can be given then I will try to make changes to be more of a tolerable person. And I mean constructive. Even though I already know people will be quoting this just to call me gay and poo poo post. I roll with the punches and take the mocking like a man. But I kind of assumed that was a lot of people just poo poo posting for the sake of an easy joke or an easy insult. I didn't realize people were truly annoyed by my posts.

Whatever. Not to be all melodramatic about it. But I like being a member here and it kind of sucks to be thought of as an outcast. I'd rather change how I post than continue on being the butt of every joke in every thread.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

That's the guy who beat someone with a shovel and killed a woman with his car, actually.

lord funk posted:

Yeah you really want to go with Microsoft Word for everything ever. All of the computer. Forever.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Avenging_Mikon posted:

What. I thought car killer was in jail?

Windows 98 posted:

Windows 98 posted:

I said I would explain why I got it, so. To put it very shortly. As mentioned before 2014 was my rock bottom. Had my best friend from elementary school loving my (now ex) girlfriend behind my back. Had to move home because he was my loving roommate. A different roommate knew and didnt tell me, and that friendship ended which also ended my music career (which if I am being honest was going very very well. Like, thousands of copies sold well). I couldn't go back to school due to a restraining order that SHE got on me because she went to the same school, but I had already enrolled so now I'm in debt thousands of dollars. I have had 2 court cases in one year. one involving me beating a kid with a shovel which was assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Then recently I was charged with 3 more counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and felony reckless driving. I won't discuss the cases in detail but let's just say it sucks. I am in debt to my family nearly $8,000 in lawyers fees as well as thousands in restitution fees and probation fees. I lost my license indefinitely and totaled my car. I lost my job, because I needed my car to do my job (I have since thankfully gotten a much better job). And to be sincere, that is the tip of my iceberg of problems that happened in 2014 alone.


Ultimately I got it to remind myself that since then I have made great strides in my life to improve it. I got in therapy, put on proper medication, went through a 3 month long anger management course, got a better job, started working out, and dropped all my bad friends and have started to make new better ones, quit smoking. I want to look at it and remind myself that 2014 was the worst possible version of myself, and that every day forward is a day I can improve myself and be better than the 2014 version of me. Which was easily my rock bottom. Every day I can't ignore the fact that I have to be a better person than I once was. And also never to forget the things that did happen to me. Because as lovely as they are, those things are what brought me to the point where I actually turned my life around. Without them I still would probably be a half assed shmuck who isn't interested in being the best possible version of myself.

/endrant


Continue mocking me for my terrible decisions

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Has it already been quoted? ing anyway.

Haruharuharuko posted:

Wait is he the dude that paid to lose his virginity to a prostitute and asked for advice for a virgin special (to somehow make paying for sex seem less desperate)?

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Afraid not.

kalstrams posted:

now this is story all about how

my life is flip, turn upside down

and I would like to take a minute, just let me talk

I tell you how I bekome intern of plake kall Gulag

in northeastern Latvia born and raise

doing labor was how I spend most of my day

Farming, not relaxing, plowing in my slaks, hallukinate of malnourish outside kommunal shak

when a kouple of guys who are fight over food

start attrakt attenshun in my neighborhood

I witness one little fight, dauttir rape, son is flogged

They say "you're moving with extended family to Gulag"

they order for a kab and when it kome near

likense plate say Stalin and have scythe in the mirror

they beat me real hard, to the face 20 slogs

Politburo finish, say "take off to Gulag!"

I pull up to kamp, say "wasn't me, it was neighbor!"

And kabby yell back "ten years of hard labor!"

Look at my prison, I kant brethe bekause smog

As I markh down to prokessing room in Gulag

Kavak posted:

Yeah, there was a different dude who went to prison for vehicular manslaughter.

Agean90 posted:

I love this forum. We have the guy that killed someone in a vehicle, the guy that killed someone with a vehicle, the guy who hosed a dog, the guy who got hosed by a dog, the guy who went on a shooting rampage, the guy who went on a shooting rampage in Libya, the guy who (etc)

Aphrodite posted:

Don't forget the guy who died in his parked vehicle.

Karate Bastard posted:

And Vilerat

What was that about a concentration camp again?

e:

quote:

[Caro was] Last reported in branch 215. A prison of the Syrian Military Intelligence Directorate. Last seen half fed and asking people to kill him.

quote:

Is now confirmed, as per the mods who followed him during his batshit crazy trek, as having died in a Syrian torture prison.

syscall girl posted:

Or the guy who OD'd on cough medicine. That was last year. His husband made an e/n thread about it.

That was actually pretty sad.

Oh, and people like Wren who died out of cancer.

And the countless legions of diabetes sufferers who don't post in games anymore.

It's not all funny phenzaphem stories and spree killings here.

jaegerx posted:

Don't forget. We are all cia operatives.

Teddybear posted:

Who was the cough syrup guy?

Neddy Seagoon posted:

From the SAclopedia;

cock hero flux posted:

The Caro story is still the most bizarre loving thing to have come out of this place.

Volkerball posted:

He should be headline news in all honesty. Not only is he an American tortured to death by a foreign government, but he was a dude with severe schizophrenia who went to the middle east with intentions on getting involved in a civil war not once, not twice, THREE TIMES, and never found his way onto a no fly list.

Volkerball posted:

He should be headline news in all honesty. Not only is he an American tortured to death by a foreign government, but he was a dude with severe schizophrenia who went to the middle east with intentions on getting involved in a civil war not once, not twice, THREE TIMES, and never found his way onto a no fly list.

ChogsEnhour posted:

The thing to understand with the Cabin In The Woods(CitW) is that the true horror behind it comes from us, the viewer. In a true Marxist fashion the world is brought to an end by a golliath super-power which is a movie stand in for us, the viewers. It's US we're the elder gods and we demand the same trite ritualistiuc murder of horror protagonists. Just like in this film, which then performs the act almost verbaitim which placates us... The viewer. But it's not enough, no, the elder god (red, as in communism) something something feminism.

- CineD