Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Vox Nihili posted:

Well? Can it?

No. The womb acts as a "shield other" spell because vaginas are magical.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 00:45

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# ? May 19, 2024 13:17

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

If it's physical damage that doesn't pass through this, no. I.e. fireball. Bless/curse, sleep, etc - yes (the DM loved the idea of loving us over when casting sleep on a bunch of goblins, but Wait! one goblin is female with a litter of goblins inside her and thus no one else falls asleep, level 1 party will now die)
Fetus is a relevant target once 'quickening' occurs since, after all, this is fantasy middle ages and that's the word they used.
Further exploration of this topic will happen next session, I'm sure.

I'm glad a thread full of lawyers can appreciate this concept.

Lawyers actually make for pretty good D&D players because we reach the edge cases almost immediately and demand a ruling but then, after making argument, accept the ruling and move on

mastershakeman fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Mar 6, 2015

# ? Mar 6, 2015 00:46

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

In utero fetuses are unconscious though! And "[s]leep does not target unconscious creatures, constructs, or undead creatures."

This ruling is a travesty, better get a writ on this DM.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/when-does-consciousness-arise/

# ? Mar 6, 2015 01:13

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

mastershakeman posted:

Lawyers actually make for pretty good D&D players because we reach the edge cases almost immediately and demand a ruling but then, after making argument, accept the ruling and move on

Lawyers make for terrible D&D players because they're constantly pushing the edges and delaying poo poo with half-hour long arguments about the rules, because that is their fetish.

They can make decent GMs if they're creative, though.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 01:21

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

Abugadu posted:

Lawyers make for terrible D&D players because they're constantly pushing the edges and delaying poo poo with half-hour long arguments about the rules, because that is their fetish.

They can make decent GMs if they're creative, though.

See, e.g., my post, supra.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 01:26

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Vox Nihili posted:

In utero fetuses are unconscious though!

The hell they are.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 02:12

Zarkov Cortez: Aug 18, 2007; Alas, our kitten class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs

http://observer.com/2015/03/california-prosecutor-falsifies-transcript-of-confession/

quote:

Kern County prosecutor Robert Murray added two lines of transcript to �evidence� that the defendant confessed to an even more egregious offense than that with which he had been charged�the already hideous offense of molesting a child.

...

Prosecutor Murray had ample time and opportunity to correct his lies and his falsification of the transcript, but instead, he let it go until defense counsel had encouraged his client to plead guilty based on this fabricated evidence. Not until after defense counsel requested the original tape recording from which the transcript was made did Mr. Murray admit that he had added the most incriminating statements to the transcript.

When confronted with the defense�s motion to dismiss the indictment for outrageous prosecutorial misconduct, Mr. Murray claimed his own false alteration of the transcript was �in jest,� a �joke� between two lawyers, and harmless to the defendant. Mr. Murray lobbed in another little bombshell for good measure, swearing that defense counsel had said that the defendant�s defense was �not viable.�

Zarkov Cortez fucked around with this message at 02:18 on Mar 6, 2015

# ? Mar 6, 2015 02:16

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Zarkov Cortez posted:

http://observer.com/2015/03/california-prosecutor-falsifies-transcript-of-confession/

Nothing will happen to anything. Well, he might get promoted. Welcome to Republican California!

That CalFire case cited in there is also amazingly hosed up and the US Attorney did it. They might actually get sanctions because federal court and the wronged party was Sierra Pacific and not some poor black guy.

One of the main reasons I'm getting out of crim here, is I can't stand the prosecutorial misconduct certain people get away with here. Even from the other side, you feel like you're enabling it, no matter how much you yell. Nothing ever happens. California is broken. We're allegedly liberal, but as far as criminal goes we might as well be the deep south.

edit: Holy poo poo, he might get a reprimand!
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/courtDocs/14-O-00412.pdf

nm fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Mar 6, 2015

# ? Mar 6, 2015 02:27

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

What the actual gently caress?????? Who does that? That's just.....

I am absolutely disgusted by that. If that happened here he'd be run out of town. Hell, our prosecutor's bar completely shunned someone just for working out a code with a witness. (Wasn't sure eyewitness could make in court ID. Told witness she would offer her water during direct. If witness took water it means she's ready to make ID) she ended up having to leave the state or spend the rest of her career collecting traffic fines.

I'm just appalled that this could happen. He should be disbarred.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 02:57

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

ActusRhesus posted:

The hell they are.

Invasive experiments in rat and lamb pups and observational studies using ultrasound and electrical recordings in humans show that the third-trimester fetus is almost always in one of two sleep states. Called active and quiet sleep, these states can be distinguished using electroencephalography. Their different EEG signatures go hand in hand with distinct behaviors: breathing, swallowing, licking, and moving the eyes but no large-scale body movements in active sleep; no breathing, no eye movements and tonic muscle activity in quiet sleep. These stages correspond to rapid-eye-movement (REM) and slow-wave sleep common to all mammals. In late gestation the fetus is in one of these two sleep states 95 percent of the time, separated by brief transitions.

What is fascinating is the discovery that the fetus is actively sedated by the low oxygen pressure (equivalent to that at the top of Mount Everest), the warm and cushioned uterine environment and a range of neuroinhibitory and sleep-inducing substances produced by the placenta and the fetus itself: adenosine; two steroidal anesthetics, allopregnanolone and pregnanolone; one potent hormone, prostaglandin D2; and others. The role of the placenta in maintaining sedation is revealed when the umbilical cord is closed off while keeping the fetus adequately supplied with oxygen. The lamb embryo now moves and breathes continuously. From all this evidence, neonatologists conclude that the fetus is asleep while its brain matures.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:00

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Growing a fetus in my uterus suggests to me they are at least occasionally awake.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:03

Hot Dog Day #91: Jun 19, 2003

ActusRhesus posted:

she ended up having to leave the state or spend the rest of her career collecting traffic fines.

Oh word? Didn't know blarzgh used to be a prosecutor in your state.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:07

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

Oh word? Didn't know blarzgh used to be a prosecutor in your state.

First I was a traffic ticket lawyer, now I was a disgraced wood elf lawyer in a past life?

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:09

Zarkov Cortez: Aug 18, 2007; Alas, our kitten class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs

nm posted:

Nothing will happen to anything. Well, he might get promoted. Welcome to Republican California!

That CalFire case cited in there is also amazingly hosed up and the US Attorney did it. They might actually get sanctions because federal court and the wronged party was Sierra Pacific and not some poor black guy.

One of the main reasons I'm getting out of crim here, is I can't stand the prosecutorial misconduct certain people get away with here. Even from the other side, you feel like you're enabling it, no matter how much you yell. Nothing ever happens. California is broken. We're allegedly liberal, but as far as criminal goes we might as well be the deep south.

edit: Holy poo poo, he might get a reprimand!
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/courtDocs/14-O-00412.pdf

Doesn't California have some sort of criminal charge for obstructing justice?

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:09

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

ActusRhesus posted:

Growing a fetus in my uterus suggests to me they are at least occasionally awake.

You kick and stuff in your sleep, sometimes. You can also react to stimulus while unconscious. Anyway, I think the thrust of the study was persuasive (and seems to be the popular stance in the scientific community).

Vox Nihili fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Mar 6, 2015

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:13

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

Also, that prosecutor belongs in prison.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:13

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Zarkov Cortez posted:

Doesn't California have some sort of criminal charge for obstructing justice?

And who would charge him? The Attorney General!
You think it is hard to charge cops? Try prosecutors.

blarzgh posted:

First I was a traffic ticket lawyer, now I was a disgraced wood elf lawyer in a past life?

You're the former because of the latter. get it right.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:16

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Zarkov Cortez posted:

Doesn't California have some sort of criminal charge for obstructing justice?

Only for poors.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:23

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Vox Nihili posted:

Also, that prosecutor belongs in prison.

Also this.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 03:38

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Just a reminder that nothing has happened to the prosecutor who perjured himself in front of a jury to get a man convicted and bolster a snitch's credibility. Despite the 9th Circuit recommending charges, he doesn't even have a state bar charge.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 04:02

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

nm posted:

Just a reminder that nothing has happened to the prosecutor who perjured himself in front of a jury to get a man convicted and bolster a snitch's credibility. Despite the 9th Circuit recommending charges, he doesn't even have a state bar charge.

Gross.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 04:24

Zarkov Cortez: Aug 18, 2007; Alas, our kitten class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs

nm posted:

Just a reminder that nothing has happened to the prosecutor who perjured himself in front of a jury to get a man convicted and bolster a snitch's credibility. Despite the 9th Circuit recommending charges, he doesn't even have a state bar charge.

Presumably he wasn't stupid enough to say "lol jk" on the record though.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 04:25

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

nm posted:

And who would charge him? The Attorney General!
You think it is hard to charge cops? Try prosecutors.

You're the former because of the latter. get it right.

I'm just a small-town pizza lawyer.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 04:47

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

blarzgh posted:

I'm just a small-town pizza lawyer.

This is my dream. Hat and all.

edit: What it takes for a prosecutor to get a reprimand from the bar:
http://www.calbarjournal.com/March2015/TopHeadlines/TH5.aspx

nm fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Mar 6, 2015

# ? Mar 6, 2015 05:01

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Back to scotch chat.
When they started aging my scotch in 1979, my parents hadn't met yet.

edit: This bottle is almost dead and making me sad.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 08:27

echopapa: Jun 2, 2005; El Presidente smiles upon this thread.

mastershakeman posted:

Lawyers actually make for pretty good D&D players because we reach the edge cases almost immediately and demand a ruling but then, after making argument, accept the ruling and move on

Until they demand an appellate DM.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 10:39

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

echopapa posted:

Until they demand an appellate DM.

Interlocutory appeal on issue of whether AOE can hit a fetus with injunction against further damage.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 12:14

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

I remember reading in crim law about the dude that kneed his preggo gal in the stomach a few times in Cali back in the 60s but wasn't able to be charged with homicide because at the time the fetus wasn't considered alive or whatnot.

So, yeah, the fetus definitely can get hit by pretty much everything. Unless there is some kind of magical ward cast by the mother of someone else, someone is getting an abortion.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 13:24

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

This is why I stick with WH40k. In the grim darkness of the far future, f�tuses are grown only in test tubes

# ? Mar 6, 2015 13:57

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

I just play my catlady dressup simulator and that's about it these days.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 13:59

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Perk to being admitted to the supreme court bar, you get a secret address to mail appeals to the d&d supreme court staffed by ginsberg, scalia, and kennedy afterhours.
Strangely scalia is the swing vote.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 19:44

Arcturas: Mar 30, 2011

Kennedy plays a halfling, doesn't he?

# ? Mar 6, 2015 19:47

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Pretty sure Scalia is a dwarf

# ? Mar 6, 2015 19:49

Toona the Cat: Jun 9, 2004; The Greatest

I just got my financial aid letter. I wonder how many people take the maximum offered. :shepspends:

EDIT: My maximum possible debt would be a little over 93K, I'm probably looking at 61,500.

Toona the Cat fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Mar 6, 2015

# ? Mar 6, 2015 20:05

Look Sir Droids: Jan 27, 2015; The tracks go off in this direction.

Most people?

# ? Mar 6, 2015 20:06

Toona the Cat: Jun 9, 2004; The Greatest

Look Sir Droids posted:

Most people?

I guess I'm just naive about these kind of things. I've had one loan ever in my life and that was for my first house.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 20:09

mikeraskol: May 3, 2006; Oh yeah. I was killing you.

Toona the Cat posted:

I just got my financial aid letter. I wonder how many people take the maximum offered.

EDIT: My maximum possible debt would be a little over 93K, I'm probably looking at 61,500.

Ugh

# ? Mar 6, 2015 20:13

SlothBear: Jan 25, 2009

ActusRhesus posted:

Pretty sure Scalia is a dwarf

Only if it's a system where dwarves can be bards.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 20:14

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Toona the Cat posted:

I guess I'm just naive about these kind of things. I've had one loan ever in my life and that was for my first house.

Stop now.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 21:21

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# ? May 19, 2024 13:17

Soothing Vapors: Mar 26, 2006; Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

Toona the Cat posted:

EDIT: My maximum possible debt would be a little over 93K, I'm probably looking at 61,500.

# ? Mar 6, 2015 21:35

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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