Volume posted:

I kind of miss the "PYF forums drama" thread

Say Nothing posted:

Text of Apollo astronauts seeing the moon craters for the first time.

Zemyla posted:

Is that lingo I don't understand, or was there actually a moose on the moon?

Pondex posted:

Yes. There are large moose on the moon.

TetsuoTW posted:

Literally the excuse given when they banned GI Joe Dirtbag's rape victim.

death .cab for qt posted:

Context: Meowbot can't spell or heed red flags when going on Craigslist dates


If you just scrolled past that brick wall of text then scroll the gently caress back up and read it, it's the best post in any forum so far this year

webmeister posted:

This post didn't get enough love, holy poo poo it's a work of art

Meowbot posted:

Divitiny dragonic? or whatever is really good but there is a point where you got to become a dragon *(much like what we all experience in real life ) and take to "the skies ' and this is when things take a slight turn for the worst

the space combat as a dragon is not really great and these turets keep raping you but you arent there yet? or are you.

that was one of those games wht was a hidden gem like when the yfind a dildo on an xray inside somoness body and kinda felt the same when you think about it
Look it as a metaphor and it makes more sense
it is a shame this game was not as big as people thought it

The MSJ posted:

Meowbot has the best metaphors

Karate Bastard posted:

What? I bailed half way through cause the thing's so stupid it half gave me Down syndrome. Is there a point to it?

Jedit posted:

Apparently if you read all of it it can cure Downs Syndrome.

Where's your avatar from, by the way?

'Tony Danza Claus posted:

I really wanna teach a troll sex ed class. But stick to actual facts.

"The blood rushes into the penis, which is basically an elongated clitoris made of the same erectile tissue of the labia. Then the man puts his repurposed clitoris into the vagina, which is lubricated by mucus, just like snot, and after so long the man ejaculates, which means a funny smelling liquid called semen, which comes from a gland in his rear end in a top hat, mixes with some worm-like creatures and then comes out of where he pees."

"So sex is basically snot and blood and rear end gravy and worms all thrown into a big sweaty bowl that can result in a baby, which cost on average $28,000 a year. Any questions?"

Blistex posted:

On 7 August 1942, Allied forces land on the Island of Guadalcanal, taking the Japanese engineers by total surprise, and capturing the nearly complete airfield

*The USN unloads F-35's on to Guadalcanal. They lower them from the flight deck, on to waiting barges, and safely transport them to shore 4 KM away in rough seas.* (25/25 still operational)
*The US Marines have to transport the F-35's to the partially completed airstrip 500m away along the serviceable road the retreating Japanese engineers have left behind(18/25 still operational)
*A F-35 attempts to take off from Henderson field, swallows a falling palm leaf, catches on fire* (17/25 still operational)
*Marines spend the next two days clearing 40 acres of jungle to make a safe area for the F-35 to take off from. Also it rained that night.(12/25 still operational)
*Betty bombers fly a night mission and drop bombs on Henderson field. A lucky hit from a 500lb bomb throws dirt in the air near two F-35's. (10/23 still operational)
*A 30x30' cement pad is poured for the aircraft to VTOL from/on. Also, jungles have humidity. (8/25 still operational)
*A Japanese bombardment mission happens during then night. Two Japanese battleships and support craft shell the island, but no hits land within 300m of the airfield.(7/25 still operational)
*Marine pilots scramble to intercept a pair of Betty Bombers who are attempting a brazen daylight bombing run. (4/25 still operational)
*A local girl wandered within sight of the Marines. The first marine to rape the 7 year old forgot others were waiting, and strangled her when he was finished. A riot ensues.(3/25 still operational)
*Henderson field receives 5 B-17 bombers and 200 USAAF peronelle to operate and maintain them. (2/25 still operational)
*The USN Island hopping campaign has forced the IJN/IJA to abandon Rabaul airbase, meaning there are no longer any Japanese assets within the F-35's operational range..(1/25 still operational)
*While doing maintenance, a Marine pretends that a wrench is his penis and drops it. (0/25 still operational)

Karate Bastard posted:

What? I bailed half way through cause the thing's so stupid it half gave me Down syndrome. Is there a point to it?

An Enormous Boner posted:

i go around giving speeches to elementary school auditoriums , my speech is called "its actually good to have diarreah" ... i tell all the kid sbaout how much better it is to have diarreah and poo poo out water, i go to the kids when i come up "Hi kids, im here to talk to you today about diarreah" and the yalways eupt into big laughter ... but i wait, i wait for it to die down, then i launch imto the meat of my speech. "Its a lot better to make out water than tough ones and heres why" and i go on down the list, by the end im getting a standing ovation. not what you would have thought either but i do it every day.

Jedit posted:

Apparently if you read all of it it can cure Downs Syndrome.

Where's your avatar from, by the way?

little munchkin posted:

Ruddha posted:

i find if you have a good type of diaorrhhea, its like a good type of solid kind, in that you don't even need to wipe. That's the horse shoe variant, in that its two sides of the same coin, but the coin curves back to the same side, on both sides.

The White Dragon posted:

my local k-mart has been the regular target of vandalism since the turn of the century because it's easy for local delinquents to tag the sign to say BIG KOCK

criscodisco posted:

How does that work? How can they change "Big K-Mart" into "Big Kock", or is the logo just "Big-K"?

There was a funeral home in my hometown there was a funeral home called Titus Funeral Home, and vandals would always knock of letters off the sign until it said "Tits Fun Home". When my grandma died a decade ago, I spent the whole drive home praying that the sign outside her funeral didn't say "Tits Fun Home", which of course it did.

Fanana posted:

I actually have a notepad full of incomplete joke drafts. While that alone is sad, the only complete one goes like this:

What is the biggest creature in the salad ocean?
The forka whale

EXAKT Science posted:

What do you call thousands of incomplete fat jokes?

The Something Awful Forums

massive spider posted:

Rand alPaul posted:

Hey guys, the mustache of truth declared the Middle East peace process over.

wayfinder posted:

Try my freshwater lobster pancakes:




They're hot, flat and crawdad

Armyman25 posted:

I was watching Terminator 2 recently, and realized that the only person the LAPD kill in the movie is an unarmed black man, who they shoot without warning, meanwhile they give Arnold multiple warnings to drop his weapon as he was advancing on them before they started shooting, even after he had used a grenade launcher and minigun against them.

Wayne Gretzky posted:

Five guys is piss and a good local hamburger restaurant not this chain gently caress poo poo will tar beat the poo poo off it. This place Dave's in bone corner had this gently caress awesome nard honk that's gently caress basically poo poo the piss, retard

Supreme Allah posted:

$636 on the final part of my tooth implant. Supposedly I have good insurance according to the dental office ladies, but I guess a tooth implant is considered an unreasonable, ostentatious expression of vanity so I have around a 50 percent co-pay for it. Which means that at some point when the insurance people were deciding co-pay percentages they got to 'fake tooth to replace real tooth' and they all just threw their hands up and rolled their eyes. 'These assholes want a fake tooth, to replace a real one? What the gently caress. Okay, we can't be in for more than 50 percent of little lord fauntleroys fancy boy bullshit.'

no they will not posted:

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

Cinema_discusso.jpg

Magnus The Red posted:

I feel like the best case scenario for this relationship is he accidentally knocks her up then she gets disowned by her parents and moves in with him. He then has to work all day to support them because she can't keep a job and during the night she brings home random dudes to gently caress while he quietly cries in the next room dick in hand.

Don't ever date anyone younger then 21 they haven't figured out what they want in life or who they are most of the time on top of lack of budgeting skills or work ethic. Also add strippers, cam girls, and anyone that tells you they love you within minutes/hours to the do not date list.

Jeza posted:

Oh-oh-oh jeez. I c-c-can't just have a relationship with this girl...I h-h-have to help her be a better person.

*accidentally starts pimping her for cash on cam site*

oh-oh no...

*destroys what remains of her obviously fragile psyche*

oh maaannnnnn...

NotAnArtist posted:

Maybe when theyre both broken their pieces will fit together~~~~

wayfinder posted:

tomstuart posted:

its not mad max

its malcontent marvin

Reply at http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1732348/regex-match-open-tags-except-xhtml-self-contained-tags posted:

You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the n​erves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Rege̿̔̉x-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a chi͡ld ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of c͒ͪo͛ͫrrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg​ex parsers for HTML will ins​tantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil​l devour your HT​ML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fi​ght he com̡e̶s, ̕h̵i​s un̨ho͞ly radiańcé destro҉ying all enli̍̈́̂̈́ghtenment, HTML tags lea͠ki̧n͘g fr̶ǫm ̡yo​͟ur eye͢s̸ ̛l̕ik͏e liq​uid pain, the song of re̸gular exp​ression parsing will exti​nguish the voices of mor​tal man from the sp​here I can see it can you see ̲͚̖͔̙î̩́t̲͎̩̱͔́̋̀ it is beautiful t​he final snuffing of the lie​s of Man ALL IS LOŚ͖̩͇̗̪̏̈́T ALL I​S LOST the pon̷y he comes he c̶̮omes he comes the ich​or permeates all MY FACE MY FACE ᵒh god no NO NOO̼O​O NΘ stop the an​*̶͑̾̾​̅ͫ͏̙̤g͇̫͛͆̾ͫ̑͆l͖͉̗̩̳̟̍ͫͥͨe̠̅s ͎a̧͈͖r̽̾̈́͒͑e n​ot rè̑ͧ̌aͨl̘̝̙̃ͤ͂̾̆ ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ ISͮ̂҉̯͈͕̹̘̱ TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝S̨̥̫͎̭ͯ̿̔̀ͅ

Have you tried using an XML parser instead?

Chido posted:

I'm so angry right now. I was outside with the chickens and I asked my younger niece to grab Megatron and put her in the crate so I could let Roo out of the run. What does she do? She gets distracted trying to grab another chicken and puts Megatron on the ground. Roo mounted her and ripped off the scab, tearing the wound wide open again and only part of the scab is attached on one edge. I yelled at my niece and she said it was an accident, but for gently caress's sake, how hard is for an 11 year old to do as told before playing? And this is supposedly her chicken.

I put EMT gel on the wound and bandaged it again, and brought the crate back to my room and she'll stay here until the wound scabs over again. I really want to be harsh and tell my niece how thanks to her Megatron's healing is back to square one, and that if she cries so much and whines about tiny scratches, to imagine how Mega feels with a hole on her side, and that if Mega was her size, that hole would be like 10 inches long, and how she would feel if she had a hole that big, and her muscle exposed. I won't do it because I'm not her mom, but I certainly won't let her help me anymore, and that will get through, because she hates being excluded.

MussoliniB posted:

Does anyone have the quote about getting dumped and it's time to get over it and find a new piece of chocolate?

Snapchat A Titty posted:

Who's the trendsetting superstar that started saying salty, everyone is doing it all over the forums now and I'm getting sour.

Masked Pumpkin posted:

It's not an SA quote, but it's awesome anyway:

SaltyJesus posted:

That thread is somehow distilled E/N.

PlacidPanic posted:

She told me she liked it a lot. Talked about liking his dick. So... here's a weird part about this. As I was asking her all this stuff over skype I started getting turned on and masturbating. And she noticed and really laid into the details. I'm ashamed that I keep thinking about what she told me while I masturbate. She asked me if I'm a cuckold and I said gently caress no, I don't ever want that. I feel hurt and betrayed and disgusted. But because she was exaggerating things for my “benefit”, I don't know how much she really meant.

PlacidPanic posted:

When I told her that if she wanted there to be anything more between us she needed to cut off all contact with this guy, she told me I was being controlling and that was a red flag for abuse. I told her to break up with me then.