Smiling Jack posted:.... what It all happened a really long time ago so its pretty much all the same thing.
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Mar 28, 2015 05:38
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:It all happened a really long time ago so its pretty much all the same thing. ty veins this made me laugh cuz it was v. close to what I was going to post
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Mar 29, 2015 01:24
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Since I got out of the Marine Corps I've kept my hair relatively short. I got it cut last night, not a skin fade, just a fade up from a 2 by a professional barber/hair stylist friend who lives nearby. Queue the angy staff NCO at the housing gas station, which I'm only at because they stay open later than ABC and have no reservations about selling rum to a dude with a beard on a sunday night, who decides to take it upon himself to correct me. He assumed I was some poo poo head coming off of leave (Which would explain my beard) who had just gotten a "low reg shitbag" haircut on his way back from banging Susie rottencrotch. (No poo poo, his words exactly). The look on his face when I told him to gently caress off was priceless. I need to move away from this drat base already.. Why am I still here?
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Mar 30, 2015 13:29
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I just shaved my beard after letting it go for 3 and a half months. I feel so naked.
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Mar 30, 2015 13:59
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LCL-Dead posted:Since I got out of the Marine Corps I've kept my hair relatively short. This is the best.
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Mar 30, 2015 14:56
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sometimes i wanna go shopping at a PX just hoping someone will correct my four month old beard and shaggy haircut just so i can tell them to gently caress off. it's really really low on my to-do list. near the bottom. but it's still there.
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Mar 30, 2015 15:17
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MurderBot posted:I just shaved my beard after letting it go for 3 and a half months. quitter
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Mar 30, 2015 15:21
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Fart Sandwiches posted:This is the best. Got one better for ya. (Skip down past the filler/backstory for the good part) A good friend of mine while I was in, we'll call him Pedro, ended up getting administratively separated on a bad conduct discharge. [filler] What had happened was Pedro, after we got back from our first deployment, another friend of ours and I had been assigned to go run a pre-check of the FNG barracks rooms since it was Thursday night and field day was set to go first thing in the morning. We're checking the last of the rooms on 3rd deck when we come across a gem. Of the 3 junior Marines in the room, two have their poo poo packed away, clean, ready to go. The third not only has a female in the room, but his poo poo is still laying out everywhere AND the dumb gently caress has a case of beer that he's sharing with her. They're both underage. So we go easy on him at first by telling him to get rid of the girl, get his poo poo clean, then when we come back and clear him in an hour he can go bang the STD bus until he's content with his drippy dick. An hour later, he's gone. We ask the other two and, apparently, after taking her down to the parking lot to see her off he never came back. So, gently caress this kid. We take all of his laundry that's out and throw it in the shower, then turn the shower on. He was a neat freak about his poo poo being organized, so we rearranged his entire wall locker. it was still neat but we had hosed his order 6 shits to the wind. As the final piece, we confiscated his beer, then flipped his mattress and bedding off of the coffin locker. This has the effect of spilling the 4 open beers that had been hiding behind his mattress into the coffin locker. Tough luck.. Before departing, we told the other two to call us when he came back. Well, he doesn't get back until about 4am. The first thing he does is call this brick piece of poo poo SSgt we had at the time, one who'd been sent back early from Iraq to receive the boot drop. This guy (In light of a pretty massive hazing incident from the year before) tells the boots that, if they feel like they're being hazed, they should call him first thing. So what does this kid do? He calls this SSgt. Now, because I didn't live in the barracks at the time I somehow skated out of the repercussions of this little incident but my two boys were not so lucky. They were brought up to a Battalion level NJP for hazing and given an ultimatum by the BN-CO, admit to hazing and get a slap on the wrist with some restriction, or refuse to admit and take the whole book. Lance criminal #1 admits to hazing. Takes 45/45 and half months pay for one month as a punishment. Lance criminal #2, Pedro, prints the hazing order out and then reads it to the Battalion commander during his NJP, refusing to admit to hazing because he didn't do anything that was covered by the order. He takes a reduction in rank from Lance to Private, 45/45, no pay a whole month. No suspensions. Needless to say, we're all pretty pissed off about the way it turned out and the poor boot who started it all ended up getting committed to the 4th floor of the hospital after he suffered a mental breakdown at the hand of 82 other Marines breathing down his neck for rest of his time in. [/filler] So, Pedro, the badass who would sit up on the third deck balcony with his half stack and Gibson, taking shouted out requests for music and belting it out like a lesser god, decides he's fed up with the Marine Corps, with the command, with everything. BC won't even let him use a pay phone to call his family. So this loving guy goes out in town one night after sneaking past the OOD and getting his car keys from a friend, and heads out to places unknown. The next morning, a Monday morning, the Battalion commander comes into work, well, into his office, to a sight I wish I could have seen with my own eyes. Pedro is at his desk, silkies and a green t-shirt, shower shoe covered feet kicked up on the huge oak monstrosity that is our BC's personal penis extension, a bottle of crown off to one side (Details relayed by the OOD, who had to escort Pedro out), a bag of weed off to the other and the biggest loving joint the OOD had ever seen. He's about halfway through both the joint and the bottle of crown and offers a cheerful, "What's up, Chris!?" to the BC as he enters his office. According to the company clerk, another Lance criminal, the screams and shouting, accompanied by Pedro's laughter, could be heard across both stories and all company offices in the building. The kid didn't even go to the brig for an extended stay. 10 days later he's out of the brig and back at the command for out processing and as soon as he's got his DD214 in hand he cuts his utilities into daisy dukes, cuts the sleeves off of his blouse, pulls the stitching out of his 8 point cover to make it into a soft cap and then goes waltzing down the main drag out of Camp Lejeune as if he hadn't a care in the world. Once we got wind of the fact that he was on the road we loaded into as many vehicles as possible, as a platoon, and drove laps around him going up and down Holcombe, cheering him on as literally dozens of staff NCO's stopped to reprimand him, only to find out that you can't reprimand someone who has no fucks left to give. Cole posted:sometimes i wanna go shopping at a PX just hoping someone will correct my four month old beard and shaggy haircut just so i can tell them to gently caress off. It's only happened to me a few times, 2 or 3 tops and usually coincides with the ending of a long holiday weekend or leave period. I live less than a mile from the gate of Camp Lejeune in NC and, due to being medically retired and possessing that beautiful blue "gently caress you" ID card, I go on base all the time to shop at the PX or get groceries from the commissary. I'm not stupid fat but if I can manage to drop back down about 30 pounds I intend to trim my beard down to stubble and get a lovely low fade someday so that I can go walk around the PX or C-Store in flip flops and a white t-shirt just to see how high I can raise the collective blood pressure of the SNCO's around the base.
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Mar 30, 2015 15:51
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LCL-Dead posted:pedro 
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Mar 30, 2015 16:15
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Not following.
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Mar 30, 2015 16:44
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Everyone dreams of doing it but drat dude. I mean I hate my job in the air force but if I was in the marines I'm pretty sure I would be pretty close to Pedro's level.
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Mar 30, 2015 16:49
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If it's not stdh.txt then pedro is a hero
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Mar 30, 2015 17:02
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:If it's not stdh.txt then pedro is a hero I want to believe.
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Mar 30, 2015 17:28
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That's the most usmc.txt that I have ever read. Holy gently caress, some men do truly die a hero.
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Mar 30, 2015 17:42
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Why isn't Kathryn Bigelow making war movies about Pedro
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Mar 30, 2015 18:24
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Zeris posted:Why isn't Kathryn Bigelow making war movies about Pedro They'd be too believable compared to her other movies.
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Mar 30, 2015 18:38
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Cole posted:sometimes i wanna go shopping at a PX just hoping someone will correct my four month old beard and shaggy haircut just so i can tell them to gently caress off. "Thanks for telling me sarge." "It's staff sergeant." "Woops, sorry Sir."
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Mar 30, 2015 21:14
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LeoMarr posted:"Thanks for telling me sarge." I call my Lance friend sometimes when he's working the MP desk at whatever the gently caress that camp is on Okinawa, and his shift supervisor (some kind of NCO?) always gets extremely stuffy when I keep calling him sir. The marines are gay.
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Mar 30, 2015 21:23
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Larry Parrish posted:The marines are gay.
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Mar 31, 2015 00:33
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Smiling Jack posted:.... what Yeah dude. That's absolute BS. The mongols brought down empires and reduced cities to cinders in the middle east on the reg.
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Mar 31, 2015 01:21
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Scratch Monkey posted:Yeah dude. That's absolute BS. The mongols brought down empires and reduced cities to cinders in the middle east on the reg. They also got into a land war in Russia in the dead of winter and beat the absolute poo poo out of them. The only reason the Mongols stopped was because Ghengis died before he could bury his dick into Western Europe
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Mar 31, 2015 01:39
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Bolow posted:They also got into a land war in Russia in the dead of winter and beat the absolute poo poo out of them. The only reason the Mongols stopped was because Ghengis died before he could bury his dick into Western Europe i wonder how successful they wouldve been in the forests of central europe
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Mar 31, 2015 02:22
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My favorite Mongol story is how the Persians killed two Mongol emmisaries, so Genghis Khan put conquering China on hold to conquer all of Persia and most of Central Asia, then went back to conquering China but died of old age.
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Mar 31, 2015 02:52
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uh when you call someone on post and someone gets stuffy about ranks the only response is "yeah whatever human being let me talk to x" congrats you have owned both faggots
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Mar 31, 2015 04:18
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Bolow posted:They also got into a land war in Russia in the dead of winter and beat the absolute poo poo out of them. The only reason the Mongols stopped was because Ghengis died before he could bury his dick into Western Europe White is Right, so the crusaders were cooler. It's just a fact.
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Mar 31, 2015 04:30
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Fart Sandwiches posted:I want to believe. I wouldn't have believed it myself if I didn't know the guy personally and know the SSgt who was OOD that day, since he was from our platoon. Otherwise I would have dropped it into the pile of stories I heard while in that include the likes of that kid who got promoted to Corporal for telling the Commandant to take his hands out of his pockets one day before he realized who he was talking to.
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Mar 31, 2015 12:49
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My favorite mongol story is how the Rus got together this big muslim-loving army for the pope and had to go try to beat on the Mongols instead and got absolutely loving stomped into nothingness at the Kalka River, something like 75000 casualties reported of a 80000 man total force. And they did this by slowly retreating for 9 loving DAYS while the Rus were like  HAY GUYS WE'VE ALMOST GOT THEM until they faced the mogols in full battle line across a river and basically instantly broke their lines and ran hog wild on their super strewn out baggage train.
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Apr 1, 2015 00:23
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MA-Horus posted:75000 casualties reported of a 80000 man total force. Russiantactics.txt This was also against a Mongol force of ~20k. Russians have been unafraid of the meat grinder since time immemorial.
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Apr 1, 2015 00:27
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Has it ever been considered a good thing to be in any Russian army? I can't even imagine what it would be like to be in the Red Army and have both German AND Russian machine guns pointed at you.
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Apr 1, 2015 00:30
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The Russian military is a fascinating study in how superior numbers aren't always the key to victory.
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Apr 1, 2015 00:37
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Cojawfee posted:Has it ever been considered a good thing to be in any Russian army? I can't even imagine what it would be like to be in the Red Army and have both German AND Russian machine guns pointed at you. Maybe when they were pushing the Austrian's butts in? That'd be the only time I could MAYBE think of. Sure as gently caress not the Brusilov offensive. gently caress no.
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Apr 1, 2015 00:40
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MA-Horus posted:Maybe when they were pushing the Austrian's butts in? That'd be the only time I could MAYBE think of. I hear being in the russian army during 1945 was pretty cool. You got to rape and pillage across Germany.
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Apr 1, 2015 00:42
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MA-Horus posted:Maybe when they were pushing the Austrian's butts in? That'd be the only time I could MAYBE think of. It blew my loving mind when I found out that Austria-Hungary suffered 90% casualties in WW1. Ninety loving Percent of everyone in that military was either killed or wounded. God loving drat
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Apr 1, 2015 00:42
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LingcodKilla posted:I hear being in the russian army during 1945 was pretty cool. You got to rape and pillage across Germany. unless you were one of the 750000 killed or 2100000 wounded from jan 1 til may 8
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Apr 1, 2015 01:12
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:unless you were one of the 750000 killed or 2100000 wounded from jan 1 til may 8 May 9th duh.
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Apr 1, 2015 01:21
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This poor bastard. http://journalstar.com/news/local/memorial-to-be-dedicated-to-the-last-wwii-soldier-to/article_7af17bc6-6aa1-11df-917c-001cc4c002e0.html
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Apr 1, 2015 01:24
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LingcodKilla posted:May 9th duh. how much combat was going on around moscow on may 9th?
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Apr 1, 2015 01:31
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:how much combat was going on around moscow on may 9th? I was thinking about all the raping and pillaging in Berlin. You know. The awesome time to be in the Russian army.
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Apr 1, 2015 01:34
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Ah Russia. The reason why redheads are in Afghanistan.
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Apr 1, 2015 01:38
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| # ? May 16, 2024 04:37 |
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MA-Horus posted:My favorite mongol story is how the Rus got together this big muslim-loving army for the pope and had to go try to beat on the Mongols instead and got absolutely loving stomped into nothingness at the Kalka River, something like 75000 casualties reported of a 80000 man total force. i like how none of the primary sources gave any kind of numbers so everything is just a fuckin guess. one guy claimed the rus had 30k and lost 10k but who fuckin knows 
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Apr 1, 2015 01:42
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