Kyrie eleison posted:

Christian: "You're all Satanists"
Atheist: "Nuh uh!! I'm just enlightened person"
Christian: "Satan worshippers"
Atheist: "No way man"
Christian: "Go worship Satan"
Atheist: "Ok fine I was a Satan worshipper all along"

Kyrie eleison posted:

Wahh all I did was worship Satan and now I'm in Hell, God is so mean

Kyrie eleison posted:

Wahh all I did was worship Satan and now I'm in Hell, God is so mean

Kyrie eleison posted:

Wahh all I did was worship Satan and now I'm in Hell, God is so mean

Robotnik Nudes posted:

On the other hand LaVeyan Satanism is even stupider as a religion than Scientology. I do think it's funny how Xians get all uptight about them instead of realizing it's the literal gently caress You Dad religion

Kyrie eleison posted:

Christian: "You're all Satanists"
Atheist: "Nuh uh!! I'm just enlightened person"
Christian: "Satan worshippers"
Atheist: "No way man"
Christian: "Go worship Satan"
Atheist: "Ok fine I was a Satan worshipper all along"

Who What Now posted:

If we worship Satan why wouldnt we enjoy being in hell?

GAINING WEIGHT... posted:

You are the villain. You are the corrupt. You are the one in need of change.

Rodatose posted:

don't say that. kylie is good as they are now, saucy and sassy and that's why i pmed them and we became gayboy lovers. if he weremt the subversive firecracker gadfly (GAYedfly?!) they are now I would not be in the position I am in now, the position of a power bottom planning to make them my bride while in the throws of a passion most divine

Nessus posted:

You assume everyone who disagrees with you is an atheist now? What a maroon

VitalSigns posted:

The Church of Satan does have one use: every time some dominionist Christian group enlists the government to force their religion on America under the guise of religious freedom, the satanists are there to call their bluff and apply to be part of the same program.

Robotnik Nudes posted:

I actually recently learns that the group that actually does that, The Satanic Temple is more of a goof org and not affiliated with La Bey Church of Satan.

Sinnlos posted:

Satanism isn't even worshipping Satan. It's just objectivists LARPing Vampire: The Masquerade

Sinnlos posted:

Satanism isn't even worshipping Satan. It's just objectivists LARPing Vampire: The Masquerade

Kyrie eleison posted:

*bows down to statue of Baphomet* UGH i'm not worshipping satan guys *sacrifices child on blood altar* GEEZ i'm just pretending to worship satan

Who What Now posted:

There is absolutely no historical or archeological evidence that supports there being a man who literally rose a zombie army after he returned from the dead. The only archeological "analysis" you can do is get an idea of if the places mentioned in the bible were real, but that no more proves there was a divine Christ than the existence of New York proves there is a Spider-Man.

SedanChair posted:

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Are all self-professed christians ITT unsubtle trolls, or are these people serious?

PerpetualSelf posted:

I was being facetious. Speaking a little tongue in cheek. I dislike the Jewish people very much because they act like genocidal maniacs killing innocent civilians at any given chance all while claiming they are "God's Chosen People." They do this while having massive representations of said foreigners they kill in their nation and despite (unlike the vast majority of the palestinian and arab people surrounding them) having european culture and education being a massive part of their background, and being very well off financially. When some people groups do this it is understandable. They are poorly educated. Have a much different culture and way of thinking, While the Jewish communities that left Europe were somewhat segregated and maintained some of their own culture they were still far enough european in terms of ethics and logic that there is no excuse for what they have done in Israel. Theologically I don't care about Jesus and the Jews at all. Jews didn't kill Jesus. I do care about the fact that Jews consistently disobey God at every turn, despite being the "Chosen People," in fact they even themselves admit this their Tanakh and Talmud.

PerpetualSelf posted:

I was being facetious. Speaking a little tongue in cheek. I dislike the Jewish people very much because they act like genocidal maniacs killing innocent civilians at any given chance all while claiming they are "God's Chosen People." They do this while having massive representations of said foreigners they kill in their nation and despite (unlike the vast majority of the palestinian and arab people surrounding them) having european culture and education being a massive part of their background, and being very well off financially. When some people groups do this it is understandable. They are poorly educated. Have a much different culture and way of thinking, While the Jewish communities that left Europe were somewhat segregated and maintained some of their own culture they were still far enough european in terms of ethics and logic that there is no excuse for what they have done in Israel. Theologically I don't care about Jesus and the Jews at all. Jews didn't kill Jesus. I do care about the fact that Jews consistently disobey God at every turn, despite being the "Chosen People," in fact they even themselves admit this their Tanakh and Talmud.

SedanChair posted:

PerpetualSelf posted:

Of course there isn't it would be impossible for there to be any kind of archeological evidence to support a man rising from the dead. That's besides the point.


I was being facetious. Speaking a little tongue in cheek. I dislike the Jewish people very much because they act like genocidal maniacs killing innocent civilians at any given chance all while claiming they are "God's Chosen People." They do this while having massive representations of said foreigners they kill in their nation and despite (unlike the vast majority of the palestinian and arab people surrounding them) having european culture and education being a massive part of their background, and being very well off financially. When some people groups do this it is understandable. They are poorly educated. Have a much different culture and way of thinking, While the Jewish communities that left Europe were somewhat segregated and maintained some of their own culture they were still far enough european in terms of ethics and logic that there is no excuse for what they have done in Israel. Theologically I don't care about Jesus and the Jews at all. Jews didn't kill Jesus. I do care about the fact that Jews consistently disobey God at every turn, despite being the "Chosen People," in fact they even themselves admit this their Tanakh and Talmud.


I'm not trolling in the least. But It will be impossible to convince anyone of that most likely.

PerpetualSelf posted:

Theologically I don't care about Jesus and the Jews at all. Jews didn't kill Jesus. I do care about the fact that Jews consistently disobey God at every turn, despite being the "Chosen People,"

Robotnik Nudes posted:

To be fair the Jews in the Bible are p. Dumb. God goes away for five minute and everyone is all "Oh man have you seen the new cow? Shits gold. So shine. We should worship it. "

Kyrie eleison posted:

If you're all ecumenical and liberal and just want to get along with everybody and find "the common religious experience" and how "we all connect to the great divine mystery" or whatever then obviously you're going to look at Satanists and say "they are just doing what they believe, maybe I can learn from them" and maybe take part in a Black Mass or two just to expand your horizons and learn about the full breadth of human experience, but if you prefer to stick with one particular religious tradition for whatever reason then you are going to have to realize it is at odds with all other belief systems and you might as well embrace it and poke fun at them the way one does a respected rival. Or you can get your fee-fees hurt whenever anyone mentions Hell or something, that works too

Kyrie eleison posted:

Yeah I can tell just how much everyone treats Christianity with constant respect and admiration and doesn't want to offend anyone especially on these Something Awful forums or on reddit or in all of popular culture. Gimme a loving break.

Christianity is right and all other religions are wrong, the Jews and Muslims are wrong and the Hindus and Buddhists and atheists are wrong, also non-Catholic denominations are wrong and also anyone who claims to be a Catholic but actually believes bogus nonsense like liberation theology is wrong. Cheers m8s

PerpetualSelf posted:

Are you capable of saying anything that doesn't involve a lovely slippery slope argument.

PerpetualSelf posted:

The irony that someone who claims Catholicism to be the "One True Church" is going around supporting TULIPy Calvinism is not lost on me, considering those kind of ideas were proclaimed Heresies over 400 years ago by the Catholic Church (unlike liberation theology). You can't even be consistent theologically with your proclaimed Denomination. You're a bad troll.

CommieGIR posted:

Here's a hint: You hate the Israeli government. Not Jewish people.

PerpetualSelf posted:

The Jewish People enable the Israeli government just as the American People enable the American government and the Russian People enable the Russian Government.

PerpetualSelf posted:

The Jewish People enable the Israeli government just as the American People enable the American government and the Russian People enable the Russian Government.

PerpetualSelf posted:

I was being facetious. Speaking a little tongue in cheek.

quote:

I dislike the Jewish people very much because they act like genocidal maniacs killing innocent civilians at any given chance all while claiming they are "God's Chosen People." They do this while having massive representations of said foreigners they kill in their nation and despite (unlike the vast majority of the palestinian and arab people surrounding them) having european culture and education being a massive part of their background, and being very well off financially. When some people groups do this it is understandable. They are poorly educated. Have a much different culture and way of thinking, While the Jewish communities that left Europe were somewhat segregated and maintained some of their own culture they were still far enough european in terms of ethics and logic that there is no excuse for what they have done in Israel. Theologically I don't care about Jesus and the Jews at all. Jews didn't kill Jesus. I do care about the fact that Jews consistently disobey God at every turn, despite being the "Chosen People," in fact they even themselves admit this their Tanakh and Talmud.

PerpetualSelf posted:

The Jewish People enable the Israeli government just as the American People enable the American government and the Russian People enable the Russian Government.

CommieGIR posted:

Go re-read the entire thread.


The irony being you claim to know the truth just as much as he does, but at the same time make the same claims as him about the superiority of your truth over all other truths.

Sinnlos posted:

What denomination are you pray tell?

Sinnlos posted:

Not really? Kyrie Elasion in making claims about Catholic doctrine, which are objectively and demonstrably false. And yes, it is ironic that someone's entire gimmick is "I am the most Catholic" and then goes off and spouts opinions that are condemned as heresy by the Catholic church.

PerpetualSelf posted:

I believe in no Creed but Christ.

CommieGIR posted:

Regardless if Kyrie's claims about Catholicism are valid or not, and you'd know better than I, Kyrie and PerpetualSelf are making the same smug religious superiority claims, its stupid from both of them, especially when it devolves into monologues about who knows the irrefutable truth and how all other religions are false.