Current Events: dudes just chill its gonna be ok

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EBB: Feb 15, 2005

JIhadi jeep gone wrong

# ? Apr 15, 2015 03:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 8, 2024 00:19

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

Muhammad Allah'durka sets world record for suicide carbomb vertical launching in the inaugural ISIL Olympics. Key events include Goat loving, IED making, Shooting into the air while screaming Allahu Ackbar, etc.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 03:38

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

orange juche posted:

Muhammad Allah'durka sets world record for suicide carbomb vertical launching in the inaugural ISIL Olympics. Key events include Goat loving, IED making, Shooting into the air while screaming Allahu Ackbar, etc.

dont forget the crowd favorite, beheading ethnic minorities

# ? Apr 15, 2015 04:19

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

Lazy Reservist posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GLhyBWtd10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIQn8pab8Vc

# ? Apr 15, 2015 04:27

Hunterhr: Jan 4, 2007; And The Beast, Satan said unto the LORD, "You Fucking Suck" and juked him out of his goddamn shoes

Horizon sky ground horizon sky ground horizzzzzon sky gr- poof.

What are the odds he was alive to allah akbar the button vs it being a sympathetic detonation.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 04:32

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

look man i get puttin a sick fuckin blade on your flak, but its all about positioning. they gonna call fix bayonets and homeboy gonna drop his weapon and kneel down waiting for the end

It's Iraq. ftfy

# ? Apr 15, 2015 04:37

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

USMC503 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIQn8pab8Vc

http://youtubedoubler.com/f3js

Timed this poo poo perfectly, it matches the explosion, both times :getin:

# ? Apr 15, 2015 04:38

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

orange juche posted:

http://youtubedoubler.com/f3js

Timed this poo poo perfectly, it matches the explosion, both times

It's beautiful.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 04:47

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

Hunterhr posted:

Horizon sky ground horizon sky ground horizzzzzon sky gr- poof.

What are the odds he was alive to allah akbar the button vs it being a sympathetic detonation.

Idk, the way it detonated at the apogee seems suspicious for a sympathetic detonation, its probably a conspiracy by the NSA, carbombs can't melt steel beams.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 04:47

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

it's going to be hilarious when president clinton nominates him to the supreme court

I seriously hope this happens just so we can see all the evil looks and catty bullshit Thomas and Scalia shoot at him.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 06:38

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Dead Reckoning posted:

I seriously hope this happens just so we can see all the evil looks and catty bullshit Thomas and Scalia shoot at him.

While we're dreaming Scalia will be dead and replaced by someone who is gay and black.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 06:49

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

Fart Sandwiches posted:

We all die in the end. There is a happy ending.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 06:50

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

We won't be seeing n4i for a while guys.

cnn posted:

2 TSA officers fired after plotting to grope attractive men, police say

(CNN)Two Transportation Security Administration screeners have been fired after conspiring to grope attractive men at Denver International Airport, Denver police said.

Here's how police say the scheme worked: When the male TSA officer noticed a man he found attractive, he would alert a female TSA officer.

The female officer would then tell the screening machine that a female passenger -- not a male -- was walking through. And that information would trigger a machine to register an anomaly in the groin area, prompting the male TSA officer to pat down the passenger, police said, citing a TSA investigation.

But during the patdown, the male TSA officer used the palms of his hands to touch the passenger's front groin area and buttocks, which violates TSA policy.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 16:37

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

Only two genders? gently caress off cis scum TSA machine

# ? Apr 15, 2015 16:42

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Last time I flew anywhere one of the TSA goons on duty was a guy who was easily in the bottom-30% of my high school class. Guy was a dumb, fat gently caress back then but at least he had the sense to land a cushy job where he gets to grope people.

That said, if we're actually counting on the TSA to be the last line of defense against terrorists, we're hosed.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 16:50

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

holocaust bloopers posted:

Only two genders? gently caress off cis scum TSA machine

i was reading a book about going to mars recently and it started talking about cislunar space
it triggered me

# ? Apr 15, 2015 17:45

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Zeroisanumber posted:

Last time I flew anywhere one of the TSA goons on duty was a guy who was easily in the bottom-30% of my high school class. Guy was a dumb, fat gently caress back then but at least he had the sense to land a cushy job where he gets to grope people.

That said, if we're actually counting on the TSA to be the last line of defense against terrorists, we're hosed.

Nope we got 19 magic rainbow defenses

# ? Apr 15, 2015 17:46

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

dogs would make pretty good security on a plane
stand up and try to cause poo poo and you've got a german shepherd hanging from your neck

will probably stop any further hijackings

no joke that would probably work

# ? Apr 15, 2015 17:48

Caconym: Feb 12, 2013

The Norwegian Army got its panties in a twist a while ago when a company i Afghanistan started using the punisher symbol.
I mean, have you ever seen such unprofessionalism as this?

A whole lot of utter bullshit followed, all topped by a three star on a personal crusade against "skulls" spraypaiting over the skull and crossbones on an EOD SISU. :downs:

# ? Apr 15, 2015 17:49

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

i would pet tsa dogge

# ? Apr 15, 2015 17:49

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

holocaust bloopers posted:

i would pet tsa dogge

*freedom dogge

# ? Apr 15, 2015 17:58

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

holocaust bloopers posted:

i would pet tsa dogge

The smartest, most fit and best groomed of all TSA employees

# ? Apr 15, 2015 18:11

sky shark: Jun 9, 2004; CHILD RAPE IS FINE WHEN I LIKE THE RAPIST

the cutest line of defense

# ? Apr 15, 2015 18:11

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Caconym posted:

The Norwegian Army got its panties in a twist a while ago when a company i Afghanistan started using the punisher symbol.
I mean, have you ever seen such unprofessionalism as this?

A whole lot of utter bullshit followed, all topped by a three star on a personal crusade against "skulls" spraypaiting over the skull and crossbones on an EOD SISU.

vikings use to be cool but now look at them

# ? Apr 15, 2015 19:07

Fucitol: May 8, 2005; Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam

Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

vikings use to be cool but now look at them

killing a bunch of kids in a summer worker's youth league camp and then complaining about not getting candy in prison?

# ? Apr 15, 2015 19:49

Dingleberry: Aug 21, 2011

Caconym posted:

The Norwegian Army got its panties in a twist a while ago when a company i Afghanistan started using the punisher symbol.
I mean, have you ever seen such unprofessionalism as this?

A whole lot of utter bullshit followed, all topped by a three star on a personal crusade against "skulls" spraypaiting over the skull and crossbones on an EOD SISU.

Somebody with photoshopzskillzzz needs to make look like he's painting either a dick or a swastika or a swastdicka on that thing, then post it on the NA's Facebook page.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 19:50

Waroduce: Aug 5, 2008

I am a clean cut white male

I travel alot for business. I never get stopped or patted.

One time I traveled my gfs American Association of Chemists backpack cause I couldn't find mine and it had a periodic table on it

I was swabbed, patted down and all my poo poo was searched.

Thats my tsa story.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 20:06

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Waroduce posted:

I am a clean cut white male

I travel alot for business. I never get stopped or patted.

One time I traveled my gfs American Association of Chemists backpack cause I couldn't find mine and it had a periodic table on it

I was swabbed, patted down and all my poo poo was searched.

Thats my tsa story.

I am also a clean cut white male who travels in a suit and tie. I get patted down about 1 out of 3 trips. I don't mind it. Infact I normally crack jokes with the guys doing my search and keep a smile on my face.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 20:19

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

When ever I fly out I show up 4 hours early and tell the TSA that my camera isn't going through the scanning machine, and I'm not going through the sniffer scanning machine. Not once but TWICE I've had cops show up because my clothes had GSR on them and the TSA dudes acted like complete assholes. The first time I was ok with it, made it a big joke ( they didn't think it was funny ) explaining that I work with guns, clean guns, I instruct how to fire guns ect.

The second time I thought I had taken all precautions but forgot I used my backpack to carry casings n poo poo from the range. This time I wasn't so happy about the TSA being assholes and the cops hovering around with their hands on their guns. So gently caress those machines. Its all pat downs and swabs, those fuckers can do more work and when a power hungry fat piece of poo poo blob tries to power trip I just climb the ladder until they tire of being asked to see the next person in charge.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 20:32

TCD: Nov 13, 2002; Every step, a fucking adventure.

MaxPowers posted:

When ever I fly out I show up 4 hours early and tell the TSA that my camera isn't going through the scanning machine, and I'm not going through the sniffer scanning machine. Not once but TWICE I've had cops show up because my clothes had GSR on them and the TSA dudes acted like complete assholes. The first time I was ok with it, made it a big joke ( they didn't think it was funny ) explaining that I work with guns, clean guns, I instruct how to fire guns ect.

The second time I thought I had taken all precautions but forgot I used my backpack to carry casings n poo poo from the range. This time I wasn't so happy about the TSA being assholes and the cops hovering around with their hands on their guns. So gently caress those machines. Its all pat downs and swabs, those fuckers can do more work and when a power hungry fat piece of poo poo blob tries to power trip I just climb the ladder until they tire of being asked to see the next person in charge.

Uh, it's not like they were false positives...

# ? Apr 15, 2015 20:34

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

MaxPowers posted:

When ever I fly out I show up 4 hours early and tell the TSA that my camera isn't going through the scanning machine, and I'm not going through the sniffer scanning machine. Not once but TWICE I've had cops show up because my clothes had GSR on them and the TSA dudes acted like complete assholes. The first time I was ok with it, made it a big joke ( they didn't think it was funny ) explaining that I work with guns, clean guns, I instruct how to fire guns ect.

The second time I thought I had taken all precautions but forgot I used my backpack to carry casings n poo poo from the range. This time I wasn't so happy about the TSA being assholes and the cops hovering around with their hands on their guns. So gently caress those machines. Its all pat downs and swabs, those fuckers can do more work and when a power hungry fat piece of poo poo blob tries to power trip I just climb the ladder until they tire of being asked to see the next person in charge.

Obama!!!!! Why don't you get some travel clothes if you deal with that kind of poo poo all the time. I imagine TSA agents don't love going through those motions either

# ? Apr 15, 2015 20:52

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Everyone knows that the TSA is largely a feel-good measure. They're irritating, yes, but before arriving at the airport you already know that they're going to be irritating. Unless they've kicked your dog and hosed your wife, why bother getting upset? Just go through the motions and be on your way.

If / when they start trippin', just

MaxPowers posted:

asked to see the next person in charge.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 21:05

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

I dont work there any more and I rarely fly now but it was like all sense of threat assessment went out the window and the 5'9" shoe less man in front of them would at any moment pull a gun out of his rear end in a top hat. Seriously It was like they completely forgot about the body scan and went with their BAD MAN DETECTED alarm so gently caress those machines. Its all rock hard pat downs and direct eye contact for me.

Reminds me, I have an associate who works for the TSA and I always try to see if he's working so I can make him touch my penis.

MaxPowers fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Apr 15, 2015

# ? Apr 15, 2015 21:30

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

A few hours ago, a ballsy old mailman landed a gyrocopter on the Capitol lawn to deliver letters to Congress and make a statement about campaign finance reform. :patriot:

http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/elections/ruskin-mailman-tries-flying-to-capitol-in-gyrocopter-to-deliver-campaign/2225584

# ? Apr 15, 2015 21:31

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Spicy Guacamole posted:

A few hours ago, a ballsy old mailman landed a gyrocopter on the Capitol lawn to deliver letters to Congress and make a statement about campaign finance reform.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/elections/ruskin-mailman-tries-flying-to-capitol-in-gyrocopter-to-deliver-campaign/2225584

dude is probably on his way to Guantanamo right now and we will never hear from him again

# ? Apr 15, 2015 21:37

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Spicy Guacamole posted:

A few hours ago, a ballsy old mailman landed a gyrocopter on the Capitol lawn to deliver letters to Congress and make a statement about campaign finance reform.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/elections/ruskin-mailman-tries-flying-to-capitol-in-gyrocopter-to-deliver-campaign/2225584

For once "Going Postal" is whimsical instead of a massacre.

# ? Apr 15, 2015 21:39

bij: Feb 24, 2007

Dingleberry posted:

Somebody with photoshopzskillzzz needs to make look like he's painting either a dick or a swastika or a swastdicka on that thing, then post it on the NA's Facebook page.