terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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MononcQc: May 29, 2007

Subjunctive posted:

I think that means you're mispronouncing "taco"

I think you're messing up my reference to the burrito monad tutorial :(

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:48

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# ? May 13, 2024 19:08

VikingofRock: Aug 24, 2008

MononcQc posted:

I think you're messing up my reference to the burrito monad tutorial

Wasn't that an "ironic" tutorial meant to show how dumb tortured-metaphor monad tutorials are or was there a serious one?

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:58

fritz: Jul 26, 2003

MononcQc posted:

I think you're messing up my reference to the burrito monad tutorial

MonadQc

# ? Apr 22, 2015 23:25

gonadic io: Feb 16, 2011; >>=

VikingofRock posted:

Wasn't that an "ironic" tutorial meant to show how dumb tortured-metaphor monad tutorials are or was there a serious one?

the former

# ? Apr 22, 2015 23:26

fritz: Jul 26, 2003

Awia posted:

ahhhh i have a interview tomrrow in c#
i assume theyre just gonna ask questions like, "whats oop? whats an interface? whats this keyword mean"
but ive got a coding demo too and thats the scary part

tell tehm about monads

# ? Apr 22, 2015 23:28

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

fritz posted:

tell tehm about monads

tell them about bitcoin

# ? Apr 23, 2015 00:29

brap: Aug 23, 2004; Grimey Drawer

Awia posted:

ahhhh i have a interview tomrrow in c#
i assume theyre just gonna ask questions like, "whats oop? whats an interface? whats this keyword mean"
but ive got a coding demo too and thats the scary part

man if you figure out what coding is pls come back and let me know

# ? Apr 23, 2015 00:47

fritz: Jul 26, 2003

Soricidus posted:

tell them about bitcoin

tell them about the rabbitmqs

# ? Apr 23, 2015 01:35

Dessert Rose: May 17, 2004; awoken in control of a lucid deep dream...

Barnyard Protein posted:

what is the terrible programmers thread's opinion on clojure? i really like the idea: a lisp! on the JVM! woo!

but in practice it seems that clojure is constrained by the imperative nature of Java APIs to the point that it doesn't really make sense to use it

like if you want to write in a file, in common lisp you'd do something like this
code:
(with-open-file (stream "file.txt" :direction :output)
  (format stream "HELLO~%"))
where as in clojure you'd need to create additional state to accomplish the same thing
code:
(def stream (java.io.PrintWriter. "file.txt"))
(.println "HELLO")
(.close stream)
i must be missing something, maybe i should finish that clojure book

hey after further reflection you should check out with-open and spit / slurp

those look very needs-suiting for your case

# ? Apr 23, 2015 02:05

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

Dessert Rose posted:

hey after further reflection you should check out with-open and spit / slurp

those look very needs-suiting for your case

holy crap, yes. thanks. i need to just read through the whole clojure.core namespace

# ? Apr 23, 2015 03:17

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

i was feeling so smug last week after i was able to write a tool someone asked for in less than an hour, where it would have taken the better part of a day in pure java. but then i couldn't figure out some deployment problem with leiningen and had to do it in java anyways

# ? Apr 23, 2015 03:21

nrook: Jun 25, 2009; Just let yourself become a worthless person!

I used monads today, I think. a db I used returned a java CheckedFuture, so instead of actually doing async programming, I just chained together my futures with functions and everything worked!!

immediately thereafter, I owned my own db client by blocking on all of its callback threads

# ? Apr 23, 2015 03:41

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

hopefully printing a string to a file didnt take you a whole hour

# ? Apr 23, 2015 04:15

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

nah the file stuff was only slightly more complicated, its just using a yaml file as a data model to process freemarker templates. that task is as simple in clojure as it is in java. but its a part of a netbeans plugin project, the real time savings came from not having to start/stop a netbeans instance while testing its interaction with the poorly documented APIs that are a part of this particular netbeans platform.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 05:21

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

Share Bear posted:

if i want to host a static site what is the cheapest thing that's a cloud service thinger

assume i have the domain already

heroku is basically free

# ? Apr 23, 2015 07:03

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Soricidus posted:

tell them about bitcoin

is Bitcoin a monad?

# ? Apr 23, 2015 09:05

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

eschaton posted:

is Bitcoin a monad?

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

# ? Apr 23, 2015 09:23

Dessert Rose: May 17, 2004; awoken in control of a lucid deep dream...

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

# ? Apr 23, 2015 09:34

Su-Su-Sudoko: Oct 25, 2007; what stands in the way becomes the way

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

lol

# ? Apr 23, 2015 09:34

gonadic io: Feb 16, 2011; >>=

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

# ? Apr 23, 2015 10:06

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

# ? Apr 23, 2015 10:10

Deacon of Delicious: Aug 20, 2007; I bet the twist ending is Dracula's dick-babies

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

👍🏼

# ? Apr 23, 2015 11:15

Blinkz0rz: May 27, 2001; MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

drat yo

# ? Apr 23, 2015 12:23

compuserved: Mar 20, 2006; Nap Ghost

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

# ? Apr 23, 2015 12:30

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

# ? Apr 23, 2015 14:26

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

ahah

# ? Apr 23, 2015 14:42

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Soricidus posted:

yes, because it defines ways to put value in and transform it, but it's very difficult to get anything out again

# ? Apr 23, 2015 14:45

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

emptyquote

# ? Apr 23, 2015 15:53

gonadic io: Feb 16, 2011; >>=

dear terrible programmers thread: i want to write an IRC client (and then server) using either haskell or F# just for the hell of it/to put on my github

i'm very experienced with haskell, and not at all with f#. there's a strong possibility that if i do it in f# i'd just get frustrated with the syntax and quit.

idk any strong reasons to do it in one or the other? surely there's more haskell jobs than f# ones?

# ? Apr 23, 2015 16:09

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

gonadic io posted:

dear terrible programmers thread: i want to write an IRC client (and then server) using either haskell or F# just for the hell of it/to put on my github

i'm very experienced with haskell, and not at all with f#. there's a strong possibility that if i do it in f# i'd just get frustrated with the syntax and quit.

idk any strong reasons to do it in one or the other? surely there's more haskell jobs than f# ones?

1 is greater than 0 i guess

# ? Apr 23, 2015 16:11

JewKiller 3000: Nov 28, 2006; by Lowtax

i bet you could convince more employers to let you use F# than would let you use Haskell. like Scala on the JVM, you can say "but boss it's still the same reliable .NET platform, just a more modern language!" and if he searches for F# he won't find a bunch of impenetrable articles on category theory

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:24

gonadic io: Feb 16, 2011; >>=

maybe i should write a coffeescript like thing that lets me use f# with haskell's syntax. i hear that designing your own language is the best method of job security!

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:32

suffix: Jul 27, 2013; Wheeee!

gonadic io posted:

dear terrible programmers thread: i want to write an IRC client (and then server) using either haskell or F# just for the hell of it/to put on my github

i'm very experienced with haskell, and not at all with f#. there's a strong possibility that if i do it in f# i'd just get frustrated with the syntax and quit.

idk any strong reasons to do it in one or the other? surely there's more haskell jobs than f# ones?

if you do please support tls because apparently that's not a trivial and obvious feature to have in a haskell irc library

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:42

VikingofRock: Aug 24, 2008

gonadic io posted:

dear terrible programmers thread: i want to write an IRC client (and then server) using either haskell or F# just for the hell of it/to put on my github

i'm very experienced with haskell, and not at all with f#. there's a strong possibility that if i do it in f# i'd just get frustrated with the syntax and quit.

idk any strong reasons to do it in one or the other? surely there's more haskell jobs than f# ones?

Just write it in whatever language seems more fun to use. Also link it here when you are done; it sounds awesome.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:42

DimpledChad: May 14, 2002; Rigging elections since '87.

dear terrible programmers:

i am a current planger who writes php and javascript and python all day for his job and desperately wants to get a job writing good software instead of bullshit. however i have no professional experience with real languages. i'm smart, i even understand monads (let me know if you need me to explain them with a metaphor). any suggestions?

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:51

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

just start applying for jobs that use non-bullshit stacks

it's not like no java shop will ever look at you because you do python

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:53

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

mostly I would not consider a resume that had only plangs

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:54

DimpledChad: May 14, 2002; Rigging elections since '87.

there goes my dream of working for shaggar

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:55

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

I might overlook it for experience in the industry and certain related technology, but if ur like a regular old programmer im gonna go w/ the people who know java and c# already before you.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 18:59

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# ? May 13, 2024 19:08

DimpledChad: May 14, 2002; Rigging elections since '87.

kewl

# ? Apr 23, 2015 19:02

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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