Hogge Wild posted:

demonicon posted:

There isn't enough for the notion that it is somehow a lenders fault that someone borrowed too much money from him.

Cat Mattress posted:

Dear demonicon,

GREETINGS,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your contact from the International web site directory. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to it's esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person I can do business with and by the recommendations I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

I am Cat Mattress; the only Daughter of late Mr and Mrs Cat Blanket. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan,the economic capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discus on a business deal. When my mother died on the 21st October 1984, my father took me and my younger brother Cat Cushion special because we are motherless. Before the death of my father on 30th June 2002 in a private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of $12.500.000 (Twelve Million, five hundred thousand dollars) left in a suspense account in a local Bank here in Abidjan, that he used my name as his first Daughter for the next of kin in deposit of the fund.

He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth and some huge amount of money his business associates supposed to balance his from the deal they had that he was poisoned by his business associates, that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate management). Sir, we are honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.

1) To provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to.

2) To serve as the guardian of this since I am a girl of 26 years.

Moreover Sir, we are willing to offer you 15% of the sum as compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of this fund to your designate account overseas. please feel free to contact ,me

Anticipating to hear from you soon.
Thanks and God Bless.
Best regards.

Randler posted:

And by what criteria is Deutsche Bank German?

WarpedNaba posted:

The one about the Intel Officer's wife? The one who later on started complaining that he was doing the exact drat things the quote said he would?

I'm pretty sure that quoter is the most banned human on SA, but he does regularly post pragmatic and/or realistic content on D&D, so...

Segmentation Fault posted:

does anyone have a link to the big GIP post about military wives

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH posted:

Go ask the career development folks at the MPF. Also pimp the TMO folks and ask them.

The final answer comes from one of those two sources. And in the end you have a 50/50 chance of being told the wrong thing anyway.

But you asked for thoughts, and after smoking a bowl and contemplating things, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were USAF intel officers that I wouldn't line up outside the gas chambers if the fourth reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 28 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of fighter pilot gay bro'ness not by dudes that fly fighter jets, but other sperged out intel retard officers. He's going to start saying things like "Check, Rodge, Vector, Burner" and other associated lame as gently caress things, while also sometimes randomly wearing a flightsuit to work on Fridays despite his only flight time being the fam flight he poo poo his pants or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you. And there is a not too bad chance that it won't be with some good looking gal, but rather some dumb bitch enlisted intel girl that almost got a degree in psychology from her podunk state school before she decided she hated the taste of gargling frat sperm and dropped out and joined up to get a chance at being the hottest little twat in a windowless SCIF in Japan.

But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 3-4 kids he demands you squeeze out in repayment to the base model BMW 3 series he's going to buy you when he gets to his second assignment at Tinker AFB.

When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12, he'll be lording over you how his job and career come first, and pray he doesn't make more money than you because that'll come up everytime you sigh audibly at the dinner table where you two will passive aggressively try to grind down each others will to live and breathe.

By this point as a captain he's going to be TDY 1-2 months a year, where he's getting half assed hand jobs from third tier strippers on excursions with the least socially inept enlisted guys in his flight-- this is probably the point where his raging alcoholism will be so clear and obvious to you that you two will start fighting every saturday before kick off when his colleges football team inevitably will take a beating. This fight won't stop until his next TDY when the sweet release of his toothless stripper infidelities and lack of home presence gives you time to bust out your big giant purple *BZZZZZ* friend whenever those walking talking pants making GBS threads machines you call children fall asleep long enough to let you deaden the nerves in your clitoris.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, the one right before he pins on Major, and suddenly he'll be pressuring you into becoming a fundamentalist christian, and he'll delete all of his whores off of his facebook account and spend his home time posting image macros about 2nd amendment rights, and how jesus spoke english in the bible so these loving mexicans should too. At this point you two will be consigned to bi-annual loving, and only when you've drank enough cheap boxed wind to be able to stand the idea of him pounding away on you missionary style but still refusing to look you in the eyes.

This will also be the point when your oldest childs ADHD and pyromania are diagnosed, and one of your parents die. There is around a 85% chance one of you is going to be eating zoloft and klonopin out of loving pez dispensers, and waking up angry that the sweet release of death hasn't taken one of you out of this loveless hosed up marriage.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice drunken buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress almost chubby guys with spray on tans, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with all manner of different ethnicities of cock.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for HPV, and your intel officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from donating blood or sitting on a toilet seat.

You didn't get it from the Red Cross or a trip to the shitter.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an officers wives meeting which is a lovecraftian hell that makes my description of your future seem like Charlie's trip through the chocolate factory.

WarpedNaba posted:

I'm pretty sure that quoter is the most banned human on SA, but he does regularly post pragmatic and/or realistic content on D&D, so...

WarpedNaba posted:

The one about the Intel Officer's wife? The one who later on started complaining that he was doing the exact drat things the quote said he would?

I'm pretty sure that quoter is the most banned human on SA, but he does regularly post pragmatic and/or realistic content on D&D, so...

WarpedNaba posted:

I'm pretty sure that quoter is the most banned human on SA

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

No, that would be TenementFunster. I believe his rap sheet is at least 4 pages long now. And none of those entries are joke poo poo from past or present IK's, either.

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

No, that would be TenementFunster. I believe his rap sheet is at least 4 pages long now. And none of those entries are joke poo poo from past or present IK's, either.

Tony Homo posted:

That flour post reminded me that I used to use flour, since it's sorta lubricating, to masterbate to when I was a kid. And crisco. But it made a huge zit on my dick that I was so scared about that I actually showed my mom cause I thought it was cancer.

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

Enhydra Lutris posted:

The Sperm Whale (Physeter macrocephalus) is not actually a Whale despite its Name; it is a Toothed Whale; and is thus actually a species of Dolphin. The Echolocation [Clicking sound used by Sperm Whales to navigate in the Ocean) is the most powerful sound created by a living Creature.

Enhydra Lutris posted:

Whales have baleen because they eat Krill. Dolphins have teeth because they eat Fish and Cephalopods. A marine Mammal with baleen is a Whale; a marine Mammal with teeth is a Dolphin; unless it has four [4] legs; in this case it is a Pinniped (a Sea Lion if it has ears; a Seal if it does not). This is assuming that a Specimen has no fur; if it has fur then it may be one of any number of things; such as an Otter; or a retriever Dog.

Enhydra Lutris posted:

But I am not here to discuss baleen and teeth; I am here to discover facts about Sexual Intercourse via the Anus.

BurntCornMuffin posted:

Roundworm emerging from the spider that once hosted it.

http://i.imgur.com/VLkBu4m.gifv

Birb Katter posted:

Let the spider live drat it. It's only there to eat the bugs that you're freaked out about.

Chard posted:

Yeah I don't think that spider's going to be catching any more bugs, sorry to say.

Improbable Lobster posted:

And parasites eat the bugs that eat other bugs. The circle of death!

Senior Scarybagels posted:

It's the Ciiiiircle of deaaaath.
And it rules of us alllll~

Krispy Kareem posted:

In the real world, I'm pretty sure that's what Mufasa does to any male cubs that aren't Simba.



Now we know why Scar had no heirs.

Gorilla Salad posted:

I thought male lions would eat all the offspring that weren't theirs, too?

Sire Oblivion posted:

They do, I don't think they eat them though, just kill them.

Android Bicyclist posted:

That seems like a waste of perfectly good lion cub meat.

wayfinder posted:

Maybe it's just not his cub of tea

PleasingFungus posted:

syscall girl posted:

People need to stop calling this guy a troll. This is an entertainment website and this guy is entertaining the hell out of me.

PleasingFungus posted:

Enhydra Lutris posted:

I am not a boy; I am forty six (46) years old; I am a man. In addition I do not jack off; I do not enjoy the sensation.

Sour Diesel posted:

im permabanned poster redskinstomper58. i first started reading about the patriots when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "the patriot way" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "tommy's balls" and "i love making GBS threads inside deflated footballs" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of "ironic" style of cheating the patriots were all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "get" the patriot way to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.

SatansBestBuddy posted:

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

Please don't doxx me.

Wintermutant posted:

Say Nothing posted:

Medieval Medic posted:

I thought asian women would be used to tiny penises.

Breetai posted:

That's what you get for relying on personal anecdata.

Eox posted:

So... Dril is back?

DoctorWhat posted:

Enhydra Lutris posted:

It is the Sea Otter (Enhydra lutris) [not to be confused with the Marine Otter (Lontra felina)]; the Sea Otter is my favourite Animal. I chose it for my Account User Name because my Brother was creating the Account; He asked if I would prefer to be known as Rectal Bishop; I did not want to be known as Rectal Bishop; He said that I could not use my real [legal] Name because I would be stalked by Men; He proposed several crude and salacious alternatives; He said that I had thirty (30) seconds to choose a User Name and stop wasting his valuable time; and I was meditating on the Sea Otter (as I often do); so it was a natural choice.

cock hero flux posted:

That Works posted:

What's the purpose of the bolding?

That Works posted:

What's the purpose of the bolding?

anne frank fanfic posted:

*counting out FYAD Powers' posts*
YOSPOS Mod: One crybaby bitch meltdown.
FYAD Powers: That's not mine.
YOSPOS Mod: One crybaby bitch meltdown quoted by 7 separate YOSPOS members who have subsequently been probated from FYAD.
FYAD Powers: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
YOSPOS Mod: One copy of the crybaby bitch meltdown caused by the simplest of trolls by the most retarded GBS poster, PMed by said FYAD poster to lyle and his superfriends where it was quoted endlessly in an attempt to cover the ragetears with layers of anime irony.
FYAD Powers: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
YOSPOS Mod: One book, "Radio Fragments: Meltdowns Over All The Best Posters Going to Twitter And Those Remaining Turning Into Carebear Grammar Tards Is Our Bag Baby", by FYAD Powers.

Enhydra Lutris posted:

I think about Otters constantly; I love Otters. That is why my User Name is this; because I was thinking of the Sea Otter; it is incorrect though; it should be Enhydra lutris. My Brother mis-capitalised it. He is not Educated. I would like to own a Eurasian Otter (Lutra lutra) as a house pet (the Sea Otter is too large); they are intelligent and affectionate in the manner of a Dog and I believe that I could create a domesticated Population through careful breeding; but as I previously mentioned I do not have the financial means to establish a Habitat for the Intermediate Generations; furthermore my Brother will not allow it; He says that Mustelidae [the family including Otters; Minks; Badgers; Weasels; Ferrets; etcetera) stink; in fact He says that they stink like poo poo. This is untrue; they smell only of Musk unless they are dirty or not grooming themselves properly for some reason (e.g. [for example] stress due to inadequate housing.) I would discuss Otters more but it is Shabbos so I must leave. Thank You for having this Conversation with me. If you have any questions about Otters or other Animals; please post them in this Thread; I will attend to them to-morrow. If you do not have questions; I hope that your Week End is enjoyable; safe; entertaining; fun; social; unintimidating; quiet; tasteful; I hope that you are not endangered by any Riots.

That Works posted:

What's the purpose of the bolding?

That Works posted:

What's the purpose of the bolding?

Enhydra Lutris posted:

I do not eat shell fish or crabs; they are treyf; I am only allowed to eat creatures from the ocean that have both scales and fins; those are commonly defined as fishes; however it is forbidden to eat other creatures that are commonly defined as fishes (e.g. [for example] sharks; eels).

I was un able to change the orientation of the Nice and Normal boxes; there was so much stock on the shelves that it was necessary for some to be turned side ways in order to fit; I could not remove the stock to another shelf or put it on the floor; this would create a logistical issue and a health hazard; the only socially acceptable alternative was to purchase the excess boxes in order to make room; I do not like nuts (particles become trapped in my teeth; this requires excessive flossing); furthermore I could not afford to purchase all of the excess boxes; it would have cost me in excess of thirty (30) dollars; I only had ten (10) dollars to spend; I did not spend this; I have saved it for another outing.

I prefer riding on the train to riding on the bus; it is smoother; however it is often occupied by mentally un well people; on a previous ride a man told me that he was a world famous surfer; a neuro surgeon; a motivational speaker; a sculptor; it is not possible for one person to excel in all of these areas; they could not have enough time to do so; furthermore the carriages often smell like alcohol; excrement; sweat; urine; other; but this is also true of the bus. I took some photographs on the train yesterday. I will show them to you; though I have already posted them in other threads; I hope that this is allowed; and is not against the rules.









The last photograph is of the view from the window of the train.

I do not prefer Wool Worths to Coles; however it is on the road along which my brother drives to reach our house; he does not enjoy the super market; he says that he does not want to devote more time to it than he absolutely must; he says that it is strangling the economy and putting small providores out of business; he says that it is an evil industry.

I occupy my time by eating; sleeping (approx. nine [9] hours per day); walking long distances; posting on the internet forums; speaking with friends such as my brother and my homosexual face to face or via the telephone; reading magazines such as Reader's Digest; National Geographic; Vogue; Delicious; etcetera; creating illustrations for educational materials such as text books and exhibits; thinking about marine animals; researching the mechanics and sociology of homosexual intercourse via the anus; researching epileptiform disorders; practicing the Pianoforte; trapping and studying specimens in the wild; collecting insects; browsing collections of taxidermy on the internet and considering new items for my collection; etcetera. I have a busy and fulfilling life. My brother is a terse and impolite man; I must let him live with me because I own the house; my mother left it to me in her will when she died; my brother pays the important bills (electricity; internet; water; food; etcetera); I pay for my mobile telephone because I make many inter national phone calls to taxidermy suppliers and zoology experts; I am attached to him; I know that he is attached to me; he purchases thoughtful gifts for me; he bought this internet forum account for me; I do not know why he chose this web site and at times I question it; but it was a kind gift; it cost ten (10) dollars. Other things that he has purchased for me include compendiums of sheet music for my Pianoforte; stuffed animals; a toy otter; a coat of real fur from the Sable (Martes zibellina); attractively coloured tea cloths; a flower pot shaped like a Frog in which I grow sweet basil.

cock hero flux posted:

I was meditating on the Sea Otter (as I often do);

QUACKTASTIC posted:

a flower pot shaped like a Frog in which I grow sweet basil.