QUACKTASTIC posted:

One more

QUACKTASTIC posted:

One more

Enhydra Lutris posted:

I am Sorry for not attending to this forum thread for three (3) days as I was awarded a Probation. The Probation Banner is a violent colour (magenta); it called me a Horrible Monster; it was upsetting and I am glad that it has been removed. I am not a Horrible Monster. As I was saying before I was interrupted by the Moderators, I would like to know the physical sensations associated with Sexual Intercourse via the Anus; I am asking this question on a Forum rather than in the World because it is rude and salacious and I am uncomfortable discussing such topics with those people that I Know; in fact I have a Homo-sexual of my own; He and I do not discuss such topics as Sexual Intercourse; Attraction; Physiology; it embarrasses me. I am writing a Piece on Homo-sexual Behaviour in Animals; it follows that I need to know the sensation of Sexual Intercourse via the Anus; namely whether it is painful; or whether it is pleasurable; because it seems unusual in an evolutionary sense that an Organism such as a Human Being would seek out painful stimuli without some sort of benefit; but Sexual Intercourse via the Anus cannot result in Reproduction. I have never engaged in this Activity; I have only had Sexual Intercourse via the Vagina; which I did not enjoy. The Vagina emits Fluids of a peculiar Texture (similar to Mucus) and Smell (similar to curdled Cream). I hypothesise that Sexual Intercourse via the Anus would be painful in the manner of severe constipation where the stool is large enough to distend the Anus; which is a similar mechanism and very painful; my Brother says that it is very painful; He states that it is excruciatingly painful; but he is not a Homo-sexual and is not experienced in Sexual Intercourse via the Anus and furthermore is often wrong; He says that He has inserted Foreign Objects (e.g. [for example] Condiment Bottles; Root Vegetables; Clarinets; Hair Brushes; etcetera.); he says that the Anus stretches to accommodate them; but it is possible that He is lying; so I am reluctant to trust him. I have never been a Homo-sexual. Many of You are Homo-sexuals and their Carers. Please inform my research by sharing your Opinions on this Topic; and if you are familiar with Homo-sexual Behaviour in Animals; please report your Findings and Observations; only Primary Knowledge please; there are many Sources of Secondary Research that I may draw on such as this Page of the Wiki Paedia. I am Interested in all Animals but primarily Mammals with a particular Focus on marine Mammals; including the Common Bottlenose Dolphin (Tursiops truncatus); the Sea Otter (Enhydra lutris); the Fin Whale (Balaenoptera physalus); and others Do not waste your valuable Time on accumulating Secondary Sources for Me; I already have them all; I am looking for Primary Data only.

wheez the roux posted:

only a literal hitler would voluntarily give up cheese and eggs and anyone who does so should be treated with caution and contempt

DekeThornton posted:

Well, Hitler was a vegetarian, so it's pretty fair to assume vegans are basically double Hitlers.

wheez the roux posted:

We must secure the existence of our cuisine and a future for meat eaters.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Is this the one?

QUACKTASTIC posted:

Enhydra Lutris posted:

LawfulWaffle posted:

quote:

The Vagina emits Fluids of a peculiar Texture (similar to Mucus) and Smell (similar to curdled Cream).

quote:

He has inserted Foreign Objects (e.g. [for example]Condiment Bottles; Root Vegetables; Clarinets; Hair Brushes;etcetera.)

xthnru posted:

Don't listen to the haters, LP, I wish more folks with your income and access to parental wealth make the same responsible choice and die alone in the desert before they can procreate.

No, but seriously, you are going to loving die. This isn't a threadshit. You are going to die in the desert. You are not going to get 80 miles to the gallon, you are going to get heat stroke, it will be hours, best case scenario, before someone finds you and takes you to the closest hospital, that will be hours away, and even if they medivac you and somehow manage to save your idiot rear end, you will have cost the taxpayers tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, which will result in the local/state government cutting funding to mental health clinics, ensuring a whole new generation of Hobo Nicks will be around to tell privileged dumbfucks how to "hike" across one of the harshest climates on the planet.

You are going to die alone in the desert.

Do you accept Visa?

a7m2 posted:

Can't find the post where he said it but basically he's attempting to mimic emphasis used in "natural" speech. You know how when you talk you'll emphasise certain words? That, except really oddly. His reasoning was that even though we're writing, we're still engaging in conversation.

Kenny Logins posted:

If this is true then he is basically the Uncanny Valley of written communication. As it stands he sounds like he just barely passed the Turing test.

I would love to hear someone take a crack at recorded reading of his posts.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

I tried it a couple days ago and it ended up sounding like an Xtranormal video

Kenny Logins posted:

If this is true then he is basically the Uncanny Valley of written communication. As it stands he sounds like he just barely passed the Turing test.

I would love to hear someone take a crack at recorded reading of his posts.

Enhydra Lutris posted:

I must return to this Web Site; I spent ten (10) Dollars [American] on my Forum Registration; I have no other on-line Accounts. This is a rich resource of Primary Data about the Mechanics and Psychology of Sexual Intercourse via the Anus; because many of the Users here are Homo-Sexual; or have Homo-Sexuals of their own. It is very valuable to me. Ten (10) dollars [American] would not purchase a single Peer-Reviewed Journal Article. I do not have much Money; I am lonely. The formatting is intended to emphasise Words that are important; pertinent; crucial; technical; other. A similar Pattern is found in Speech; I am not speaking; I am typing; but We are still engaged in a Conversation. Though You cannot see Me; and I cannot see You.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Captain Monkey posted:

Goons fall all over some dude trying hard to be a forums superstar. News at 11.

Captain Monkey posted:

Goons fall all over some dude trying hard to be a forums superstar. News at 11.

Fabricated posted:

Cold on a Cob posted:

Hamburgler's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Fry Kid carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. McDonaldland is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of bbq sauce and when the drains finally scab over, all the McNugget Buddies will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and Grimace and Mayor McCheese will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

I'd take this bizarre gimmick over posters who do nothing but post "im gay" hundreds of times or the super edgy I'm-a-dick-to-everybody guy any day of the week.

Captain Monkey posted:

I would too, and I don't even dislike that dude, he's just a really obvious gimmick and it's funny to watch people fawn all over him because he looked up the scientific name for a few things. I actually kinda like the poster, because he reminds me of dril, but maybe not quite as good as dril was.

Kenny Logins posted:

There was this one for a kindergarten teacher who talked about a girl terrified of ice cubes

FactsAreUseless posted:

drat, this guy's so far above it all I think he might be a blimp.

FactsAreUseless posted:

drat, this guy's so far above it all I think he might be a blimp.

quote:

[the something awful forum] is a rich resource of Primary Data about the Mechanics and Psychology of Sexual Intercourse via the Anus

2house2fly posted:

How can you not fawn all over the guy who posts stuff like

FactsAreUseless posted:

Goons laugh at funny joke posts while sad man hates fun, self. Click for details.

2house2fly posted:

How can you not fawn all over the guy who posts stuff like

Oxxidation posted:

He posts like an Achewood character on Quaaludes.

Kenny Logins posted:

DorkusMalorkus posted:

zoux posted:

My name is Mr Giggles and I'm here to say
I want to gently caress a dog in a major way

kafziel posted:

name's dj woofles and i'm the son of a bitch / here to tell y'all organic chemistry gives me a natural itch / by which i mean chlamydia is up in these nuts / turns out german shepherds can transmit it to us

kafziel posted:

i'm little arf and i'm bad at rhymin
iambic pentameter straight outta stylin
but this ain't no english, it's chem 101
so this the story 'bout how i jacked a dog off for fun

NotAnArtist posted:

Big Yiff in this school reppin ap chem / y'all haters only clownin what they can't understand / forming bonds with a dachshund but they ain't covalent / yeah she bark a little bit but she ain't complainin

Mans posted:

I like it when goons rap

blarzgh posted:

All right Stop, Fur-abollate and listen,
Primpin' so hard, see my rear end-hole glisten
Sniffin Lab class is the place where I rightly
Confess to some minors that I gently caress my dog nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know
We turn off the lights and I grow
Stealin sniffs of the neighbor's dog like a vandal
Till I can yiff me some of that White Wolf in Sandals.

Chump Farts posted:

This comic has reached a level above autistic... it's autastic.

Mans posted:

That comic is still alive?

Mans posted:

That comic is still alive?

Mans posted:

I like it when goons rap

Artemis J Brassnuts posted:

I'm familiar with slant rhyming

Evilreaver posted:

wow it's called haiku you racist

Evilreaver posted:

wow it's called haiku you racist

The MSJ posted:

New posters just in time to stop another BenCumb derail.

Bloody Hedgehog posted: