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Holy poo poo I suck this year. 
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May 10, 2015 23:53
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Pittsburgh. My numbers really took a dive after the All-Star break, that really sucks.
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May 10, 2015 23:57
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Chaps college rival summing up his NHL career
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May 11, 2015 00:47
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Come on Buffalo, lets go party.
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May 11, 2015 02:59
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Another season of 20+ goals, 200+ hits, 50+ points and no playoffs for Crushinator. I think I might the player who is the best all-time at being just good enough to remain justifiably irrelevant
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May 11, 2015 03:59
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Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be enforcers
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May 11, 2015 04:52
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Did think tank just break Lanny's record???? Also, I'm of questionable origin (Canadian? Russian? Obscure and ridiculous Vladimir Nabokov reference?) so I may confuse Don more than anything else.
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May 11, 2015 14:14
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Lanny eat your heart out. Think has the record for most goals in a season without breaking 100 points. He can retire a happy hobo.
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May 11, 2015 14:32
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Hockles posted:That could be the only goon award *ahem* I think someone is forgetting the incredibly prestigious Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy. Think had 2 more goals than Lemur but managed 40 less points. He is the best.
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May 11, 2015 14:33
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ThinkTank posted:*ahem* I think someone is forgetting the incredibly prestigious Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy. You're the Ovie of our time.
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May 11, 2015 14:56
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Flyinglemur posted:You're the Ovie of our time. Except with a cup ring. Kiss the bindle bitch.
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May 11, 2015 16:06
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Traded. Concussed. Currently out of the playoffs. Not a good year for the ilk of Quincey P. Pepperdick. 
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May 11, 2015 16:08
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ThinkTank posted:Except with a cup ring. Fair enough. Sincerely, One of Lemur's MANY concubines
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May 11, 2015 20:00
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End of 2023-24 Season Update Playoff Results ARZ def EDM in 7 CGY def SJS in 6 LAK def DAL in 6 WPG def COL in 4 CAR def BUF in 5 TBL def MTL in 6 CBJ def OTT in 7 WSH def PHI in 7 CGY def ARZ in 7 WPG def LAK in 4 CAR def TBL in 5 WSH def CBJ in 6 CGY def WPG in 5 WSH def CAR in 6 CGY def WSH in 6 NHL Awards Stanley Cup Champions Calgary Flames Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record) Edmonton Oilers Clarence S. Campbell Bowl (Western Conference Champion) Calgary Flames Prince of Wales Trophy (Eastern Conference Champion) Washington Capitals Art Ross Trophy (Most Points) Connor McDavid -- Buffalo Sabres Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP) Connor McDavid -- Buffalo Sabres James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman) Aaron Athanatos -- Buffalo Sabres Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct) Connor McDavid -- Buffalo Sabres Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year) Will Orr -- Arizona Coyotes Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP) Alex Fotinos -- Calgary Flames Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender) Dylan Wells -- Dallas Stars William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against) Zachary Fucale -- Montreal Canadiens Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey) Ivan Provorov -- Montreal Canadiens Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward) Jack Eichel -- New Jersey Devils Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA) Connor McDavid -- Buffalo Sabres Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals) ThinkTank -- Philadelphia Flyers Comments Gallant keeps the cup in Canada, after defeating his former team in the WCF Athanatos brings home yet another Norris trophy ThinkTank does win the Rocket Richard http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2015 for Complete Stats Upcoming Free-Agents BUF -- Hockles (UFA) CGY -- L. Gallant (UFA) COL -- W. Van Steamsdyk (UFA) CBJ -- J. Longrod (UFA) LAK -- B. Bitdiddle (UFA) MIN -- T. Crushinator (UFA) NSH -- L. Alger (UFA) NJD -- W. Clarkson (UFA) NJD -- R. Picklechips (UFA) OTT -- I. Strelkov (UFA) PIT -- A. Kilza (UFA) STL -- P. Wang (UFA) TBL -- B. Banton (UFA) VAN -- J. Helar (UFA) VAN -- M. O'Leary (UFA) WSH -- J. Hilder (UFA) WPG -- S. Saskatanov (UFA)
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May 12, 2015 00:53
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May 12, 2015 01:04
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Wang gonna get PAAAAAAAID again
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May 12, 2015 01:06
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Those playoff stats make me feel less bad about myself. Maybe there is hope.  :
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May 12, 2015 01:11
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god dammit
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May 12, 2015 01:49
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Toronto needs a better goalie. Better trade Felix to a cup contender.
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May 12, 2015 01:53
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4 more Norris' to go.
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May 12, 2015 05:48
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Oh hey Edmonton won president trophy and got beat in the first round against a bad bottom seed, this is my suprised face. 
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May 12, 2015 07:26
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waiting for pictures of TKK representing Canada in a photo op with Prime Minister Notley
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May 12, 2015 10:09
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Fuckin rights, buds. The Cup is comin' back to the Island. See yas in Crapaud in July, lobster dinners on me. This one's fer my old coach, Isaac Doucette, god rest 'im. Southside Lynx represent!
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May 12, 2015 14:47
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Pleads posted:Fuckin rights, buds. The Cup is comin' back to the Island. See yas in Crapaud in July, lobster dinners on me. This one's fer my old coach, Isaac Doucette, god rest 'im. Southside Lynx represent! I'm about to do some major enforcing on your head. Unless you pay me.
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May 12, 2015 16:56
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If we somehow make it to 2034 I fully expect the twin brothers Derek Longrod and Tiger Longrod to break into the NHL as punchymen the names 
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May 12, 2015 16:58
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2024 Offseason News Notable Retired Players Anze Kopitar Jordan Staal Jonathan Toews Wayne Simmonds Bobby Ryan James Neal Claude Giroux Karl Alzner Patric Hornqvist James van Riemsdyk Max Pacioretty Kevin Shattenkirk TJ Oshie Lars Eller Cam Fowler Nick Spaling Logan Couture Cody Franson Jason Demers Nick Bonino Cam Atkinson Alex Killorn Borna Rendulic Andrei Loktionov Jonathan Quick Semyon Varlamov Michal Neuvirth Thomas Greiss Jhonas Enroth Karri Ramo Cam Talbot Transaction News BUF -- re-signed Hockles to a $47.6mil/5yr contract CGY -- re-signed L. Gallant to a $20.6mil/3yr contract CBJ -- re-signed J. Longrod to a $44.3mil/6yr contract LAK -- re-signed B. Bitdiddle to a $21.3mil/4yr contract MIN -- re-signed T. Crushinator to a 13mil/2yr contract NSH -- re-signed L. Alger to a $26.2mil/4yr contract NJD -- re-signed R. Picklechips to a $31.3mil/3yr contract OTT -- re-signed I. Strelkov to a $1.2mil/1yr contract PIT -- re-signed A. Kilza to a $27.6mil/4yr contract STL -- re-signed P. Wang to a $12.5mil/2yr contract TBL -- re-signed B. Banton to a $22.8mil/4yr contract VAN -- re-signed J. Helar to a $14.4mil/4yr contract VAN -- re-signed M. O'Leary to a $24.4mil/4yr contract WSH -- re-signed J. Hilder to a $57.1mil/8yr contract WPG -- re-signed S. Saskatanov to a $7.2mil/2yr contract DAL -- signed UFA W. van Steamsdyk to a $8.9mil/3yr contract TOR -- signed UFA W. Clarkson to a $2.2mil/1yr contract TBL -- signed Cody Ceci (85 OVR) to a 3yr contract NJD -- signed Sergey Zborovskiy (84 OVR) to a 3yr contract BOS -- signed Colin Wilson (83 OVR) to a 1yr contract BUF gets: Jeremy Helvig (88 OVR) and a prospect FLA gets: Tyler Ennis (87 OVR) & Murray Esche (83 OVR) Top 10 Forward Salaries
Top 5 Defenseman Salaries
Top 5 Goalie Salaries
Huge Salaries in AHL CHI -- Niklas Hjalmarsson (71 OVR) -- $3.990mil COL -- Calvin Pickard (83 OVR) -- $3.680mil DET -- Nick Foligno (79 OVR) -- $3.265mil WPG -- Alex Dubeau (86 OVR) -- $5.510mil WPG -- Bryan Little (79 OVR) -- $3.710mil 2024-25 Opening Night Info ARZ -- F. Lemur -- Starting Center BUF -- S. Samuelsson -- 4th Line Left Wing BUF -- A. Athanatos -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain BUF -- Hockles -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain CGY -- T. Kingston Kid -- Starting Center -- Alternate Captain CGY -- L. Gallant -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain CHI -- RC Cola -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain CHI -- S. Pepperdick -- Starting Goaltender CBJ -- R. Peters -- 2nd Line Center CBJ -- J. Longrod -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain DAL -- W. Van Steamsdyk -- 3rd Line Left Wing EDM -- E. Rutkowski -- 3rd Line Right Wing EDM -- R. McPhallus -- 2nd D-Pairing EDM -- Yokozuna -- Starting Goaltender FLA -- P. Sanchez -- Starting Right Wing -- Alternate Captain LAK -- S. McStabson -- Starting Right Wing LAK -- B. Bitdiddle -- Starting D-Pairing MIN -- T. Crushinator -- Starting Right Wing -- Alternate Captain MIN -- C. Buttworth -- Backup Goaltender MTL -- C. Clemens -- 2nd Line Center NSH -- L. Alger -- 2nd Line Left Wing -- Alternate Captain NSH -- Zip -- Starting Goaltender NJD -- R. Picklechips -- Starting Right Wing -- Alternate Captain NYR -- A. Robertson -- Starting Goaltender OTT -- S. Satonaka -- Starting Left Wing -- Alternate Captain OTT -- F. Stats -- 3rd Line Right Wing OTT -- I. Strelkov -- Backup Goaltender PHI -- ThinkTank -- Starting Left Wing -- Alternate Captain PHI -- E. Windros Jr -- 2nd Line Left Wing PIT -- A. Kilza -- Starting Goaltender STL -- P. Wang -- 2nd Line Left Wing -- Alternate Captain TBL -- B. Banton -- 2nd Line Right Wing TBL -- P. O'Bourke -- Starting D-Pairing TBL -- T. Delacour -- Starting Goaltender TBL -- H. Chavez -- Backup Goaltender TOR -- W. Clarkson -- 3rd Line Right Wing TOR -- F. Orphansbane -- Starting Goaltender VAN -- J. Helar -- Starting Right Wing VAN -- M. O'Leary -- Starting D-Pairing -- Alternate Captain WSH -- J. Hilder -- Starting Right Wing -- Alternate Captain WPG -- S. Saskatanov -- Starting Right Wing Line spreadsheet: http://bit.ly/1K4oTmQ Comments van Steamsdyk & Clarkson hit free agency and find new homes More goons are Alternate captains
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May 12, 2015 17:09
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Think deserves the C
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May 12, 2015 17:22
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I wish I had a tale of the tape to see how many fights I've won and lost
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May 12, 2015 17:27
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Looking at the career stats is pretty great. Think has a whopping 17 assists in 569 games, but has 364 goals. other notable stats: Fred Lemur (389g in 563 gms, .69 gpg) and ThinkTank (364g in 488gms; .64gpg) are closing in on 500 already  Potatoes O'Bourke leads goonery with 1603 PIM; 3.37 pim/gm in 475 games. The next closest for PIM are Ralph Waldo Picklechips (1176; 2.41 pim/gm in 487) and Ewic Windros Jr. (1066; 2.71 pim/gm in 394 games). Potatoes O'Bourke also leads +/- by a large margin with a 202+ in 475 games. ThinkTank is 154+ in 569gms, and Jamward Hilder is 123+ in 565 gms. John Longrod has the gmost GP with 655
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May 12, 2015 18:01
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THE MACHO MAN posted:Potatoes O'Bourke also leads +/- by a large margin with a 202+ in 475 games. Jesus, no wonder Tampa has been doing well for so long. Now I need to stop sucking rear end in net.
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May 12, 2015 18:06
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Aww yiss, BitDiddle finally plays the first line. Hello Doughty.
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May 12, 2015 18:36
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Rutkowski posted:Oh hey Edmonton won president trophy and got beat in the first round against a bad bottom seed, this is my suprised face. I put all blame squarely on the shoulders of everyone not named Yokozuna 
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May 12, 2015 18:47
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Hockles posted:2024 Offseason News Finally getting paid some good money. Now I just need for Pittsburgh not to suck.  Hockles posted:TOR -- signed UFA W. Clarkson to a $2.2mil/1yr contract  This is fantastic. 
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May 12, 2015 23:01
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Another season in Edmonton in the top four. Another likely first round playoff exit.  Free Roddy
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May 12, 2015 23:06
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I used to be poo poo, and now I'm worse
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May 12, 2015 23:10
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Did TJ Oshie's virtual son get recruited by the hometown Wild, because J. Oshie is a 2nd line winger Chap is the second coming of Kuemper as well, lost his goalie spot to Bombardir, who may or may not really enjoy moving about on frozen lakes
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May 12, 2015 23:15
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In this timeline SAS probably really hates me
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May 13, 2015 00:01
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Dubious posted:Did TJ Oshie's virtual son get recruited by the hometown Wild, because J. Oshie is a 2nd line winger The game generates the names of future draft picks randomly as soon they run out of CHL kids, which is how you end up with fine names like J. Oshie, Sanjay Crosby and Olli Aulie
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May 13, 2015 00:06
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checksin posted:The game generates the names of future draft picks randomly as soon they run out of CHL kids, which is how you end up with fine names like J. Oshie, Sanjay Crosby and Olli Aulie They at least use a deep database of past NHLers too, so there aren't like 8 Zetterbergs and Ovechkins running around
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May 13, 2015 01:56
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First line and alternate captain. Time to start punching mans for the team RC. They need grit now more than ever.
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May 13, 2015 02:32
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