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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mghxZzWVO7A
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May 8, 2015 00:18
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That poo poo is worse than I remembered. The news was also hilariously bad iirc.
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May 8, 2015 12:19
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From Terminal Lance's FB feed.
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May 15, 2015 10:54
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Wasabi the J posted:From Terminal Lance's FB feed. She forgot to post who she's married to.
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May 15, 2015 13:35
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PathAsc posted:She forgot to post who she's married to. He's deployed, so why would he need to see the ad?
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May 15, 2015 14:17
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Wasabi the J posted:He's deployed, so why would he need to see the ad? I meant so that the guys she's loving know who she is so they can be sure to get checked. Like she's gonna tell her husband, he'll find out when he's paying for a kid that's not his anyway.
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May 15, 2015 14:58
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The Jacksonville NC Craigslist personals section is a comedy gold mine. This picture doesn't surprise me at all.
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May 15, 2015 15:02
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Remembered another funtime story: One of the SNCOs at my first unit around 2004-2005 went full-on born again on us while trying to "clean up" his image prior to divorce proceedings. This meant any time we did runs there was no cursing, killing, or making alligator hide shoes or whatever because ~Jesus~. Also, instead of just saying it was just his "new way of life" he also said the Battalion Commander had requested that we all run more professionally (he sure as gently caress didn't). So, on the first week of this after 4 days of C-130, Back in 1775, clappin on the left foot, and dead loving silence we start having some fun. Started with 80's and 90's cartoon theme songs: Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony, Fraggle Rock, etc. We didn't get halfway through the run when dude turns the formation around and heads back to the shop. Once there, our steely-eyed warrior leader launches into the most glorious hate-filled rant about how we don't repect him, his life choices, the Battalion, Company, shop, ourselves, "MY BELOVED CORPS  ", the war, or these fine states that we protect. Then it's how we're going to be the reason "them sand pirate arabs" are going to mow us all down in short order because we're "undisciplined fucks" and not worth "the salt in our daddy's cum."Jesus wept that day, because this guy forgot he was born again I guess. Also, he lost his kids because he was an abusive alcoholic and the judge didn't miss that fact. Good times.
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May 15, 2015 15:50
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Storytime part two: This guy at the next shop I was at was something like 26, had no license, paid none of his own bills, was a colossal alcoholic, and broke drat near anything he touched. We called him "henny" in the same way that "timmy" is pronounced on the most glorious of shows: South Park. Henny took this as a sign of affection, and not that he was the colossal fuckup, even after I took him aside and explained it to him. Even after telling him multiple times he wasn't allowed in my shop and to go elsewhere. Even after he was assigned to count and label paint cans in the hazmat locker as his only responsibility. Henny would knock on my door at 2 or 3 am every other morning in a drunken stupor wanting to talk. I would pray nightly for the barracks to have outward swinging doors someday so that I could kick it open and knock him off the 3rd deck. Henny thought getting "Henny" tattooed in cursive/script lettering on his forearm was just the coolest thing because "we gave him such a nice nickname and liked him and thank you for such a cool nickname guys." Henny was trying to forge a knife in the bbq pit a block away, so he wouldn't get caught making weapons or something, and would bury it in a folgers can next to the grill. In his own words "I come from a long line of metalsmiths, PathAsc, I can make this razor harder than it is now." This being said about a straight razor he got at the PX that was discolored as gently caress and warped to poo poo. My best guess is he took a butane torch and some stolen ball peen hammer to it. He brought his knife he was forging to the barracks at one point to show us, which he had "hidden" in more moist dirt inside the folgers can. We sent this stunning individual to 8th Crime Bn, at which point he was denied re-enlistment and sent back to his dad in Texas. Some dreams do come true.
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May 15, 2015 16:42
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Perennial fuckup didn't show up to work again, nobody can reach him. Maybe he'll get hit with actual consequences this time but I doubt it.
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May 16, 2015 15:27
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Casimir Radon posted:Perennial fuckup didn't show up to work again, nobody can reach him. Maybe he'll get hit with actual consequences this time but I doubt it. What's the most likely story fuckup is going to give?
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May 16, 2015 17:30
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PathAsc posted:What's the most likely story fuckup is going to give?
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May 16, 2015 17:35
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Just had some boot tell me that I didn't rate to shop at the base c store because I'm a civilian. He was in chucks with a nasty defence ribbon. I laughed all the way to the checkout counter while he yelled at me with some type of assumed authority to put my case of beer back.
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May 16, 2015 18:10
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Did the boot get dropped on its head by its drill instructor?
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May 16, 2015 18:30
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I didn't stick around to find out. The beach was calling my name and being quite insistent. It just amazes me when I run into someone who doesn't realize that retired folk and civilians have access to a lot of the base.
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May 16, 2015 22:22
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from reddit: http://www.snstiw.com/?p=25 quote:So no poo poo there I was, teaching a class on how to clean a Fleshlight out after use to an entire platoon of marines. They’d given each other chlamydia. quote:The platoon leader had his head in his hands. I sympathized. I too was wondering what the hell I had done so wrong in life that this is what I was doing at this exact moment.
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May 17, 2015 00:46
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Jesus loving christ that site.
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May 17, 2015 00:56
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terrez posted:from reddit: 
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May 17, 2015 04:18
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terrez posted:from reddit:
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May 17, 2015 04:28
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Let's Talk About Mil FanFic (and also Cole)!
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May 17, 2015 04:32
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Some idiot from maintenance got drunk at COMBAT HAMMER and sexually assaulted someone.
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May 17, 2015 04:59
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OZYMANDICKASS posted:Let's Talk About Mil FanFic (and also Cole)! drat you callin out lcl-dead huh?
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May 17, 2015 05:02
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:drat you callin out lcl-dead huh? 
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May 17, 2015 05:05
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OZYMANDICKASS posted:Let's Talk About Mil FanFic (and also Cole)! I missread this as something involving cole and milf fanfics
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May 17, 2015 05:24
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Another guy almost missed the flight home because he was passed out drunk in a Denny's toilet.
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May 17, 2015 17:02
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OZYMANDICKASS posted:Let's Talk About MilF's
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May 17, 2015 17:24
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Everything I did in the Air Wing was practically mil-LARP. Heard a story about two reservists trying to dump Panda Express in to their opened MRE bags and resealing them with those handheld chip resealers when they had to do a 2 day ruck march. One of them got real bad food poisoning from it.
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May 17, 2015 17:31
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Casimir Radon posted:Some idiot from maintenance got drunk at COMBAT HAMMER and sexually assaulted someone. Casimir Radon posted:Another guy almost missed the flight home because he was passed out drunk in a Denny's toilet. That's more the poo poo I'd expect from a trip to the Redneck Riviera for Combat Archer, not a TDY to scenic Ogden for Hammer. Well I mean someone from mx sexually assaulting someone is pretty much a given for any trip I guess.
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May 17, 2015 23:02
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When ALLIED STRIKE was a thing, without fail every year one of the JTACs would get shmammered and piss in someone's bunk. Once or twice while someone was sleeping in it. I've sat and pondered the fact that I've been so drunk I've been on the verge of hospitalization, but never walked over to someone else's bunk and pissed into it. I really feel like I've been doing something wrong all my life.
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May 18, 2015 10:07
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Wild T posted:When ALLIED STRIKE was a thing, without fail every year one of the JTACs would get shmammered and piss in someone's bunk. Once or twice while someone was sleeping in it. I've sat and pondered the fact that I've been so drunk I've been on the verge of hospitalization, but never walked over to someone else's bunk and pissed into it. I really feel like I've been doing something wrong all my life. Get like 3/4 of the way blacked, walk over to someone's bunk that deserves it and go to town. You are way over thinking this.
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May 18, 2015 10:53
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Wasabi the J posted:He's deployed, so why would he need to see the ad? At least she isn't something worse than a whore, like a Brony, for example. 
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May 18, 2015 11:00
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:drat you callin out lcl-dead huh? If I were writing milfanfic I would have at least promoted myself to corporal er someshit.
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May 18, 2015 11:35
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LtCol J. Krusinski posted:At least she isn't something worse than a whore, like a Brony, for example. You know how the biggest 'phobes calling for the death of gays nearly invariably ends up being lust-filled twink-fuckers? They're gonna find you swingin' from your own belt on a door knob loving a rainbow colored horse dildo.
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May 18, 2015 12:41
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Wasabi the J posted:You know how the biggest 'phobes calling for the death of gays nearly invariably ends up being lust-filled twink-fuckers? They're gonna find all those kids in your crawl space someday, wasabi. I assure you. You being a pedophile.. Does that give you moral injury? I'm sure it hurts others, morally. Especially the kids. Buy not people who tolerate and accept you and your ilk, I guess, you sick piece of poo poo. When was the last day and time you watched MLP? If it's been more than a year than I'll take  of 6 hours probation.. Reason: "Don't tap the glass at the Brony Pedo exhibit, in this here zoo we call life, you intolerant piece of privilege abusing poo poo."
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May 18, 2015 12:58
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Wasabi the J posted:You know how the biggest 'phobes calling for the death of gays nearly invariably ends up being lust-filled twink-fuckers? Also I got nothing against homosexuality. I wish I could be attracted to dudes so I could gently caress and watch football and play Xbox instead of antiquing and watching the leaves change in the fall with my hot wife and her non child stretched awesome vagjna I smash out on the reg, oh wait nope I don't wish I were gay but I got nothing against it. Oh well. Pedos like you? I have problems with that. How much Start Trek:TNG have you watched? Lately?
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May 18, 2015 13:04
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You two missed the mandatory safety stand-down and post deployment PTSD screening. Which one of you is ashamed of beating up the Taiwanese ladyboy after consensual sex and is taking it out on your ~brothers in arms~?
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May 18, 2015 14:29
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iyaayas01 posted:That's more the poo poo I'd expect from a trip to the Redneck Riviera for Combat Archer, not a TDY to scenic Ogden for Hammer. They can't go anywhere without something dumb happening. See: Guy wakes up in a ditch with no pants on.
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May 18, 2015 15:38
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I had a roommate get blackout drunk and come stumbling back to the room at around 2200 one Saturday night. Took him about 20 minutes to finish flailing around the room trying to get undressed enough to go to bed, ended up getting stuck between his desk and the wall for about 5 minutes at one point. I woke up around midnight when I heard him get out of bed. He made it about a foot from his rack before he encountered a pile of his laundry and decided that was a better choice than the bathroom another two feet away and started just pissing on his clothes. About 6 hours later, he flopped out of bed to get ready for duty, and apparently remembered nothing of his midnight head call because I heard him plaintively wail "Why are all of these clothes wet?" before stumbling to his wall locker to try to find a dry skivvy shirt. I waited about a week before telling him as I moved out.
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May 18, 2015 16:08
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LtCol J. Krusinski posted:Also I got nothing against homosexuality. I wish I could be attracted to dudes so I could gently caress and watch football and play Xbox instead of antiquing and watching the leaves change in the fall with my hot wife and her non child stretched awesome vagjna I smash out on the reg, oh wait nope I don't wish I were gay but I got nothing against it. Oh well. I dunno man, I make gay jokes (e: Like we are gay jokes, not gay jokes) with my mates because I am really comfortable in my hetrosexuality. You seem to be arcing up hard about fags and pedos... Makes you think. Spacman fucked around with this message at 16:35 on May 18, 2015 |
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May 18, 2015 16:33
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Spacman posted:I dunno man, I make gay jokes (e: Like we are gay jokes, not gay jokes) with my mates because I am really comfortable in my hetrosexuality. Just the pedos, mate. Like wasabi.
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May 18, 2015 17:27
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