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# ? May 28, 2024 14:39 |
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The most inefficient killer
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EmmyOk posted:I guess the author wrote in the third person I'm embarrassed that it took me a while to understand [Name] Pizza meant that the store is called Name Pizza and not like, the name of the person telling the story. So a guy is going to slit the wrists of that person? Why in the world would they go for the wrists?
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Postal Parcel posted:So a guy is going to slit the wrists of that person? Why in the world would they go for the wrists? Duh, to make it look like a suicide. It's the perfect crime.
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flosofl posted:Duh, to make it look like a suicide. It's the perfect crime. FW:FW:FW:FW: A NEW GANG TECHNIQUE! WATCH OUT!!! IF YOU'RE WALKING HOME ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, WATCH OUT FOR ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT YOU. THEY ARE CARRYING A KNIFE AND WILL CUT YOUR WRISTS TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU COMMITTED SUICIDE! THIS IS A NEW GANG INITIATION TECHNIQUE! THE BEST WAY TO PROTECT YOURSELF IS TO HAVE ALREADY SLIT YOUR WRISTS AND HAVE SCARS!! PLS FORWARD AND BE SAFE! XOXO
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Postal Parcel posted:FW:FW:FW:FW: A NEW GANG TECHNIQUE! WATCH OUT!!! Sharing because you never know! Better safe than sorry! Makes you think!
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Because he saw that I had already tried to kill myself and was obviously immortal!
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And that serial murderer... was Peter Pan.
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Marley Wants More posted:Sharing because you never know! Better safe than sorry! Makes you think! ![]()
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![]() It's like you guys aren't even trying...
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![]() ibntumart has a new favorite as of 07:49 on May 21, 2015 |
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Rudager posted:
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It's so hot when a girl masturbates you.
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So why leave a place where the boss is so into your carpet munching she gave you a huge raise and promotion? Wait, I know. She told her supervisor, who couldn't wait for that all-important first meeting where you'd get to 'show your stuff'. That super was a man. Albert Einstein, to be exact.
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Tales From an Inner City Highschool Yes, Le-a is in there. Yes, he's sooo willing to give his all, despite how the SYSTEM is FAILING these inner city kids with GOOD HEARTS.
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See? Sexual harassment in the workplace is a good, natural thing, anyone who isn't down to go to down is just not ambitious enough to want a promotion.
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The Amazing Atheist is looking really good, I guess the banana & coffee diet really does work.
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dijon du jour posted:And that serial murderer... was Peter Pan. ![]()
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Vindolanda posted:Tales From an Inner City Highschool Argh I was about to post that. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yayyyyyyyy imgur
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So the officer was knocked unconscious and then started snoring? ![]()
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Does anyone have the vid with the SA rolleyes emoji where a giant one is vomiting out little ones because its necessary for this thread.
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![]() This doesn't even make sense The other ones are all I'm a misunderstood hero but that one's just stupid.
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Zaphod42 posted:
It was raining outside, you see. And instead of evacuating his students to safety, he was all "THE BELL DOESN'T DISMISS YOU, I DISMISS YOU" despite claiming to want to take a bullet for his kids in another event that definitely happened, yessir.
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Everblight posted:It was raining outside, you see. And instead of evacuating his students to safety, he was all "THE BELL DOESN'T DISMISS YOU, I DISMISS YOU" despite claiming to want to take a bullet for his kids in another event that definitely happened, yessir. Actually, I think the argument there is: "The administration doesn't care that this is no longer a safe learning environment, so now I have to teach you while holding an umbrella. Still STDH though.
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Drunk Tomato posted:So the officer was knocked unconscious and then started snoring? It's possible for an unconscious person to have snoring (technically gurgling) respirations, depending on how they were hit and if they slumped over. I wouldn't call it the No. 1 sign of unconsciousness, that's "being knocked the gently caress out."
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:Does anyone have the vid with the SA rolleyes emoji where a giant one is vomiting out little ones because its necessary for this thread. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfelqZpapZA
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Big Grunty Secret posted:It's possible for an unconscious person to have snoring (technically gurgling) respirations, depending on how they were hit and if they slumped over. I wouldn't call it the No. 1 sign of unconsciousness, that's "being knocked the gently caress out." For amusing examples of this, go to youtube and search for g-loc training. Or click this link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjg6mRFzZzE
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Max posted:Actually, I think the argument there is: "The administration doesn't care that this is no longer a safe learning environment, so now I have to teach you while holding an umbrella. Still STDH though. I can confirm that, other than the umbrella, this has happened. The roof was leaking, and the administration would not allow any teacher to dismiss or move classes due to the leaks, which led to a ceiling tile breaking directly over my teacher's head, dumping water on her and the (plugged in and turned on) overhead projector. That same day, the gym/basketball court was flooded and the band room's walls were soaked, destroying hundreds of thousands of dollars of acoustic treatment panels. It took them two more years to fix the roof, involving a threatened lawsuit against the school for creating an unsafe environment and then another one against the contractor doing the roof repairs for running the tar kettles during the day directly outside the classrooms. This was in an upper-middle-class suburb where the school was often overfunded - the administration was just that lovely.
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drat it, I was sure this stupid fad was over.
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Kugyou no Tenshi posted:I can confirm that, other than the umbrella, this has happened. The roof was leaking, and the administration would not allow any teacher to dismiss or move classes due to the leaks, which led to a ceiling tile breaking directly over my teacher's head, dumping water on her and the (plugged in and turned on) overhead projector. That same day, the gym/basketball court was flooded and the band room's walls were soaked, destroying hundreds of thousands of dollars of acoustic treatment panels. It took them two more years to fix the roof, involving a threatened lawsuit against the school for creating an unsafe environment and then another one against the contractor doing the roof repairs for running the tar kettles during the day directly outside the classrooms. This was in an upper-middle-class suburb where the school was often overfunded - the administration was just that lovely. I was about to get into a "Man, its the same everywhere, public schools just don't have enough funding ![]()
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Fathis Munk posted:I was about to get into a "Man, its the same everywhere, public schools just don't have enough funding ...be a government employee?
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Fathis Munk posted:I was about to get into a "Man, its the same everywhere, public schools just don't have enough funding You just pee pee doo doo and the rest will take care of itself???
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I want this one to be true just because writing it would likely have been a nice break from the regular correspondence. Maybe I'll write to the Queen. Wish her the best with a new princess crawling around.
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Can somebody find that hilarious Regina Spektor stdh for me please?
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No link to the thread, unfortunately, but here's the post.quote:I doubt many people are going to believe me, but here's the story anyway. I warn you now that this is pretty long.
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hyperhazard posted:No link to the thread, unfortunately, but here's the post. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2701257&pagenumber=62&perpage=40#post376009012 That's the earliest I can find. I'm not sure if the links for the quote will come up for people with plat/archives
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# ? May 28, 2024 14:39 |
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Avenging_Mikon posted:I want this one to be true just because writing it would likely have been a nice break from the regular correspondence. Maybe I'll write to the Queen. Wish her the best with a new princess crawling around. TBH that one's just dull enough to be true, it's the ones where the official has recounted every single one of the senders wacky statements/demands/questions and returned the one wacky thing they sent that are the definite fakes. If the person sending the original letter was a kid (or at least seemed to be) I can well see the palace sending something nice like that back. (FWIW the headed paper and signature are also genuine, googling Sonia Bonici will find you hundreds of replies from her to correspondents of varying degrees of sanity - I'd imagine that she has a thousand stories that would scream STDH if she were ever to share them)
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