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Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



Engineer Lenk posted:

Lower expenses with no childcare, though.

Absolutely, but childcare is 300 or 350 a month right now, right? From sister? That's why he needs to, once he gets an offer, actually do the math on the budget -- also don't forget what he'd have to pay to add his wife and kid to the health insurance his job offers, and compare it to the wife's current health insurance, etc.

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Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
Thanks everyone it felt really good to have him tell me and another partner that they will be making an offer. Cracking the coding interview book helped. I've become far more comfortable with interviews.

If the offer comes we will make a budget. There is always the option of my wife transferring within JC Penney, so we don't necessarily have to lose an income.

The wage will be heavily incentive based, and how much money I make will probably fall on how much I want to work. The structure is base plus guaranteed bonuses, plus discretionary bonuses based on deliverables or accomplishments. Career wise this move would be huge. I would learn far more in one year at this new company than my current work place. I'd guess there will be good benefits too.

So... We'll see what happens this week. It's hard to say where I stand without an offer and a budget

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 18:04 on May 23, 2015

SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X
Why don't you make a budget now? Shouldn't it be current budget, line by line, times COL multiplier, plus resetting childcare to a real cost? That way you won't get stoked and impulsive when they offer you 1.5x, while COL is 1.5x. I'm surprised this hasn't been done already frankly.

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



Knyteguy posted:

The wage will be heavily incentive based, and how much money I make will probably fall on how much I want to work. The structure is base plus guaranteed bonuses, plus discretionary bonuses based on deliverables or accomplishments. Career wise this move would be huge. I would learn far more in one year at this new company than my current work place. I'd guess there will be good benefits too.

I am very concerned about the work hours involved here and how that will affect your happiness levels. I don't want you to end up in a place where you're isolated from your family and working 80-hour weeks and never seeing your kid or something.

I assume you've done billables work before and know how many hours of billable work you normally do in an 8-hour day? How many hours would you do in a 40-hour week?

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

SiGmA_X posted:

Why don't you make a budget now? Shouldn't it be current budget, line by line, times COL multiplier, plus resetting childcare to a real cost? That way you won't get stoked and impulsive when they offer you 1.5x, while COL is 1.5x. I'm surprised this hasn't been done already frankly.

I'll try to tonight I've got the baby now. The company seems confident I could make $105,000 (what I asked for) as long as I bring deliverables to the table. More if I don't want to leave at 5 everyday. One guy billed 200 hours over what he needed to in a quarter. And bonuses pay the end of the following month. Adjusting to San Diego I make about $85,000 right now, so it's not SF levels of expensive.

Horking I'm not worried too much about working too much. I can be pretty driven, and it wont be forever if I take it.

Hey and big thanks to all of you who motivated me and helped me get this job. I'm still not committing to taking it until I know more, but this is a very cool opportunity regardless.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:14 on May 23, 2015

SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X
200 billable hours is somewhere between 60-70hr/wk. That sounds lovely. You have a kid and a wife... I work to live, not live to work. And I work way too much at 42-55hr/wk...

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



Knyteguy posted:


Horking I'm not worried too much about working too much. I can be pretty driven, and it wont be forever if I take it.


You have a terrible track record for not worrying about things you probably should be taking more seriously.

Also what happened to the other interviews you were doing? Am I correct in assuming the recruiter stopped bringing you interviews as soon as you looked like you were going to get an offer from one place?

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
Well something to consider is I've worked long hours before. I used to do 80-90 hours as a cable guy for comparative peanuts (exploitative piece work). We were married then too. I also did quite a bit of long hour stuff at a sheet metal shop. I wouldn't have to work those hours either it would be optional.

I'm not not taking it seriously I haven't even had time to think it over much. I'm definitely open to input.

I'm still getting interview offers yes

And just to clarify he said an average deliverable would probably take 500 hours, so that's just 12 normal work weeks and a small amount of change. Anything beyond that would be extra money. Gotta see the offer to really work stuff out.

Assuming I work 9-5 with no extra discretionary bonuses may be the way to budget, so anything extra would be gravy and not relied upon.

What kind of rent should we budget for? That's the biggest difference between here and there, and state tax.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:56 on May 23, 2015

SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X

Knyteguy posted:

Assuming I work 9-5 with no extra discretionary bonuses may be the way to budget, so anything extra would be gravy and not relied upon.

What kind of rent should we budget for? That's the biggest difference between here and there, and state tax.
I wouldn't ever budget with bonuses, ever. I have a guaranteed bonus that is usually double the base bonus, and I don't consider it in my budget. I treat it like a windfall and spend part and save part.

Look on PadMapper for an apartment near the office maybe? Or Zillow/Truela rental?

How many pets are you at currently? My understanding is SD is a harder area to rent with pets at, so you may want to get a doctors note. I still wouldn't rent at a place that doesn't accept pets even with a note, but it excuses additional deposit and pet rent.

RheaConfused
Jan 22, 2004

I feel the need.
The need... for
:sparkles: :sparkles:
You keep saying you've worked long hours before, but you didn't have a child before.

You can't ever get the first year of your child's life back, remember that.

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



Knyteguy posted:

And just to clarify he said an average deliverable would probably take 500 hours, so that's just 12 normal work weeks and a small amount of change. Anything beyond that would be extra money. Gotta see the offer to really work stuff out.

How many billable hours are in a 40-hour work week?

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
I'd think figure 1.5hr@ work for every 1hr billed - if not more.

Dude don't take this job, this is a terrible decision for a million reasons. Stay where you are and find a new local job or remote job. Stop trying to talk yourself into a very bad situation.

interrodactyl
Nov 8, 2011

you have no dignity

Knyteguy posted:

Well something to consider is I've worked long hours before.

Well something to consider is that you have a kid.

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



n8r posted:

I'd think figure 1.5hr@ work for every 1hr billed - if not more.

Dude don't take this job, this is a terrible decision for a million reasons. Stay where you are and find a new local job or remote job. Stop trying to talk yourself into a very bad situation.

I don't think it's necessarily a terrible decision, but I think it's not a no-brainer to accept.

Eris
Mar 20, 2002
And that your wife has a kid, and will be alone with that kid, and no family, for long hours every day.

Rudager
Apr 29, 2008

Knyteguy posted:

Well something to consider is I've worked long hours before. I used to do 80-90 hours as a cable guy for comparative peanuts (exploitative piece work). We were married then too. I also did quite a bit of long hour stuff at a sheet metal shop. I wouldn't have to work those hours either it would be optional.

I'd put :10bux: down that this is going to turn out to be incorrect in that they're not going to state that you have to work those hours, but it will be expected.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Rudager posted:

I'd put :10bux: down that this is going to turn out to be incorrect in that they're not going to state that you have to work those hours, but it will be expected.

Well they said one guy had 200 more billable than another. I'll answer the rest of the Qs after contemplation

Rudager
Apr 29, 2008

Knyteguy posted:

Well they said one guy had 200 more billable than another. I'll answer the rest of the Qs after contemplation

Just remember that they're selling you on the job as much as you're selling yourself to them. They're not going to volunteer information about themselves that makes the company look like a lovely place to work at.

EDIT: I just re-read what you wrote and I assume you're talking monthly figures when you say 200 more. You realise if that's the case they're saying that someone billed basically an entire full time job and a bit extra over some other guy (~45 hours/week), and if you add in 30% for unbillable hours, that's 60 loving extra hours per week, or 8.5 hours per day, EVERY day Monday to Sunday for an entire month. That guy must have been living in the office working 16-17 hour days to do that.

Surely you saw in the Slo-Mo thread how hard it was to bill over 200 hours in a month, even when you really really really want to.

Rudager fucked around with this message at 09:42 on May 24, 2015

BloodBag
Sep 20, 2008

WITNESS ME!



I've worked 60's and weekends while my wife was a stay at home housewife with no hobbies and no friends and holy poo poo you don't want that trouble; being the only social contact. When my wife took up sewing and eventually got a retail job things got so much better just because she had an outlet and someone to talk to besides me. Echoing what the others have said, working over 55 hours a week for years on end is loving miserable, but the norm for machining, but it still wears you down. I can't imagine trying to raise a kid that way, but a lot of guys at work do it. A lot of their kids are real hellions getting into lots of trouble because they don't have a father figure at home shaping their personality for more than 30 minutes a day after work and commuting has taken all their energy.

SpelledBackwards
Jan 7, 2001

I found this image on the Internet, perhaps you've heard of it? It's been around for a while I hear.

Rudager posted:

EDIT: I just re-read what you wrote and I assume you're talking monthly figures when you say 200 more. You realise if that's the case...

Well, read it again then. He said 200 extra across a quarter. It's still a lot, but not nearly as grueling as what you're saying.

Knyteguy posted:

The company seems confident I could make $105,000 (what I asked for) as long as I bring deliverables to the table. More if I don't want to leave at 5 everyday. One guy billed 200 hours over what he needed to in a quarter.
...
Horking I'm not worried too much about working too much. I can be pretty driven, and it wont be forever if I take it.

KG: I agree with the recent posts that calling that extra work optional could easily be a stretch of the truth by the employer not telling the while story.

The guy doing 200 more than the other is likely some superstar employee with no family and/or a lot of drive. I'm sure they love him. What we really don't know is how management views the other guy who did the "normal" amount of hours. Maybe he's not an average/effective employee as far as reviews go. Maybe he's doing the absolute last he can to scrape by and would be the first on the chopping block if it came down to it. We don't know.

Insert reference to Office Space and minimum pieces of flair.

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



SpelledBackwards posted:

Well, read it again then. He said 200 extra across a quarter. It's still a lot, but not nearly as grueling as what you're saying.


With a 130 minimum, it sounds like that guy was stil. nearing 200/month in total billables, which basically screams "I am a workaholic with no family and probably on coke" to me.

30 hours/week in billables looks like maybe 45 hours/week in the office, according to n8r's estimate of 1.5 hours in the office per billable, so rounding up definitely looks like you'd be signing on for a 50-60/hr workweek, which I'm not 100% sure is the best career move you should make when you have a new baby.

How does time off factor into this? SlowMo didn't get paid time off (he got paid purely on billables).

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
http://www.law360.com/articles/580412/how-to-hit-your-billable-hours-and-still-have-a-life

And a lot of my job would be incentive based not billable, since a lot of the deliverables would be for internal use. My potential peer, who is a developer, is billing nothing right now since it's all internal R&D (which they eventually hope to make money on). We would take over that team together, but I would bill some since I have experience with their bread and butter stuff (x++). I wouldn't be a classic consultant, and basically I was told that once I meet these incentives discretionary billable work would come naturally. My responsibilities would include some billing, but I don't think that 130 hour figure would be expected since they want me on internal stuff.

I do bill now, but it's very lax. I work for 8 hours I bill for 8 hours. This is an agreement with this specific company I work for however.

Now that we've pointed out that I have a kid, it's important to note that I don't plan on being here for 5-10 years if I take it. As far as vacation goes I don't know I will see what the offer says. I'm pretty sure it's a similar situation to SloMo. SloMo did hit his billable hour goals sometimes, but wasn't he in the hole something like 300 hours of vacation or more? And he was allocated vacation I think so that means that wasn't even the total amount of hours taken. One of his problems (and mine sometimes) was dedication IIRC.

I don't mind being a workaholic now if it means getting out of debt, and getting some investments started. poo poo one of my huge goals is financial independence which would mean all the time in the world. There's also possibilities such as becoming partner, becoming a director (the partner I spoke to during the interview specifically mentioned this one to me), etc. I wouldn't necessarily shoot for those, but I could. Plenty of lawyers have to hit billable hours and I'm sure it sucks, but it could mean a lot for me and my family down the line. I've started business before that required working from 8:00am to 3:00am; I'm not afraid of hard work or long hours.

My wife and I have started scoping out some places in SD. Encinitas is loving beautiful, but I think the commute would be a little brutal. Having animals limits our options, but there are still lots of places on the market (some within walking distance of the work). If we like the offer and I take the job, then we'll need to figure out if we want a house or an apartment. One apartment complex actually had a little dog park inside the building as an amenity, so we shouldn't have to rule out anything.

Oh and for my wife to socialize with someone other than me she was looking at mom groups. They do play dates and stuff and who knows what else. I am leaning towards this job since it's a huge step up for my career I think. The company is expanding rapidly right now, it'd be cool to see what it's like living in another city (and the mom stuff I've cleared up before, but just to do it again I had an extensive conversation with her, and she's OK with me moving, and in fact is doing much better mentally than she has been), etc etc. I totally disagree with you guys when you say I'm being impulsive. I'm thinking over the possibilities, and I'm not going to just jump on this since it sounds cool on the surface.

Inept
Jul 8, 2003

How are you accounting for the likely fact that you won't make much/any more than you do now after accounting for cost of living and increased taxes?

I'm guessing your answer is "work more". Be careful, you may not always be able to. They just might straight up run out of work for you, or you may realize that they want too much work for the increased pay.

Whitlam
Aug 2, 2014

Some goons overreact. Go figure.
Hi KG. Normally I just lurk, but I think it bears repeating: remember every time goons have suggested a path of action, and you've disagreed, and how that's ended up? It's all very well and good to say "well I'll just be a workaholic for five years", but I don't think anyone believes it will happen, and same goes for making partner. Not because you're lazy or a bad person or anything, but because you have a baby and family and you will want to spend time with them. What happens if you have another within those five years? Even if you only have the one, do you really want to be missing stuff because you have to hit your billables?

That's also a lot of pressure to put on Knytewife. Sure, she's checking out parent groups, but what would happen if the worst case scenario occurred - she couldn't find a good one, or she finds a good one only to realised it's dominated by petty bullshit drama? Of course not all are like that, but if the ones near her are, it isn't going to be like she'll have friends and family to be able to fall back on.

The reason that people are trying to get you to think more about this is because they think you can do better. You shouldn't settle for the first okay offer you can get.

the talent deficit
Dec 20, 2003

self-deprecation is a very british trait, and problems can arise when the british attempt to do so with a foreign culture





i don't think you should stay in reno necessarily but that job offer seems all kinds of bad. you can do better, especially if you're going to relocate to california

in_cahoots
Sep 12, 2011
Is the company listed on Glassdoor? You have to remember that everything they are saying to you is an attempt to get you to work for them. They tell every prospective employee the same thing - talk of bonus hours, becoming a director, company expansion, etc. Unless you can verify their promises from an independent source, you should not but much faith in them.

marchantia
Nov 5, 2009

WHAT IS THIS
Hey, lurker popping in to say that this is a really bad idea that has a potential to really gently caress you over for a really long time.

egoslicer
Jun 13, 2007
Popping in to say, I think this job could be a means to an end. It can be a platform into better jobs in the future since there is more opportunity than Reno.

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



Time, once again, for your semi-regular "let's look at how quickly your mindset has shifted" post.


May 24:

Guys, I want to take this job.

Knyteguy posted:

I don't mind being a workaholic now if it means getting out of debt, and getting some investments started. poo poo one of my huge goals is financial independence which would mean all the time in the world. The company is expanding rapidly right now, it'd be cool to see what it's like living in another city (and the mom stuff I've cleared up before, but just to do it again I had an extensive conversation with her, and she's OK with me moving, and in fact is doing much better mentally than she has been), etc etc. I totally disagree with you guys when you say I'm being impulsive. I'm thinking over the possibilities, and I'm not going to just jump on this since it sounds cool on the surface.

May 21:

The recruiter will accept an offer for me.

Knyteguy posted:

Quick side note on the job interview that I'm doing tomorrow: recruiter said to keep a number in mind that I would take, add $10,000 to that, and he'll finish the negotiations for me.

I was thinking of $95,000 I would take, making that $105,000.


May 13th:

Should I budget based on bonuses and my wife having a job when I'm not sure I'll get those bonuses or that the wife will get a job?

Knyteguy posted:

Say I was making $110,000-$120,000/yr in that area after all bonuses and compensation and whatever, and my wife is doing something else (she's been heavily working towards some stuff I'll try to get her to post about it this evening). Say my wife makes $15,000/yr to start though just to lowball it. How would we budget for all of this? Would that salary be worth it in that area? I wouldn't even know how to begin looking for a place to live or something.

Apr 30th:

My recruiters have been giving me the runaround but it's okay, because they seem genuinely nice. (Also I told one of them my salary but maybe stopped doing that with the second recruiter?)

Knyteguy posted:

To give you an idea of the recruiting company, they have an open bar the first Thursday of the month, every month. I imagine it's to forget the lovely previous month. These guys work 12 hour days who knows how many days a week, and the bulk of their pay must be contingent upon hire (and their offices are based in SF and NYC so it's expensive). Unfortunately these guys are the top of this particular industry. I'm not going to sacrifice any of my own happiness or total lifetime pay, but it sucks because nearly everyone I've talked to there seems genuinely nice.

Also

Knyteguy posted:

I haven't had a chance to look for remote opportunities since this recruiter is keeping me so busy.


Apr 28th:

I don't want to act rashly.

Knyteguy posted:

Also thanks for the support guys. I'm glad that it potentially didn't work out upon reflection. I wasn't planning on taking a potential offer or anything, but it's extremely important that I remember what I'm looking for in a job. I don't want to take the offer from the first company that offers me $20,000 more than what I make now when I could hold out for something better. Moving forward I think for my own sanity I'll hold off posting too much about job opportunities until they get to an offer, or maybe if I'm flying somewhere and the tickets are actually booked. Like Bugamol said this is probably going to take awhile, so no point in updating for every single thing.

Apr 24th:

I'm not sure I even want to move.

Knyteguy posted:

I won't be making any decisions regarding moving right now. I'm simply exploring options.

Apr 23rd:

Knyteguy posted:

It's not that simple. I'm heavily leaning stay home but I'm not near 100% any way yet. What if I get an offer and it's really great? Good bonuses, ESPP, better insurance? I'd have to weigh absolutely everything. If the offer is really good I don't want to have to fly somewhere on my own dime to see if I would like the area.


Knyteguy posted:

I do want to put out there that I'm not 'set' on moving jobs at all. I'm just exploring the path. My wife and I both have roots in this city of course (we've both lived here our whole lives), so it's not an appetizing idea. However just getting some offers will give me some confidence at work, and it will also tell me my market value. Doing interviews will give me confidence in being able to find more jobs. It's all pretty win-win in my opinion. I'm not going to pick up my family and leave the state on a whim. It'll need to be a very carefully thought out decision.

For example I was talking to my grandma about all of this yesterday, and she's like well what if you got out of debt couldn't you stay here? And yes we would be in much better shape to save. Aagar I don't have a particular timeframe in mind right now. It's way too far off to think about too much.

Apr 21:

Knyteguy posted:

Yes I agree this whole job thing needs to slow down it's got me spinning in circles. I didn't realize how fast the flood gates would open by applying for a single job on a single recruiter website.


Knyteguy posted:

The lease break fee is contractually "until we rent it out again" which was what I meant by no set amount. I think she said 3 months is what they generally charge, but that's verbal only. So $5,000 isn't enough, but I clarified.


Apr 7th:

Bachelor Party (lol) and also being a major source of your sister's income (which is talked about for like, the following week or two too)

Knyteguy posted:



Ouch yea not worth it. My sister is in a tough spot right now.

I wouldn't even know what to save for a bachelor party last one I went to was like $30 total.


I disagree that's how adulthood works because how many hosed up adults are there in the world. I do agree this is how a fiscally responsible person would operate, but I also think refusal does come with a social price that isn't to be disregarded. Bachelor parties don't happen all that often this may be the last chance I get, especially with friends I've known for 20 years. It's kind of moot because my discretionary should cover most of it.

I've been reading some tips to stick to budgets better, and more tips to stick to grocery budgets better. Maybe this'll help.

(in his defense, he did cancel the golf part of the bachelor party on the thread's advice)

Apr 6:

Not relevant, just lol.

Knyteguy posted:

Well I may just want to rearrange a little. No drastic changes. Also I thought all BFC thread guys had trouble hitting their budget. Now I don't want to be a guy who couldn't.


Apr 6:

Knyteguy posted:

Thank you.

I think the thread's measure of success vs my own measure of success is skewed. I feel like we've been successful in the scheme of things, and I feel like my impulse control has markedly approved over time. I think it will continue to improve as time goes on, too. Frankly much of last month was both my wife and I wanting to get the house better setup for having people over this summer, plus a small garden, and I didn't realize just how far we went over budget since I haven't been entering expenses as often. A lot of restaurant expenses was alcohol and I already cut that out completely if only for financial reasons.

A new expense coming up soon will be therapy. I'm going to start some family therapy with my mom. Her mental illness affects me, my wife, and soon it will be my son greatly. My wife also wants to start therapy for herself and possibly for us (we both feel we could communicate better). I also want to start some therapy to deal with some recent lovely situations life has thrown at me (friend in hospital with heart and liver failure), and to relearn some stress management techniques. Summer of mental health tune-ups, I guess.

Um, are you going to still be doing the family therapy if you move... or...?


Apr 2:

I'm not trying to switch things up. (Not quite the same, but I really think you guys need more stability, Jesus Christ.)

Knyteguy posted:

I mean it's not that stressful really. Pre-birth was some of the most stress I've ever had to deal with, but I feel pretty comfortable now. He's colicky but colic drops have been working wonders.

It'll be more pressure, but I tend to work really well under pressure. I'm not really trying to switch things up either though. I just want to make our restaurant spending last month up to ourselves. I'm disappointed, and more importantly since we have to budget $450 for the baby with babysitting (no it won't be free) it's getting hard to save what I want to save.



I still think this job has potential, based on, you know, the actual details of the offer (were you supposed to get it last Friday or this upcoming Friday?). I just think the details are really, really important, and want him to seriously consider the costs (both financial AND emotional, for himself and for others (such as his wife, sister, mom, etc)) before making said decision.

This feels like "guy's we're going to save so much money by living in a smaller apartment" -> "this apartment is too small and I'm already feeling stressed about it" -> "I think we really should move closer to my mom" -> "oh, there's mold here so now we have to move" -> "I broke the lease and didn't doublecheck the agreement or anything in my haste to go so they dicked me on some stupid fine about the keys" all over again.

I just don't want him to make a decision until he has all the facts on both sides, and he really doesn't yet!

ps: How much did you spend on lawn stuff and mower stuff? Have you broken even on the rent savings from that yet? You have, right (iirc, it was only going to take two months to break even?)

Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 02:42 on May 25, 2015

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
Alright thanks for the input. I'm still considering everything everyone is saying, so it's not like our decision has been made. Far from it actually.

One thing I'll throw out there is that I could work for this place for a year, which would expose me to a lot of new learning experiences, and then bounce out of there for something else. I don't feel like whatever I do has to be a very long-term decision.

The offer isn't here yet, so it's kind of hard to see the whole picture. What if there's really, really good benefits?

I mean moving here we are talking potentially a $40,000 a year raise. If I have to work 50 hours a week that's really not that bad. If you're talking about spending time with family, well my wife's days off wouldn't matter anymore, so we would very likely spend more time together. You guys gotta realize we only get 4 days a month off together right now. Plus she closes 1-2 times a week so we don't even see eachother those days. We're not getting any family time now as it is, and it's really a bummer. She would have more opportunities in SD, as well as the time to pursue them. I understand there's the baby and that's something I'll definitely want to put some thought into. I of course want to see him grow, but I don't know if it will be that extreme.

Also I don't know if I could break six figures elsewhere. I may even have trouble in Silicon Valley, as I'm still nearly, if not, a junior developer. I don't have a degree either. This isn't the first offer, it's nearer to the second. That Virginia job in the boonies has been waiting to see what happens with this job, but I could very likely get $80,000-$85,000 plus a $10,000 signing bonus if I pushed for it as the recruiter wants me to. I've turned down many other interviews because they weren't worth it.

I understand that making partner could be unreachable since I do have a family as mentioned. But I wouldn't want to write the opportunity off either.

Paragraph 4 is most important in this. Please read at least that if nothing else.

the talent deficit
Dec 20, 2003

self-deprecation is a very british trait, and problems can arise when the british attempt to do so with a foreign culture





Knyteguy posted:

Alright thanks for the input. I'm still considering everything everyone is saying, so it's not like our decision has been made. Far from it actually.

One thing I'll throw out there is that I could work for this place for a year, which would expose me to a lot of new learning experiences, and then bounce out of there for something else. I don't feel like whatever I do has to be a very long-term decision.

The offer isn't here yet, so it's kind of hard to see the whole picture. What if there's really, really good benefits?

I mean moving here we are talking potentially a $40,000 a year raise. If I have to work 50 hours a week that's really not that bad. If you're talking about spending time with family, well my wife's days off wouldn't matter anymore, so we would very likely spend more time together. You guys gotta realize we only get 4 days a month off together right now. Plus she closes 1-2 times a week so we don't even see eachother those days. We're not getting any family time now as it is, and it's really a bummer. She would have more opportunities in SD, as well as the time to pursue them. I understand there's the baby and that's something I'll definitely want to put some thought into. I of course want to see him grow, but I don't know if it will be that extreme.

Also I don't know if I could break six figures elsewhere. I may even have trouble in Silicon Valley, as I'm still nearly, if not, a junior developer. I don't have a degree either. This isn't the first offer, it's nearer to the second. That Virginia job in the boonies has been waiting to see what happens with this job, but I could very likely get $80,000-$85,000 plus a $10,000 signing bonus if I pushed for it as the recruiter wants me to. I've turned down many other interviews because they weren't worth it.

I understand that making partner could be unreachable since I do have a family as mentioned. But I wouldn't want to write the opportunity off either.

Paragraph 4 is most important in this. Please read at least that if nothing else.

if your plan is to work for a year and then move up to a better job you should probably target somewhere with more opportunity. san diego is not exactly a tech hotspot

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



Knyteguy posted:

Alright thanks for the input. I'm still considering everything everyone is saying, so it's not like our decision has been made. Far from it actually.

THEN DON'T GO AROUND SAYING "THE RECRUITER'S GOING TO ACCEPT AN OFFER ON MY BEHALF, THOUGHTS?"

I think someone else has said this before: you sometimes phrase things in a way that makes it sound like a decision has been made or is about to be made (and sometimes follow through without waiting for input, like with that secured credit card or whatever happened that one time), which brings people out from lurking to frantically try and pump the brakes to slow you down.

And I forgot how poo poo your wife's job actually is, and that matters a lot too, obviously, so that's actually a much better reason to consider moving to this new job (depending on the actual offer).


Here's a simple pros-vs-cons list for "moving away for a new job" (* for things that depend on which job and the details of the offer, which you don't have yet, so no decision can be made):

PROS:
Wife's job is poo poo, so increasing household income and letting her stop working (even just temporarily) is a good thing.
Might move closer to other family you haven't seen in a while? Or was that a different city
Better area for more jobs in the same field
Higher income, better capacity to save, etc.
*Job may have better benefits (401k matching, stock, better insurance, etc)
*Job may have potential for better career growth/learning
*Job might have a signing bonus or relocation stipend (the stipend sometimes gets revoked if you don't stay X amount of time?) to make up for having to break the lease

CONS:
Moving away from mother, sister, and grandmother
Higher cost of living
*Depending on cost of living and the details of the offer, you might actually end up making LESS money than you were originally
State income tax (at least in CA)
Have to break lease (~$5000)
Have to move away from all your friends
Wife may feel very isolated unless she can find a job (then daycare will be a problem) or a good "moms" group (may be easier in larger cities)
Lack of stability/another major change in the last several months, might be stressful
*New job might have more work hours -- too many work hours will impact your ability to see your baby grow
*New job might be higher-stress environment
Will have to leave old job (where you have a pretty good rapport with your current boss)
It'll look bad on your resume if you leave the new job immediately, so you'll be stuck there for a while


I can't think of anything else off the top of my head.

EDIT: vvv Hi-five! :D Great minds think alike, haha. :respek:

Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 03:08 on May 25, 2015

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
Pros
More money.
Huge room for career advancement, and just overall better for my career. This is a Microsoft Gold Partner it would open doors. Mentoring and training.
Wife can stay home from work while she pursues other opportunities.
Ocean.
San Diego in general.
Moving close to my family in LA.
Very likely more time seeing my wife. Lunches every day if we live close; all weekends off together. No more closing shifts.
I wouldn't have to watch the baby by myself every other weekend, and on my wife's closing nights. I'm sure single parents have it way harder so I'll shut up here.
Sell a bunch of excess stuff, so many costs would be recouped.
Some time off in between jobs while I get everything in order.
NFL and MLB teams!

Cons
More hours.
Moving further from family in Reno and Sacramento.
Probably less time seeing the baby, but this isn't 100%.
Income sways.
Moving. Again.
Travel expenses to visit back home.
State taxes.
Grandparents and cousins will see the baby less.

Horking I just saw your post I'll address it right after this.

This isn't exhaustive I'll think of more throughout the week.

e: ^^ haha :respek:

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 03:07 on May 25, 2015

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Horking Delight posted:

Time, once again, for your semi-regular "let's look at how quickly your mindset has shifted" post.

May 24:

Guys, I want to take this job.

...

Apr 2:

I'm not trying to switch things up. (Not quite the same, but I really think you guys need more stability, Jesus Christ.)

I still think this job has potential, based on, you know, the actual details of the offer (were you supposed to get it last Friday or this upcoming Friday?). I just think the details are really, really important, and want him to seriously consider the costs (both financial AND emotional, for himself and for others (such as his wife, sister, mom, etc)) before making said decision.

This feels like "guy's we're going to save so much money by living in a smaller apartment" -> "this apartment is too small and I'm already feeling stressed about it" -> "I think we really should move closer to my mom" -> "oh, there's mold here so now we have to move" -> "I broke the lease and didn't doublecheck the agreement or anything in my haste to go so they dicked me on some stupid fine about the keys" all over again.

I just don't want him to make a decision until he has all the facts on both sides, and he really doesn't yet!

ps: How much did you spend on lawn stuff and mower stuff? Have you broken even on the rent savings from that yet? You have, right (iirc, it was only going to take two months to break even?)

Recruiter: the recruiter just negotiates the offer after speaking with me, not accepts it. He'll negotiate the offer, and he'll send it to me to accept it or whatever. It's SOP at this recruiter. I don't have a problem with it, since I negotiate with the recruiter while they try to find me companies in the pay range I want. This guy seems good though he told this company in San Diego I wanted $120,000. I've never told this guy my current salary, nor this company.

Yard stuff: Oh yea it's all well into the black now; it wasn't that bad actually. I could probably sell it and recoup most of the costs here, since the mower at least was a floor model.

Job offer will be here this coming Friday, I think at the latest. They had a partner out of town. I'd guess it could take a few more days potentially.

Acting rashly: I've been pretty selective though with the jobs to move forward with (I turned down that second interview for that one remember?). I don't want to act rashly, but I think this is potentially a really good, high-paying job if I want it. I don't want this to be like the apartment, you're right. And I've also been thinking of that.

Planning for bonuses: Some of the bonuses are absolutely guaranteed even if say a deliverable isn't delivered, but some are discretionary upon finishing X requirement. I could count on the guaranteed bonuses, but discretionary would be up to me. Getting certified in the newest version of this software is one for example of a discretionary bonus.

Slowing down: I slowed it down a lot. I was interviewing every day with different recruiters (of the same company), but I stopped scheduling them so much. Again as of right now all of this can be considered interview experience and nothing more, too.

Sister's income: She found another daycare kid who is 5 I think, and that place pays her $700/mo plus cash tips pretty often. She doesn't need us to make money anymore she's very capable.

Bachelor party: I cancelled the whole thing, not just golf. I saved easily $100 if not more. Plus I missed a shitload of drama.

I get your point and there's some things I need to take a look at again. I think if I give a lot of thought to this offer then the right decision will be made. I don't intend to say yes or no without careful consideration, and discussion with you guys and my family.

the talent deficit posted:

if your plan is to work for a year and then move up to a better job you should probably target somewhere with more opportunity. san diego is not exactly a tech hotspot

Can't really answer this since I don't know the area. I did check out their Craigslist and SO Careers and it's still a lot better than Reno though. However this will give me experience and way better leverage to move to another area later on, career-wise. I didn't get any bites for SF-Bay in this industry, so I'm sure more experience would help here. San Diego I think would be a really cool place to live though.

in_cahoots posted:

Is the company listed on Glassdoor? You have to remember that everything they are saying to you is an attempt to get you to work for them. They tell every prospective employee the same thing - talk of bonus hours, becoming a director, company expansion, etc. Unless you can verify their promises from an independent source, you should not but much faith in them.

Not on Glassdoor unfortunately. That's the first place I've looked for every company I've even started interviewing with.

These guys may try to make this company look like a gem when it's really just a polished turd, but I don't get that vibe. These guys are planning on the future. Well into the future. The guy I talked to is very intelligent and he's trying to prepare for some really big changes in the industry, which my skill set happens to match very well. He knows I want money I made it clear (gently caress it's a consultancy firm everyone wants money), so I don't see why they would bother if they thought I would walk since the pay sucks.

n8r
Jul 3, 2003

I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar
Why chip away slowly at your debt by budgeting well and not wasting money? Just take a job a forum full of tech nerds say is a bad idea, while moving 1000 miles away from your support system.

Just a scenario to think about:
Let's say you and your wife want to go out on a date night (budgeted of course).

Now - I'm betting your Mom / sister can babysit on short notice. No way that is happening in SD without lots of $$ paid to a childcare person. This is just one of the many situations where your quality of life and your budget will be effected directly by relocating.

Have you spoken with your families about this? Don't you want your child(ren) to grow up around grandparents?

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

n8r posted:

Why chip away slowly at your debt by budgeting well and not wasting money? Just take a job a forum full of tech nerds say is a bad idea, while moving 1000 miles away from your support system.

Just a scenario to think about :
Let's say you and your wife want to go out on a date night (budgeted of course).

Now - I'm betting your Mom / sister can babysit on short notice. No way that is happening in SD without lots of $$ paid to a childcare person. This is just one of the many situations where your quality of life and your budget will be effected directly by relocating.

Have you spoken with your families about this? Don't you want your child(ren) to grow up around grandparents?

I have no problem chipping away debt slowly, but why do it slowly if I am capable of doing it quicker? My wife and I date night rarely, I'm not really worried about a babysitter maybe once a month.

I don't feel like anyone is really telling me this is a bad idea except for you n8r. There's a lot of proceed with caution, which I think I am. You said this would get us stuck in a bad situation, but not many reasons why. We could look at nearly doubling our income here over some time. I'd be happy to hear more reasons beyond time. Time is an unknown factor at this point.

My wife's childhood beat friend actually lives in San Diego she remembered today, so that would be another pro.

And of course I want my son to grow up with his grandparents and family. But again this wouldn't have to be forever. I will be returning to Reno because of the low COL if we move. Plus we'd be moving near some family I care about very much, but never see.

Would anyone tell SloMo to take a job like mine over his if he had been presented with a hypothetical opportunity? Even assuming he had kids. I'm not being snarky here in genuinely curious.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 05:14 on May 25, 2015

Inept
Jul 8, 2003

Knyteguy posted:

We could look at nearly doubling our income here over some time.

I'm not sure why, but you seem to keep ignoring it when everyone tells you San Diego costs about 1.5x as much. You won't be making much more at all. A bit less actually if your wife doesn't have a job.

Colin Mockery
Jun 24, 2007
Rawr



SlowMo's problem was always spending (and his inability to pass the tests to get a higher rate), never income. It would have been meaningless for him to get a better job because he would have just increased his spending proportionately.

Your problem is definitely largely spending, but you also have the potential to make significantly more just by switching to a different job in the same field, which is better for your career anyways, and moving to a better area for your industry is a good career move in general.

You're impulsive and you tend to make choices without thinking them through or without taking a cheaper almost-as-good (and sometimes equally good!) alternative. SlowMo... just burns money and has an obsession with keeping up with the Joneses (you feel this way sometimes, by your own admission, but at least you try to resist it).

I think doing this much upheaval of your life while you still have a newborn and are dealing with all of that is unwise and I think it'd be best for you to get a comparable job (for 85k or something) working remotely so that you don't have to move, and then do another job change and a move when your lease runs out.

In order my preferences for you would probably be roughly like this:

A. Get new job working remotely (don't move), for a raise (80-95k), and potential career growth
B. Move for really good amount of money (120k, not ridiculous cost of living, benefits, not having ridiculous work hours, etc), with potential career growth
C. Get significant raise at current place (75-80k, however much is enough for wife to potentially stop working retail and start doing other stuff, while also letting you pay down debt)
D. Move for decent amount of money (95-105k, benefits, maybe? no ridiculous work hours, etc)
E. Stay at current place


I feel like you are looking at a potential option D, which is better than doing nothing? On the other hand, apparently you want to move just because you genuinely like the area better and actually want to live there, which is, you know, also a good reason and isn't something I was thinking of when you first mentioned it (I'm currently viewing "having to move" as a negative but you seem to be viewing it as a positive).

I kind of can't believe you signed a 1-year lease without seriously planning on living in the place for a loving year.

Twice.



EDIT: ^^ If he's making about the same (maybe a bit less) as he is now, but his wife doesn't have to work her lovely job and has more time with the kid, and they both genuinely would prefer to live in SD over Reno, and there's still a support network of friends and family there (such as his wife's childhood best friend and some family he cares deeply about), doesn't that mean they should seriously consider moving?


EDIT: vvv C'mon dude. When you make a guess, though, always guess on the more conservative side so you don't get hosed if you were wrong. In this case, you should really assume "cost of living is 1.5x so I'll probably end up spending 1.5x as much as I do now on necessities".

Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 05:39 on May 25, 2015

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Inept posted:

I'm not sure why, but you seem to keep ignoring it when everyone tells you San Diego costs about 1.5x as much. You won't be making much more at all. A bit less actually if your wife doesn't have a job.

Cost of living, as argued in this thread and elsewhere in BFC doesn't show the whole picture though. In the arguments I've read it has been mentioned that cost of living assumes every dollar is spent. If we bought stuff that cost less than 1.5x then the comparison would sway. I think some people made a compelling argument that it's not necessarily apples to apples with Col.

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Ancillary Character
Jul 25, 2007
Going about life as if I were a third-tier ancillary character

Knyteguy posted:

I mean moving here we are talking potentially a $40,000 a year raise.

How much of that $40k raise is from the base salary and how much is from their rosy projections of how much you'll be billing?

Knyteguy posted:

Cons
Income sways.

Can you weather these potential income sways? What if the economy slows down over the next year and billable work or deliverables dry up a bit and you're making closer to the base that they're offering? Will you be able to pay all the bills then, especially the higher rents in SD?

Ancillary Character fucked around with this message at 05:48 on May 25, 2015

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